Wally's Justice
by SpritelyGryffindor
Summary: Wally could fight villains and rescue hostages without hesitation, but what does he do when domestic violence springs up in his own home?  He has to make his choice.  Keep silent to make his mother happy, or speak up to keep her safe.
1. Chapter 1: So it Begins

"Bye!" said Wally cheerfully to his teammates as he walked to the zeta beam in the cave. It announced his departure and he suddenly found himself in Central City.

The smile slid off his face as he turned and ran in the direction of his house. He really wasn't looking forward to going home. His parents were going through one of their rocky stages. He had noticed it around the time he had started school, when he came home after a mission to find his parents screaming at each other.

At the time he had snuck upstairs, hoping that they would work things before morning, and as it turned out, it _had_ been better in the morning. Unfortunately, it all went to crap two nights later when his Dad stormed into the kitchen and started yelling at him mom. Again he ignored it, but it became harder to ignore the third, fourth, and fifth time he caught them arguing.

He had thought it would get better with time, but over the past couple of months things had gotten worse, the occasional fights were becoming more and more frequent.

His father worked for some factory during the afternoon shift from three in the afternoon to eleven at night, he typically came home after midnight, and his mother worked a typical nine to five, so the only time the two saw each other—and Wally for that matter—during the week, was late at night, which was when the yelling typically started up.

This gave Wally, who usually got in between midnight and three in the morning, a front row seat to a lot of their nastier arguments.

It finally reached a point where Wally would stagger in every night, exhausted from a mission or patrol, desperate to lay down and get some sleep, only to be kept up by the sound of angry voices from across the hall or down the stairs.

He didn't understand exactly why his parents had been fighting so much lately. Every so often he caught phrases like "not paying bills", "where have you been", "you're not doing enough," "Don't you care about me," being flung between the two, but he still wasn't sure why this was happening.

Every once in a while Wally found himself wondering if his parents were going to get a divorce. Of course, this thought wasn't new. His parents' relationship with each other and with him had never been all that good. There were times in his childhood when Wally found himself walking on eggshells; worried that one little mistake would finally destroy their delicate family structure.

What Wally didn't understand was that his family was already beyond saving. He didn't know that by running towards home, he was leaving everything he cared about behind. He didn't have the faintest clue.

Wally ducked into an alley to change into his civvies, and he walked home casually, checking his watch as he walked up the steps to his house. It was one am on a Thursday, he remembered this fact later because it was the last thing he saw before his life fell to pieces.

Wally opened the door and blinked hard, trying to figure out what he was seeing.

His father was standing over his mother, who was curled against the wall, crying.

"You lousy—" the rest of the man's sentence was lost in a snarl as he, raised a hand to strike his wife.

Wally saw it fly in slow motion and his feet _moved_.

A blur zoomed in and blocked the punch that the man was about to throw at the cowering woman.

Wally West stood there facing his father, looking horrified.

"Dad, what are you doing?" he whispered, his eyes wide.

Wally saw the fist heading towards him, but his mind was blank with shock; he didn't even register the fact that his father was attacking him until the clenched hand collided with the side of his face. Wally was knocked sideways into the wall, and he leaned against it for support, gasping is surprise. His mother screamed.

"Don't you interfere you runt!" he barked before turning back to his wife.

"Is _he_ even mine?" he demanded, gesturing at Wally

"Y-Yes! Rudolf, I swear, it was only a misunderstanding!" she gasped, horrified.

"Well misunderstand this", Rudolf yelled moving to kick his wife.

Wally pushed himself off the wall and dived at his father, knocking him down.

Rudolf grunted as he hit the ground. By the time he got back up both his son and his wife were gone.

Wally stopped running as he reached a park near the edge of the city that was lit by streetlamps. He set his mother down on a bench, gently.

"Mom—" Wally didn't even know how to finish the sentence. He touched his mother's swollen face, his eyes filling with tears. "Mom, why did he…why?"

Wally looked devastated as her stared at his mother.

"I d-deserved it" she sobbed. Wally's eyes widened with shock and horror.

"No! Mom, this…this is not okay! He has no right to—wait! How long has he been doing this?" Wally demanded.

"Oh, baby, he's never hurt me before! I—I just—I was with another man and…well I was drunk and…well your father found out and…Wally, I deserved it."

"You were cheating?" Wally asked, shocked, then he shook his head.

"Wait no, that's not the point, he has no right to hit you! No right at all!"

"He didn't mean it, Wally, he's never done it before. I'm sure if I just go back to the house and talk to him…" she looked up with watery eyes that just begged him to drop it.

"No, Mom!" said Wally vehemently.

"Wallace West you take me home right this instant!"

"No!"

"Please!"

"I'm sorry, but I can't."

"I'm begging you!" she screamed, and Wally blanched. She was using the exact tone she used when she was arguing with his dad. The thought made him cringe.

"Please, this is embarrassing enough without you making a fuss over it" she said, looking at him brokenly "Please, let me fix things. I messed up, baby, please take me back and fix it"

Wally looked at his mother's expression, and felt torn. He hadn't seen this coming, he honestly hadn't. It had never even crossed his mind that his father was capable of doing such a thing. He didn't know what to do.

A part of him wanted to do what his mom told him to. He just wanted to rush home so his parents could make up and go back to the way things were, when his mother didn't cry every day and his father didn't shout—but…but the bruises on his mother's face…

"No, Mom" said Wally quietly. "No, we can't go back there tonight" Wally still had no clue what to do but he did know that heading back home right now was not a good option. Though the man had never been violent before, Wally knew that his father could be in a rage for hours at a time. There was no way he was letting his mother anywhere near him right now.

"Wally, we have nowhere else to go!" his mother exclaimed, still crying.

"We'll go to Uncle Barry's" said Wally automatically. _Uncle Barry will know what to do. Uncle Barry always knows what to do. _He thought.

"No, we can't" said his mother frantically.

"Mom—"

"No, Wally! Iris is Rudy's brother, we can't tell her about this, it'll mess things up for her and Rudy. Besides, Iris and Barry wouldn't understand. They don't understand our family, but you do, don't you Wally? You know he doesn't mean it. You know he loves us. He won't do it again."

Wally felt his resolve cracking; his mother sensed this and hit him with the trump card.

"Come on Sweetie-green-eyes, do it for me?" she begged, using the absurd nickname that she'd been calling him for as long as he could remember.

Wally sighed; he was beaten and they both knew it.

"Well, I guess we can go home…" said Wally hesitantly, "but let's go to a diner first or something. Just wait a bit while he cools off."

"Thank you baby" his mother said, kissing his cheek. Wally nodded, wondering if he was doing the right thing, and picked up his mom, speeding towards the nearest twenty-four hour diner.


	2. Chapter 2: Bribery

**Hey everyone, just figured I'd give you all a heads up. I did the prologue in third person, but from here on out everything will be from Wally's point of view. The character of this story just seems to work better in first person.**

It took a while, but after two hours of sitting on plastic diner seats, eating French fries and twiddling our thumbs, mom finally managed to convince me that it was safe to go home. I picked her up and zipped through the streets of Central.

It was weird to be running through the streets, mostly in my civies save for the goggles on my face, carrying my _mom._ Matter of fact this whole situation was weird, and _scary. _I'd heard stories about domestic abuse. How could I not? Especially in my line of work! But I'd never _ever_ thought that something like that would happen in _my_ family. I was supposed to be the (relatively) normal one.

Richard had his trauma-filled childhood, Kaldur lived in the _ocean_, M'gann was from _Mars_, and Supey was cloned! As for Artemis, her past is as shrouded in mystery as Robin's is (though Robin told me his identity which makes him less mysterious). But me, I'm supposed to be the normal one! I have parents, aunts, uncles, and cousins! I live in an average house in an average neighborhood with ordinary people. That's the way it's supposed to be, that's the way it's always been, so why is everything changing now?

I stopped in front of the house and set mom down in the driveway. I zipped into the house ahead of her to make sure that I'd be on the receiving end of any more attacks if my dad was still angry.

Well, I was attacked, but not in the way that I was expecting.

"Wally!" I jumped slightly and turned to see my father rushing towards me. I braced myself but was shocked when my dad pulled me into a huge bear hug. I tensed from head to toe.

"I'm so sorry son, I'm so sorry I hurt you! Are you okay? Is your mother—"

Rudy caught sight of his wife

"Oh, Mary!"

Rudy dropped to his knees and pleaded with my mom.

"Please forgive me my love, that was completely inexcusable, I'm so sorry!"

Mary knelt down in front of her husband, and embraced him.

"I'm sorry too!" she wept.

I just stood there wondering _what_ was going on. One minute dad was a raging bull, and the next he was a blubbering mess? What had gotten into him! Dad doesn't _do_ big emotion. There are times he when he could give _Batman_ a run for his money!

I watched the two of them babbling, not really listening to what was being said. I did pay attention when the two of them started up the stairs. I waited until they reached the top before following. There was no way I was going to just leave them alone together.

I posted myself outside of their bedroom door as soon as they closed it, pressing my ear to the door.

"Mary, I'm sorry, I wasn't myself"

"I know, dear, I know."

"I don't know what to do, I mean, your face! What are we going to say?"

"We'll just have to make up an excuse" said Mary reassuringly and I cringed, not liking where their conversation was going.

"Like what?" Rudy asked, though he spoke as if he already had something in mind, like asking his wife was simply a formality.

"I could say that I tripped, fell into the bed post."

"That's not very believable Mary. I think we should say…" he paused a moment, pretending to think. I could tell he was pretending. Being best friends with Batman's partner for well over two years meant that I know a thing or two about reading people…well, at least people the people that were close to me.

"I think we should say that Wally and his friends were fooling around in the backyard and Wally accidentally hit you in the face with a baseball."

I gritted by teeth as if that would help control the sickening roll of hot anger in my stomach. _He's blaming __**me**__? _I thought indignantly.

"Well…" my mother hesitated. I held my breath.

"…I guess that's pretty believable."

_She's letting him! She's letting him blame me for this? How dare they!_

I wanted to get up and storm away, I was just so angry, but I wasn't about to leave until I knew my mom was definitely safe.

It was approaching four o clock in the morning when they stopped talking and the sound of sheets rustling and lights clicking off met my ears. I had two hours until I needed to be in school.

I staggered into my room and laid facedown on my bed without even bothering to take my shoes off.

The next thing that I was aware of was an aching headache, a growling stomach, and an incessant noise. I realized that the incessant noise was my alarm clock and I shut it off at once, fully intending to go back to sleep. I rubbed my face against the pillow, my watch digging into my wrist and my shoes snagging on the sheets…

_Wait, shoes? Why am I wearing—_I bolted up as the events from last night came at me like ticked off football team. I was tackled with all the emotions that I'd felt that night and I realized that my hands were shaking in super-speed.

He was just trying to steady them when there was a knock on his door. Wally took a deep breath and let it out before getting up and opening his door.

His mother stood there in her work clothes with a smile on her face.

"Hello, Sweetie."

I just stared at her. Her whole left cheek was swollen and bruised. I could see that she was wearing a lot of make up to hide the coloring, but there was nothing she could do about the giant puffy area that used to be smooth skin.

"…Hey" I said.

"I made breakfast, come downstairs."

It took me a second to register what she had said.

_Mom got up to make breakfast? She never gets out of bed before eight, and she hasn't made breakfast on a weekday since I was in the second grade._ I thought, eyeing my mother suspiciously.

I sat down at the table and my mother piled my plate high with waffles, eggs, and bacon.

_Okay, now I know she's up to something if she's breaking out the waffle iron. She hates cleaning that thing._

She waited until she had sufficiently stuffed (well as stuffed as a speedster can be) myself until she spoke.

"So how about I give you a ride to school, that way you don't have to walk?"

"O—kay" I said now seriously wondering why she chose this morning to spoil me. I didn't have to wait long to find out though, we were halfway to my school when mom finally spoke up.

"So, Wally, dear…You're dad and I were thinking of a way to explain my bruises in a way that won't get everyone all riled up" she glanced at me out of the corner of her eye, trying to gauge my reaction.

"Well, honey, we need to pretend if it's an accident, and you see neither Rudy nor myself is very accident prone, but you've built up a bit of a reputation for clumsy moments" she said, chewing her lip.

"We decided that it was best if we said you accidentally hit me with a baseball. You're a child, no one will blame you, and things will be able to calm down again."

I didn't say anything. I knew now what the whole breakfast and ride to school routine was all about. It was a bribe, one I' d accepted without realizing it.

"Honey?" she asked as we pulled up in front of the school.

I wanted to refuse, but she was giving me that look. It was the one that moms used whenever they were trying to guilt you into something.

I rolled my eyes, kicking myself for letting them drag me into their lie, and took a breath.

"Right, baseball, got it" I said flatly as I unbuckled my seatbelt. "Have a good day at work" I said climbing out of the car and walking towards the school before she could say anything else.

I felt a bit disappointed in myself for giving her a hard time, given everything she'd been through lately, but I couldn't help it. I was too tired and frustrated to be tactful, not that I usually am, but even so…

I sighed. This day was not going to be fun…


	3. Chapter 3: Trickster

**Hey, me again. So those of you who, like myself, pay attention to times and dates in stories probably noticed my error in chapter two. I said Wally went to bed at four in the morning and he had to be in two hours. Well, Wally definitely doesn't go to school at six am, I meant to say that he went to bed around four or five-ish and had to get up at seven to get ready for school. Just wanted to clarify. **

When the bell rang signaling the end of the school day I practically bolted from the building. I was running on a couple hours sleep and had been nodding off in class all day. The nap that I had been longing for since first period English was almost within my reach…

That's when I found my dad waiting outside my school in the car.

_Why isn't he at work? Why is he here? Is this about last night? Ah, I so do not have the energy to deal with this right now!_

I huffed in frustration and confusion before I reluctantly walked over to his car and got in the passenger seat next to him.

"Hey Wall-man" said dad with a smile, and my bad mood faltered. My dad hardly ever smiled lately, and having him smile at _me_ while he called me that old nickname made me feel special, like I'd made him proud. I know it's childish, but I couldn't stop myself from softening up.

"Uh, hey dad" I said, not looking at him. "I, uh, thought you had work?" I said nervously.

"I switched shifts with Muroski. I haven't been able to spend much time with you and your mom since I started working evening shift a few months back." He replied.

"Oh" was all I could think of to say. The car was quiet for a minute as he pulled out into traffic and towards a stoplight.

"Listen kid, I'm sorry" he said, breaking the silence.

"I know" was all that I said.

Dad sighed.

"I know it'll take a while to fix things, but we'll work it out, I promise."

"Mhm" I replied tiredly as we pulled up to a stoplight, not wanting to trust him just yet.

"Wally" said dad, placing a hand on my shoulder.

I looked over at him and met his eyes, and was caught off guard by their sincerity.

"I promise" he said firmly.

I stared into his eyes. He was silently asking, begging me to trust him. The light had turned green, cars were honking, but my dad didn't look away. I didn't think. I just nodded.

Dad started driving again, turning towards town.

"I was thinking…we haven't had time to talk in a while" said dad. "Maybe we could go and get something to eat, you know, catch up?" he asked.

I considered this, but only briefly. To be honest, I probably wouldn't have accepted his offer even if I _wasn't_ about to fall down from exhaustion. A lot of different things happened to me over the past…however many hours it had been, and I wasn't in the mood to talk about them yet, so I simply said:

"Dad, I barely slept at all last night, can I please just go home and take a nap?" I pleaded, fighting off a yawn.

"You sure you can't spare a few minutes?" dad asked, shooting me a disappointed look.

"I'm about to fall down, sorry" I said, leaning my head against the window to avoid his gaze.

"Alright" he said with a sigh, and we turned towards home.

I was left to my own thoughts for the few minute drive.

Needless to say, I passed out as soon as I got to my bedroom. This was an expected event. What I did _not_ expect was for my mom to shake me awake a few hours later and tell me that Aunt Iris and Uncle Barry were downstairs.

"Hey, there Wally!" said my uncle cheerfully.

"Hey, uncle Barry" I replied groggily, "What's up, is there a mission?"

"Nah, me and Iris were driving by and we figured we'd stop in and say hello" he replied.

Aunt Iris gave me a look that seemed amused, but I could sense a slight bit of tension to her gaze.

"I hear you gave your mother a black eye."

I stared at her, feeling both sad and frustrated by the underlying scold in her voice. I didn't deserve this. I really didn't. So I told the truth, or at least…I didn't technically lie.

"I'm very sorry that she got hurt," I said looking remorseful, neither confirming nor denying that it was my fault.

Uncle Barry quirked an eyebrow at my word choice and asked; "Couldn't you have caught it?"

"I tried to stop her from getting hurt, but I was too late to prevent the damage" was all I said, and my tone was serious.

Now everyone was staring at me. My mom looked nervous and my dad was glaring at me behind everyone's backs.

My aunt and uncle were confused by my attitude. Normally I would have been tripping over myself in my typical spastic manner, trying to justify _why_ I had messed up, but I wasn't going to do that. If I wasn't allowed to tell the truth, fine, but I wasn't about to pretend that I was okay with their stupid cover story.

"Don't be so hard on yourself Honey, it wasn't like you did it on purpose, it's okay" mom said as she wrapped an arm around my shoulders and said to my aunt and uncle;

"He was very upset last night, kept going on about concussions and brain damage, but I'm fine" she said with that smile that she used whenever she was in public.

I frowned at this thought. _Come to think of it mom hardly ever smiles when it's just her, dad, and me alone together. She only ever puts on a grin when there are other people around._

My thoughts were broken by my mother's fake laughter.

"He chooses the oddest times to get serious and mopey! Honestly, Wallace, cheer up! We're having roast tonight! Speaking of, would you two like to stay?" my mom asked my aunt and uncle.

My uncle probably would have consented if his pocket hadn't started buzzing at that exact moment. He pulled out the pager for his "other job."

"Sorry, but Captain Cold, Trickster, and Boomerang are causing some trouble downtown" he said, reading the message on the screen.

He looked at me.

"You coming with?" he asked with a grin.

My only reply was to superspeed upstairs, put on my superhero gear, and superspeed back down.

"You bet Uncle Barry" I said with a grin.

"I'll save you some dinner" said mom.

"Watch yourself out there" said dad.

I smiled at the both of them because, for the first time since my aunt and uncle came, I knew they were being sincere.

Uncle Barry and I said a quick goodbye and took off towards the place where the villains were last sighted. Flash took advantage of this time to question me.

"So what's wrong kid? Other than the whole baseball thing?" Uncle Barry shouted over the wind between us.

"What?" I asked.

"Come on kid, we all saw how strange you were acting a few minutes ago. Is there something we should be worried about?"

It was a yes or no question, but I just _knew_ that if I answered it directly that he'd be able to see through my lie, so I simply said.

"I'm fine. I just—" _think of an excuse…something that's true. You're a crappy liar, but if you come up with an excuse that's somehow true…_

"I found out that M'gann and Conner are dating" I blurted out. _Perfect! _I thought. I remember telling uncle Barry all about the hot alien girl on my team, he even teased me a bit about crushing on her.

Uncle Barry looked at me in surprise.

"M'gann? The one you always—ah, Kid, I'm sorry." he said.

I shrugged with fake disappointment on my face. In truth I had been a little bummed when I found out, not that I let on that I knew. It was easier with me to just flirt with M'gann without people thinking that I was trying to steal her from Conner, because I honestly wasn't.

At this point I was mostly flirting with her for the banter. I knew she was sensitive, so I couldn't bicker with her the way I did with Artemis and Robin, and I couldn't tease her the way I did with Conner and Kaldur, so why not flirt? It's my way of telling her that I like her and think she's a cool person.

"Don't worry kid," said my uncle over the roar of the wind, "there's plenty of other hotties out there" he smirked.

I rolled my eyes

"Oh, look, it's Cold" I said dryly as I pointed ahead. I was glad for an excuse to end the conversation.

My uncle took off to try and subdue him. I was about to follow when I heard the mad cackle of Trickster.

He was using his recently developed…what did he call it? Right! His slime gun! to melt a display window on a jewelry store. I was about to run over and disarm him when—

"Kid, look out!" my uncle shouted. Captain cold took advantage of my uncle's distraction and took a shot at him. Flash roared in pain ad his shoulder was encased in ice.

"Flas—ahhhh!" I shouted in pain as something hit me hard in the back. I felt something clamp around my waist and I was suddenly thirty feet off of the ground. I looked around and saw that I was attached to a boomerang. A metal boomerang that was headed straight for a tall brick building…

I yelled and immediately slammed a hand onto the wing behind me and made it vibrate, hard. I could feel the metal absorbing my energy.

_Just a little more…_

A chunk of the wing exploded. There was a moment where I was frozen in mid-air as the boomerang lost momentum.

Then it fell, and it took me with it. Apparently the boomerang still had enough of the one side left to produce a helicopter blade effect because I was _spinning_ as I was falling.

My breath caught in my chest, my stomach flipped and squirmed. The world was moving around and around. I tried to match the speed, tried frantically to keep up. I know, I know, the speed of gravity should be nothing for me, but the fact is that I'm still a new speedster. Adjusting to sudden shifts in speed is still difficult for me sometimes.

I concentrated, willing my mind to move as fast as the device holding me. _Around and around. What is that blur? How fast am I going…Let's slow it down, slow down…_

The movement of the boomerang warped and seemed to slow. Things were moving in slow motion now, I was so dizzy that it was hard to focus, the boomerang rotated in the air and I saw the ground and how _close _it was.

I panicked and the world went nuts. It sped up and slowed down, sped up and slowed down. Somewhere in the strange shifts in time I threw my arms out in front of me and created a wind tunnel.

This served to stabilize the boomerang, but by the time the dizziness in my head cleared and I finally figured out which way was up and which was down, I realized that I was literally propelling myself towards the ground. I tried to redirect my wind tunnel, but I knew it wouldn't be enough, I was going to hit the ground, hard.

_Okay, Okay, Don't panic. It's a nasty fall but you should be fine as long as the boomerang doesn't land directly on top of you or explode or….Awe man, this is gonna hurt. _I thought as I prepared for the imminent crash.

Suddenly I felt a wind blast into me and felt the boomerang slow. I didn't need to look below me to realize that Flash was there, using his own wind tunnel to lower me to the ground. I had just touched down and looked over at my uncle when he blurred out of the way of a glob of goo.

I looked over and realized that Trickster had aimed his slime gun at Flash. Flash ran towards a piece of rubble that had become smeared with the acid from the gun and picked it up carefully. Running over to me he held it up and I shifted in the cuff around my waist, leaving a few inches of space between my left side and the metal band.

Flash wiped a bit of the excess acid from the rubble onto the cuff and watched as it started to melt. The second the metal was thin enough I pushed on the metal and Flash pulled. The resulting screech as the metal gave way was enough to make you want to grind your teeth, but Flash and I were able to open the cuff enough for me to slip out.

I hadn't even stood up properly before Flash had me by the arm and was running. I was stumbling behind him, not quite able to get my bearings. When we stopped I fell forwards, and he caught me. He stood me up straight and I was finally able to see the reason for our sudden sprint.

There was a pile of acid goo on the boomerang right behind the place where Flash and I had been standing. The two of us looked over at Trickster, who was aiming the gun a third time. We were about to run at him when we heard something above us. We ran and something exploded behind us.

Looking back we saw several small boomerangs were chasing us while several others lay on the ground, smoking slightly.

"How do you like that?" Yelled Captain Boomerang from on top of a near by roof.

"You take Trickster, I'll get Boomerang" yelled my uncle.

"What about Cold?" I asked

"Knocked out."

Satisfied with this response I ran towards Trickster.

I had just knocked the gun out of his hands and put his arms in a tight hold when—

"Kid Flash!" someone squealed. I turned and saw a little boy standing to my left. He looked to be about four or five and was wearing a Flash t-shirt.

_Oh no, no, no, bad timing kid. Where's your mother? _I thought.

"I knew I saw you! Can you sign my shirt?" he asked eagerly, not noticing the horrified look on my face.

Trickster of course took advantage of my distraction clamped his palm down on the hand I was using to hold his right arm behind his back.

I was instantly tasered by one of those trick buttons that people put in their hands, you know the kind. Go to shake someone's hand and ZAP! Well, this particular button was abnormally heavy on the zap.

I fell to my knees, my body twitching slightly.

"Sam!" I looked up through watery eyes and saw a heavyset woman run out of an alleyway.

_Must be the mother. _I thought vaguely, that's when I saw movement out of the corner of my eye.

Trickster pulled something out of his sleeve and threw it at the pair.

I tried to stand up, but my knees gave out. The after-shock of the taser was making me shake. I squirmed, frantically to my feet, but it was too late. The mother and son were suddenly bound by…was that a giant neon pink jump rope?

Trickster cackled, snatched up his gun, and shot at me again. I dodged and saw that there was no puddle of goo melting away the ground I'd been standing on.

He was out of ammo…

Seizing the opportunity, I ran towards Trickster—

Suddenly my feet were flying out from under me. There was the unpleasant sensation of falling backwards and the even worse sensation of slamming into the concrete ground at an abnormally fast pace. The best I could do was stop my head from slamming into the road, but the rest of me hit full force. The wind left my lungs for a moment, and when it came back all could do was groan in pain. When my vision refocused I saw something rolling across the ground next to me.

_Marbles, how original _I thought grumpily.

I heard a click and looked up. Apparently Trickster had reloaded his gun. The world slowed down and I kicked my body into overdrive. I heard a shot and I stood up to run, slipping over the marbles, trying not to fall.

When I was far enough away I looked back to Trickster and his gun and I saw an enormous amount of slime moving through the air, heading straight to where I'd been less than a second ago. It hit the ground and there was so much of the acid there that it splattered violently. I backed up instinctively and my eyes fell on the civilians that were tied up. I saw a splatter of acid heading straight for the little boy…

My feet were moving, legs pumping, picking up speed.

_Oh please, please let me get to the kid in time, please!_

I saw the substance undulating sickeningly in the air and there was no doubt that it was going to hit the kid in the face, right in the eyes.

_This will blind him; even kill him! Come on Wally! Move! Move! _I screamed at myself inside my head. I saw the mother open her mouth in a scream and shift her weight as if she was about to throw herself on top of her son. I could see the boy's eyes widening as he registered something coming at him…

I was there, it was less than a foot from his face, I couldn't knock them out of the way at this speed without killing them and the woman had too heavy of a build for me to carry.

I could have used myself as a shield, but I might've accidentally run into one of the civilians in mid air… I did the only thing I could think of. I ran at the mother and son, grabbed the jump rope, and used the energy from my extremely high momentum to literally swing the two up into the air. I lost grip on the rope and they were suddenly ten feet in the air.

I felt something hit me in the legs but I ignored it, I was near the mother and son, using my arms to create a wind tunnel so I could cushion their fall. They were a few feet off of the ground when my senses went berserk. I lost grip on my powers and fell sideways onto the ground, tearing at my claves with my hands.

I heard the pair yelp in pain as they hit the ground, but it seemed distant. All that was relevant was the pain. I felt my gloves grow hot and hastily ripped them off. I saw something green on them.

_Acid. _I registered. _I got hit by the acid. _I rubbed random pieces of rubble against my burning legs, trying to scoop the acid off, trying to make the pain stop. I was vaguely aware of small yells of pain leaving my lips. It wasn't until I'd gotten most of the acid off that I was able to pay attention to my surroundings again.

The first thing I did was check the civilians. They were watching me in terror and the little boy was crying, but physically they looked fine.

Then I looked at Trickster. In normal time the whole ordeal that happened after he fired the gun took less than a minute so it was no surprise that he looked confused and unsure of what to do next, which I was grateful for because I knew that I wouldn't be able to dodge another attack just yet. There was a weird moment where no one did anything. Then the kid opened his mouth.

"You hurt Kid Flash! How could you?" he wailed.

_Shut up, kid! _I thought frantically

"Sam! Be quiet!" his mother hissed, terrified.

"No! He hurt Kid Flash! He's mean!" I tried to get up. I had to take down Trickster before he made a move to attack the civilians. I couldn't though. My legs were burning too badly and my muscles screamed in agony with every move.

Trickster blinked.

"Mean?" he asked confused. "It's supposed to be funny…"

"No, it's mean! You're mean!" Yelled the kid.

"Wait a minute you don't get it—" he took a step towards the kid and the woman screamed in fear.

"NOOO! Don't hurt my baby!" she yelled hysterically.

"What? I don't hurt kids" said Trickster surprised.

"You hurt Kid Flash!" argued the boy as his mother frantically told him to stop talking.

Trickster looked at me confused.

"But—But that's different…right?" he asked; now starting to look upset.

"You're not being funny, James" I gasped, trying to get my eyes to stop watering. "That acid almost blinded the little boy, it might have even killed him."

Trickster looked horrified.

"No, no, no, no! I didn't mean to!" Trickster dropped the gun and sat on the ground, gripping his hair in terror.

"I don't hurt kids, I don't want to! It was supposed to be funny!"

I took advantage of Trickster's meltdown to crawl over to the mother and son and untie them. The mother picked up her child and ran away. The child was shrieking about not leaving me alone with the bad guy as she hurried down the nearest alley.

"It was supposed to be funny" Trickster whimpered, rocking back and forth.

I sighed and sat up as much as I could, looking at the rogue that was sitting a few yards away. I relaxed a bit, relieved that I was dealing with Trickster's gentler side at the moment. I put on a kind tone as I tried to talk to the less-than-sane man.

"I know James, I know" I said, "but you messed up this time. I can't walk so good right now because your acid's really hurting me—" I was about to say 'So I need you to go turn yourself into the police' but I never got the chance.

"I have something to stop the burning!" said Trickster brightening up instantly. He pulled a vile out of his pocket and hurried towards me.

"No!" I said trying to back away. _Who knows what that stuff will do to me? _But James latched onto me and, opening the vile, he poured something into my wounds.

Pain exploded in both my legs and I screamed, clawing at the ground. Someone was holding me, trying to shush me. I couldn't see couldn't _think_ through the pain. Then, suddenly, it ended.

I was panting and there were tears running down my face as I leaned into whoever was holding me.

"Is that better?"

I looked up and realized that I was in the arms of Trickster. I would have struggled, but to be honest I didn't have the strength for that at the moment. Plus, the pain in my legs had been reduced to a mere throbbing sting. The burning had stopped.

"Y-Yea, thanks James." I said not sure if the pain of the chemicals reacting with each other was worth the end result or not.

There was an awkward pause, and then Trickster fidgeted.

"Are you going to visit me this time after I turn myself in?" asked Trickster.

I looked at the hopeful expression on his face.

"Only if you promise to _never ever_ use the slime gun again, are we clear?"

"Okay, I'll just use my snot gun."

I looked at him suspiciously.

"It reacts more harshly with inorganic compounds than with organic compounds, plus it takes a lot more of it to do any damage."

I sighed knowing that that was as good as I was going to get and called for Flash on my communicator.

**For those of you who track the dates that the show takes place during, google Young Justice Timeline, there's one out there that has the date that each episode takes place on and the year all the characters were born and when they stated fighting crime. I thought it was really cool and figured I'd share that little tidbit of information.**


	4. Chapter 4: Troubled

I spoke into my communicator.

"Hey Flash? I've got Trickster. We're down at the bottom of Fourth Street, can you come get me?"

"Come get you? Are you hurt?" he asked anxiously.

"Yea, my legs are…a bit banged up." I replied.

"Okay, I'm on my way" said my uncle.

A second later a red blur came at me and snatched me away from Trickster.

"James, what did you do?" he shouted, holding me like a damsel.

_I hate it when he does this._ I grumbled inside my head.

"My slime gun wasn't as funny as I thought it was" said Trickster sadly.

"But we talked about it" I said loudly, overriding whatever angry reply that was about to come out of Flash's mouth. "And it was agreed that he won't use the slime gun anymore."

"Yeah, no more" said Trickster nodding. Flash sighed; he looked like he wanted to give Trickster a good punch in the jaw, but he restrained himself. He still doesn't fully understand how I can be friends with someone who persistently tries (and succeeds) to maim me, but my relationship with James has saved our lives more than once so he doesn't complain…much.

The police came running up and James willingly went into custody, as usual.

Flash started running the moment as he was sure that the rogues were all secured. As soon as he started gathering speed the wind hit my wounds and I couldn't help but grit my teeth and grunt in pain. I closed my eyes and tightened my grip on my uncle's shoulders to prevent myself from throwing up.

"You okay, kid?" asked Flash anxiously.

I wasn't feeling up to speaking just then, so I just nodded into my uncle's chest. I felt stupid when my eyes watered slightly.

_Come on man, get a hold of yourself, you're not some twelve year old trainee anymore, _I scolded myself.

It felt like a really long time before we got to our destination, but when we finally made it Flash hurried me inside.

We were at his and Aunt Iris's house of course. Flash and I had learned long ago that my parents were pretty much useless in a crisis and were better off not knowing that I was injured until I was all patched up and semi-normal looking.

Aunt Iris was waiting on the couch as we got in, and she jumped up when she saw that her husband was carrying me.

"Iris, table" said Uncle Barry.

It was the typical drill. My aunt laid a clean sheet over the dining room table and held stroked my hair soothingly as my uncle poked and prodded at my wounds, obtaining samples. I was laying my stomach, letting my uncle work, though I couldn't stop my legs from twitching in pain as he examined the injuries.

I chocked out a report of what had happened in between my grunts of discomfort and uncle Barry went to run some tests, leaving me and my aunt alone in the dining room.

"How are you holding up, Wally?" asked my aunt.

"I'm good" I said at the same time my stomach gave a loud growl.

Aunt Iris giggled.

"I'll grab you something to eat."

"I can't eat right now" I said glumly.

"What?" asked my aunt in shock. "What's wrong? Are you sick? Did the acid make you nauseous? Are—"

"Aunt Iris, chill!" I said rolling my eyes. "It's nothing like that, I just can't eat right now because it'll stimulate my metabolism and my legs will start to heal. I can't afford for that to happen until I know they're clean and toxin-free."

"Oh." My aunt laughed at her own spastic reaction. "I forgot about that, hehe. I'm sorry Walls, but you have to admit you'd freak out too if you heard a speedster refusing food."

I laughed.

"That's very true" I said.

She patted my hair and pulled up one of the dining room chairs so she could be closer to my eye level.

"Well, injuries aside, are you going to tell me why your family was acting so strangely today?"

_Crap. _I thought. That wasn't a question about myself, I had to come up with an excuse for my entire family.

"You, uh, can't tell Uncle Barry" I said thinking quickly.

My aunt raised an eyebrow.

"Why not?" she asked.

"Because…" _Because the excuse I gave him will clash with the one I'm about to give you._ "Because it's embarrassing" I lied. This excuse was supported by the fact that I couldn't meet her eyes.

"You can tell me" said my aunt kindly. "I won't laugh."

"They—they're frustrated with me, with my powers. It's hard for them to keep the cupboards stocked with me around; I have trouble paying attention to them sometimes; I don't have a very good attention span and I leave messes everywhere and literally forget about them; I'm always getting up in the night because of my metabolism and I end up waking them up sometimes on accident."

It hurt to say all of this, not only because it was a fake excuse, but also because it was true. I knew I got on my parents' last nerve half the time. I knew I got on _everyone's_ last nerve half the time. It was just so hard for me to be tactful and polite when I'm constantly charged with so much energy, so much impatience.

The only time I could really slow down was in a crisis when I was able to relieve some of my energy. Everyone says I'm more mature during those times, but the truth is I'm just more myself.

My aunt squeezed my hand looking sympathetic

I felt so guilty for lying to her just then; I had to apologize, even if it wasn't for the right thing.

"I'm sorry, Aunt Iris, I know I can be a pain, but I appreciate that you're always so nice to me" I said sincerely.

My aunt glared at me.

"Don't talk about yourself like you're a chore to be around!" She leaned over and kissed my cheek. "You're amazing" she told me, smiling.

Guilt seemed to solidify in my gut and I wanted to tell her everything, but I couldn't. I just couldn't. All I could do was force myself to smile in return.

My Uncle Barry walked in at that moment, sparing me the effort of finding something to say.

"You're in the clear, kid!" said my uncle.

I gave a half-hearted cheer.

He gave my aunt a questioning look.

"He's just hungry" said my aunt, winking at me.  
>"Ill go and fix him a plate while you patch him up" she said, standing up.<p>

"Fix me one too, please!" called Uncle Barry as she left the room.

"Alright, kid, let's get you out of that costume so I can bandage your legs" the blonde said, turning to me. This turned out to be easier said then done.

It took a five minute battle with my suit, a ten minute war with the bandages and the disinfectant and a three minute wrestling match with my civilian clothes, before I was finally presentable.

"Wally, you dressed yet?" called my aunt from the kitchen.

"Yep!" I called as I pulled on a T-shirt.

She came out holding two giant plates stuffed with bacon, eggs, mashed potatoes, buiscuits, and leftover lasagna.

I stopped myself from drooling with difficulty.

"Have I ever told you how much I love you?" me and Uncle Barry said in perfect unison. We looked at each other in shock as my Aunt burst out laughing. She handed over our food and the two of us ate like fiends.

When were done my aunt asked:

"How about you stay the night Wally? I'll make up the guest room."

I hesitated. I _never_ turned down an invitation to spend time with my aunt and uncle. I typically preferred to be here at their house to being at home, and I just _knew_ it would look suspicious to go home after that little speech I gave Aunt Iris, but I had no choice. I had to turn them down.

"No thanks, it's not often that dad isn't on evening shift, I want to spend some time with him before he has to go to night shift" I said. _More like I want to make sure he's treating mom right. _I thought to myself.

"Oh, okay" said Uncle Barry. He and Aunt Iris looked surprised. Like I said, I _never_ say no to staying with them.

Aunt Iris frowned in confusion as my uncle picked me up and said he'd be back in a bit, then he took me to his car, and drove me home.

On the ride back I didn't talk much. I just made sure to ask my uncle Barry questions that would make him respond in some obnoxiously longwinded way and tuned him out to think over the evening.

We had just arrived my house and my uncle had carried me up to front door when the sound of shouting met our ears.

Uncle Barry stopped, looking confused. Normally he would have just gone in, but the angry noises gave him pause.

"No worries, Uncle Barry" was all I said as my finger pushed in the doorbell three times in rapid succession.

_Better give them a warning._

The yelling immediately ceased and my mom opened the door with a smile on her face. She looked like she'd just been crying, but when she saw me being held by my uncle she gasped.

"Wally?"

"Hey, Mary" said my Uncle uncertainly. "Uh, Wally got into a bit of an accident, his legs were wounded, but if he just takes out that old pair of crutches in his closet for the next week or so he should be fine" he said.

He glanced at my mom's puffy eyes again before he continued;

"Just write a note to his gym teacher saying that he's aggravated an old injury and he's too sore to walk right now. If that's not good enough for the school I'll take him to one of the league doctors tomorrow and have them write a note."

"You're sure he's alright?" asked my mom fretfully.

"He'll be fine, though just to be sure, I'm taking him off patrol for the rest of the week" said my uncle.

"Okay" said my mom. She glanced behind her before opening the door.

"Well, come in and set him down on the couch" she said.

My uncle took me into the empty living room and set me down. I was looking around for my dad and I could tell that Uncle Barry was too, but he was nowhere to be found.

The silence between us was extremely awkward until Flash asked,

"You need anything else, kid?"

"Nah, Uncle Barry, I'm good" I said smiling.

"Well then...I should probably get home" he said hesitantly.

I nodded firmly.

"Night Uncle Barry!" I said.

"Thank you Barry" said my mom with the same fake smile that she used earlier, I couldn't tell if my uncle caught that or not but I had a funny feeling that he had.

After we said good-bye and my uncle was out the door there was a moment's pause before my mother looked at me.

"I'll get you some dinner" she said quietly. Despite my worry I couldn't help but perk up at the promise of food. (I know I just ate but I have a crazy metabolism, shut up.)

I heard stairs creak after she left for the kitchen, and looked around I saw my dad come downstairs. His eyes were wild and bloodshot and his hands were shaking.

He stormed over to where I was and started yelling.

"How dare you act like that when your aunt and uncle were over? Do you _want _them to think we're lying, do you _want_ us to get caught? You want them to break up our family?" He grabbed me by the collar and shook me. My legs twitched and half a yell left my throat before I choked on my own pain and my muscles tightened.

"Rudy! Rudy, stop! He's injured!" my mom shrieked running into the room.

Dad dropped me and I curled against the couch, breathing deeply.

He glared down at me before turning away and marching out the door.

"I'm going out to grab something before work. I'll see you tomorrow" he grunted as he grabbed his keys.

He was out the door before I was even able to catch my breath.

Things went quiet again and I heard my mom moving around the kitchen. She came back with a plate piled high with what would normally be considered a ridiculous amount of food, but was a semi normal portion for me. She handed it over and sat down next to me.

I didn't eat though; I just looked at her.

She returned my gaze in silence for a moment, looking sad. Finally she sighed and said:

"He's tired Honey, he doesn't mean it. He's so mad at himself he doesn't know what else to do" she ran a hand through my hair.

I didn't say anything; I just looked away from her pleading gaze.

"Come on, Sweetie, he didn't hit you or anything. He wouldn't have even touched you if he had known that you were injured" she reasoned.

Still I didn't look at her. I honestly wasn't sure if what had just happened had been a big deal or not. Sure, he had hurt me, but like mom said, he hadn't known I was injured. On the other hand the way he had grabbed me…did it count as assault? It certainly was intimidating.

I felt my mom shift next to me.

"Come on, Wally, talk to me."

I turned to her and saw her rub her arm nervously. That's when I saw it.

My hand shot out and I gently pried mom's hand off of her bicep.

There it was… Or should I say there they were? Five finger shaped bruises formed a pattern on her arm.

Grip marks.

I stared up into my mom's face and she looked like a deer caught in headlights.

"Your arm…" I whispered.

"What? Oh these? They're—" I saw the look on her face as she tried to think of an excuse.

"Did he hurt you again?" I asked sharply.

"No, Wally, this is from yesterday" said my mother. Her voice wavered but her eyes hardened with something that looked like determination.

I narrowed my eyes at the marks, not entirely buying it.

"Is that the truth?" I asked quietly.

In that moment something inside my mom seemed to snap. She glared at me and started to rant.

"Wally you need to stop this. You're blowing things out of proportion and I will not tolerate your dramatics! Your attitude today when your aunt and uncle were here was unacceptable. Your father may not have handled things all that well but that doesn't change the fact that you undermined us both," said my mom. "I know you're worried, but I'm the adult here, not you. I know a lot more about the situation than you do, so stop making judgments that you have no basis for!" She was shouting by the end of her tirade and she was looking at me coldly.

I looked down in shame. Feeling my heart sink.

My mom stood up and snatched away my untouched plate of food, storming into the kitchen.

I stared after her for a moment, then I laid myself down on the couch and frowned at the wall, trying to sort everything out.

_Maybe I am overreacting_ I thought. _She says all the bruises are from one day. Just one day._ _Just because they were fighting tonight doesn't mean he beat her up. They usually shout, it's normal for them, so what reason do I have to point fingers? Yet again he did hit her…but mom says I don't know the full situation. _

Suddenly, a tidbit from the conversation I'd had with my mom came flooding back to me.

"_Is that the truth?" _I had asked, and after going over her rant in my mind I realized something scary. She had never given me an answer.

**Hey everyone! To those of you who have reviewed this story thank you so much! If anyone plans to leave a review for this chapter could you please give me feedback on the pacing? I'm trying not to rush things, but I don't want to drag things out. The last thing I want it to bore people. Anyway, let me know what you think! :)**


	5. Chapter 5: Priorities

Honestly? I thought that nothing _else_ would go wrong that night, what with dad on night shift from eleven at night until seven in the morning, what with the fact that I was already injured, my aunt and uncle were already suspicious and my mom was already mad at me. I _honestly_ thought that I could just go upstairs to bed and deal with everything after I'd gotten a proper night's sleep….

I'm** honestly **a complete idiot for being so optimistic.

It was two in the morning when I heard the crash, and the yelling.

I sat up groggily.

"Rudy?" I heard my mom call sleepily from her and dad's bedroom.

I heard dad cursing from downstairs and heard mom open her door and move down the hall. I moved too, grabbing my crutches and getting out of bed, wondering _what _my dad was doing at home when he was supposed to be on night shift at work. I moved quietly, not wanting my parents to know that I was awake.

If I could observe them without being seen, then I could find out once and for all whether or not dad hurting mom was a one-time thing.

I slipped into the hall and heard my mom.

"It's okay Rudy, we'll fix it."

"No, it's ruined, it's ruined."

I listened to the voice of my dad. It sounded off. I couldn't put my finger on it but there was something strange going on with his voice.

"Rudy, it's fine we'll—"

"Shut up!" I heard a thud and a gasp and I took off down the hall on my crutches. I reached the stairs and looked over the railing, trying to locate my parents.

Mom and dad were standing a few feet apart. I couldn't tell what had caused the thud, but I didn't like the frightened look in my mom's eyes.

I tried to get a better look at them without being seen, but just then my crutch snagged on a stair and I felt myself tumbling downwards.

_Reflexes _I decided later _are a pain._ Why do I say this? Well, I say this because the arm that I had broken during the fight against the Injustice Society was what I instinctively flung out to break my fall. I felt pain shoot up my arm as I hit the first step, and I as continued to roll down the stairs it jostled which made it hurt worse.

By the time I reached the bottom, I was lying on the ground, dazed with pain. My crutches landed next to me and I groaned.

My mom ran over to me.

"Wally! Are you alright?" she asked.

I thought about this a moment, and tried to move my arm. The nerves screamed at me and I grimaced.

"I think I just re-broke my arm" I said to my mom conversationally, because honestly I was too beat up to really put any emotion into the statement.

My mom looked at my arm, which was already swelling up, and sighed.

"Rudy, can you call Barry?"

"Don't tell me what to do!" my dad roared.

Mom and me stared at him and he glared.

"Rudy, Wally broke his arm" Mom said slowly.

"Yea, well the T.V. is broken!" said dad pointing to what I just now noticed was our newly destroyed television set. It looked like dad had punched a hole in the screen.

Mom stared at him blankly.

"…if you go upstairs to bed like a good boy, I'll call someone to fix the television, okay?" said my mom carefully. She sounded like she was trying to reason with a five year old. What was even more surprising was when my dad complied.

"Fine, but that television had better be fixed by the time I wake up tomorrow," he yelled and, stepping over me like I wasn't there, he walked up the stairs. I noticed that his eyes were red, like they were yesterday night, and his hands were shaking.

I stared at my mom.

"He's uh…" she couldn't seem to find an excuse. Instead, she just helped me sit up and went to go call my uncle. After she was done she hurriedly took our broken television and hid it in a closet.

When my uncle arrived he took me took one look at my arm and said bluntly.  
>"Yep, that's definitely broken, we'll need to zeta to the cave and get some x-rays of the bone" my uncle looked at me sympathetically. "Tonight just isn't your night is it?" he asked sympathetically.<p>

"No. It really isn't" I growled.

Uncle Barry patted my shoulder and moved to help me up.

"I got him," said my mom, "can you grab his crutches.

I shot my mom a confused look as my uncle went to get my crutches.

She didn't say anything, at least not until she got me to the car. When Uncle Barry was putting my crutches in his trunk.

She suddenly pulled me into a hug.

"Don't you dare say a word about your father" she hissed in my ear.

I stepped away from her, shocked.

"Feel better, Baby. I'll wait up until you get back" she said, loudly, in her best, concerned mother voice. I turned, confused, and realized my uncle had closed the trunk and was watching us.

"Uh, yea, bye" I said quietly. Without another word I stepped into the car. My uncle joined me and I watched her through the window as my uncle drove towards the place where the zeta beam was located.

I saw my uncle look at me out of the corner of my eye.

"You okay, kid? You look a little pale."

"Yea, just frustrated. Do you have any idea how much Artemis will tease me when she finds out I re-broke my arm falling down a flight of stairs?" I said putting all the proper emotion into my tone.

_When did it become so easy to lie to Uncle Barry? Seriously, I've been at this for like, a day, and I'm already a master at it. _I sighed inwardly.

_Guess that's what happens when you spend years hiding a secret identity. I just never thought I had it in me to transfer that skill to something like…this._

"I know kid, but cheer up, it's not like you'd have been able to go on missions for this week anyway, what with how your legs are, and who knows? Maybe it's only a minor fracture" said my uncle.

"Yea, maybe" I said trying to sound optimistic.

My uncle looked for a change in subject.

"Hey, I noticed your television was missing, what's up with that?"

"Uh…it's in the shop…problem with the—the screen" I said, managing to make my hesitation sound like I was just trying to remember what was wrong with it.

"What was so wrong with it that you couldn't fix?" my uncle asked curiously.

"I don't know; Dad took it in today. He said it wasn't working right, but he said he didn't want me to electrocute myself trying to fix it."

Uncle Barry laughed, because that sounded like something my dad _would _say, or something he _would _have said, before he got all 'weird'.

It really hurt to know that Dad was more concerned about the broken television than my broken arm, but at the same time I knew that there was more too it. Why had his eyes been so red? Why were his hands shaking so bad? I cast around for some sort of reason behind it, but I couldn't find one.

My uncle changed into his Flash costume in the alleyway outside the zeta beam and scooped me up and into the zeta beam.

When we arrived in the cave my uncle carried me straight to the infirmary. I felt like my uncle had spend half the night carrying me places, and I knew I was no fairy princess in terms of weight, but he never complained. My own dad grumbled when he had to give me a piggy-back ride upstairs the last time I had been unable to walk.

My uncle didn't even show any sign of annoyance at the fact that he had been woken up at two in the morning to come and get me. He gets so little sleep as it is, and yet I haven't heard one complaint. I know my parents would have whined about it all night and the next day. They wouldn't have been blatant about it of course, but they would have made little 'jokes' or remarks that felt almost as if they were designed to make me feel bad.

_I wish Uncle Barry were my dad._ I shook my head at the thought. _How dare I think that? Dad's done everything for me and Mom! He took on evening shift so he could earn that promotion that made things easier for our family! He taught me to ride a bike, gave me advice for my first date. He convinced Mom to let me be Kid Flash! _

_He may be a jerk at the moment, but how can I wish for a different father? And all because my dad complains a little more? I complain all the time! I'm probably the worst person to be around when the going gets tough because I never stop whining! I'm such a jerk!_

My uncle entered the x-ray and walked towards a chair.

As soon as he set me down we heard footsteps.

"Flash, Kid Flash, what brings you to the cave so late?" asked Red Tornado.

"Kid here fell down on his crutches and broke his arm" said my uncle ruffling my hair.

"That is most unfortunate" said Tornado.

"Yea, you think you could help us with the x-rays?" asked my uncle.

"Certainly" said Red Tornado.

Uncle Barry and Red tornado helped me position my arm on the table.

"Just hold still, kid, you know the drill, hold completely still; we'll be right back."

The two left the room to go and run the x-ray machine leaving me alone.

In the quiet.

For five minutes.

I was alone for five minutes.

Five minutes is a lot of time to think.

I found myself going over what had happened before my Uncle Barry came.

_Dad was acting weird about my broken arm. His eyes were red and his hands were shaking and mom sent him to bed and…mom sent him to bed. I left Mom alone with Dad. Dad's not supposed to be home right now but he is and he just punched a hole in the T.V. and…_

My heart began to pound. It felt like I was running. I wanted to run. I wanted so desperately to just run home as fast as I could and run and run and run.

_He said she needed to have the television fixed by the time he woke up, but how long would that be? Minutes? Hours? Either way there were no tech stores open this time of night, no one who could fix our television by the weekend let alone the morning._

I had to breathe, had to breathe faster to keep up with my heart. Wait, no, I had to suppress it, my uncle couldn't find out about this, he couldn't know. I tried to control my breathing, but it made me feel like I was choking, suffocating.

_Oh no, on no. I have to get home. I have to get home, now! But I can't walk and I can't tell Uncle Barry because mom told me not to and I don't know if Dad hurt mom more than just the one time and…What if he hurts her? Why didn't I think of this before? Why didn't I make her wait until morning to call my uncle? Why am I so stupid? I'm so stupid!_

"Wally?" asked a voice from the door.

I jumped and gave a tiny shout. Looking around I saw M'gann in the doorway. She looked worried.

_Crap! Why is she up? She's not supposed to be here and, oh man, I'm must look all pale and freaked out. She's not supposed to see me like this; no one's supposed to see me like this! I'm a wreck!_

"H-Hey, Beautiful" I said, a smile twisting onto my face. I probably look like the Joker right about now, but the flirting felt good, normal. My smile relaxed a little and I glanced her outfit "Cute pajamas" I said, nodding at the knee-length pink nightgown she was wearing. "Though I have to wonder why you aren't getting your beauty sleep right about now, not that you could be any more gorgeous" I said, winking at her.

"I, um, sensed your presence" she said quietly.

I knew what she meant by that. She had felt my fear. I bit my lip.

"Woah, really? That's awesome, it's like we have some psychic bond! I guess it's cuz our minds are so… in tune" I said wiggling my eyebrows suggestively, trying to cover up how nervous I was.

"I sensed…" M'gann hesitated and I beamed at her, knowing exactly what she was going to say and not wanting to give her any incentive to say it.

"Well, never mind, I must have read it wrong. Um, I thought your arm was fixed" she said, changing the subject and gesturing at my swollen arm.

I did a mini victory dance on the inside at my successful deflection and let myself relax. There was no danger in this conversation, so I was free to be a little more myself.

"Yeah, well, my legs got injured during a fight with Trickster" I was rescuing this little kid and his mom" I said, bragging a little. "Anyway, one of my crutches snagged as I was…um rescuing a kitten from a flaming tree—" this lie was caught by my uncle as he came into the room.

"He fell down the stairs" said my uncle bluntly.

"Uncle _Barry_" I moaned and M'gann giggled.

"But yea, I might have fallen down a flight of stairs and broken my arm while I was rescuing that kitten from the flaming tree" I said. M'gann and my uncle rolled their eyes.

My expression fell a little.

"I won't be going on missions for a while longer though" I said.

_What a bummer. _I thought. "I'm sorry to keep holding everyone up."

"Oh, don't worry Wally! My Uncle's been working on a training exercise with Batman. They were thinking of doing it next weekend, but since you're injured I can ask him if we can do it this weekend!" she said cheerfully

"Wally can't do anything physical," said my uncle, sounding overprotective (as usual.)

"Oh, he won't need to do anything. Uncle J'onn said it's like a virtual reality exercise. He's been working out the details with Batman and they finally got everything set a few days ago. He told me when he took me out for ice cream after school yesterday" said M'gann.

"Virtual reality, huh? Sounds like one of those high tech video games" said my uncle smirking. "This'll be right up your alley, Wally."

I grinned. "Yeah it probably will be.

"Why are you here so late" asked an annoyed voice from the doorway. It was Superboy and he looked like he'd been dragged out of a deep sleep. _Probably heard us with his super hearing and came to investigate._ I thought.

Superboy slipped past Red Tornado, who was observing our conversation from the hall and stood next to M'gann.

"You're injured again." It was a flat statement, as if he was talking about the fact that there were clouds in the sky.

"Yep" I said bluntly. Superboy seemed to contemplate this. "You should be more careful," he said, and with that he turned around and walked away.

_Wow. That was almost friendly._

"Night, Supey!" I called after him cheerfully.

Superboy didn't reply.

M'gann excused herself to go to bed too, saying she had school in the morning. I winced when I remembered that I had school too.

Things were a little fuzzy after that. My Uncle and Red Tornado had given me massive amounts of painkillers so Red Tornado could reset the bone in my arm. They always go the heavy route on meds with me because I tend to metabolize them so fast. They don't want the effects to wear off mid-procedure. I guess I my metabolism wasn't so quick tonight because I was still feeling the effects of the meds as Uncle Barry carried me from the zeta beam exit to the car.

He had changed back into his civies and seemed to be highly amused at the moment.

"And, Uncle Barry, my lab partner is sooo hot this year! Did I tell you 'bout her? Her names Melly—or Kelly? No! it was Melony!" I remembered, my voice slurring slightly as I said this.

"That's great kid" said my uncle trying not to laugh.

"Yeah!" I said with a grin.

"So you're feeling better then, about Superboy and Miss Martian?"

"Huh?" I asked dumbly.

"Conner and M'gann. You seemed really bummed out about that earlier."

"Bummed about what?" I asked. It was hard to see what the man was getting at when my head was as clouded as milk, and my thoughts were moving at the pace of a sloth.

"You said they were dating earlier, and you were really bummed."

"Oh, right, yea" I rubbed my eyes and groaned.

"I'm tired Uncle Barry" I moaned.

"I know, Kid, you're almost home."

"I don't wanna go home" I mumbled, unaware of what I was saying.

"Why not?" asked my uncle, looking surprised.

"Why what?" I asked sleepily, losing track of the conversation and closing my eyes.

"Why don't you want to go home?"

My eyes snapped open.

"I didn't say that!" I said, now panicking slightly.

"Yes, you did," he replied.

"No, no I didn't I want to go home" I said firmly.

"Okay" said Uncle Barry slowly…"You, doing okay?" he asked looking at me.

"Peachy" I muttered.

"Peachy?" snickered my uncle.

"Mmmm…" I said sleepily.

"I can't believe you just used the word 'peachy,'" my uncle said, chuckling.

"I didn't" I moaned.

"I'm pretty sure you did, Wally" my teased.

I considered this.

"You'll never prove it." I replied.

My uncle laughed.

I smiled and allowed the sound to lull me to sleep.

**Yeah, I wasn't originally planning on Wally's arm breaking but I had been writing under the assumption that he was in full health. This was, of course, before I realized he was still wearing a cast in Failsafe and Disordered (which is relevant because I'm incorporating Failsafe into the next chapter), so I just broke it again. Poor Wally, this just isn't his week! Anyway, I want to say thanks to my reviewers before I go, I love hearing your input!**


	6. Chapter 6: Liar

**Hey everyone! I know I told a couple of readers that I meant to update within the week...that was over a month ago. I'm really sorry about that. This chapter was hard to write and hopefully it turned out okay. Anyway, Happy Holidays! **

"Wally!"

A firm hand was on my shoulder, pushing at it insistently.

"Hmm?" I asked sleepily.

"Wake up, I need your help."

I opened my eyes and saw that I was on the couch and my mom was standing over me.

"You're not going to school today," mom said cutting straight to the point.

"Really?" I asked, excitedly, feeling a bit more awake.

"Yes, but I need you to get up. I need to go to work, so I'm leaving you to hook up the new television," she said pointing at a big box next to the TV stand.

"You bought a new television?" I asked in disbelief.

"Yes, you need to set it up before your father wakes up."

"Where did you get a television in the middle of the night?" I asked.

"I also need you to put the box and the receipt in the closet when you're done. I wasn't sure about the brand, so I want to be able to take it back if necessary," said my mom, ignoring my questions.

"It looks kinda like our old one," I said, looking at the box.

"Are you even listening to me?" asked my mom in exasperation.

"Yea, yea, no school, box in closet set up television before dad wakes and freaks out, _again,_" I said rolling my eyes.

"Wallace!" mom exclaimed, glaring.

I sighed and looked into my mom eyes. It suddenly noticed the bags under her eyes and I realized that between my injury and getting a television from no-idea-where, she must not have slept all night.

"Maybe you should go in late today mom," I suggested, putting an end to the awkward silence that had crept into the air.

"Why?" asked my mom through a yawn.

"So you can get some sleep, you look like you haven't slept in days."

My mom looked longingly towards the stairs, no doubt thinking of her nice, warm, bed, but she shook it off.

"I can't afford to take time off right now."

"But—" I started before mom cut me off

"I do need to ask you about something before I go though" she said.

"What?" I asked, not liking the change in subject, but I knew that she wouldn't allow that line of conversation to continue.

"What exactly did you say to your uncle last night?"

"Huh? What do you mean," I asked, confused.

"Your uncle was acting funny when he dropped you off. He seemed to know something.

"I didn't say anything to him about…" I trailed off as a memory suddenly came to me.

"_I don't want to go home." _I had said. I remembered that, but what was his reply to that? What did I say before, or after? I tried to remember, but the details of our conversation were foggy. I remembered being sleepy and giggly from the heavy dose of medication, but I didn't remember how I got from the car to the house, let alone what I had _said_.

"Wally," said my mother warningly, "What did you say to him?"

"Nothing really, I was…he just heard you and dad yelling earlier tonight. No big deal, he…" I lied. _Did he say anything about it? No idea. I can't tell mom that though, she'll flip, and she's been through enough lately without the extra worry._

_Whatever, I'll just lie…again. Ugh, this is beginning to feel like a habit._

"He just asked if everything was okay and I told him that it was fine. I think he was just worried about me in general, it doesn't have anything to do with you and dad I just…have been having a hard time with the team lately too."

_Wow Wally, nice excuse, good luck getting her to let you go to Mt. Justice, _"but it's getting better!" I added quickly. "I just think we all need to gel a little more as a team. I told Uncle Barry that too, he believed me, so no worries."

Mom looked relieved, "Oh so he thinks it's just a team issue, that's good," she said, giving me a grateful look as she squeezed my shoulder. "Well, I need to get going or else I'll be late." Mom kissed my cheek and left. I watched her go feeling a little distressed.

The moment she left I started to set up the television.

I found the receipt and grinned. _Walmart, of course. Should have figured that one out. Who else sells televisions in the middle of the night?_

My tiny victory only gave me a moment's amusement before it faded away. My smile drooped like a hound dog's ears and my mind returned to the problem at hand, setting up the television. If mom was frightened enough to go and buy it in the middle of the night…Well, I was determined to get it done as fast as possible, I tried really hard to ignore the fact that my arm and legs were aching and my stomach was yelling at me for not feeding it.

I pulled the television out of the box and started thinking about the evening from beginning to end, trying to fill in the blanks.

I remembered M'gann waking up. I had no idea she could sense emotions as well as read minds. Or maybe it's just extreme emotions.

_Man, must be hard to keep a secret on Mars with people in your head all the time. Speaking of secrets_, _I hope M'gann didn't say anything to Superboy about what she sensed from me. I know she didn't have time to tell Uncle Barry anything. _

I fiddled with a wire behind the television, trying to disentangle it from the others. The cast on my right hand was _not_ helping me with my motor skills at the moment.

_Yet again, Uncle Barry doesn't typically ask someone personal questions while their judgment is impaired._

I took a deep breath and rested my forehead against the wall.

_What was his reply when I said I didn't want to go home? What did I say back to him? _

I thought hard but all I could think of were peaches.

_I said something about peaches and we were laughing, but what does that have to do with anything? What did I say to him?_

I tried to focus, my stomach churning with anxiety. The situation was bad enough, without a piece of my memory going M.I.A.

I was trying to think of what had happened. I could feel the content of the conversation at the edge of my mind the way a person could feel a word on the tip of their tongue.

I tried to remember but it I couldn't. After the television was set up I dragged myself around the house on the crutches that had been left by the couch, trying to recall the conversation.

In the end I gave up and did some school assignments that I knew I wouldn't have time for later. I wished I could just skip my homework completely, but the threat of zeroes and after school detention thwarted this urge.

I struggled with one of my more tedious assignments, it would be a lot easier to concentrate without all the noise coming from outside. The neighborhood kids who only went to afternoon kindergarten were having a blast in front of the house next to mine. From the sound of it they were jumping rope. Nursery rhymes were shouted gleefully as they jumped and I couldn't help but smile a little. Their laughter was infectious.

The smile slid right off my face though as the next rhyme pierced the air.

"Liar, Liar, Pants on Fire! Hanging by your tongue from a telephone wire!"

I grimaced guiltily as they repeated the rhyme.

_Seriously? I just _happen _to be around when they chant that rhyme? I feel bad enough without fate mocking me. And no, I'm not talking about Dr. Fate, though I'm sure he'd enjoy mocking me as well. _

I gritted my teeth as the kids giggled at the words of the song and I continued my homework, wishing that lies could be as simple as a nursery rhyme for me as well.

It was past lunchtime when dad finally came downstairs. He entered the living room and I looked up at him, not sure what to expect.

"Hey Wall-man," he said with a sleepy yawn, looking at me. He frowned slightly.

"What happened to you?" he asked looking concerned.

I stared at him.

_What?_

"You—don't remember?" I asked slowly.

He looked confused for a minute before something seemed to click in his mind.

"Oh, right," said Dad. "Forgot you were injured. I didn't know that yesterday though, so you can't really blame me for…I mean when I shook you. Well that sounds bad, but it wouldn't of hurt if you hadn't been injured, but you were injured…"

He was rambling. I guess he's where I get it from, that awkward rambling that spills out of your mouth when you don't know what else to do. I never hear dad ramble though, not unless he feels really bad.

"Are you okay?" he asked. There he sat, looking so _concerned_ so _sincere_ the way he had when we were in the car together.

I frowned at him.

"Uh, yea," I said glaring at him a little.

My dad looked me up and down.

"You re-break your arm?" he asked in surprise, looking at the new cast.

"Yeah, when I fell down the stairs last night," I said. Anger bubbled within me.

"When did you fall down the stairs?" asked my dad.

"You were there!" I exclaimed, glaring at him fiercely. My heart was pounding and my muscles were tense.

"Don't take that tone with me!" my dad snarled, leaning forward, matching my aggression on instinct, the way he always had. The thing was though; he never went beyond simple intimidation before, but now...

I leaned back without really meaning to, I felt a chill and knew my face had gone pale.

_I-I'm afraid. _I realized as his eyes glared into mine.

Before I had been mostly scared for my mother, but now I was a little scared for myself as well_. I could dodge his hits with super speed and probably knock him out with my good hand, but if he were to take me by surprise…_

Two hands suddenly grabbed my shoulders.

I could feel my teeth grinding against each other as my heart sped up. My hands curled into fists, and my messed up legs poised themselves to run. Suddenly though, I was pulled into a forceful hug.

I almost punched him. It was only my hyper-accelerated thinking that had stopped me from outright decking the man on reflex. I felt his arms wrap around me, heard him sigh. I resisted the urge to shove him away from me and pressed my teeth together even harder, completely tense from head to toe.

_What the—What just happened? Why is he hugging me? _

"I'm sorry Wal-man," said my dad with a sigh. "I haven't been doing too good lately. I'm trying to make things better, but it's hard, you know? I don't want to hurt you or your mom, and I don't mean to—to loose myself. I talked to your mom about it and we're working on it, really we are. I just need you to be a little patient for us. Please?" He sounded desperate.

I felt trapped, upset, confused. He was hugging me now, but he hurt my mom before, and he had hurt me as well. He did those things and he broke the television and scared my mom so much that she felt the need to go out and buy a new one in the middle of night.

How could he? How could he act like that and then think it's okay to just say he'll fix things. Both him and mom seem to think that everything will be okay if I just help them keep up their little façade, but I had only been at this for a little over a day and I'd already lied to Uncle Barry, Aunt Iris, and Miss Martian. They were supposed to be the ones I trusted, the people I could go to with things that I was forced to hide from the rest of the world because of my 'secret identity.' How many other people will I have to lie to?

He was still hugging me; his grip had even tightened a little. I guessed he was trying to play the 'caring father' card. I felt a weird mix of confusion, panic, and anger that made me want to scream and thrash in his arms.

_I can't do that though. He's my dad. I can't hurt him, can't move, can't shove him away. That would be wrong. I'm stronger than this, stronger than him. But he needs to let me go…Oh, man, I just wanna run, I don't want to be here._

I choked on my own breath. I felt like I was suffocating within his grasp. I said the only thing I could think of that would get him away from me.

"O-Okay?"

_Why did I do that?_

My dad pulled back and smiled at me.

I felt like I could breath again and the fear was gone, there was only anger now.

_Why did I give in again?_

I looked my dad up and down from the grateful smile on his face to the short sleeve shirt and old worn jeans and his bare arms covered in…covered in…

_What are those? How did those get there? No. No. It's not possible, no. It's just not. _I felt dizzy.

"Thank you son," he said, not noticing what I was looking at.

I didn't reply. I didn't have the breath or the presence of mind to respond. Dad stood up and went into the kitchen; he said something but I didn't really hear it. I was too focused on what I had seen on his arms, the small trail of pinpricks that ran up and down the inside of them. I had seen that trail before. On people I've handed over to the police, on people I'd wrangled information from. I stared at the wall blankly.

_He's my dad. He wouldn't do that, he wouldn't! But…but it would explain everything._

I sat there blankly until he came back to the living room with a plate of food for me.

"Eat up, Wall-man," he said, before digging into his own lunch.

It was funny, that nickname used to make me feel so cool, now it just makes me want to punch something.

I forced myself to eat the plate of food he gave me. I couldn't remember a time since gaining my powers when food had seemed so revolting to me. I set the plate down as soon as I had taken the last bite and dragged myself to my feet. The nerve endings in my legs were going crazy with pain; I could feel my wounds reopening. I didn't really care though; I was in no mood to move slowly and mind my injuries, I just wanted to get away.

"Where are you going?" asked my dad, as I reached for my crutches, "I thought you were watching this with me. " He gestured to the television; I had barely even realized that he'd turned it on.

"Need to change my bandages," I grunted, heading towards the stairs.

"Do you need me to help?" asked dad.

"Nope, I'm good," I said bluntly.

"You sure? I don't want you falling down the stairs."

_Oh, so _now_ he cares if I fall down the stairs. Well isn't that dandy? Great, really nice, Dad._

"No worries, my legs are doing a lot better than they were yesterday," I lied, just wanting to get rid of him.

"Okay then," said my Dad.

I went upstairs and took my sweet old time cleaning and rewrapping my wounds. It was my third bandage change of the day, as a speedster I needed to switch out bandages pretty often so they wouldn't stick to the wounds.

When I had finished I sat on the edge of the bathtub, waiting for dad to leave for work. I heard him moving around and perked up hopefully each time I heard the sound of a door close and slumped in annoyance when I heard footsteps or a sneeze afterwards.

Twenty minutes passed before there was a sudden knock on the door.

"Uh, yea?" I asked, hoping dad was just telling me that he was leaving.

"Hey, Wally, it's me."

I knew the voice of my uncle instantly.

"Uncle Barry?" I asked, more for formality's sake than anything else.

"Yep. Iris texted Mary and found out she'd kept you home from school today. You okay?" he asked from the other side of the closed door.

"Yes," I said, feeling a strong urge to rip the shower curtain off its rings and hide under it for a few hours.

_Why can't everyone just leave me alone? I'm confused enough as it is without having pull cover stories out of my sleeve._

My uncle spoke again, but his voice had lost its easygoing tone.

"You don't sound okay. You know, I caught your dad just as he was leaving for work. He said that you've been in there changing your bandages for around half an hour."

"I'm fine, I just had a little trouble with the bandages," I lied…again. _Wow, this really is becoming a habit. I don't like this at all._

"Trouble? I'll need to have a look then, can I come in?"

_Crap! _I hastily rolled up my left pant leg, ripped the tape off of the end of the bandage and unraveled it, so it would look like I really _had_ been having trouble.

"Wally?" asked my uncle.

"I said you could come in!" I lied, trying to manipulate my uncle to thinking that the awkward silence was caused by an unheard response.

My uncle entered the bathroom wearing his work clothes; he must have just finished his police cases for the day. I was sitting on the edge of the bathtub and he plopped down in front of me to look at my leg, which was surrounded by slightly bloody bandages.

"I kept trying to wind them around, but they were either too tight or too loose, it's hard to do left handed," I said with a fake-embarrassed grin.

"Well, lets throw this set out and try again," said my uncle as he disposed of the material. He looked around.

"Where's the first-aid kit?"

"Uh…cabinet," I said suddenly realizing my mistake.

My uncle gave me a strange look.

"What are they doing in the cabinet if you're still wrapping your wound?" he asked.

"I, uh, put them away when I heard the knock on the door. I thought you might be dad coming in for a shower." I came up with this statement after frantically hyper accelerating my thoughts and generating excuses until I found a good one.

"Okayyy," said my uncle looking at me funny. I realized I must've done something in super speed that tipped him off to my quick thinking. I probably moved my eyes around the room too fast or something.

He decided not to say anything further and examined the wound closely.

"Well, you're healing up fairly quickly, compared to your normal pace. Maybe it has to do with the antidote Trickster gave you."

I nodded excitedly, and I didn't have to fake happiness this time. He'd just given me the best news I'd heard all day.

He gave me a sympathetic grin and said, "I will need to look at your other leg though, just to be sure that you're in good shape."

I cheered inside my head. _Finally! Something I can react to and actually sound normal!_

"But Uncle Barrryyy!" I whined. "It took me _forever_ to do that leg!"

"I know kid, but if you get an infection it'll take you even longer to recover!"

I sighed dramatically and held out my right leg for him to look at. Uncle Barry looked the wound over carefully, then he pulled the first-aid kit back out of the cabinet and started patching me up again. I winced as he took out the disinfectant, but I didn't complain. I couldn't just automatically burn away infection the way Uncle Barry could. _Another thing he can do that I can't,_ I thought, feeling suddenly depressed.

"So," said my uncle, as he worked, "what's up?"

"Nothing much, you?" I asked.

"Same," he said in a relaxed tone. "We didn't have as many cases as we normally do at work, it's been pretty laidback. What did you do today?" asked my uncle.

"Oh, uh, just hung out, watched a little television," I said honestly. _Wow a sentence that's not a lie. You must be so proud of yourself Wally_. I said sarcastically to myself.

"I thought you said your television was in the shop," said my uncle.

My face turned bright red in nervousness.

"Uh, I thought it was but I guess I misheard dad. The old one was beyond repair, so he picked up a new one after his shift," I said with a slight cough. "Hey, did you know the Walmart on Cherry Street sells televisions in the middle of the night?" I said changing the subject.

My uncle finished re-wrapping my right leg and moved on to my left.

"Yes, I did," Uncle Barry said with a laugh, though he was watching me with a closer eye than before "I'm surprised you didn't know that, don't you always go to Walmart at random times?"

"Just to the food section," I said in in a tone that screamed 'duh.'

Uncle Barry rolled his eyes. "Batman was right, you really _do _lose track of your surroundings when you're around food."

"Hey!" I groused, offended.

My uncle ignored me and finished patching me up and putting away the medical supplies.

He turned around and held out a hand to help me stand.

My legs shook a little; still sore from the rough treatment I'd given them earlier.

"Careful," said Uncle Barry as he steadied me. "C'mon, let's get you to your room."

Uncle Barry helped me limp down the hall and he sat me down on my bed.

I didn't realize it was a trap until he sat down next to me and leaned on his hands with a lazy look on his face.

I looked at him nervously. I was wondering if he'd caught one of my lies just now, or if he was thinking of something I told him last night that I can't remember.

"Did you know," asked Uncle Barry in a relaxed tone, "that you've got this little nervous tic?"

I stiffened up a little, and looked away.

"Just like that," said my uncle. "You always move your bottom lip under your teeth, like you want to bite it, but you always stop yourself."

_What? I don't do that…do I? _

Unconsciously I slid my bottom lip under my teeth. I suddenly realized what I was doing and clamped my jaws together, embarrassment creeping onto my face in the form of a slight blush. 

_How did he notice that? _I_ didn't even notice that. It'd take a bat to notice something like…I'm going to kill Robin for not warning me about it._

"You're much better than you used to be. You used to chew your lip all the time before you started fighting crime, but you forced yourself to stop when Batman said you had to start practicing your poker face. Still, you never completely kicked the habit did you?" he asked shrewdly.

I resisted the urge to bite my lip again. I always forgot about how well trained my uncle was in the art of observation until I was trying to hide something from him.

"Don't worry though," said my uncle sarcastically "it's not something you do _all_ the time, just when you're really, really, stressed out."

"Sorry, it's just between the injuries, and Conner and M'gann, I just…"

"Don't be stupid, Wallace," said my Uncle coldly.

I flinched; he _never_ uses my full name.

"I saw you talking to them. You didn't so much as grimace after seeing them standing next to each other, you were downright cheerful around Superboy, and I heard the way you were boasting to M'gann. You've known about the two of them for a lot longer than you let on, haven't you?" he asked, watching my facial expression.

I had to clamp my jaws shut again to refrain from biting my lip.

Uncle Barry spoke again, after the little pause.

"Now cut the crap and tell me why your family has been so tense around me and Iris and why you insisted on going back to see your parents last night. You always stay with me and Iris when we offer, yet you refused it only to tell me later that night that you didn't want to go home. What is going on?"

I felt the blood leave my face.

"What—uh" I was whispering but it seemed so loud to me, like I was shouting. "What else did I say after that?" I felt the silence after that creep into me.

"You don't remember?" asked my uncle.

"No, I don't, I was…too fuzzy after those meds. Why? Did I say something bad?"

Uncle Barry looked at me, a little harshly.

"Why should I tell you, huh? So you can use it to make your latest _lie _more believable?" he asked.

The amount of venom in his voice hit me like a slap in the face, my eyes started to get a little watery. I hastily stopped blinking, allowing the air to hit my eyes and dry up the extra fluid. _So now you're a crybaby too? You really are worthless. _ I told myself hatefully.

I knew I couldn't think using super speed without him catching me. When my mind speeds up, so does my body. I'd been foolish to try it back in the bathroom. I let the silence stretch in real time, thinking hard.

_I should tell him! I need to tell someone because I don't know what I'm doing! But Mom said not to tell. It's not just my secret; it involves my parents too. This could ruin us. If this gets out…I could lose my dad…or, or…_

I felt a chill run down my spine

_Or I could be removed from my parents' custody if things get really bad. I can't tell, I don't even know for sure if Dad's taking… No, I can't say anything. I don't know anything for sure and I'm not about to rip apart my family over a hunch._

I closed my eyes and clenched my fists.

_Yes, my family is messed up. Yes they sometimes fight more often than they get along, but they're mine! Besides, I told Mom I'd keep my mouth shut. She said it was a one-time thing. I'll give her the benefit of the doubt. I'll protect her secret for now even…even if I have to keep telling these horrible lies._

"It's not something I should talk about," I said running my hand through my hair. I took a deep breath and the biggest lie yet tumbled from my mouth.

"My folks are really upset with me. They won't say it, but I can tell. My parents didn't tell you this, but mom had to go to the emergency room after I hit her with that baseball. She was knocked out and me and dad had to carry her to the car."

_Liar_

"We thought she had a concussion, or a fractured bone in her face, but she didn't, luckily."

"Thing is the reason I was outside in the first place is because my parents had just yelled at me. You see, I tripped in super speed and knocked the television onto the floor. It didn't turn on after that. They were furious. I went outside. I couldn't leave the yard because my parents grounded me from anything not superhero related. That's why I didn't stay over at your house."

_Liar_

"My parents left the broken television on the stand, that's the one you saw when you and Aunt Iris dropped in. Then later, when you dropped me off last night, you heard my parents shouting. It was because they were worried. They've been having a hard time financially.

I'm not sure what the problem is but I think I heard something about one of them getting a cut in their pay, and on top of that, they now had a hospital bill to deal with. The only reason we were even able to _get_ a new television is because the old one had a really good warranty."

_Pants on fire_

"I said sorry so many times, and they acted like they were okay with it, but I could tell they were getting sick of me. It's been a rough couple days, we've all been arguing with each other and blowing up over the smallest things. I didn't say anything to you and Aunt Iris, because you already looked like you were disappointed in me for not being able to catch the ball on time and…." I paused dramatically, "I didn't want you to say what my dad said," I allowed the misery I was feeling to show up on my face.

"He accused me of hitting her on purpose, or not stopping the ball on purpose, because I was mad. But I didn't do it on purpose; I swear I didn't! I can't believe he thought I would do something like that!"

I buried my face in my hands. "I know my parents always love me, but I don't think they like me very much right now."

_Hanging by your tongue on a telephone wire._

"Ah, kid," my uncle Barry whispered as he hugged me.

_Liar, Liar._ I could hear those kids chanting in my head, their little voices engraved themselves into my thoughts until they were warped and twisted. The innocence in their tones was quickly vanishing and being replaced by jeers and mockery.

My shoulders trembled. My uncle probably thought I was crying because he shushed me soothingly and ran a hand through my hair. My shoulders shook again as anger, self-loathing, and confusion welled up and made me shudder in revulsion.

"I'm sorry you've been having a hard time, but you should know you can come to me and Iris for _anything_, we care about you. You shouldn't lie to us buddy; there's not a whole lot of people we can trust, what with the business we're in. We need to trust each other."

_Hanging by your tongue on a telephone wire._

I hugged my uncle tightly so he couldn't see the guilt stamped across my face, as obvious as a scarlet letter.

_Did I make the right choice? _I wondered.

My uncle sat with me for a long time, consoling me about the fake story I had told him. I made him promise not to mention it to my parents. I told him that they wouldn't be happy if I had put their business out everywhere. He agreed. He said he would keep it a secret. It made me wonder whether I really should have told him the truth. Maybe he'd have kept silent for that if I'd asked him to. But I couldn't risk it.

_Liar, Liar, Liar!_

**Hey! Okay, so didn't quite get to failsafe yet, according to the timeline it happened on Sunday and it is Friday in this chapter. **

**I looked up the Liar Liar rhyme on Wikipedia, there's actually a few different variations of it, lol Go Wiki!**

**I'd also like to thank angelrider13 for inspiring me, she reviewed "I was kinda hoping that Wally would spill while under the influence of drugs...sigh, chance wasted," I considered this and thought, "huh, the scene where Wally gets loopy on pain medication _is _kind of useless at the moment." So I used this chapter to make it actually have some relevance to the storyline. **

**Thanks to all my reviewers as well, you rock! **


	7. Chapter 7: Data

**I have an amendment to make to my use of the YJ timeline. It's in the author's note at the end of the chapter and if you're like me and pay attention to numbers and dates, you should check it out.**

I heard the door open and close downstairs and heard footsteps. I dragged myself off of the bed. I had been laying there brooding since my uncle left and despite what Batman seems to think, brooding isn't a lot of fun, especially when your stomach is telling you to stop pouting and get some food. I was kind of glad that my mom was home; at least I had _something_ to distract me from my guilt-ridden moping.

I limped downstairs and looked around for my mom. A head of short brownish-red hair peeked out from over the arm of the couch. I looked over the side and saw Mom, in a knock-out-deep sleep, her work clothes still on. The bags under her eyes were very dark now and she was a little pale. I looked at her sadly and went to get a blanket from the closet, deciding that I'd cut her some slack and make dinner for a change.

I restrained myself from eating before dinner. The cupboards in our kitchen were pretty bare, and I didn't want to clean all the food out of the cupboard. I didn't want mom to have to worry about grocery shopping until she absolutely had to, she was so exhausted as it was. I figured that it wouldn't kill me to wait a little.

I was sitting on the counter, waiting impatiently for the chicken casserole to finish cooking when I heard a yelp from the couch.

I looked up.

"I'm sorry Rudy, I'm sorry," Mom mumbled. She said some unintelligible sentences before she started crying in her sleep.

I cringed, not knowing whether I should wake her up or not. I wasn't sure what I'd do if I _did _wake her up. Would she even want me to wake her? I wouldn't want people waking me up if I had a nightmare, that'd be awkward. Yet again I'm a guy, chicks are different about emotions and junk…Does Mom count as a chick though? I'm pretty sure Mom's have their own category.

I sat there for a few minutes, unsure of myself, trying to ignore her crying…

_Wow. I feel like a terrible person, I should go wake her up…But what am I supposed to say? I'll probably just make her feel worse._

She cried some more and I fiddled with my sleeve nervously.

_Well, the casserole only has a few more minutes left. I'll just wake her up for dinner when the timer goes off. She can save face that way. She doesn't have to know that I know she was crying. That's what I'd want someone to do for me. Is that what she would want though?_

I almost fell off the counter when my sleeve started smoking. Guess I'd been fidgeting with it in superspeed.

_What kind of idiot sets themself on fire when they're just sitting around doing nothing?_

I sighed and bounced my leg up and down. I heard a shift in sound coming from the couch. Mom stopped crying and her breathing steadied.

_Is it mean of me to be glad that I don't have to deal with her now? _I wondered.

_Probably, _my conscious said, a little snottily.

I fiddled with the end of my sleeve again, pulling out strings and ruining the hem-line.

_So what, you're destroying your clothes now? Your parents are having a hard enough time without having to replace your clothes too. Are you _trying_ to make things worse? _

I gritted my teeth and chewed my lip compulsively, my stomach churning.

I knew what I was doing. I was feeling anxious, and since I had no outlet for my feelings I was internalizing them and attacking myself for everything I did.

_You're a moron._

I knew intellectually that I was being stupid.

_Because you are stupid you worthless runt, your dad thinks you're worthless, he cared more about the TV than you._

I knew that not everything I was telling myself was true.

_Stop lying to yourself._

But understanding things isn't the same as feeling them.

_You understand nothing, you ignoramus!_

The kitchen timer went off and I numbly pulled the chicken casserole out and set it on the stove to cool.

Normally the smell of food would be hard for me to resist, I'd been starving a few minutes ago, but my stomach was acting about as violent as my thoughts and I had no desire to eat.

_But you need to eat, _the rational part of my subconscious told me.

_ No you don't, you're not using your superspeed, you're not being useful. You don't need food you moron, _the snotty part of my persona told me.

_ You do, Wally you may not think you're hungry, but you are, _said my valiant sense of reason.

My stomach churned again.

_If I eat I'll throw up. _I thought to myself. My logic and my inner demon had a lot to say about that last thought, but I pushed them to the back of my mind as I stood up and fixed Mom a plate of food.

I didn't touch the stuff myself.

Mom glared at me when I first shook her awake (she never was much of a morning person) but smiled when she saw the chicken casserole I made.

"Thanks, Sweetie-Green-Eyes," she slurred as she sat up and took the plate.

She shoveled the concoction into her mouth and chewed as if she hadn't eaten in years.

"Any good?" I asked.

"Mmhm!" she grunted before swallowing. "Haven't eaten all day, I had to work through lunch."

"Mom," I frowned at her. "You need to start taking breaks when your boss tells you to."

She rolled her eyes. "I wanted to get out early today, I was so tired. I had to pull over and take a nap on the drive home so I wouldn't crash."

This comment made me feel guilty—well, guiltier. It was partly my fault that she'd been up all night.

"You've gotten a lot better at cooking," she said as she chewed ravenously.

"Yea, instant ramen and microwave burritos just weren't cutting it," I said gesturing at the ravenous fiend that was my stomach. Though it didn't feel so ravenous at the moment.

My stomach contradicted my thoughts by growling.

Mom looked at me questioningly. "Was that your stomach?"

"Uh…"

Mom's phone buzzed from somewhere across the room.

"Could you grab me my purse?" asked mom.

_Saved by technology, nice._

I stumbled over to it leaning a little more heavily on my crutches than I had before. I bent down with a little difficulty and picked it up, bringing it back to her.

She pulled out her phone, looked at a text, and grinned before putting the phone down.

"Who was that?" I asked.

"Just Julie, she sent me a picture of her daughter's latest drawing," she said with a smile. "I remember when you were that age," said my mom, nodding towards the picture on the wall of the two of us at my kindergarten graduation.

"You were so cute. That was a really good year, you know?"

I nodded. I didn't remember much from that year, but a few events were still strong in my mind. Dad had given me an action figures set after my graduation ceremony. He and Mom were gushing about me making honor roll.

Dad and me used to play aliens and spacemen with those action figures. We'd have a blast, running around and fighting terrible Martian invaders (I will never tell M'gann), those memories are some of my favorites.

That was the only time in my life that I remember that felt completely carefree_, _happy. I was too young to notice the constant tension or the rocky stages. All I saw was what my young mind had whipped up. Mommy and Daddy were married so that meant they had to have true love like in the Disney movies, and Daddy was the best worker at the factory and one day I was going to be just like him, only I'd also be a firefighter, a professional baseball player, and a superhero too.

_Well at least I got one thing right._ I thought dryly as I remembered running around my house, pretending to rescue civilians and wrestle lions.

I don't know when I noticed that not all was well in the house of West. I think it was around second grade, the time that Mom had refused to let me join the kiddie-league T-ball team as a punishment for…I don't remember what I'd done to deserve that, but I had cried a lot Dad had gone and signed me up anyway. Mom screamed at him for undermining her and he argued back. It was the first time I'd seen them fight. Things were never really the same after that. Maybe it was for them, but it wasn't for me.

I remember how scared I felt whenever I heard them yell. I remembered when I got so stressed out that year in second grade that I started chewing holes in my sleeves. Mom tore me a new one for that, so I had stopped. _And had taken up lip biting instead, thanks Mom._

"Got anymore casserole, or did you eat it all?" asked my Mom with a good humored look.

"Huh?" I said my train of thought crashed into a brick wall and left me a little confused.

"Casserole."

"Oh, yeah."

I went to the full crock-pot of casserole and scooped some more out for Mom.

I probably would have been ticked at Mom for making me get up and move around so much when I was on crutches, but I felt so bad about keeping her up all night then leaving her to suffer through her nightmares that I didn't complain.

"You should do your homework," said Mom. "I know you're going to that HQ with your team this weekend, and I don't want you waiting until Sunday night."

I didn't even have the heart to groan as I shuffled my way over to where I'd left my books. I glanced up at the clock out of habit as I opened my mathematics binder.

It was almost eight o' clock.

My gut clenched uncomfortably and I shifted my weight nervously. Dad would be home in a few hours. As a speedster, a few hours usually felt like forever to me, but now it seemed like no time at all. I couldn't stop myself running through scenarios.

What if he came home in a rage again? I could protect myself well enough if I really had to, but it would be much harder for me to protect mom. If I got into a fight my technique would have to be crude, on the offense, which didn't allow for a whole lot of mercy. If Dad got a hold of Mom, I would probably have to break some bones.

I felt my teeth scrape over my bottom lip again and growled in annoyance. It was impossible not to notice my little tic after Uncle Barry had pointed it out. I snatched a pack of gum out of my pencil case and popped a piece into my mouth, occupying my traitorous teeth with ferocious chewing.

I felt my body start itching to start running in superspeed and I threw myself into my math homework, trying to distract myself. It wasn't until the pencil started smoking that I realized I was going in superspeed. I glanced at my completed worksheet and grimaced at the few holes that I had unknowingly torn into it. Then I looked back at the clock. Less than three minutes had passed. I squirmed a little and pulled out my Spanish homework.

After five more minutes and a slightly charred pencil, I gave up trying to distract myself and fidgeted, trying to think. It was hard to focus when I felt so nauseous. I unconsciously wiped my sweaty palms on my pants. My eyes wandered around before settling on Mom's brightly colored purse. I suddenly remembered the text Mom's friend had sent her.

_ Julie. Of course!_

"H-Hey, uh, Mom?" I said, when I could trust my mouth to speak without revealing how frazzled I felt.

She looked over at me, from where she was curled up on the couch watching some stupid soap opera.

"Uh, well, it's been awhile since you've seen Julie, right? Weren't you two supposed to go see that chick flick together?" I asked.

"Well, yes," my mom replied. She gave me a strange look, clearly confused by my random question, "but we got busy with other things."

"Why don't you catch a late showing tonight? Both of her kids will be in bed by then and neither of you have to be up for work tomorrow."

My mom looked at me in confusion.

"Honey, that's pretty late notice…"

"Doesn't hurt to try," I interrupted.

"Tonight's not really a good night, I'm tired" said mom wearily.

"Please, Mom," I begged.

She looked at me and I knew she knew what I was up to, but she asked anyway.

"Why?"

"You know why," I told her.

"Honey—"

"No."

"But you're injured!"

_Exactly, I can't protect you when I'm like this._

"I've healed a lot since last night, look," I stood up, forcing myself not to gasp in pain or allow my legs to tremble. I stood up quickly and walked towards her, no crutches. I kept a straight face, hoping Mom wouldn't notice how tightly I was clenching my jaw. The gum I had been chewing crushed itself flat between my teeth as I tried to keep my mouth shut.

I held my ground for as long as I could as she watched me. I felt blood soaking through my bandages as newly healed skin shifted and tore.

"I need to stay here," she said.

"Not tonight, Mom," just go," I wasn't asking anymore. My voice was forceful, commanding…aggressive. My unkind tone was more a product of pain than annoyance, but it did the trick. Mom nodded, but I didn't miss the way she flinched as she did it.

I nodded back tensely and forced myself to walk back to the couch and sit down slowly, as if my legs _weren't _about to give out from under me.

Mom grabbed her cell phone to call her friend, and I sighed in relief when she said Julie was available. Mom left a little before ten and I knew her and her friend would probably go to a café or something and talk after the movie so I felt a lot more at ease with the fact that my dad was coming home. My stomach felt a little better, but the churning feeling still lingered.

It made me uneasy that Mom had obeyed me. Not only was she confirming Dad as a threat that she couldn't cope with, but she hadn't been willing to listen to me until I spoke to her harshly. A couple months ago she would have responded with righteous fury, but now she was just…timid. Was my Mom losing her confidence? Did she think she had to put up with that kind of thing?

I stayed in the living room as it approached the time dad would come home. . I wanted to meet my dad when he came in the door so he wouldn't smash anything.

I waited, nervous. I chewed my gum compulsively until I felt my mouth go dry. I hadn't realized how dehydrated I was… I ended up chugging a couple glasses of water. I considered eating something too, but I felt too sick to hold anything down, so I just fidgeted and finished off my homework, glancing at the door periodically. It was like waiting for an explosion.

After a while, I heard the door open and Dad staggered in, I frowned.

His red eyes focused on me.

"Wha're you doin? Get out of my seat!" I wasn't aware that Dad had a designated 'seat' but stood up and moved anyway.

"I'm hungry, where's my dinner? Mary!" he shouted.

"I'll get it!" I said hastily and stumbled into the kitchen as quickly as my injuries would allow.

"Mary!" he bellowed.

I hastily opened the fridge and popped his plate of leftovers into the microwave. _Hope he doesn't mind chicken casserole._

"How was your day, Dad?" I yelled, trying to distract him, but he wasn't having it.

"Where's Mary?"

"She's at a movie with Julie" I said, "she'll be back soo—"

"Liar!" dad screamed, and he leaped off the couch and charged at me. I dodged and he barreled straight into a kitchen cabinet cabinet so hard, that his nose started dripping with blood.

Dad yelled, looking mildly psychotic, and came at me again. I dodged again and Dad—who had been leaning really far forward, trying to grab me—fell on his face in a manner that looked like the Charlie Brown fall, only in reverse.

"How dare you hit me! After ever'thin I've done for you!" he slurred."

"You're the one attacking me!" I said, trying not to think of the fact that his logic had regressed to that of a Central City rogue.

I caught his fist as it came at me with my left hand and shoved him. He stumbled backwards, fell, and smacked his head against the wall. He ended up on the ground—and he wasn't moving.

I froze, horrified.

"Dad?" I asked, panicking as I knelt down next to him, ignoring the protest of my shins. His fist came at me and I scrambled back.

"Worthless Brat" he hissed "prolly not even mine, and Mary out running around on me again."

"She's not running around! She's at the movies!" I said, now scared.

_What will he do to her if he thinks she's been cheating again?_

I had to dodge another fist as my dad stood up. He staggered sideways and panted as if he'd just sprinted across a football field.

"Shuddup and gimme a beer!" he slurred once he had caught his breath and he, stomped away towards the couch. I almost had a heart attack when the microwave timer went off behind me. My hands shook a little as I took it out and grabbed a beer from the fridge. I brought him his dinner, taking care to go the long way to set it down, so I wouldn't be within attack range.

I stood back and watched him nurse his sore nose (thankfully it wasn't broken), consume beer and chicken casserole, and occasionally bellow random phrases. He seemed to have exercised the violence out of himself because he mostly just sat there watching mindless sitcoms while demanding more beer.

When he finally got tired he went upstairs to bed, not wanting to sleep on the couch.

I got to work as soon as I was sure he was asleep. I took samples of the blood that came from his nose and saliva from the beer cans and preserved them for analysis tomorrow in the cave's lab.

After that I cleaned up the mess Dad had made in the living room and kitchen. It was easy work, though the pain I felt in my legs slowed me down. I had to stop and change my bandages, which was painful because I'd left them on too long and they were sticking to the skin. The wounds had healed a little more though. _Probably adrenaline from the fight, _I thought.

I had just finished when Mom texted me, asking if it was okay to come home.

"_Yes" _I texted. _"If you're still with Julie take a picture with your cell of you two together, and keep your movie ticket." _

When she arrived I led her into the living room and we started whispering to each other.

"Do you have your movie ticket, and the photo?" I whispered.

"Yes, why?" she asked, confused.

"He didn't believe me when I said you were at the movies," I explained.

Mom suddenly looked a little pale and anxious, a perfect illustration of the feelings I was trying to hide.

"Why don't you sleep on the bed in my room tonight? He's a little crazy right now and, well, he might be angry if you wake him. I'll take the couch, it's easier for me anyway, I can get to the fridge without braving the stairs."

"Okay," Mom said. She didn't argue one bit, meaning she had no doubt that she should fear her husband at the moment.

I clenched my fists, but smiled at her and gave her a kiss goodnight.

I watched her go upstairs and heard her open and close the door to my room.

Now that my focus was off my parents I realized that jaw felt a little sore and I found myself still chewing the gum. I moved towards the kitchen trashcan to spit it out but suddenly a horrible feeling hit me and I collapsed to my knees clutching at my middle. I would have thrown up if there had been anything in my stomach.

_You moron, you should have eaten something._

The edges of my vision started to blur.I used my last bit of coherent thought to spit out my gum so I wouldn't choke. My head spun and I blacked out on the carpet.

"Wally, Wally baby, get up. Honey, I need you to wake up."

I opened my eyes and felt my head pound viciously.

"Mom?" I rasped trying to focus my vision

"Wally, what happened? Are you okay?" I could tell that Mom was freaking out.

My stomach answered her and I curled up, resting my head against the carpet and closing my eyes.

I heard her speak, but I wasn't listening, I just fell asleep again.

Someone shook me insistently.

"Wally, come on, wake up!" Mom sounded like she was crying.

I opened my eyes to find myself propped against the back of the couch. Mom was sitting in front of me. I opened my mouth a little to ask what was wrong and Mom shoved something into my mouth. She forced me to tilt my head back and a liquid rushed into my mouth I swallowed reflexively. I started to struggle on instinct after the first few gulps, but mom held my head in place, forcing the liquid down my throat. After several more gulps she let me go and took the liquid away. I gasped for breath and my vision sharpened.

Things started to make a little sense. I realized it was daytime, and I remembered that I'd passed out last night. I tasted something sweet and licked my lips.

_Orange juice._

"Wally?"

I looked over at my Mom, who had tears in her eyes.

"Huh?"

As soon as I said it I felt a terrible thirst ripple across my tongue.

I snatched the orange juice carton from Mom's hand and chugged the rest of it. I frowned when the juice was gone and Mom handed me a gallon of milk before running into the kitchen. I had poured half the gallon down my throat when mom came back, snatched the milk away and started shoving something into my mouth, my cheeks puffed out with whatever she had stuffed into my mouth as soon as I swallowed mom stuffed some more of whatever it was into my mouth. I grabbed her wrist as she tried to shove more of whatever it was into my mouth.

I looked around disoriented and saw the leftover chicken casserole next to me and Mom was holding a spoon.

"You need to eat," said my mom firmly.

I looked down at the food.

"M'kay," I slurred and took the spoon from her. The next thing I knew all the casserole was gone. Things started making a little more sense after that. I was actually able to focus on the things around me. I saw Mom sitting next to me surrounded by various dry goods.

She cracked open a can of pears and handed it to me before snatching up a can opener to open some green beans.

It was a few more moments before Mom spoke up.

"What happened?"

"Dunno," I lied.

"Wally," said Mom warningly.

"Went to bed without eating first."

"You went to bed on the floor?" said my mom disbelievingly.

_I need a good lie…_

Mom wasn't as sharp as my uncle, so I allowed my thoughts to kick into superspeed.

"My metabolism freaked out and started healing me super fast, I was going to go eat something to compensate but I ended up passing out from the pain of my bone fixing itself and my skin re-growing."

Mom looked worried.

"We should call your uncle after your dad wakes up," she said.

"No," I said quickly. "I mean, uh, he won't be home, he'll be…at the cave! Yeah, he told Red Tornado last night that he would help fix a machine that uh…Superboy broke in the training room. Boy doesn't know his own strength, ha ha!" I laughed nervously before continuing my lie.

"But anyway, I'll just ask him to give me another check up while I'm there, I'm sure everything's fine. He said uh, that uh, Trickster's acid might cause something like this to happen! Yeah, but, uh, he didn't expect it to be this extreme, but it's not a big deal! I'll just have him look me over when I get to the cave.

Mom stared at me.

"Oh…Okay, then. Alright, yeah. We'll get you to the cave." She said uncertainly, though I knew she could tell I was nervous. I tried to think of an excuse…I saw my wad of gum lying on the carpet a few feet away

"Imsrybouthegm!" I said, purposefully rushing my words to fake anxiety.

"Wally! Speak Slowly!" snapped my Mom. She _hates_ it when I rush my sentences.

"Um…I'm sorry about the gum," I lied.

"What gum?"

"I had gum and, uh, I like, spat it out when uh, I knew I was going to pass out and it's s-stuck in the carpet now," I said pointing at it.

"Wally," mom groaned.

"I'll get it out!"

She sighed and glanced at the clock

"No, no, you have less than an hour before you're supposed to be at the cave and I still have to drive you to the area where the zeta-beam is," she sighed. "I'll take care of it, the last thing we need is for your uncle to come over to see why you're late, I don't want him to wake your father up."

"Dad's not awake yet?" I asked nervously.

"No, he's pretty tired," she replied.

My teeth scratched at my lip and I wished I had another piece of gum.

"Maybe I should stay until after he wakes up," I said.

"No, Wally, there's no need for that."

"But what if he gets mad again? He was pretty mad last night."

"He's always better in the mornings, Wally, you know that."

"Better?" I demanded. _What does she know?_ "Better, what do you mean better? Is he sick? Why are things different in the mornings? Why has he been acting like this, why—"

"That's between me and you're father," snapped mom getting defensive.

"And yet I'm _still_ involved so what—"

"This discussion is over."

"Mom!"

"Enough."

"But Mo—"

"Wallace West! You shut your mouth and go get ready to meet your team this instant!"

I glared at her and used the back of the couch to pull myself up. I stormed away in a huff, though the effect was ruined by the fact that I was wobbling on my crutches.

_She doesn't want to tell me? Fine! I'll just go to the caves and test the blood and saliva samples I got from Dad._

**Okay, so about what I said up top…You ever had one of those 'Epic Fail' moments? I had one recently when I looked at the Young Justice timeline. **

**I've been going out of my way to follow the timeline when I realized that it was made for 2010-2011, not 2011, 2012, so basically I'm a day behind as far as Failsafe goes. I thought it took place on Sunday, but it happened on a Saturday. I would rework my story to make failsafe happen Saturday, but it would mean rushing a few other things that I've set up the previous chapters for, so I'll just keep my little error (lucky this is fanfiction and I could make it take place whenever I want) as is and merge with the correct timeline when I reach the next "official" Young Justice episode.**

**Sorry guys. I'm really trying to stick to the official plotline here, g**oing by the calendar helps me time things in terms of the characters and where they are in their developments, **but like I said: epic fail. **


	8. Chapter 8: Revelation

Birds chirped incessantly as I limped down three city blocks towards the alley holding the zeta tube, making my head pound.

_Would it kill the little irritants to migrate south already? Better yet, why don't they just stay south? Why do they even bother coming back north? Do they do it to torment me?_

Mom couldn't take me directly to the location because she was a civilian and therefore wasn't allowed to know where it was. I wouldn't have minded the walk if my stomach was behaving itself. Unfortunately it was cramping something fierce as food churned around inside of it. I was hunching over slightly, leaning on my crutches for support as pain plagued me. My metabolism was still in shock at the moment from the abrupt shift between being starved and being slammed with food.

I was bound to be a bit out of it for the rest of the day. It didn't help that my backpack was weighing me down.

I gritted my teeth in frustration.

_You're such a freaking invalid, first the arm, then the leg, then the stomach. You're so useless. _The sadistic side of me sneered.

_Bite me. _I snarled back before shoving the voice to the back of my mind. Tearing down my own self-esteem wasn't going to do me any favors, especially when there were so many problems I needed to solve.

When I finally reached my destination I took a deep breath to clear my pounding head and I stepped into the transporter. After an obnoxious flash of light that made my head feel even worse; I was in the cave listening to the annoying voice of the computer.

_Kid Flash B-03_

I limped into the cave, hoping there wasn't anyone in the immediate vicinity. I really just wanted to sit on the couch for a moment and get my bearings before I had to face the team.

"KF! About time you got here," I looked over and saw Robin smirking as he entered the room.

_Great, _I thought dryly. _Can't I ever just catch a break?_

"M'gann tells me you got taken down by Trickster…and a flight of stairs," he says with a slight cackle.

Normally I would have bantered back but my nerves were too fried to allow me to think up a good retort, so I just glared.

Robin frowned at this uncharacteristic response and walked over to me. I knew he was looking at my posture, every muscle, and every detail of my stance.

"Dude, what happened to you?" he asked, his mood changing from mocking to slightly concerned.

"I got injured as you were so kind to point out a few seconds ago," I said sarcastically, though there was more bite to it than I meant to put into it.

Robin stepped closer and looked at my face. I could _feel _him reading my emotions and my body language.

I could practically see the instincts he was raised with manifesting themselves. As a trapeze artist Robin had to work smoothly and precisely with the people around him. That meant reading their movements _and_ their emotions. He knew that a sore shoulder or a bought of anxiety could easily mess up a performance and he constantly kept watch for such things. Becoming Batman's partner had refined this skill to the point where it was even harder for me, (his teammate _and_ best friend) to lie to him than it is for me to lie to uncle Barry. I cussed myself out for not planning for this, for forgetting about Robin's sharp eyes.

"No, I mean why are you so pale? You look like you did the time you passed out when were on that mission in Taiwan together," the end of the second had a bit of a joking end to it, though I could tell he was worried.

"I'm just tired, Rob," I said, trying not to snap at him, I didn't look into his face.

"No, there's something else. Come on, KF, you can tell me," he said, looking even more concerned by my behavior than before.

"I'm fine, just a little sore from my arm and leg healing themselves" I insisted. I knew he wouldn't buy it, I knew I was most likely too pale and clammy for any excuse but the truth to fly with him, but what was I supposed to say? _Oh, I just passed out from hunger in my own home because I was too much of a nervous wreck to eat. I can't tell you why though, sorry. _Yeah, that would go over real well.

"KF, if you're going to try and lie to me you should at least come up with a decent story," Robin said bluntly.

The condescending tone irritated me even further.

"Well excuse me if you're to stupid to believe the truth. Believe what you want Rob, I don't have time for the third degree," I snarled, beginning to hobble away.

A hand on my shoulder stopped me.

"Okay, you are _not_ acting like you right now. You also look like you're about to pass out. You need to tell me what's wrong with you or I'm telling Black Canary about this when she gets here," he said seriously.

Now _that _was a low blow.

My mouth dropped open at the threat.

"Dude!" I said feeling betrayed. "I don't go running to Batman when you hide your problems, what's your deal?"

"So you admit you have a problem that you're hiding," said Robin quickly.

"I'm not hiding anything, you're just overreacting. I'm tired and sore from the fight, I don't have any problems." I said angrily.

"Seriously, KF? Stop lying to me like I'm your mentor or something. We're supposed to be bros, if you have a problem you should tell me!" he exclaimed with a glare.

_Liar, Liar Pants on Fire…_The chorus began, prompted by Robin's use of the word lying.

_Not this again, _I thought as the urge to crawl into the air vents and hide there for the rest of the day overtook me.

"Ugh, take a freaking hint Rob! I don't want to talk about it, okay? And don't pull the bro card, you hypocrite, it's not like you never lie to me!" I said, my temper growing higher.

"There are times when I have to lie! It's part of the job!" Robin said, sounding a little hurt. I was one of the few people in his life who never blamed him for having to lie and keep secrets. He hardly even did it anymore around me, he'd told me his secret identity ages ago, and he's hardly needed to keep secrets since.

"And what, it isn't for me?" I demanded, ignoring the low blow I'd just dealt.

"Since when does _your_ mentor ask you to lie to other heroes?" Robin snarled.

"It's not my mentor who's asking me to lie!" I said angrily, though I immediately wished I could take back that last statement.

It was completely quiet for a few moments.

"Then who is it? Who asked you to lie?" Robin asked, frustrated and confused.

"None of your business!" I growled defensively before storming off to the gym, needing to escape this line of conversation.

Robin stood where he was, feeling angry with me for blowing him off.

"You know the dramatic exit is ruined by how much you fail at using crutches!" Robin called after me, angrily.

"Go to jump off a skyscraper!" I yelled back at him, disappearing from his line of sight, though I'm pretty sure I saw Robin give me a hand gesture—one that was most definitely _not_ taught to him by Batman—as I turned the corner.

I was still pretty mad by the time I made it to where the rest of my team was waiting in the gym. I stumbled over the edge of a matt as I entered the room and my expression grew even uglier.

"What's with you Kid-Klutz?" asked Artemis.

I glared at her and kept walking, trying not to trip again. There was uncomfortable moment where Artemis and the team waited for me to talk back, but I said nothing, much to their confusion. They didn't have time to ask questions though because our blonde bombshell of a teacher chose that moment to show up.

"Hello everyone, sorry I'm late, got caught up in a mission," said Black Canary as she entered the room.

A moody Robin followed her. I knew he was glaring at me under the mask, so I glared back. Before anything else could happen though, Black Canary went around and set everyone up on a different piece of equipment, giving each of them workout instructions based on their abilities.

Canary shook her head when she reached me, eyeing my injuries.

"Wait here a minute," she said.

I was left standing there awkwardly feeling Robin sending the junior edition of the batglare in my direction. I had enough sense to _not _look in his direction, knowing I'd do I'd probably do something stupid if I did.

"You'll be brushing up on your hacking skills, Wally," Black Canary said as she re-entered the room and thrust one of the cave's laptops into my hands.

_Ugh, I hate having to sit down and memorize codes, I'd much rather brush up on my scientific knowledge._

I heard Robin snicker at my expense, he knows how much I hate stuff like this.

_Brat._

"Fine," I grumbled and I walked over to a chair and started working. The workout in the gym was followed by a few different sparing rounds in the room down the hall, leaving me in front of a computer for a total of three hours as I hacked into different databases. When I hit a dead end or messed up my first instinct was to ask Robin for advice, but since we weren't talking I had to tough it out alone, which was frustrating.

I'd shove an energy bar into my mouth every so often as I worked. Mom had freaked out again before I left for the cave and stuffed a bunch of food into my backpack threatening to ground me if I didn't consume all of it before I came home. I still wasn't exactly eager to eat, since my stomach was still acting up, but I refused to allow myself to pass out again. That would just be idiotic.

By the time the training session was over my head was spinning with codes and my eyes hurt from staring at the screen for so long. Needless to say, my bad mood had _not _improved.

"Everyone, good work, shower up!" Canary called out after the last spar had ended.

She approached me after the team ventured towards the showers.

"Good work to you too, Wally. You've shown a surprising amount of progress in your computer skills for a single sitting."

"Thanks," I said insincerely. Normally I would have jumped on her praise, but I was in no mood for that today.

"Did you want me to put that back in the lab for you?" she offered pointing at the laptop, "I know it's hard to juggle things when you're on crutches."

"Nope, I got it," I said shortly as I stuck the laptop in my backpack so I could take it to the lab. I picked up my crutches, and had started to leave when I heard her speak.

"Wally," said Black Canary.

I turned around partially.

"Are you alright? You've been…quiet," she said. She looked mildly worried.

"I'm just sore," I lied faking a grimace. "I can't exactly take pain killers with my metabolism and all, they ware off about as soon as they kick in."

"I see. Well, if you need help with anything let me know."

"Thanks," I said indifferently before hobbling away.

There was no response, but I just knew she was staring at me. She was probably freaked out that I hadn't hit on her…_well, whatever, I have more important things to do than flirt obnoxiously. It's not like she's the den-mother anyway, I won't have to see her again until our next training session so she won't have another opportunity to interrogate me._

I headed straight for the computer lab. Really, I was glad Canary had given me an excuse to go to there; it gave me the perfect opportunity to scan the samples I'd collected.

_The sooner I figure this crap out, the better. I am so sick of lying to people._

I glanced at the clock when I'd put away the laptop, guessing that I would have a good fifteen minutes before anyone was done showering, and even longer before anyone went looking for me, given the fact that they would all want to eat lunch after their strenuous work-outs. As for the chaperones, I knew for a fact that Canary was leaving and that Captain Marvel wouldn't be here for another hour or so. Batman and J'onn said they'd brief us on the training exercise tomorrow so I didn't even have to worry about them at all.

I figured I had enough time to work slowly. After all, I only had a couple samples and I didn't want to contaminate them or break any equipment. I spent over ten minutes setting everything up before I started testing. I wanted to scan the blood and saliva for any abnormalities, which—given the very vague parameters I had set—was a tall order, even for a super computer. I sat back and allowed the machine to do its work. It would probably be _at least_ ten minutes before the computer had compared the blood to _every _substance or illness listed in its extensive database.

I sighed, using my feet to pivot back and forth on the rolling chair in front of the computer.

I reflected on my day as I waited. All in all it had been a disaster so far. Heavy on the _dis_, as Robin would say.

I felt irritated by the thought of the little acrobat.

_Why am I so mad at him? He called me on a bluff, so what? I was the one who lied to him, and why? I could have given him at least part of the truth. I could've told him I'd passed out, told him that I wasn't feeling well. That would've been true. How could I rag on him for lying about classified info when it's part of our job? I'm the hypocrite not Robin. I didn't have to lie to him. Maybe I couldn't tell him the whole truth, but blatantly lying to someone who _knows_ you're lying is just plain rude._

_He was only trying to help, and I was a total jerk to him. I always rag on him for being a kid, but I'm less mature that he is half the time. How could I be such a jerk to him? Why'd I have to go and tell him to—oh, no—I told him to jump off a skyscraper. Why did I do that? I _know_ about his parents, how he watched them fall to their deaths. How could I say something like that to him?_

I berated myself for a few minutes, wondering if Robin had taken the skyscraper comment as seriously as I feared. I doubted it, but it could be hard to tell with him.

I was tempted to track him down right away to apologize, but I couldn't just leave this scan unattended. If anyone came in and found out what I was doing, I'd have a lot of excuses to make. I was already running on thin ice as it was. Even if Robin wasn't suspicious I knew that one slip up or clash between my lies could land me in trouble with Uncle Barry and Aunt Iris. I felt really guilty when I thought of Uncle Barry, and cringed at the sheer size of the lie I had told him yesterday afternoon.

That's when the chorus of cruel voices came in, of course. Ever since I heard that stupid rhyme yesterday the my inner demons seemed to lurk in the back of my mind waiting for that sliver of guilt to appear before they pounced, ripping my self-esteem to shreds.

_Liar, Liar, Pants on fire, Hanging by your tongue from a telephone wire!_

"Shut-up," I growled quietly. They didn't shut up though. They kept ringing in my head. It felt like I was stuck in a nightmare.

Liar, Liar, Pant's on Fire, Liar, Liar Liar, _Liar!_

"Grah!" I completely snapped. I roared angrily as I stood up, kicking the chair out from underneath me. It rolled away wildly and crashed violently into a table.

"What is this? "_The Tell-Tale Heart' _?"** (1.) **I yelled, punching the wall.

"What's the matter, KF? Feeling guilty?"

I spun around and saw Robin in his civi's, his hair damp from the shower he'd taken. He was leaning calmly against the wall across from me.

_How long has he been there? _I wondered as I clutched my sore knuckles.

_Maybe punching a stone wall wasn't the best idea…_

I leaned against the computer banks, blushing. After all the work I had been doing to hide the fact that I was _freaking out._ I'd ended up having a partial mental-break down in front of one of the few people who could read me as well as, if not better than, my uncle could.

Robin was staring at me and I was looking at the floor. Both of us were waiting to see who would crack first.

My legs wobbled a little, they were_ not_ happy about the fact that I was neglecting my crutches. I leaned a little more heavily on the computer banks.

Robin rolled his eyes and sighed, pushing himself off of the wall he'd been leaning on. He walked over to where I'd kicked the chair, and pushed it hard enough for it to roll up next to me.

"Sit down, KF," he said in exasperation.

I obeyed him, rubbing my shins a little.

Robin walked brusquely over to where I was sitting, and dropped into a crouch. He grabbed the leg of my pants, rolling it up. I tried to wiggle away but he grabbed my ankle.

"Stop," Robin commanded simply. I stilled and let him look at the bloody bandages.

"These need changed," Robin mumbled before digging through my backpack and pulling out my first-aid kit.

"How did you know I had that?" I asked, surprised.

"Speedsters need to change their bandages a lot more often then the rest of us, however you avoid the infirmary as much as a supermodel avoids a triple patty cheeseburger. I deduced that you had some medical tools in your backpack," said Robin irritably. He was clearly still mad at me.

He peeked at my bandages again.

"You do these yourself?" he asked, looking at the way they wound around my leg.

"Yeah," I said, though I bit my lip. I'd told my uncle yesterday that I had trouble bandaging my legs by myself…

_Calm down, it's not like Robin and your uncle are gonna get together to talk about your bandaging techniques._

"Not bad, but go a little thicker around the middle," he said tossing me the kit.

I took it and started to clean up my injuries, which really were getting closer and closer to healing. I'd be running by the end of the night on Sunday, if I was lucky.

Robin didn't hover or pester me as I worked the way my aunt and uncle would've. One of the things that I liked about Batman and Robin was that they didn't complain if they had to help me with an injury the way Mom and Dad did, but they didn't fuss the way may Aunt and Uncle did either.

Batman's philosophy was that if you are able to do take care of yourself then you should, and if you couldn't, you should try anyway until you finally have to swallow your pride and ask for help.

I kind of have that philosophy myself, though people don't know it because I complain so much. Not about things that matter of course, you can't complain about things that _really_ matter. I had learned that lesson pretty early on…

"_You can't complain in school Wally. Your teachers worry that Mom and Dad are bad people. They might take you away, do you want that to happen?"_

"_No, Mom! I want to stay with you and Dad!"_

"_Then don't talk about us fighting. You can complain about having to eat vegetables or do homework, but never complain about me and Daddy fighting._

"_Okay, Mom!" _

I shook the memory from my head; surprised I still remembered that conversation. It had happened in second grade, after all, it wasn't even relevant anymore…

Robin had pulled up a chair and was watching me as I wound my bandages around and around my leg. It was very quiet, with only the computer humming as it scanned. I had minimized my search though, so Robin couldn't see what it was doing.

I paused a bit in my movements.

"Listen, Rob. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said those things earlier. I didn't mean what I said at all, especially not the—the skyscraper thing. I wasn't thinking."

I told the Boy Wonder, being truly honest with him for the first time that day.

There was a silence that made me feel really nervous, then Robin sighed.

"I know, Kid-Mouth. I usually don't take the things you say to heart when you're throwing a tantrum." I tried not to glare at Robin for the last comment.

"Apologizes aside, why are you in here?" Robin asked. "Why'd you turn on the supercomputer?"

"Just doing a little extra research on a case," I said, tight-lipped.

"Uh-huh, and does this case have anything to do with the fact that you're pale as a tissue and defensive as a female grizzly?"

I said nothing.

Robin looked at me and said lightly: "You know I could hack the system right? I could do it in under a minute."

I gulped and Robin smirked.

"Um, please don't," I said.

"Why? Maybe I can help. Two heads are better than one, right?"

"Not this time," I said uneasily and I shifted nervously as my palms began to sweat. I wiped them on my pants.

"Awe, come on," said Robin, and I could tell he was manipulating my discomfort, trying to get me to crack. "What's so bad about this case that you can't ask your best friend for help? I could keep it a secret if you wanted."

I said nothing, but my stomach decided to put its two cents in. It grumbled obnoxiously.

Robin looked at me suspiciously. "Didn't you eat lunch?"

"Um…" _RAAAAARRR! _ My stomach chose to speak for me.

I finished wrapping my leg as Robin stood up from his crouch

"So let me get this straight. You're working on a case so important that it causedyou to skip lunchand you _still_ won't tell me what it is?"

"Yes?" I said uncertainly.

Robin folded his arms and glanced at the computer. A smirk etched itself onto his face.

_He's up to something_

"Oh, well, I guess if you won't tell me then I'll just have to give up," he said with a dramatic sigh.

_Yep, definitely up to something. _

He walked slowly away, trailing his hand along the computer banks as he headed towards the door.

Suddenly the computer I was next to beeped and an alert popped up onto the screen.

_"Analysis Completed,"_ said a digital female voice.

I heard one of the printers nearby spit out a piece of paper…it was the printer that Robin just _happened _to be standing next to.

"Oooooh, what's this?" Robin asked mischievously, as he held up the sheet to read.

I jumped to my feet, ignoring the pain

"Put it down!" I yelled angrily.

"Awe c'mon, it can't be that…"

Robin froze and so did I, my heart was trembling in my chest. I was dreading to hear the news that had given _Robin_ pause.

"Who's blood is this?" asked Robin quietly.

My mind whipped around for someone, anyone, I could pin it on.

"Guy at my school, sophomore," I said.

"You close?" Robin asked.

My heart sunk. He was trying to gauge how I'd take the news.

"Not close enough for you to have to sugar coat it," I said, trying not to look too upset.

Robin let out a breath.

"Well, your friend managed to get himself hooked on Crack-Venom."

My breath froze.

"Crack…Venom?" I asked.

"One of Cobra's latest creations. It doesn't give you any powers like the strong stuff does, but it's extremely addictive. "

_Addictive? _

The word echoed through my head and I leaned against the computer banks for support.

"People call it the clock-work-drug, you take it once, you have to take it again within the next twenty-six hours or you start going into withdrawal."

The world suddenly went cold and silent. There was no more air in the room. "What else do you know about it?"

_Was it me that asked that question? Must've been. Funny, I don't remember moving my mouth._

"This stuff is no joke," said Robin seriously. "It came out six months ago and the first groups of people to go to rehab for this stuff are _still there_, and they're in really bad shape. And those who don't go to rehab become increasingly aggressive and their behavior escalates until they either get arrested and put _in_ rehab, or they die from a forced withdrawal."

"Forced withdrawal?" I asked, parrot-like. My legs shook violently.

Robin didn't notice, he was looking over the paper, looking over facts he already knew and checking for ones he'd missed.

"The more of this stuff you take the more you need," Robin explained, "and it escalates until you literally can't get enough and you die from the withdrawal."

I felt incredibly dizzy just then. "H-how…what is the rate of increase for the dosage? I mean. Let's say someone has a gram of this stuff—"

"Oh no, it's less than that," said Robin. "The drug dealers start you off on a quarter of a gram. They sell the first dose for a couple bucks and people flock to them, and then they get hooked. For the first few days they keep the doses small, then they have to go up, because if they don't then they'll go into withdrawal. As the doses go up the prices go up. Drug dealers know that people on it are desperate, so they charge through the roof for the stuff." Robin thought for a moment, recalling more facts as he read over the paper again before he continued speaking.

"Usually after the first month or so, the users get very irritable around the time of day they take the drug; then within the next month or so they usually get violent. According to the readings on these samples your friend seems to be entering this stage. It's mostly around the time that they take the drug that they act out and—KF? KF!"

I had collapsed into the chair near the desk and put my head in my hands.

"KF, you okay?" Robin was in my face.

"I'm fine, Rob," my voice spoke without me telling it to.

"You don't look fine."

I took a shaky breath.

Robin grabbed up a computer chair and sat across from me

"This guy at your school, how close were you really?" asked Robin.

"Really close. Please don't ask me who it is, I won't tell you."

"Kid, whoever this is, he needs help. You can't just let people who are on this stuff run around, they're a danger to everyone, including themselves."

"I know. I'll go and see his mother tonight. If she won't believe me, I'm sure her husband will. He doesn't take any nonsense; he'll stick that boy's butt in rehab before you can say Cocaine."

_What am I saying? Where'd this story come from?_

"Bring your uncle or someone along when you break the news," said Robin. "It's a good idea to have an adult to back you up."

"Yeah, I'll do that, but can you please not say anything about this to anyone?"

"Sure," said Robin softly.

"Thanks, Bro," I stood up and collected my stuff, I took a moment to erase the history of my scan. Robin just watched, looking concerned. He didn't say anything, but he walked me to the zeta-beams.

"Good-luck," he said as I entered one.

"Thanks," I croaked.

Then the light flashed and I was back in Central.

**(1.)"The Tell-Tale Heart" is a story by Edgar Allen Poe. For those of you who haven't read it it's basically about a man who murders someone and ends up driving himself mad because he is convinced that he can hear the victim's heart beating from under the floorboards (where he had hidden the body). I used the criminal's guilt as a parallel to Wally's guilt. The criminal's guilt manifests itself in the sound of a heartbeat while Wally's guilt prods his subconscious to make Liar, Liar repeat itself mercilessly inside his head. (Though unlike the criminal Wally knows the voices in his head are just a product of his imagination, and he doesn't actually _hear_ them.)**


	9. Chapter 9: Escalation

** Sorry this took so long. I was doing finals at my college (we're on a quarter system until the end of this year when we switch to semesters) and then I left for spring break, and couldn't take my laptop. I would like to give a shout out to Ariel Yann Remark. I got a message from her asking me to update, which is why I'm posting this today. Anyway, hope this is okay. Oh! By the way! Since I kept you waiting so long I posted two chapters at once, the next one should be up around the same time as this one. I would have made it one big chapter but the transition would've been messed up and it would have been disproportionally long. **

_Tick Tock_

The clock in my room is digital, but even in its red numbered, electrical, silence, I could still hear it mocking me.

_Tick Tock. _

I was letting time pass at a normal pace. I watched the clock to make sure I didn't speed up. Time was painfully slow enough without me stretching it out. I wanted it to be dark out, I wanted it to be past the time where Dad had gone to get his fix and then come back. Of course, that was hours and hours away. I had only got home half an hour ago. I hadn't seen Dad when I stormed in. The papers detailing the evidence of his drugs were shoved into my backpack, torn in half, courtesy of Mom.

I was glad I hadn't run in to him. I wouldn't know what to do if I did. Mom had practically murdered me when she found out I'd been digging for information. She screamed a lot, and I did too. Of course, thanks to my super healing my throat wasn't nearly as sore as hers probably was, not that I felt all that sorry about that right now. She forbade me from telling dad that I knew. I'm going to humor her. What else can I do? She already knew, and she has no intention of changing her approach to the situation.

"_We can help him!" She shouted._

"_He needs a hospital!" I said angrily._

"_It would ruin him! The police are really cracking down on the people involved in this stuff. He'll lose his job, go to rehab, and we'd go under, lose the house, the second car. We can help him at home just as well any hospital!"_

"_That's not true! They have doctors, medicine, people who actually know what the—" I paused so I wouldn't swear in front of my mom, "they're doing."_

"_Your father says he's been weaning himself off the stuff he's got it covered!"_

The conversation had gone downhill from there but now that I thought about it, I wondered what she'd meant. If dad were really cutting down on his doses wouldn't he be going into withdraw? I frowned and sat up. I dug the papers out of my backpack. It took me a few minutes to find the scotch tape, flatten them out, and piece them back together, but I made them readable again. I scanned through the information, but I couldn't quite find what I was looking for. So, I pulled out my laptop and used the best weapon I had at my disposal; Google.

My cursor blinked in the search bar, waiting for instructions.

My hands moved across the keys.

_Crack-Venom._

Results popped up.

"_Yahoo! Answers. Hey! I heard there's this new drug out what is…"_

"_. A Clinical Examination of Crack-Venom on its Users…"_

"_Gotham City Times, Crack-Venom, the Latest and Worst of Drug Cartel…"_

I scrolled down a little and clicked the most promising looking option.

"_Wikipedia: Crack-Venom"_

"_Definition" I Know that…_

_ "Symptoms" That was in the report…_

_ "Physical Characteristics" Huh, this looks promising. _I thought as I scanned through the article.

_"Crack-Venom is extremely similar in appearance to Cocaine."_

My mind flashed to my mother, her face was red and she was yelling, _"He thought it was Cocaine!" _

_ "Yeah because that's so much better!" _I had shouted sarcastically. _"That crap can kill you with a single dose! Why would he do that? Does he _wan_t to die?"_

That was around the time she had slapped me. I scowled and rubbed my cheek unconsciously as I continued reading.

My eyes moved down the page and I focused on a different sentence.

"_There are many ways of administering this drug, one common method is injecting it…"_

_ That explains the needle marks. _I thought.

I scrolled down some more to read the paragraphs on withdraw. I took a deep breath and put my face in my hands. The drug would kill him if he kept taking it, but getting off it would be hard. The withdraw symptoms were pretty intense, thinking about them made me nauseous. What made me even more nauseous was that one thing had become very clear: If Dad were actually taking less of the drug then he would be showing these symptoms. He wasn't though. He was showing the symptoms of a hard-core user with no signs of withdraw. I knew what that meant…but what was I supposed to do about it?

I sat there for a long time. I spent over an hour trying to Google home remedies and other ways to help Dad, but it all came down to the same basic thing: he needed professional help.

_ There has to be another way, there just has to be!_

I searched again, scouring sites looking for options, but again I came up dry.

Downstairs I heard Mom and Dad talking and laughing as if Dad wouldn't leave tonight to go and get drugs. I wondered vaguely if I should just turn him in.

_But Mom said there's a chance, and she's known about this longer than I have._

Another part of the conversation with Mom came back to me.

_"I wasn't there for him! When he told me what was going on I went to the bar and…I cheated. How could I do that? I should have helped him!"_

I don't remember when or why she told me that but it did bring something up: is she keeping Dad here out of guilt? Is keeping him here really the best option?

I sighed and deleted the history off of my computer. I had no answers, and Google didn't either. Should I ask Uncle Barry? No. No, that's not my place. He's family, mom doesn't want to make Dad look bad in front of Aunt Iris, his sister, that wouldn't be fair…_but if I can't ask Uncle Barry, who can I ask? _

I sighed and pulled a disc off of my shelf and put it into the computer. I was too, as Robin would put it, whelmed to really dwell on that any more. My head was pounding and I felt like I was going to throw up, or cry, but I never cry, so probably just throw up. I dug couple Gatorades out of the stash in my bedside drawer, I didn't feel up to eating right that second, but I wasn't dumb enough to let myself crash again. I drank until I was up to eating, then I scarfed down some protein bars, and lost myself in video games.

I vaguely remember answering a couple of texts from Robin. Batman had rigged our phones so no one could trace one to the other, so it was safe to talk to him. Anyway, Robin was concerned about what had happened with my "friend." I lied, (_Liar, Liar!_) of course. I didn't even know what to do and despite all Robin's experience he won't either…Okay, so that's not true. I know Robin would know exactly what I should do. He'd tell me to get my dad into rehab. Still, it would be easy for him to say. It's not _his _dad (well, he has a guardian) that's having drug problems. If Batman were having a similar issue (highly unlikely because he's _Batman_) I'd bet half my comic books that Robin would be in the Batcave trying to exhaust every other possibility before even thinking spilling Bruce's secret.

I may not have a Batcave full of information, but I still felt a fragment of hope that there was something I was missing. A different solution, a better one…

So I lied to Robin, and when Mom brought me dinner I lied and said I was okay, an I was only pale because I'd crashed this morning and when Dad came to check on me and ask if I wanted to watch a movie I lied and said I had a homework assignment I'd forgotten about. When Uncle Barry called to check on me I lied to him and when Aunt Iris asked to talk to me I lied to her too. Why not, right? It's not like things can get any worse right? Just pour em' on. Just keep telling those lies.

Maybe I'll get even better at lying, maybe I'll get so good that I'll even be able to fool myself and I won't have to hear the voices in my head screaming _Liar! Liar! Liar! _And maybe I won't feel so sick and when I eat it won't feel like I'm shoveling sand into my mouth. Maybe I'll forget that Dad's on drugs and Mom's all beaten up and that she's in denial. And maybe I'll stop hyperventilating, maybe I'll stop sweating, maybe my head will stop pounding and my heart will stop racing.

Maybe I'll stop having a full on panic attack, sitting in my room, staring blankly at my computer, hearing the door slam as dad leaves to get his fix and maybe I won't have to cling to my chair to stop myself from running out to stop him because he'll get violently ill and possible die if he didn't get any Crack-Venom tonight.

Maybe I'll stop imagining Dad overdosing, maybe I'll stop shaking. Maybe I'll stop pacing around on my crutches, watching the clock.

_Tick Tock. Tick Tock._

Maybe the silent little red numbers will stop mocking me as time slowly reaches and exceeds by almost an hour the normal time when Dad usually comes home. Maybe I won't fidget and worry until I can take it anymore and run downstairs to find Mom looking at the clock too. Maybe we both wouldn't get the horrible feeling that something had gone terribly wrong…

We were in the car. Driving through one of the worst parts of the city. I was riding in the front seat, my eyes darting around taking in the drug dealers and prostitutes.

Neither of us were talking. Mom knew where Dad got his drugs, it was near his work, that's how he ended up taking them, his "friends" talked him into it. Peer pressure doesn't stop in high school, unfortunately…

I looked anxiously out the window and I saw someone spray painting a car with crude messaged. The alarm went of when another guy smashed the windshield out. I twitched and mom laid a hand on my arm.

"You're Wally right now," she reminded me.

I sighed and nodded. I needed to find my dad, and if nothing else, I couldn't leave Mom alone in this neighborhood, especially at night.

We kept an eye out for him as we made our way through the slums. I could see more prostitutes, 'innocently' strolling up and down the pavement. They were clearly looking to make someone's day as they left one of the bars…for a price, of course.

Men in nice cars pulled up next to each other to discuss 'business.' People looked at us suspiciously. People like Batman and Robin often wrote Central City off as a bubbly happy little town, but some neighborhoods were much too reminiscent of Gotham for comfort.

"There!" I said out of the blue, pointing out Dad's car. Mom pulled up and moved to get out.

"No," I said firmly. "You stay in the car, lock the doors.

"No way, you're a sitting duck with that crutch!" she said angrily.

"I can walk without it long enough to scope out the area," I said as I slipped out of the car. My legs cried a little in protest, but they didn't hurt as bad as they did during the morning, which meant I was starting to really heal up. I adopted the relaxed, but guarded posture that most of the people on the street held, but I knew I stuck out like a sore thumb. I went up to the car and saw it was locked up. Someone had carved a key mark into the side, but other than that it was pretty normal looking. I scoped out the alleyway near the car and saw nothing. I walked back towards the car just in time to see my Dad stagger out of one of the seedier bars.

"Dad!" I called as loudly as I dared, but he didn't seem to hear me.

I hurried to intersect his path and I saw mom slipping out of the car. I cursed and hurried up to both of them.

Mom reached Dad before I did. She reached towards him but he swatted at her hands irritably. The motion made him lose his balance and he fell down onto the pavement.

Mom and I crouched down and rolled Dad over. He was mumbling unintelligible nonsense and his breath smelled of a liquor far stronger than the beer he kept at home. I looked around nervously and saw that we were attracting attention.

"Mom, we need to go," I whispered.

She looked around as well and saw a couple men looking at us as if contemplating something sinister.

"Okay, Rudy, let's go," she grunted as the two of us heaved him up so we could get him into the passenger seat of the car. It took a lot of effort and some drunks across the street started to jeer at our expense, calling out insults about our looks. I was used to insults, what with my line of work, but I wasn't used to people calling my mother—well I don't want to repeat it. Let's just say I would have gone straight up to them and punched them if I wasn't so worried about getting my parents out of there. Dad could get away with being here in his old jeans and baggy t-shirt, but Mom was wearing a nice dress and professional jacket that practically screamed: "Rob me!"

Once Dad was safely buckled in Mom pulled me aside.

"You can drive right? You've done it with the team before?"

"Yea…" I said cautiously.

She tossed me a pair of keys that she must've pulled from Dad's pocket.

"Take the other car home, I don't want to leave it here overnight," she said glancing around nervously. I knew she was remembering the car we'd seen on the way over here. I looked around and saw some people still staring at us. I didn't think about what I was agreeing to, I just nodded anxiously and motioned for her to get in the car with Dad. I didn't even bother to ask if she'd be okay alone with him, the man was clearly too drunk and high to say his own name, let alone pick a fight.

I thought nothing of driving Dad's car until I was following Mom down the road. I wasn't concerned about crashing, my reflexes were too fast for that, and cars were among the simplest of the technology I knew how to operate. I was worried about getting pulled over by the cops. Two cars traveling so close together at this time of night in this neighborhood was very suspicious. In the end I decided to just lag behind Mom as much as I could and hope for the best.

If I got caught driving without a license, I was in serious trouble. Visions of college scholarships and college acceptances flooding down the drain made me feel slightly ill. I had a miniature heart attack every time I passed a cop car.

_Do I look too young to be driving? Can they even tell since it's after dark? Do They know and not care? _

I finally made it out of the slums and drove carefully home, looking around nervously the whole way there. I let out a huge breath when I finally reached my driveway. Sweat trickled off my palms and down my arms.

I hastily took my hands off the steering wheel and wiped them off on my pants, grimacing at the wet hand-prints that were left behind. I felt a sting in my bottom lip and looked up. The mirror in my car showed me that I'd chewed it raw. I ignored the tang of blood in my mouth and got out so I could help Mom lug Dad inside.

We had to stop twice so he could throw up all over the front path and it took us a few tries to get him up the stairs and onto the porch. My mind flashed to all the alcohol safety videos they showed us in health class in school. I wondered how much he'd had, and if it had reacted with the Crack-Venom. Had he poisoned himself?

We dragged him to the couch and laid him on his side. When things were finally settled all the two of us could do was stare at him.

"I'll watch him tonight, make sure he makes it through the night okay," said Mom softly.

_Translation, she's going to make sure he doesn't die of alcohol poisoning, _the voice in my head said obnoxiously.

"I'll stay up too," I said.

"No, you need to meet your team tomorrow. It's already late, just go to bed," she said firmly.

I obeyed the tone more than the words as I walked towards the stairs.

"And, Wally?"

I turned around.

I saw her eyes observe in the handprints on my jeans and the blood on my lip.

"I'll make sure this doesn't happen again. I didn't want to ask you to drive, but I—I didn't know what else to do," she said helplessly.

"It's no big deal, Mom," I lied.

"It is, and you know it," she said. "I won't put you in that position again. No more driving unless you have a license, okay?"

I nodded shakily and headed up the stairs. I seriously needed to lay down.

When I arrived at the cave the next day I was sleep-deprived and mildly disgusted. The living room in my house smelled horrible. Dad had been sick all through the night and just generally reeked of drunk, sweaty, filthy, man. I was off my crutches now. My legs had finished healing overnight and though I was a teeny bit too sore to run I knew I'd be better this evening. Now if only my arm would heal as fast…

Dad was out cold when I Mom left to take me to the drop-off point. She said the worst over and she would get some sleep when she got home. All I could do was nod. Seriously, how are we supposed to do this every night? What if I'm on a mission and she's alone?

I shook my head. I had no _idea_ what to do. My dad was a druggie, but also the glue that holds us together. Mom told me how screwed we'd be financially if he couldn't work, but it was more than that. Dad was the rock. Always dependable always _there_, or at least, he used to be. I guess that's my job now? I honestly had no clue anymore. All I knew is that Mom had me risk my future over Dad's habit last night by making me break the law. Police don't kid around about driving without a license in Central, I know from my classmates in school that they throw the book at you and then some, and I do _not_ sprint around putting criminals in jail so I can go and join them during my time as a civilian.

I sighed and ran a hand through my hair.

"KF!" Robin came up to greet me.

_Crap._

I could tell by the look on his face that he wanted to talk about yesterday. I tried blindly to remember what lies I'd told him and had a mini heart attack when I realized I'd forgotten just _what_ I'd told him in person and via text yesterday. I was saved by the bell though, or more accurately the bat in the belfry.

The dark night swooped over.

"Kid Flash," he barked.

_He knows, _was my first instinctive thought.

"You're late," he said crankily.

_ Oh, well that's not what I thought was going to happen. I can totally deal with Batman, even if it seems like he hasn't had his coffee today._

He glanced me up and down. I knew for an awful moment that I was probably showing signs of distress even if I didn't look as bad as yesterday my body language and complexion were sure to be a little off.

Batman didn't comment though. He simply said "Let's get started."

I did a mini cheer in my head that Batman was too prideful and cranky to be verbally inquisitive or obviously nosy about anything…despite the fact that he seemed to find out everything about everybody. Still though, I have yet to hear anyone classify Batman as nosy, never mind him spending his free time bugging people and hiding in bushes…

Robin bumped my shoulder with his as we walked together and gave me a frown that spoke a question.

_Is everything okay?_

I just smiled at him sadly and shook my head.

_Not really, but I'm handling it._

Robin patted my shoulder and held out a fist.

_I'm here for you, bro. _He conveyed silently.

I bumped his fist with mine.

_Thanks._

Our silent conversation ended after that.

"Alright," said Martian Manhunter after we entered the room that had been set up and laid down on the slabs that had been placed in there. "Let us begin."


	10. Chapter 10: Failsafe

**Here's the Failsafe one! It was fun to write this. Hopefully it didn't mimic what happened in the episode so closely it was annoying. I wanted to do Wally's perspective without making the information seem repetitive.**

At first the simulation was cool. I was amazed at how realistic everything was. I could see, hear, _feel,_ even smell. I hadn't tried to taste anything yet, but still, it was incredible. My arm was fixed in this simulation, and my legs didn't hurt. It was nice being able to move everything around without hurting anything.

I watched the goings on around me. It was like a big video game, the ultimate virtual reality. I did wince though as the League started dying. I saw Robin go tense as virtual Batman was destroyed. The images were a little _too_ real at times.

I was more than a little ticked off when they killed my Aunt off. It's just a simulation, why did they have to drag her into it? Batman and J'onn _know_ she's my aunt. Why were they doing this? I wanted to make some sort of comment about things being too overdramatic for a simulation, just to lighten the mood, but I remembered our instructions.

_Stay in character,_ they had told us. These simulations weren't easy, we all had to stay focused on what was going on, not how fake it all was.

I sighed as we suited up for the cold bitter land near The Fortress of Solitude. Superboy was still brooding about Superman, not that I could really blame him. He said that he guessed there was a lot about Superman he'd never know he checked himself saying "uh, you know, now" in order to stay in character with the simulation. It irritated me further that the simulation had led us to yet another thing that shoved the fact that Superman was a horrible 'Dad' into Conner's face. When I got out of here I would be having words with Batman and Manhunter.

The ship came up behind Artemis and aimed at her, firing.

_Ah shoot, we were doing so well, _I thought just before the beam hit her.

Everything changed. Every single thought left my mind and I felt terror forced into me as if by someone else. The foreign terror became my own and I was screaming her name.

Several horrible moments later my heart felt cold as I pounded the keyboard in front of me, yelling in pain and rage. M'gann was crying and Robin was gone.

He was inside his own head right now, lost, distanced from the world.

Conner was quiet, but not in the usual way. It was a painful silence.

Kaldur was a soldier, he was hurt but he pulled us together, or at least as together as we could be without Artemis.

I wiped away tears as memories of her disintegration flooded through my mind.

_Why didn't I save her? Why? I can run across the country in a couple of hours and yet I couldn't push her out of the way? Why didn't I run back for her and carry her in the first place. I'm the fastest. I should have made sure everyone could make it. All she needed was a couple of seconds, just a couple of seconds. Why? Why did I let this happen? How could I do this? She was only fifteen. She was strong and beautiful. It's my fault. I let this happen. It's my entire fault._

We rode in like Calvary on M'gann's Bio-ship. We took out enemies and helped the U.S. military_. _I almost cried when Kaldur referred to us as Justice League. There was no Barry to back us up, no Batman. No Aunt Iris either come to think of it. So many precious people, gone, were my parents okay? Had they made it?

What about Dad? He can't go out and get his fix with a war going on outside. Would he survive without it? Would he try and get it anyway? What about Artemis's family? Were they okay? Even if they were alive I knew that they wouldn't be okay.

I knew Artemis at least had a mother, she had mentioned her once. How were we supposed find Mrs. Whatever-Artemis's-last-name-was and explain to her that we'd let her baby girl die right in front of us?

We had to move quickly, but we couldn't help but slow our steps as we entered the Justice League headquarters in D.C.

Our footfalls echoed throughout the building as we looked at the ruined statues in front of us.

"They're really gone," Robin sounded stunned, like he was realizing it for the first time. I felt the same way. It was only now truly hitting me. The JLA were gone. Why had this not affected me before? How come this hadn't really upset me until now? I remember seeing them die…yet I had felt nothing. How was that possible? Am I that heartless?

Then M'gann found Martian Manhunter. I looked around, I was excited for a moment, hoping my Uncle would crawl out of the stonework too. Kaldur was skeptical about him but M'gann had some explanation about density shifting. Robin leapt on it, excitedly saying that the ray must've scrambled his brains. I wondered what he was doing under that rock but then it came to me. Maybe that ray had a disorienting effect. Martian Manhunter was confused and me and the team didn't get upset when we saw our mentors die. I felt fine when the cannon aimed at Artemis, I didn't freak out until she was hit. We must have known something; the ray radiation must have confused it out of us. What did we know? I thought for a moment then I remembered the sound and light from the beams and I realized, he was teleported.

I told everyone. I was so excited. Something about Robin's hesitation and the little voice of logic in the back of my head sent of little warning bells, but I ignored every last gong and forced myself to think of seeing my aunt, and uncle, and calling Artemis beautiful like I did in Bialya instead of annoying like I usually do because I'll be so happy to see her.

I was out fighting when the next assault came. I saw the Bio-ship get disintegrated and felt M'gann's pain as it was destroyed.

_Huh, maybe the teleportation severed the link? _I wondered as I ran towards the building with the others. The fight started up in there as we pulled back.

The fight blew out a wall, a man was screaming. I flinched and moved. He might be crushed…Kaldur threw me into the Zeta tube.

That was the last I saw of him.

_It's okay,_ I thought, _he was teleported._

Robin took over after that. He still sounded skeptical of my theory, but he was raised by Batman, of course he was skeptical. The poor kid was probably trying not to get his hopes up too.

I hated the way M'gann yelled at Robin though. She was mad that Robin told Superboy to be the distraction; she accused him of treating him like a sacrifice.

The kid was just doing his best. Robin doesn't think of people as sacrifices, how dare she say that?

Despite the confidence in his voice when he explained his choice, I could tell he was hurt after her comment.

I felt uneasy as I assured Superboy that he would only be teleported. For some reason the words sounded too good to be true. Maybe…No, no, they were teleported. Everything will be okay.

We sent out a message to the people of Earth. I found myself talking about how new heroes would come even if old ones were gone. Why was I saying this? I was talking about the heroes like they were dead, but that couldn't be true.

I shook off my doubts and suited up to take on the mothership. I knew what to do. I heard the mental link go blank for a minute as we waited to strike, though Conner smiled. M'gann had probably told him she loved him.

We waited for Superboy to cause a distraction, he kicked a lot of butt only a few short seconds, I'll give him that. I had pulled Robin as tight to my back as I could and I felt him brace for the inevitable wind sheer that my running cam with. I managed to leap over the gap and onto the ship.

I couldn't hang onto Robin, but he just rolled to his feet and I ran behind him as we moved further in, making sure not to get ahead of him. The aliens outside may only teleport, but who knows what the ones in here do?

We almost got hit, but M'gann and J'onn helped us. We were covering good ground when M'gann collapsed.

I went a little numb, but I knelt down next to her to assure her that though our connection with Conner had vanished, he'd be fine, he was only teleported.

J'onn contradicted me, saying he realized now that the others were dead, not teleported but I grabbed his shirt and yelled at him. Artemis couldn't be dead, and Kaldur, Conner…I hadn't even let myself entertain the idea of their deaths.

Robin grabbed me. "Stop it, KF!" he shouted. I felt the pain in his words as he told me about the lack of results in his scans. I heard the words full of agony. "They're not _here." _That exact sentence, he didn't want to say the word gone, I knew it. None of us did, but he forced himself to say it anyway, to drive the point home because M'gann, J'onn, and I were all he had and he couldn't have me going AWOL into a land of delusions. And if what he was saying was true…no it _is_ true, then we needed each other.

It hurt to immeasurably lose everyone else on the team, but Robin and I have known each other longer than we have Conner, Kaldur, and Artemis put together. We were close, and with Bruce and Barry gone…neither of us could stand to lose a brother too.

"But our mission still holds purpose, to _destroy_ this mothership," he said an edge in his voice. It was pain turned to raw determination. M'gann forced herself to get up and then moved on following Robin's lead. I turned my sadness into anger and growled as I followed them, ready to break things, hurt aliens, take vengeance for what they had done to us.

When we got to the power-core the emotions were shoved roughly aside adrenaline filled me and I took in every detail of what was going on.

Robin ran towards the core but suddenly braced himself. His cape picked up and he fell, sliding towards the core.

_No!_ I thought and ran towards him, momentarily forgetting that the combined weight of us made for a greater gravitational pull, assuming it was gravity that was pulling us towards the core. We were both gliding through the air when Robin took out his grapple. He grunted with the strain of holding us both in place with one arm and I felt irritated with myself for being a dead weight.

Aliens appeared, but M'gann and J'onn took them out. M'gann lowered us to the core.

We landed and Robin took off what I thought had just been spare weapons but now I realized they were bombs.

"You knew," I told Robin. It hurt that he knew, but I understood that he'd been humoring my theory because he knew I'd break without it. In that moment I was stunned by the boy's strength. I felt like I did when I first met Robin, the boy wonder, the kid that could do amazing things without any powers, someone to be looked up to even though he was younger.

Robin didn't acknowledge my comment, he had to focus, I knew that. If he didn't throw himself into the mission he would break down like I did, only he had too much sense and training to go into denial as I did. Whenever all this caught up to him, it wouldn't be pretty.

He had given us four minutes. In theory that was plenty of time, but theory can bite me because 224 seconds later we were still inside the mothership.

The doors had closed and I said perfect in my sarcastic way because really, with less then twenty seconds inside ticking time bomb, what else could you say?

Robin ordered the Martians to go, claiming we'd blow the doors, but even then I knew he was signing our death warrant. I knew the minute the doors closed. I was just glad he'd thought up a way to save M'gann and J'onn, though I wish he could have saved himself too.

The two left and we watched a few precious seconds tick away. Robin looked at me, his face a little vulnerable.

_KF, _his face seemed to say.

_I know,_ I communicated silently with a nod.

We pulled out our weapons and did the only thing we could; we went down fighting.

When we woke up I was disoriented, but I saw Artemis, Robin, I saw everyone. We were in the cave with J'onn, Batman, Captain Marvel, and Red Tornado, waking up as if from a nightmare, which made no sense.

The others looked as confused as I was, but they didn't have the ability to think in super speed. I knew before they explained it that the training exercise had gone wrong.

Sweat and possibly tears were pouring down Robin's face. Artemis looked sick. Superboy was clinging to Wolf, taking as much comfort from the dog as the dog did from him. Kaldur looked wary and a little paranoid, not trusting his eyes. M'gann started crying when Batman explained what was going on. All of us were kind of zoned out, trying to keep it together.

It took several minutes before anyone said anything after that. Robin excused himself to use the bathroom and Batman moved to go after him, but just then, a call came in. I couldn't help but feel irritated on Robin's behalf that Batman didn't just have someone else take care of it as he caught up to the kid, but apparently assistance was needed on a crisis in Colorado and Batman couldn't _possibly_ put his son's feelings before the mission for a change. At least he didn't have to leave. Captain Marvel went so that the mentors could be with their protégés. Superboy and J'onn took charge of M'gann, leading her away to the living area to sit her down and get her a glass of water. Wolf followed, his tail was between his legs.

Batman stayed on the line talking to Superman about some villain or another while Kaldur waited patiently off to the side so he could see if Batman was going to give us any instructions.

Artemis was still sitting there, looking worn out and dismayed.

I walked over to her.

"You okay?" I asked.

"Yea, I'm fine, just sorry I got myself 'killed' and caused all this."

"It was train for fail," I reassured her. "One of us would have 'died' eventually, in fact, we all did in the end. I'm just glad you're alive and…I'm glad that you didn't have to go through all that," I said softly. She looked at me in surprise at my gentle tone and I patted her shoulder.

She gave me an awkward smile and stood up just as Batman ended the video call. He turned to me, Artemis, and Kaldur

"I'll be calling your mentors to pick you up," said Batman shortly.

"It's okay, I'll just head home," said Artemis, clearly desperate to get out of the cave and back into the world where there were buildings and trees and people, and none of the terrors we'd seen in the simulation.

"It's not open for debate," said Batman.

_Translation; the majority of you have just been traumatized. I'm not just going to let you wander off alone._

I was with Artemis, I had no desire to stick around and wait for my Uncle to come and fuss over me, and if he's so worried about our mental health why not go after the kid that vanished over ten minutes ago?

He should just go find Robin and leave us to think before we have to deal with our mentors. I haven't even sorted things out for myself yet.

One minute it was all an exercise the next Artemis was dead, then I thought she was teleported, then I realized I was wrong, then I was fighting for my life, then I was completely sure I would die there with Robin, and now I'm here. Seriously? Disorienting. Completely chaotic.

I must've looked as dazed as I felt because Batman called my mentor first. Flash wasn't able to answer his com though, since he was away working on whatever crisis Captain Marvel had been sent to aid with. Kaldur came and spoke with Artemis while Batman called Green Arrow.

My mind wandered again to my honorary little brother. The idea of Robin, alone, in some unknown part of the cave after experiencing psychological trauma, didn't sit well with me, so I headed over to the doorway that Robin had disappeared through. Batman caught my eye as I was leaving and I nodded at him.

"_I've got him," _I conveyed silently, trying not to glare at the man who was partly responsible for our pain.

Batman nodded his approval and a miniscule amount of tension left his shoulders as he turned back to the call he was making.

I shook my head and made my way through the hall until I made my way to Robin's room.

I listened at the door, but I didn't hear a sound, which meant nothing. This was _Robin _after all. I opened the door quickly without knocking. As I said, this was _Robin_. If he was in there and didn't want to be found, he could easily find some hidden escape route in the room or find a way to hide himself if given enough notice.

I saw Robin sitting on his bed. His hand was on his face covering his eyes; he had clearly heard the door start to open. His other hand was groping for his sunglasses, which were lying way outside of his grabbing distance.

_He must be feeling bad if he didn't think to make sure his sunglasses were within immediate reach. _I thought.

"Chill, Rob, it's just me," I said softly as I closed the door behind me.

Robin didn't remove his hand from his eyes; instead he drew his knees up to his chest, folded his arms over top of them, and buried his face in the nook he'd created.

I froze up for a second when I realized he had been, scratch that, still _was_ crying. His shoulders were shaking slightly. I've only seen Robin cry twice, _ever_, one was when he'd inhaled fear gas and the other was when he'd been injured so bad he was half delirious anyway.

I took a quiet breath, trying to think of how to approach the situation and walked over and sat on the bed with my legs folded up like a pretzel, facing him. He didn't look up until I nudged him.

He shifted his posture enough to peek at me with one, slightly red and watery eye.

I held out my arms straight in front of me, my fingers splayed. Robin turned away, wiping his nose on the elbow of his hoodie and sniffling a little. He located his glasses and slipped them on before turning to me and accepting the silent invitation. He wrapped his palms around the inside of my wrists and I wrapped my palms around the inside of his, forming the sort of arm-lock that trapeze artists use.

Robin had done this with me the first and only time he'd seen me truly and completely upset, which was a little over a year ago when my grandma died. When I asked him about it later he confided that it was something his dad used to do with him when he was upset and needed to talk. It was the trapeze artist's version of a bro-hug.

We let our arms rest on the bed between us and looked at each other.

"Whatever is said here stays here," I assured him.

Robin gave me a shaky nod and took a shuddery breath.

"I don't want to talk about it," he mumbled. His cheeks were flushed with the embarrassment of being caught crying.

"You're going to have to at some point," I told him, feeling like a bit of a hypocrite given the fact that I still hadn't told anyone about Dad, but still…

"I'm going to end up talking about this with Batman, you know how he is, he'll want a full 'de-briefing,'" he said bitterly.

"You know he only puts it like that because he's too awkward to just say that he wants you to talk to him about it," I assured him.

"I know, but he just doesn't understand sometimes. Things don't get to him the way they get to me. I wish I could be more like him and just not feel," he said, his voice cracking and full of self-loathing at his own weakness.

I let my eyes meet his and said; "Batman has feelings too, Rob," I told him. Robin already knew this of course but it could be easy to forget that the man was only human. "The thing with him is that he learned how to push them aside very well, but there's a downside to that. You know that; you know it's hard for him to truly let himself feel_ anything _sometimes. It's hard on him the way he does things, and I think that mimicking his coping mechanism of sweeping things under the rug is a really crappy idea."

_Wow Wally, you get the award for hypocrite of the day._

Robin sighed and hung his head.

"I'm tried to be like Batman," he whispered. "I sacrificed _everything_ for the sake of the mission. Even Superboy," he sniffled a little.

"You made a sound decision. You took charge when we had no leader and did everything you could to keep us going, and don't dehumanize yourself. You and I both know that you didn't think of Supes as some pawn to be sacrificed.

"But M'gann was right! I did offer him up as a sacrifice!"

"Screw what M'gann thinks she's a rookie," I said angrily. "It was our best and pretty much only option. You did what needed to be done as leader," I said firmly.

"I don't want to be leader then," said Robin, his voice breaking as he choked on tears. I was leader for all of five seconds and I got us all killed!"

"It was train for fail Robin. You could have been freaking Chuck Norris to the seventh power and had a flipping fairy godmother and we_ still_ would have had the same outcome. Don't beat yourself up," I told him. "You were stronger then anyone. Who else could have led us through that? Superboy's more of a soldier than a thinker, M'gann was a mess, and I was in Lala land because I couldn't accept what was happening. None of what happened is your fault."

Robin chocked again and withdrew his arms from mine and pulled his knees back up so he could hide again.

_Oh, crap, what now? _I wondered. I wasn't bad with crying people per-say, but I think anyone would hesitate when dealing with a bat.

I cautiously scooted up next to him and pulled him into a bro-approved side hug.

Robin tensed up and I gave him a small squeeze. He hesitated slightly, then relaxed. I just patted his arm as he tried to make his shoulders stopped shaking. We didn't speak, just sat there. After a bit Robin pulled himself together and sat up properly, wiping tears off his glasses before putting them on again.

"Uh, thanks, KF, but I think I need some time to myself now."

He didn't look at me, but I could read the silent message.

_I'm fine now, go away so I can crawl into a hole and stitch together my shattered pride._

"Sure, dude," I said with a smile standing up.

_No need to be embarrassed, and I promise we'll never speak of this again to anyone. _Was my silent reply.

I left the room and walked down the hall I almost ran into Batman and Flash as they turned a corner, probably looking for me and Rob.

"Is he alright?" Batman asked at the same moment my uncle asked, "Are you okay?"

"He's fine—ish," I said, shooting my Uncle nod and then looking at Batman.

My Uncle put a hand on my shoulder and Batman sighed.

"I never meant it to go this far,"

"Yeah, because what happened before Artemis died didn't screw with our minds _at all_," I hissed. I felt the irritation I'd felt at the beginning of the simulation spark up again, turning into an angry blaze.

My Uncle looked startled and Batman's eyes narrowed.

"Seriously, what were you thinking? Why did we have to watch you all die, oh scratch that, Aqualad didn't have to watch _his _mentor die on those stupid display screens. Why did you have to single yourself out? Did you seriously have to dramatize your death in front of Robin?"

"Kid, calm down," my Uncle said trying to soothe me.

"And why did you drag my Aunt Iris into it?" I yelled ignoring him. I felt my uncle go still and I plowed on wanting to cause Batman as much grief as possible for the moment. Really, I wanna know. What was with that stupid little skit you put on with Flash and Zatara. Why did you have my Aunt watch him die dramatically. Why?"

I was shouting now.

"Why did you bring up Superman's fortress of Solitude, why did you make people mistake Superboy for Superman? Do you know how much that bothered him? Why did you show us all that crap, make us watch. You think we haven't seen worse? You think we need those images burned into our nightmares on top of people screaming, and kids dying, and all the other crap we've seen?" I bellowed.

No one moved. I don't think Batman's seen me this angry before, I don't think anyone has.

It was quiet. "I wanted you all to be prepared for what might happen in a worst case scenar—"

"You think I don't know what might happen? That all of us don't know that one day you and the other JLA members might go on a mission and not come back, that I don't know that my aunt has to rush into danger instead of out of it just to make some stupid headline for an idiotic paper? You don't know anything!" I ranted.

There was a long pause as I glared at Batman.

"I'm sorry," said the man quietly.

Batman never apologized, but no, this was Bruce. He'd put Batman away _finally. _I was glad, because what Robin really needed right now was Bruce.

"Robin's in his room," was all I said, and I turned and walked away.

I heard my Uncle zip after me and felt a hand on my arm.

"Kid are you?—"

"I want my Mom," I said stiffly pulling out of his grip. I was thoroughly worn out and I wasn't in the mood to talk to someone I've been lying to the past few days. I wanted my parents. People who had no idea what I was going through and therefore left me alone when I asked to be left alone. I wanted to go _home, _because only hours ago I was sure my dad was going to die because he hadn't gotten his drug fix due to the war.

"Oh," said my Uncle. He sounded surprised and slightly hurt. It was never "I want my Mom" before when I was hurting over the years, it was always "I want my Uncle," or "I want Flash." I could tell he was confused.

"Did I…do something to upset you kid?" asked my Uncle worriedly.

"No," I said with a sigh.

"I just…need to see them. I was wondering if they'd died all through the simulation and now I…I just need to see them."

"Okay, kid, but if you need to talk tonight, call me. It doesn't matter what time it is, okay?"

I nodded and we both made our way to the exit.

When I got home Flash briefly explained what had happened to my Mom. She gave me a hug and made me dinner. Things were okay.

Dad had woken up and he had cleaned up and he was extra nice to me. After what I'd just seen I wasn't too picky about my Dad's habit at the moment I was just glad to se him and Mom alive. Things were okay.

We watched a movie together, it was funny, we laughed a lot. We were having a good time and when Uncle Barry called to check on me she told him cheerfully that things were okay.

We had some ice-cream from the freezer and I was feeling calm by then. I didn't notice the time. Or the fact that the sun was setting. I didn't notice how many hours had gone by because for that moment _Things were okay._

Then the time came for Dad to leave. Mom insisted that she go with him and that I stay behind. That was_ not_ okay.

So I followed them in stealth mode of my Kid Flash costume because my legs were feeling better. I watched the drug deal go down, watch my dad get in the _gun wielding _drug dealer's face because he didn't agree with the price. The drug dealer's eyes fell on my mom who was waiting in the car and he leered that was _not _okay.

I saw him whisper something to my dad after than and saw my Dad go pale and hand him the money. The dealer laughed and gave him the drugs, which was _not_ okay.

I followed them out of the neighborhood and then sped up so I could beat them home. When I heard them pull up Dad was shouting and stumbling around half crazed. He pushed Mom down onto the lawn which was _really_ not okay.

So I ran out there and he tried to punch me, so I twisted his arm behind his back and marched him inside. He tried to punch me when I let him go. I dodged and he got so mad he spun around and hit mom. Not. Okay.

I punched him in the jaw and he went down hard, knocked out cold. My mom screamed and checked him. He was fine but you'd think I'd shattered his jaw the way she screamed at me.

He woke up five minutes later. I think he forgot what had happened because he turned on the television, demanded a beer, and drank himself to sleep.

"What were you thinking?"

"He hit you!"

"He can't help himself!"

"He still hit you!"

"You didn't have to punch him!"

"It worked didn't it?"

"Go to your room, you are grounded!"

"But, Mom—"

"No!"

I went to my room and laid down.

_Another night. He hit her again to night, and who knows what that drug dealer threatened to do if Dad didn't pay up. Those are the kind of scum that killed Dick's parents. I am not about to let mine die the same way. My parents may not swing on a trapeze but there are plenty of other _accidents _that they could have on the way home some dark night._

_But what do I do, how do I fix it, there has to be a way I can do better, how can I do better?_

Batman's voice flashed _"it was a train for fail exercise. No matter what the team accomplished the scenario was designed to grow worse."_

"_It was train for fail Robin. You could have been freaking Chuck Norris to the seventh power and had a flipping fairy godmother and we still would have had the same outcome. Don't beat yourself up," _I had told him.

"No," I whispered at the ceiling.

_"Kid, whoever this is, he needs help. You can't just let people who are on this stuff run around, they're a danger to everyone, including themselves," Robin had told me._

I put my face in my hands. I had to tell. There were no other options. It was like the simulation. No matter what I did I would lose. I needed help. I needed someone who wasn't too involved. I couldn't get Uncle Barry, I needed someone unconnected to the situation. I needed someone who could give me advice _good, _unbiased advice. Dad wouldn't go willingly into rehab; he'd need to be sent there by the court. I'd have to turn him in and if that happened he'd need a lawyer, a good one. Lawyers cost money though, which we didn't have…

I needed a hero. One who stayed stoic and unflinching, ne that wouldn't fuss over me, that would just tell me what I needed to do to deal with things. Helpful, but detached, subtle, able to keep a secret.

_Stoic…Detached…Secretive_

I stood up and turned towards the door. The next thing I knew I was in my costume and running. Out of the city, across states. It took time and cost me fuel, but I moved as fast as I could. I felt a sense of panic.

_What if he's not there?" _I asked myself.

_Rob a bank and if that doesn't get his attention egg his secret lair, then he'll come kill you. _Said an unhelpful voice in the back of my mind.

I shook my head and zipped into Gotham and ran up the side of a building. I tried to cover ground but there seemed to be a crime on every block tonight.

After tying up a third band of thugs I climbed onto a roof and felt a chill run up my spine. I turned around and Batman was there.

I opened my mouth to speak but checked myself, looking around to see that he was alone.

"Where's Robin?" I asked.

"I kept him home tonight, he is not up for visitors," he said coldly.

I sighed in relief.

"Actually, I wanted to talk to you," I said nervously.

"If this is about the training exercise…"

"What?" I asked genuinely confused. "What training ex—Oh! That one."

"You forgot, after all the fuss you made earlier?" challenged Batman.

"I've got bigger problems, that's why I came here, I needed advice."

"Why not go to your Uncle?"

_Man this is like pulling teeth._

"I promised I wouldn't, actually I promised I wouldn't tell anyone at all but something has to be done and I figure the least I can do is keep my dad's sister from finding out...you, you can't tell my uncle, okay?"

Batman looked at me. "I won't say anything unless he needs to know," said Batman bluntly.

I stared at him, and then panicked.

_I can't do it, he'll tell._

"You know what? It's fine, I mean, I can't go running to the adults for every little problem, I'll work it out. Sorry for wasting your time."

I backed away and turned around, but a hand caught my shoulder.

"Wally" I heard a voice say gruffly.

I didn't turn around.

There was a sigh.

"Look at me, Wally" the voice that said this was different.

I turned around. Batman still had his cowl on, but something made me realize that I wasn't talking to Batman at the moment. He was frowning, in what looked like _concern_. The person that was standing there with a hand on my shoulder was not our harsh mission advisor that I had been mad at earlier, but the adoptive father of my best friend. The man who would actually _smile _every once in a while, the man who would come over to my Uncle's house for dinner with Richard when he had a business meeting in Central City, the man who would chuckle at me and Richard's antics.

"What's wrong?" he asked. It was a father's voice, and though I wasn't able to admit it to myself just then. I really needed a father right then, even if he wasn't mine…scratch that, _especially_ if he wasn't mine. It hurt me to have to keep things a secret from my dad and Uncle Barry, but Mr. Wayne wasn't directly involved, Mr. Wayne wouldn't be as biased…

I took a breath and told him everything.


	11. Chapter 11: Dread

**Ariel Yanne Remark asked me to update, she also recommended that I talk about Wally's civilian life and his school chums a little more, so I plucked a few characters out of the DC universe and made them into Wally's civilian friends. Five points to Gryffindor if you can figure out what show I borrowed the characters from! :) This chapter's kind of a transition chapter between last chapter and the next. Hopefully it fits in with the rest of the story and isn't a let down.**

I was a hot mess when I woke up that morning when I woke up. I was pale, there were bags under my eyes, and I was so stressed out that anything I ate, even dry toast, gave me indigestion. I'd sucked it up though and went to school. I'd much rather be there than stuck at home with Dad all day. I wasn't ready to look my parents in the face, not after I'd betrayed their secret.

So I walked to school and prepared myself for a very _long_ day. I went into first period Chemistry class and was greeted by the 'hot lab partner that I'd told my Uncle about. I'd met her the first day of school when we were assigned as lab partners. She was new to this school and I'd been assigned to show her around. She was a real firecracker, right off the bat. She was sassy, determined, and didn't take crap from anyone. I remember her shoving a cheerleader into a locker while I was showing her around the school because the chick had made fun of her hair, which was a pale bubble gum pink.

"Sup, Bill-nye?" she asked, using the nickname she'd given me when she figured out I was a science nerd.

"Nothing much, _Melony,_" I said emphasizing her full name just to tick her off.

"It's Jinx," she growled.

"It's Melony until you stop calling me Bill-nye," I said smoothly, getting out my lab coat and goggles, today was a lab day.

She rolled her eyes, dug out a scrunchie, and pulled back her long pink hair.

I pulled out my lab manual and scanned through the procedure. I winced as my stomach contracted and gave a strange gurgle; I still wasn't really able to shake off the nausea.

Jinx had was not unused to my stomach making strange noises (it growled a lot when I got really hungry) but she still looked over at me.

"You look pale," she commented.

"I'm fine," I replied.

"You were out sick Friday," she countered.

"Well, I'm still a little under the weather, but it's noting I can't handle," I said, pulling out beakers and test tubes. I couldn't stop my hands from shaking though as I maneuvered them, and the cast wasn't really helping my coordination either.

Melony—or _Jinx_ as she prefers to be called, put her hands on her hips and looked at me firmly.

"You should go to the nurse."

"Jinx, it's fine really," I said, starting to get frustrated. "Stop being such a mother hen," I added.

Jinx puffed up indignantly, as she always did when people implied that she was a softie in any way, shape, or form.

"Well fine! But if you throw up anywhere _near _me, I'll kick you're a—"

"Melony," our teacher—Mrs. Duke—interrupted warningly as she walked by our table.

Jinx glared at the woman, but said nothing. She'd already gotten two detentions in this class, one for swearing and one for berating Mrs. Duke for her giving her detention for swearing.

I set up the procedure without really having to think. It was an easy experiment, so I just let my mind wander as I set things up.

Despite my reluctance to think of what had happened last night I found myself dwelling on the conversation I had with Batman.

"_You did the right thing," _Batman had said calmly after I finished telling him about the drugs, about the violence, I had even told him about my lies to my uncle and about having to drive the car home illegally.

_ My shoulders slumped a little; the words brought me more relief than I could even comprehend._

_ "Really?" _I had asked. I had been so desperate for reassurance that I hadn't screwed up. I'm still not convinced that I did the right thing.

I sighed as I lit the Bunsen burner. Jinx was trying to confirm something about the procedure, I agreed with what she was saying without really thinking, though I did take a moment to tell her to mind her sleeve. Jinx had a nasty habit of not watching her clothes when she worked around the flame. She'd had to go to the nurse during our first lab this year because she'd ended up burning herself.

I shook my head at my friend's seemingly perpetual case of bad luck and my mind wandered back to my conversation with Batman.

_ "Yes, it's good that you came to me with this. We can get your father the help that he needs." _Batman had sounded so kind and _reassuring_ at the time that I had found myself sighing in relief.

_ "So what do I do?" I asked, now eager for instruction, for the solution he would surely have. He was Batman; he always had good plans._

_ "Go home and get some rest, I'll handle it from here." _

That's when things went down hill. I remembered the effect those words had had on me.

_ His tone was final and I realized that he was taking the situation completely out of my hands. My stomach froze up._

_ "Wait, no…" I said, starting to panic. "No, let me help, I need to help."_

_ "You've done what you can—" started Batman. _

_ "I can do more! I can help, I swear I can, I can fix it, I promise!" _I had said frantically.

I bit my lip thoughtfully as I measured out fifty milliliters of some substance or another as the procedure instructed. In retrospect the amount of panic I was showing was a little extreme, but it'd been a long night and the idea of Batman completely taking the situation out of my hands was just too much. After all I'd been through I couldn't stand the thought of just standing back and losing what little control I had over the situation. I just couldn't take that.

"_Calm down," _Batman, no Bruce, had ordered softly in response to my miniature melt down.

It's hard to describe the tone he had used. The only time I've ever heard him talk like that before was when Robin, Flash, and I were on a mission in the country and a horse had gotten spooked. He had managed to talk the skittish creature into calmness in less than a minute. It was weird, but the big bad dark night was able to produce a voice so _soothing_ that it just… made you relax, instinctively.

_ "There isn't anything else you can do in the position you're in except go home, get some sleep and act like nothing happened," _he had said.

I shook my head in irritation; both from the memory and the fact that the cheap school lab goggles were making my face itch.

I'd tried to argue with Batman, but he was _Batman_, it didn't take him long to manipulate me into doing things his way. I didn't even realize how many of my buttons he'd pushed until I was in the zeta beam heading back to Central (I was kicking myself for running from Central to Gotham when I could have zeta-ed there, but I'd forgotten about them, us side kicks weren't authorized to use the transports until recently) he'd managed to shake me off without giving me any real information about what he was planning to do and that made me really nervous.

"Is this right?" asked Jinx sounding skeptical.

"Yea," I said absentmindedly.

I barely even paid attention as Jinx added something to the mixture we had simmering over the Bunsen burner—that is, until it started bubbling over aggressively.

I shouted a swear word that made everyone in the class look up in surprise and I grabbed Jinx by the arm and jerked her away from the volatile substance, which had started spitting. She stumbled, but I caught her and steered her a safe distance away from the concoction.

Mrs. Duke saw what was going on and hit the emergency shut off for the gas burners. Every Bunsen burner turned off as the gas supply stopped flowing. My teacher then shooed us all away so she could safely contain and clean up whatever monstrosity Jinx had created.

It took about fifteen minutes for her to get the class up and running again, at which point it was clear that me and Jinx would have to start from scratch for the lab, something that we didn't have time for. Mrs. Duke sighed and told us both to go out into the hall to wait for her as she gave the class some instructions on which section of the lab they could skip so that everyone could finish on time.

As soon as we got out into the hall Jinx turned to me looking upset.

"I'm so sorry! It was all my fault, I read the instructions wrong, I shouldn't have added that acid!" she said sounding both frustrated with herself and incredibly stressed out.

"No, Jinx, it's not your fault. You asked me if you should add it or not and I said yes without actually paying attention to what you were asking. You didn't do anything wrong," I said with a sigh.

"I beg to differ," said a stiff voice behind us.

I turned and saw Mrs. Duke.

"Mrs. Duke, it wasn't her fault," I said honestly.

"It wasn't," Mrs. Duke agreed, "it was _both _your faults. The pair of you are partners and you need to work together and be mindful of your surroundings. Melony, you should have read the instructions more carefully; in eight years of teaching this experiment I have _never_ had anything like this happen. There's no excuse for it," she said angrily. Her eyes shone with a furious gleam as she turned to me.

"As for you, Wally, where have you been today? Every time I look over you're staring into space, we are not having class on Mars today, get your butt back down to Earth, and get your head in the game.

What if that substance had hit someone? Someone could have been seriously hurt! I am _extremely _disappointed in _both _of you."

She glared at the pair of.

"I'm tempted to give you both an F for the day, since you caused a hazardous situation in my class _and _failed to perform the experiment, but if you both go home and write me a two page reflection on where you went wrong today, what you could improve on, and the violations in lab safety that occurred, then I'm willing to give you both a C," she said angrily.

"Yes Ma'am," Jinx and I said together, looking at the ground. She wasn't nearly as scary as Batman or Black Canary but the woman could be fierce when she wanted to be. Poor Jinx looked so disappointed in herself.

"Jinx, go clean up your workstation, I need to have a word with Wally," she said coldly.

_Oh, crap. _I thought to myself as Melony scurried away giving me a look that clearly stated _"I feel so sorry for you right now."_

I braced myself as the woman turned her full attention to me.

She turned to me, opened her mouth, closed it, turned away and sighed, running a hand through her hair, clearly calming herself down.

"Okay, Wally, what's the deal?" she said looking at me. Her anger had died a little bit and she was staring at me now as if she were studying me.

"What do you mean?" I asked nervously.

"You're my best student, Wally, you seem to know the information before I even teach it half the time…"

_Probably because I do, _I thought.

"…and you've always done very well in lab, you're always the most enthusiastic and the most _careful _the worst I'd ever expect out of _you_ is a broken test tube! But today, you were acting like a zombie and you were the source of a situation that was downright dangerous. It's not like you."

I blushed.

"I'm sorry, I just…don't feel too good I was out sick Friday and I still feel a bit off," I said holding my cast up for emphasis.

"If you're not feeling well go to the nurse!" she said exasperatedly.

"Sorry," I said sheepishly.

"You should be! You know how important it is to be able to focus on what you're doing," she snapped.

"I know, I know, I just didn't want to leave Melony to do it alone," I said.

"…Okay, I don't blame you for that," she muttered shaking her head in exasperation. "How you can manage to cause such a violent reaction with such simple chemicals…"

"Her nickname _is_ Jinx," I said trying to ease the tension.

Mrs. Duke glared at me and I averted my eyes.

"Whatever, you're both impossible, get back in there and I'll write you a pass for the nurse," she said shaking her head.

I followed her back to her desk where she scribbled out a pass.

"Take your stuff with you, class'll be ending soon and I don't want your crap lying around," she groused. I knew by her tone she was just blowing smoke at this point. She's one of those people who _enjoys_ being cranky, kind of like Artemis…

I shot Melony a reassuring smile as I gathered my stuff and left the classroom.

I turned the corner and once I was out of sight of the classroom I crumpled up the nurse's pass and stuffed it into my pocket and headed towards the vending machines, trying to think of the best place to go and hide until my next class started.

A few hours later I was at lunch holding my tray. My friend Seemore grinned sympathetically at me as I sat at our usual table. He was a skinny boy who had a tendency to wear big thick-rimmed glasses.

"Jinxie told me you got chewed out by Mrs. Duke," he said seeming torn between laughing at me and feeling bad for me.

Jinx came by with her box lunch and smacked Seemore in the arm.

"It's not funny!" she whined "I thought she was gonna _kill _us!"

She turned to me.

"I'm surprised you didn't go home, Mrs. Duke sent you to the nurse didn't she?"

"Yeah, well, I sort of skipped out on that."

"Dude, why?" demanded Seemore, "I'd have thought you of all people would be all over the chance to skip out on class!" he exclaimed, "and you don't look so hot right now either," he added, eyeing me up.

"I know, I know, but I'm behind in English and I can't afford to miss class today. If I fail in that class then my parents will totally ground me," I said, rolling my eyes. Sure this wasn't _why_ I hadn't decided to go home, but there was a lot of truth in that excuse, something that made me feel a little better.

"That sucks, dude," said Seemore.

"I know," I grumbled, forcing radioactive cafeteria food down my throat.

Seemore snapped his fingers.

"Hey I know what'll cheer you up, me, you, and Jinx can have a video game fest on Friday if you're feeling better," he said.

"I can't, I promised to take Gizmo to this kiddie sci-fi movie he's been wanting to see," Jinx said rolling her eyes.

"Gizmo" is Jinx's little brother, the two of them lived with their older cousin Mammoth (apparently weird nicknames run in her family.)

"We could go with you guys," said Seemore, giving her puppy dog eyes.

I tried not to smirk. Seemore, who I had been friends with since starting high school, had happened to be present that first day of school when Jinx was roughing up that cheerleader.

For him, it was love at first sight. Seeing a petite, fairy like girl with blemish free, china doll skin and sleek, long hair (never mind the fact that it was _pink_) putting one of the meanest girls in school in her place was, as Seemore had put it "terrifying, yet strangely hot, like watching Wonder Woman take out a villain."

The poor kid was head over heels for the girl but didn't have the guts to tell her. I'd tried to coax the kid into asking her out, but he lacked the confidence. I did the best I could to help him out, dropping hints to Jinx, refraining from flirting with her, like _ever, _but the girl remained oblivious.

"Okay, sure, if you don't mind getting your ear chewed off about how he met Kid Flash," she said laughing slightly.

"He met Kid Flash?" I asked, confused, running through all my missions in my mind trying to remember if I'd seen a little boy (I haven't met the kid, so I don't know what he looks like.)

"Oh, right, you weren't here Friday so I didn't get a chance to tell you," she rolled her eyes. "You know that airhead aunt of mine I told you about? The one we call Mother-May-I because she's such a stickler for grammar?" she asked.

"Yea?" I replied.

"Well, she was _supposed_ to be watching Gizmo Thursday night. She took him downtown to do some shopping and _of course_, the rogues started attacking. She lost track of Gizmo because she wasn't paying attention and my _idiot_ brother ran straight into the battle because he wanted to meet Kid Flash," she shook her head and continued to retell the battle I'd fought against Trickster.

_Huh, guess pudgy lady wasn't his mom after all. What was with the 'don't hurt my baby comment though?' Gizmo is not her kid. Probably was the fear, people sometimes get especially overprotective and when they're scared._

I tried to look interested and surprised and worried as she told the story, but I was tempted to burst out laughing.

_So it wasn't some random kid after all. _

A small part of me was twice as glad that I'd saved the kid, Jinx _adored _her brother and had made a reputation for herself in her neighbor hood by beating the crap out of a bunch of burly teenagers twice her size that had teamed up on her brother and broke his DS.

"Yeah, so anyway, I am _so_ not trusting that woman to babysit for him again, like, ever. I hope Kid Flash is okay though, from what I hear he took a heck of a hit from that acid," she said looking slightly worried.

"He's fine," I said off handedly, "I saw him last night. He was just running through town so I didn't see much, but he looked like he was okay."

"Oh, that's good," said Jinx, smiling as a slight blush appeared on her face.

Seemore groaned.

"Don't tell me you're jumping onto the "I love Kid Flash bandwagon," he pleaded.

Jinx snorted, "Like you're not guilty of hero-crush syndrome. I see the way you drool every time you see Wonder Woman on TV," she said.

Seemore blushed and sputtered but Jinx paid him no mind and kept talking.

"I mean Kid Flash _is_ cute. He's a little cocky from what I've seen on TV, but cute, _and_ he saved my little brother, which is _major_ as far as brownie points go, but I'm not deluded enough to think that I _actually _have a shot at dating him. It's just one of those celebrity crushes. Besides, I wouldn't want people like the rogues knowing finding out that I know Kid Flash. I do _not_ want to be the next Lois Lane. If I meet him at all I'd rather meet him as a civilian," she said waving her fork dismissively.

I was seriously trying not to laugh at this point, the dramatic irony was killing me. I was amused and slightly impressed at Jinx's take on things. I didn't have a _ton_ of fans, but the ones I did have seemed to think that since I more than likely lived here in Central, that they had a better shot at A.) figuring out my identity and B.) meeting me so they could ask me out. They didn't think off the consequences of becoming well known for affiliating with a hero. Finding someone with a realistic view on the matter was refreshing.

When lunch was over I felt slightly better. Having friends that weren't detectives with the weight of the would on their shoulders was nice. It coaxed out the carefree side of me and made me forget my troubles for a little while.

Sadly it didn't last. When the school day was over I went directly home. Dreading being there more and move with every step I took.

I did my homework first, which was a rarity for me. I wanted to get it out of the way before chaos struck again. Mom had _said_ she'd come up the a better plan to get dad his drugs, but I was eighty percent sure that she was just going to sweep what had happened under the rug and leave the drugs to Dad. There's really not a better option, especially with the way that creepy dealer leered at her while the drug deal was going down.

I _hated _it when mom came home. It hurt to look at her. I'd told, I'd _told_, and I have no idea what's going to happen.

I volunteered to make dinner just so I could _do_ something with myself. We ate in silence and I cleaned up when we were done. I was putting my plates in the dishwasher when my mom approached me.

"Sweetie, are you okay? You're acting strangely," she said worriedly.

"I'm fine," I lied.

"Is it that simulation?"

"Yea, it was the simulation," I said.

As my mom hugged me she whispered soothing words but I couldn't hear them. All I could hear were chants of _Liar, Liar Pants on fire! Hanging by your tongue from a telephone wire! _

"Let's play a game," said my mom putting a hand on my shoulder. "We can play scrabble, or cards," she offered.

"I…actually I'm tired. I couldn't sleep last night. I think I'll take a nap," I told her.

"Okay, but call me if you need something okay?" asked mom, now looking really worried.

"I will," I told her before marching upstairs.

I wasn't lying when I said I was tired, I'd only gotten a couple hours of sleep last night, but I knew that once I went to sleep I probably wouldn't get up until the next morning and I needed to be awake when Dad came home. True, I could set an alarm, but if I was disoriented when it woke me up, there was a good chance I'd just look outside, see it was dark, shut it off and go back to sleep.

I kept myself awake by reading and when I became to tired for that I played video games. When the time came for Dad to come home I went downstairs and sat down with my mom. Neither of us said anything, we just watched the clock. The half an hour took forever, we waited tensely because we knew he was late. I was about to offer to change into my Kid Flash costume and go looking for him when my Mom's cellphone rang.

She picked it up but frowned at the number, clearly not recognizing it.

"Hello?" asked my mom.

A voice on the other line spoke and all the color left Mom's face.

I felt a shiver of terror race through me as I prayed that it wasn't a hospital calling to tell us he was hurt or—I couldn't even entertain the thought of him being more than just hurt. I felt a panic attack creeping in, but I fought it with all my might, I couldn't freak out, I had to know what was going on.

"Yes," she said, her voice shaking. The other person kept talking, but I couldn't make out the words. They spoke for a long time and mom only offered feeble grunts and affirmative answers. The wait was killing me, my heart was pounding and my hands were shaking, I was sure I was tearing up my lip again, but I didn't care.

"Yes, I understand, I'll be there first thing in the morning," she said at last, and hung up.

"Mom?" I asked, terrified.

Mom was gazing into space, she looked really sick.

"Your father's been arrested," she said quietly.


	12. Chapter 12: Spiral

**Thanks to XxUndercoverflowerpolicexX who private messaged me and inspired me to update this week. Also I touched up the Failsafe chapter (10) a little, nothing major just a few clarifications on some awkward sentences.**

I sat in the waiting room of the hospital trying not to think about how horrible the day had been, but since when are my thoughts ever kind?

"_Are you proud of yourself? All I asked you to do was keep quiet, but no, you can't go five minutes without blabbing to your uncle!" screamed my Mom._

_I was about to tell her that I hadn't told my uncle when she screamed out words that made me freeze._

"_You ruined his life! He's in jail, do you know how dangerous it is there for someone like him that gets violent? And what if he has a withdrawal seizure and hits his head on the concrete there? He could be killed!" and with that, she tore out of the house, got in the car and left. _

Since then her words have been echoing around my head nonstop.

"_You ruined his life! He could be killed!"_

I guess my face was an open book after Mom told me the news about Dad. She had figured out that I'd been the one behind Dad's arrest. I told her later that I hadn't told my uncle, that I had another contact that helped me out. That just made her angrier though. She was enraged that I'd told someone else and that I wouldn't tell her who I'd told.

She's not talking to me. She made me go to school today while she went to visit Dad. I honestly have hit a wall as far as dealing with my parents and their situation. Bruce and Mom had pretty much taken over everything anyway so I couldn't help even if I tried.

Bruce.

I had zeta-d to Gotham first to confirm that Batman had been behind the arrest, then to chew him out for not consulting me before making his move. He was waiting for me and of _course_ he could justify his actions. He said he didn't want me working myself up and ruining the plan which, let's be honest, I totally would have if I'd known Dad was going to be arrested.

Bats had all these plans. He had the right cops arrest dad and got a good lawyer, all without letting anyone know Bruce Wayne was involved. He had pretty much given Dad the best chance possible to do well in court. He'd even made sure the drug dealer was minor enough not to be able to put a bounty on Dad's head before he took action, something I hadn't even thought about. Everything was going as well as it could…but it was still all wrong. What did I expect though? Just leaving everything to him was a stupid idea. I shouldn't have trusted him. I was a fool and I'd ruined my Dad's life.

"_You ruined his life! He could be killed!" Mom's voice screamed._

_She's right he could be killed. You hear about those fights in jail. What if he goes into a rage and gets into a fight and hits his head on the bars of a cell and dies?_

Guilt welled within me and I twiddled my thumbs.

School had been horrible. I was so distracted all day, and panicky. I kept wondering what was going to happen to Dad. I ended up being sent to the nurse's office by some teacher who said I was way too pale. They would have sent me home but I insisted on staying. I didn't want Mom to have to come and get me; Mom had enough to deal with. I barely made it through the day and I almost got sent to the counselor when I freaked out on Seemore. He asked me what the matter was one too many times and I got mad. The class wouldn't stop staring at me after that.

I had zipped out of there at top speed when school ended, but I found that, when I saw Mom's car in the driveway, I really didn't want to go home. I didn't want her to have to look at my face; it was my fault Dad's life was ruined. It would be my fault if he got into a fight and got himself killed too.

I didn't wasn't to be alone though. I felt sick and tired and upset and I wanted someone to take my mind off things.

Who could I go to though? I didn't want to deal with lying to my Aunt and Uncle. M'gann would be in the cave, and she would be able to pick up that something was wrong, Robin and Roy were out, because they were pretty good at reading me and wouldn't rest until they knew what the problem was. Jinx and Seemore knew something was bothering me…

_Why are all my friends like, the most observant people in the freaking world? My best friend is a legitimate detective! _

After cursing my life choices and my friendships I ended up wandering around town by myself until I came across a hospital, that's how I wound up here, sitting in the waiting room, bored out of my mind and trying to fend off my rabid thoughts.

I wondered how much longer I could keep Uncle Barry from finding out about all this. It wasn't even so much that I wanted to keep Mom's secret at this point (though that was part of it), I just couldn't bear the thought of how my Uncle would react when he realized I'd been lying to him. I'd done such a good job at fooling him that he'd never trust me again. I didn't know what I'd do in that situation.

_What will everyone say when they realize how easy it was for you to manipulate them? _Sneered my inner demon.

_I don't want to lie to them, any of them, but what am I supposed to do? I can't tell my Aunt and Uncle the truth, I'll be betraying Mom and Dad's secret if I do. Though I'm abusing my aunt and uncle's trust by lying to them, it seems to be the better option. What's the phrase? "What they don't know won't hurt them?" _

_Liar Liar pants on fire, Liar, Liar, Liar, Liar!_

"_Shut up!" _I yelled inside my head.

_Hanging by your tongue…_

"Hanging by a thread is more lie it," I muttered.

_From a telephone wire…_

_Yeah, well, hopefully the telephone lines jam, because if any of the people I've lied to talk to one another, I'm in trouble_, I thought to myself with a sarcastic laugh.

_Liar! Liar!_

"Kid Flash? James will see you now," said a blonde nurse, coming up to me and smiling. I jumped a little but smiled in relief at the welcome distraction.

"Thank you Denise," I said, grinning at the woman, who's name tag was glinting in the florescent lights.

It was nice to have someone just smile at me, not a care in the world. I clung to her happiness hoping some of it would rub of on me.

"It's so nice of you to come and visit him, he's so excited to see you!" she gushed looking at me as if I was the most adorable thing she's ever seen. Normally I probably would have flirted with her, but I wasn't really in the mood so I just faked a smile.

"He's a nice guy, you know, when he's not toting around slime guns and killer jump ropes," I said.

Denise beamed at me.

"So few people realize that," she glanced around and lowered her voice.

"Between you and me, he's one of my favorite patients to work with."

I nodded in understanding. I could see how dealing with Trickster would be more fun than dealing with say, the guy down the hall that was currently being wrestled to the ground by security.

Denise said something professional and reassuring about _that_ little piece of

scenery, but I wasn't bothered. I'm in a mental hospital, it's not like I expect everyone to be on their best behavior.

When we finally made it to the visiting room Denise gave me a smile and we parted ways. Barely sparing a glance at the security hovering near the edges of the room I walked up to Trickster.

"Hey, James," I said forcing cheer into my voice.

The brilliant smile I got in return made me feel a little bit better. It had been an impulsive move, to decide to visit James, but I wanted to get my mind off things and I owed the guy a game of darts so, really, it was like killing two birds with one stone.

"Mini-Flash! You came to see me!" said Trickster, his eyes shining with a child-like joy. The guy was maybe around Roy's age but he acted much younger.

Really, he was kind of like a puppy. He just followed whatever looked fun. Unfortunately his idea of fun tended to be causing mayhem, which is how he ended up as a rogue. Despite that his heart was usually in the right place, even if his head wasn't

"Course I did, I owe you a game of darts don't I?"

James's smile could have lit up a Christmas tree and less than a minute later we were going through our first round.

"Score!" Yelled James excitedly as the Velcro dart managed to hit the center of the target.

"Very nice, James," I said, smiling at Trickster. I ignored the fact that he'd stepped _way _too close to the board before shooting and just let him do his victory dance.

"Your turn, your turn Mini-Flash!" said James eagerly and I rolled my eyes at the nickname.

"Alright, here I go," I said, taking aim and throwing the dart. James bounced excitedly until his turn came.

I managed to make it a few rounds without thinking about my Dad, but even here, I felt the thoughts plague me.

_I wonder what he's doing right now? Did Mom tell him it's my fault? Does he hate me? He probably does, I ruined his life. He's probably mad. What if he gets really mad and attacks a guard? What if he get's the guard's gun? He'll be shot! He'll be killed. It's all my fault, I'm so stupid and worthless and…_

"What's the matter, Kid?" asked Trickster.

I jerked out of my thoughts and saw James watching me.

"Nothing," I said plastering a smile on, "just tired."

Trickster frowned.

"You look like you're really down. Do you not like coming to see me?" he asked, looking sad.

"No," I said instantly, "I like coming to see you, Trickster, really, I'm just…" I lowered my voice so the guards couldn't hear, "going through some stuff."

My mouth had really run off with me this time. Seriously, who's dumb enough to tell a crazed super villain that they're having problems?

_You're an idiot and a disgrace as a superhero, _I thought to myself.

"What kind of stuff?" asked Trickster, lowering his voice as well. He looked concerned.

"It's nothing. Come on, let's play some darts," I said, trying to distract him. Trickster loved darts, even if it he was only allowed to have the soft kind.

"…No, you should go and talk to your Dad."

I had a miniature heart attack.

_He knows, how does he know? Holy crap, he knows. He knows about Dad. A super villain knows who my Dad is. Did Dad let something slip when he was on drugs? I really messed up this time soon everyone will know and they'll come after my mom and dad and all my other relatives and my civilian friends and if he knows my identitiy he might figure out Uncle Barry's_

"My…Dad?" I asked, stunned.

"Yea, if you're having problems, old Flasher should know about it," said Trickster.

My heart was still racing and my breath was still hitched, but I forced myself to calm down.

_It's okay; it's fine. It's a common assumption. It's not often I slip and call him 'Uncle' Flash, most people think he's my Dad._

"Maybe you should stay here after all," said Trickster, cocking his head to the side. "They can give you something for those panic attacks," he whispered confidentially.

I blushed and waved my hand as if to swat the thought away "I'm fine, I'm not having panic attacks" I lied, using a tone that suggested that it was the most ridiculous idea in the whole world.

"If you're fine, then list all the things that made you smile today."

I opened my mouth, but no words formed. I tried to think of something but my mind kept drawing a blank.

"Uh, well, I—I came and played darts, yeah that was fun," I said, completely thrown off by the statement.

Trickster considered this, glancing at the clock on the wall.

"It's five in the evening and this is the first time you've smiled _all_ day?" he asked quietly.

He looked at me. "That's…sad, you shouldn't be sad," he said looking at me, seeming troubled.

I grimaced. The purpose of my visit was to make James feel better, not _worse._ The last thing I wanted was to upset the guy.

_Moron you can't even stay calm around oblivious lunatics, you ruin everything._

_ "You ruined his life! He could be killed!"_

I knew there was only one thing I could do that would compute with James and make him stop looking so fretful.

"You're right, that is a bummer. You know, I think I will talk to Flash, it's really not _that_ big of a problem and I'll definitely feel better after I talk to him," I said.

Trickster brightened and in his mind the problem was already solved.

"Great idea!" he said eagerly, his voice returning to normal volume. "You do that, and come back and play darts another day!" he said triumphantly, as if we had just worked out the cure to world hunger. "Go forth Mini-Flash! Go forth and find Flasher!" he commanded enthusiastically.

I nodded, trying to look serious but even the guards were trying not to laugh at the dramatic declaration.

I rolled my eyes and darted off.

Seeing as I had _no _intention of going to see Flash I decided to face the music and go home. Three blocks from my house I ducked into an alley to change into my civvies and walked home the rest of the way. When I got there I noticed that my Mom's car _wasn't_ in the driveway.

I felt relieved; she wouldn't have to deal with me! If I played my cards right I could sneak some food up into my room and stay there all night, she would hardly know I was there.

My stomach growled at the thought of food and I frowned.

_When's the last time I ate?_

My stomach growled even louder. In all the chaos of today I hadn't really taken the time to eat. I picked at my school lunch and neglected my afternoon snack.

_Better grab something, I don't want to pass out again,_ I thought as I walked up the front steps.

If I had stopped and paid attention, I would have noticed a different car parked on the side of the street in front of my house.

I went to unlock my front door and frowned when I realized it was already unlocked. I opened the door and saw Aunt Iris sitting on the couch in my living room. She was dressed in her work clothes and had a book resting on her lap.

"Hello, Wally," she said.

"Aunt Iris," I said, surprised. "How long have you been here?"

"About a half hour. No one was home so I let myself in using the spare key," she said.

I frowned. While my Aunt and Uncle knew where we kept our spare key in the event of an emergency, never just 'let themselves in.' It was something they both considered to be very impolite and they only ever did it when I was home alone while sick or injured. Since this was not the case I was understandably worried

"Is, everything okay?" I asked nervously, hoping that Mom wouldn't be coming home any time soon; I didn't want her to have to deal with anyone.

"I could ask you the same thing," she said cooly. Her green eyes were hard and serious and her mouth was pressed in a firm line.

I stared at her.

"Uh, what?" I asked nervously.

"Is everything okay? I mean you've been having a tough time lately. Your uncle told me about that training simulation."

"Yea, Aunt Iris everything is fine," I said nervously.

"Really, you're doing okay? Are you getting along better with your parents? Barry told me you were having some trouble with them," she pressed.

"Yea, we're cool now," I said starting to get a really bad feeling about this conversation.

"Yea? Your mom doing better, how's that bruise on her face healing?" she asked.

"It's fine. Really, Aunt Iris, everything is fine," I said, starting to sweat.

"What about your Dad?" she asked cooly is everything okay with him?" she asked.

"Of—of course," I said my voice squeaking a little. I cleared my throat and said more calmly. "Of course, why wouldn't it be okay?" I asked as my heart started pounding.

"Well, you see, I tried to call him at work a little while ago, but apparently he no longer works at the factory as of today," she said.

"Must've made a mistake," I said uneasily, my stomach rolling. Nausea built within me.

_She can't know, she can't know, she can't._

"No, it wasn't a mistake, because you see, the reason I called is because one of my coworkers is doing a story about Crack Venom—"

_Oh no._

"—and its appearance in Central City. One of his sources tipped him off to an arrest that happened last night. A Mr. Rudolph West. She asked me if I knew him, it was an old friend who knew me when I was still Ms. West and she wondered if we were family."

My heart suddenly felt cold. I shuddered as the feeling spread through my body until I was hugging myself and taking slow deep breaths, trying not to hyperventilate. The air in the in the room became much too heavy and the neck of my t-shirt seemed to be suffocating me.

I backed away from my aunt and ran up the stairs, away from her accusing eyes. The eyes that demanded the truth I could not give.

I intended to shut myself in my room when I remembered that there was no lock on the door. I ended going into a frenzied state and locking myself in the upstairs bathroom.

I collapsed onto the floor as more sweat formed on my body and I curled up, focusing on the cool tile under my cheek. The feel of it helped the nausea that had sprung up within me, and the air seemed much less oppressive now that I was lying down.

_They know. They know. She hates me I can tell, she was so mad when she found out. She hates me, and now Uncle Barry's gonna hate me. Did she already tell him? What will he say? He'll know now I'm a liar. _

_She mentioned the bruise on Mom's face; does she know that dad hit her? She must be mad at me for not saying anything. I should have said something sooner it's my fault Mom kept getting hurt I should have done something I should have done something. What use is a lying sidekick that can't even protect his own family? I'm worthless, I know it, and now they know it too. They won't want me now they know it's all my fault, they know I'm nothing. _

_Mom's going to be mad. I ruined Dad's life and now my Aunt and Uncle know. It's my fault that they know, I shouldn't have trusted Batman I shouldn't have trusted anyone. Why couldn't I come up with a better solution? I'm pathetic, worthless, no wonder I'm still a sidekick, I can't do anything right. I'm worthless, worthless, worthless._

"It's okay," I whispered to myself as my stomach coiled and spun around. "It's okay, Wally. You're fine."

I knew I was having a panic attack, I'd had a couple before, but they were minor, negligible. Nothing a hug and a little of Aunt Iris's hot cocoa couldn't fix.

This was on a whole new level though. Waves of sick rolled around inside my stomach as my head pounded rocking to the beat of my panic. I was hyperventilating.

"Wally?" Aunt Iris was knocking on the door. Panic rose stronger within me and I grew dizzy and my breathing spiraled out of control.

_Mom hates me. I ruined Dad's life; Dad hates me. Aunt Iris and Uncle Barry will hate me for lying I'm such a liar. I can't do anything right. I couldn't even save my family. I bet Robin could have done something in my shoes, or Roy. I bet even Superboy could have fixed things and he's practically a newborn. Oh no, Supes. He met my parents. He stayed with me for a few days when Bats was figuring out to do with him. Mom and Dad were the first adults to be parental towards him. He still asks how they're doing sometimes. What would he say if he ever found out that I ruined their lives? _

_And Robin! His parents aren't even alive, mine are and yet I let them down. What will he think of me? My Dad might get hurt or killed in jail. Maybe he will! He's violent, what if he picks on some dude who was put away for killing a guy with his bare hands? I put my Dad in danger! I can't believe it! Robin would have protected his Dad he would have fixed things._

_I bet Bats is disgusted too. He could have handled it if he were in my shoes. _

_Everyone's going to know what a failure I am._

Aunt Iris was still pounding on the door. It hurt my head. The lights hurt my head. Everything was wrong. How could I let this happen?

"Wally? Wally?"

I couldn't breath, everything was spinning and my heart was pounding like a jack hammer.

"Wally, you open this door right now!" Aunt Iris shrieked, sounding slightly panicked. The doorframe was shaking and I heard something rattling against the door lock as she tried to pick it. She cursed and tried harder to get the lock open.

This went on for a few minutes when I suddenly heard a voice outside, a male voice, but I couldn't hear what they were saying.

"There you are! He's been in there ten minutes and he won't talk to me," said Aunt Iris's muffled voice.

"Okay, Iris I'll talk to him, why don't you go and wait downstairs?"

I froze.

It was Uncle Barry.

"Wally," he called through the door. "Look, Walls, your aunt told me what's been going on, why don't you open the door so we could talk about it?"

I didn't answer; I was too busy trying not to throw up.

"Wally, come on, say _something_ so I at least know you haven't died in there,"

It was meant to be a joke, but I could sense the worry behind the request.

Still I couldn't get my bearings enough to speak.

"Okay, kid you have until the count of three to open this door," he said sternly.

I wanted to tell him to go away, but my head was swimming way too much.

"One," he said.

My stomach gave a lurch.

"Two—"

I cut him of by yelling. Well, it wasn't really intentional, but hey, throwing up is noisy.

"Wally?" my uncle yelped.

There was a hum and I saw him vibrate through the door out of the corner of my eye.

He put a hand on my back, trying to soothe me but the contact made it worse. His proximity in the small bathroom was suffocating.

My hand shot out as I tried to push him off of me, but I was lacking in spatial awareness at the moment and didn't even come close to touching him, never mind shoving him away.

My Uncle took the hint though and backed off.

I was just emerging from my sickness enough to grab some air when more pounding on the door made my head scream in pain.

"Barry? What's going on in there, unlock the door!"

My uncle complied before I could tell him not to and my aunt came in.

"Oh, my goodness, Wally! You're white as a sheet!"

She pushed past my uncle and approached me but I backed away, scowling.

"I'm fine," I said pressing myself against the wall.

"Honey, you're drenched with sweat!" she tried to put her hand on my forehead.

"No, stop, don't touch me!" I said, pushing her arm away. I felt crowded, so crowded. There were two sets of eyes staring at me _judging_ me, and it was such a tiny room and I couldn't hide my lies and—

I was throwing up again, my hands gripping at the floor in front of the toilet. I couldn't help it; it was just so _overwhelming. _All I wanted was a little space so I could breathe, so I could _think_. But I was stuck with two people in a tiny room, I felt sweaty and gross and self-conscious but they wouldn't stop staring.

My aunt hesitantly knelt down next to me.

I saw her moving in to hug me from the corner of my eye and went tense, but my uncle pulled her back, shaking his head.

I finished being sick and sat back, shaking.

My aunt and uncle were kneeling down, both within an arm's reach away and I felt crowded again.

I squeezed my eyes shut and leaned my forehead up against the bathroom cabinet, bringing up my arm to hide my face.

"Go away," I said.

My uncle turned to my aunt.

"Iris, can you go make him some soup or something? He needs to eat," he said. I knew that he just wanted to talk to me alone. My must have too because she complied without a fuss.

When she left I felt slightly less crowded and I my stomach settled a little.

"Wally," he said softly.

"No," I said, still hiding my face.

"Come on—"

"No! I won't talk to you about it you shouldn't even be here you! Go home before my Mom gets back!"

"Why? Why don't you want your Mom to see me?" asked my uncle, clearly trying to understand.

I raised my head and looked at him.

"She didn't want you to know she asked me, she _begged_, and it's the one thing I could do for her. I ruined everything else," I said miserably.

"What are you talking about Wally? How is your Dad doing drugs your fault?"

"I made it worse! I made it worse and now you're making it worse so just _go away_!" I shouted and I ended up making myself sick again.

"You need to calm down kid, this isn't healthy," he said over the sound of my retching

I sat back I was shaking so violently it was hard for me not to slump to the floor.

"Alright, Kid, okay. We'll talk about this later, let's go get you cleaned up, you're soaked in sweat," said my uncle, helping my stand.

He walked me to my room and helped me into a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt. I almost collapsed into bed and I pulled the sheets over my head to hide from my uncle.

I ended up slipping out of consciousness for a while. My Aunt woke me up and made me eat some soup at some point but I lost track of what was happening after that.

When I woke up it was significantly darker outside and I was alone in my room. I heard voices from downstairs.

"How dare you say that? Do you know how he reacted when he found out we knew? He had a freaking panic attack Mary! He locked himself in the bathroom and started throwing up!" said my uncle angrily.

"I've never seen him act like that before," added my aunt. "He was so pale and he sweat right through his clothes. He was acting totally out of character," she said.

"Well that's news to me! He's the one that arranged for Rudy to be arrested in the first place! He had some contact who he wouldn't tell me the name of and he just let him get cuffed and carted off to jail, do you know how dangerous—"

"Bull crap, Mary!" My uncle yelled. "Do you even know what they do with people on Crack Venom? They isolate them so they can't hurt anyone if they go into a rage and they have _doctors_ on hand to help with the withdrawal symptoms. He's plenty safe. He's exactly where he needs to be too, I've seen people on that stuff, Mary, and you are kidding yourself if you think you could have weaned him off of it yourself. You need to stop blaming this on Wally!"

"I am not blaming this on Wally!"

"Well he sure is doing a pretty good job internalizing all this, and it doesn't sound like you're helping him at all! You keep blaming him for your husband's arrest, but he did what he had to do, and if you had seen the kid have a freaking nervous breakdown in your bathroom you wouldn't _dare_ say he hasn't been trying his best!" Shouted my uncle.

"Oh of course, because the great "Barry Allen" always knows best!"

"I'm not saying I do, but at least I know better than to blame a fifteen-year-old boy for a grown man's drug addiction!"

"I'm not blaming him for Rudy's addiction, I'm angry that he took matters into his own hands, he didn't even consult us!"

"What else was he supposed to do? It's not like you were doing anything to—"

In moments I was out of my bed. My door slammed open and I was downstairs in a blink.

"Don't you say she didn't do anything!" I yelled at my uncle, so angry I could barely speak. "She tried her best, and she's right, I'm the one that screwed things up, so just leave her alone!" I yelled.

My Mom stared at me.

"Wally?" she asked in disbelief.

I glanced at her in confusion as she stared at me.

I glanced towards the hall mirror and saw myself. My face was white, my forehead was sweaty, there were bags under my bloodshot eyes and I was trembling.

I growled and tore my eyes from my reflection.

It was silent for a long time, until my mom sighed.

"Look, Barry, I'm not saying you're right or wrong, but maybe it would be better if Wally went with you for a few days to—"

"No!" I cut her off, "no, I belong here!"

My mom looked at me with a frown on her face

"Wally," she said,

"No, Mom, I'm staying here! I want to help, please let me help I know I messed up but I—I—" I started panting a little, feeling stressed out and overwhelmed again.

Mom looked at me as if for the first time in days. A flash of guilt flickered in her eyes.

"Wally," she said, now softly. "Please, things are crazy enough around here and in any case I need some time to sort things out. You need some time to think as well, and I can't—I can't help you right now. I wish I could, but I can't even help myself."

My shoulders slumped.

"Look, Honey, it's only for a couple days, just grab an overnight bag and—"

I didn't even let her finish. I just ran upstairs into my room and slammed the door behind me.

**Really hope this wasn't too dramatic. It's just that I've been building Wally's mental stress and the physical symptoms caused by his stress the past several chapters and it seemed to me that the logical climax was a massive panic attack. I know he's a superhero and he's probably faced worse, but he's able to fight his problems when he's a superhero while in this situation he's just been internalizing everything. **


	13. Chapter 13: Confined

**34 reviews for chapter twelve…I FEEL LOVED! You guys have no idea how much I appreciate you all right now! I tried not to take too long to update, but I've been busy with school Oh well, summer's coming soon! Thanks again my kind reviewers, you are all awesome! **

The guest room at my Aunt and Uncle's was confining. It was about the same size as my room at home, if not bigger, but it wasn't right. The walls were a boring shade of tan and the whole place smelled like brand new sheets and artificial air freshener. My room at home smells like _home; _it smells like old comic books, cheap off brand laundry soap, and just a dash of teenage boy which, admittedly, isn't the best smell, but it's _familiar,_ it's _mine_.

Normally, when I come here I relish the change in scene. I like that it's different, I like taking a break from the same old routine of my household.

Now though, instead of bringing me joy, the novelty of my surroundings only serve as a reminder to the fact that I _don't _want to be here. I want to be home with Mom and Dad. I want things to be okay again.

I turned restlessly in bed. I'd pretty much shut down as soon as my Aunt and Uncle brought me here and I fell asleep pretty much right away. I wouldn't speak to them the whole drive here and it was basically the only way to escape their questions. Unfortunately going to bed early in the evening means waking up early, and by early, I mean _two_ in the _freaking_ _morning_.

I growled at the ceiling, wishing I was out on a mission with the team venting my restless energy in an argument with Artemis or a battle with a hyper-charged robot. Anything was better than being stuck in a room, full of emotions that I could barely even define, let alone handle.

I tried to get back to sleep but it just wasn't working; in the end I just rolled out of bed.

It was time for a run.

I shouldn't be leaving in the middle of the night like this but I couldn't help it. I just had to get _out_.

I pulled out some shoes and darted out of the guest room, barely taking time to make sure I was being quiet.

I moved feverishly through the living room, moving straight towards the door at a pace that was a little too quick to be considered _walking_. When I made it to the door I took hold of the locks. My fingers were a little clumsy with nerves and I fumbled with the latches, trying to make them unlock.

I felt a shudder run down my spine as a hand touched my arm and I pulled breath violently into my lungs as I spun around instinctively.

My Uncle Barry was standing there; he was wearing his pajamas and frowning at me.

"Where are you going?" he asked. His voice was filled with sleep, but his eyes were surprisingly sharp for someone who'd just woken up. My eyes trailed to the space behind him and I saw a pillow and some blankets littering the couch. He had been sleeping down here.

_Did he expect me to sneak out? _I wondered as I rubbed my arm self-consciously.

"Just…for a run…" I mumbled, fidgeting.

"Wally," said my Uncle, rubbing at his eye a little, "It's almost three in the morning."

"I know," I said, reaching out a hand and fiddling with the door lock.

My uncle twitched nervously as if to stop me, but I think he realized that I didn't intend to fling the door open and run though because he took a breath and made his shoulders relax.

"You should go back to bed," he said in a gentle tone, reaching out a hand to put on my shoulder.

I grimaced and backed away, shaking my head.

"I—I can't," I cleared my throat, and shifted restlessly, bouncing a little with anxiety. "I can't be here right now," I said. I looked at him pleadingly, hoping he would understand.

My uncle retracted his hand looking slightly hurt, but also understanding.

"Go put your costume on," he instructed me softly.

I didn't question the order, mostly because I had just now remembered that I was in my civvies. When I was back down in the living room I was disappointed to find my uncle waiting in his Flash costume.

We went out the back along the path where we were least likely to get caught "speeding" then made our way out onto the open road.

I hated being followed. It honestly drove me crazy, I really just wanted to be alone right now, though at the same time I understood why my uncle was doing this. If I took off by myself right now, even _I_ couldn't say for sure how long I'd be gone. I could very well have disappeared for a day or two if my uncle hadn't caught me.

We ran across the country, hours passed and I pushed myself to run faster and faster. Time slowed down and soon I forgot Flash was even there. It was just me. Me and the ground, that's all that counted. How fast could I go as I raced my shadow? I felt like I could escape everything like this. I'd like to see anyone try and bother me now, any normal human wouldn't even be able to register my presence before I was gone. I was _so _gone. Nothing was wrong here. I lost myself in the landscape and let my thoughts drift away. Soon I started to feel a little less sad. My frantic energy had a purpose, it was propelling me so far away. I loved it, I _loved_ it.

I didn't realize I was running low on fuel when my uncle made me stop long enough to let him buy some burgers for the two of us. The grease made me feel a little queasy and I almost got sick when we started running again, but I handled it. I just kept running. My uncle made me turn towards home after what felt like only a few minutes, but when we got back to Keystone and saw the sun rising I realized we'd been gone hours.

"That what you needed?" asked my Uncle as we reentered the house.

"I feel like I could do another lap," I mumbled, gazing outside wistfully. All my problems came rushing back as soon as I stopped running and I hated it. I just wanted to go out again, escape, be free.

My uncle forced a laugh.

"Probably just the endorphins talking, eat something before it catches up to you and you burn out," he said gesturing at the fridge.

My whole posture went limp as I dragged myself into the kitchen. I shoved a couple sandwiches down my throat until I couldn't take anymore.

"That's all you're eating?" asked my uncle, pigging out on about a dozen sandwiches.

For the first time I realized just how _unpleasant_ it was to watch a speedster eat before I replied.

"Yea," I said.

My Uncle's fork stopped moving and he stared at the side of my head as I avoided his eyes.

He sighed and turned to face me.

"You, wanna talk about it?" he asked in a serious tone.

"No," I said reflexively. "Wait, yes actually," I said, about facing as an idea hit me.

I turned and met my uncle's gaze.

"You haven't heard anything about Dad, have you? Mom didn't tell me anything about what happened to him after his arrest. Not his health, not the legal issues, or anything," I said watching my uncle hopefully.

My uncle looked surprised at first that I was talking to him after pretty much stonewalling him for the past day, then he looked disappointed. I knew what that meant.

"I'm afraid I don't," he said confirming my suspicions, "but I can try and find out," he said.

"Really? That'd be great I—" I looked down. "I'm worried," I admitted.

My uncle hesitated then seemed to decide on something.

"I could take you to visit him today…if you want," he said slowly.

I wanted to say yes, but hesitance gripped me.

"I don't think he'd want to see me. I mean, it's my fault he's there in the first place," I said.

"It's not your fault. He's in the best place he can be right now and besides, you're only putting words in his mouth, saying he'll blame you. Why don't you see what he actually has to say before you go getting all worked up about it?" He said.

"Maybe…yea, I guess I could see him," I mumbled.

"Okay then, I'll make some calls," he promised. "Why don't you try and eat a little more in the mean time, okay?"

I nodded.

Waiting to go and visit my Dad was tiresome; all I wanted to do was make time pass faster, not a new phenomenon, I felt that a lot since gaining my superspeed. Still, the how slowly the minutes seemed to pass never ceased to stun me. I had to check myself repeatedly to make sure I wasn't kicking into superspeed, but no, time was really ticking that slowly.

My uncle managed to arrange a visit. They said it'd be best to come in as soon as possible because my dad wasn't showing signs of withdrawal symptoms at present, meaning I had an actual shot at talking to him.

Soon enough my uncle and I were in the car. Uncle Barry didn't try and force the conversation on the way there and he let me talk to my dad alone.

I sat at a table waiting for the guards to escort him in. When they did I nearly fell out of my seat.

His skin was…pale wasn't the right word. It was gray, ashen, and his eyes held vicious bags under them.

"Hey," he said tiredly, sitting down. I noticed the handcuffs on him.

"Hi," I said, my throat warping the sound of the word as it tightened.

It was quiet because neither of us knew what to say.

"I'm sorry, Dad," I said after a minute.

"Why?" asked Dad tiredly. He sounded awful, like he had a cold.

"I don't know if Mom told you," I said, trembling with nerves, "but it's…it's my fault you're here," I admitted, looking down in shame.

My dad didn't say anything and neither did I. The clock on the wall ticked away the minutes of our visit. The second hand had rotated across the clock face three times before I got a reply.

"I know why you did it," he said quietly.

I looked at him.

"Last night, and the night before. I only got a portion of the amount of—you know—that I'm used to having. It hurt. Do you—do you remember when I asked you about the time you got struck by electricity when you did that experiment?" he asked referring to the time I'd recreated Flash's experiment and gained my powers.

I nodded.

"I think…I think I know how you felt then. It was the worst feeling. But you know, once it passed I looked over at the bed next to me and there was this guy. He looked like a skeleton, and he was watching me. You know what he said?"

I shook my head.

"He said I had it _easy_. He said the pain was more frequent and longer lasting the more addicted you were to the stuff. He told me the doctors used to have to have a shock prepared when he had a fit of pain because his heart would stop sometimes," he said, looking out the window.

I stared at him, disturbed.

"And after I felt that…I was so worn down. It hurt to think, but at the same time…I had this, clarity. I haven't been thinking straight in a long time, and I'm still a little fuzzy, but I remember enough from the last few days to realize that I've been endangering you and your Mom, and that's not okay, and I'm sorry," he said looking at me with a horrible fatigue set into his every feature.

"I'm sorry too," I said, "I should have done more," I told him, "I should have done _something_," I said.

"No," said Dad firmly and his tone made me shut up. "You did the best you could, you shouldn't have had to deal with it at all and you did and I'm _sorry_, but you need to get it through your head that this isn't your fault," he said firmly.

I felt like some sort of barrier inside me was suddenly shattered and next thing I knew I was crying. Which _sucks_ because I'm _crying _in _public_ in front of my _Dad_ who _never _cries and I'm in a freaking _prison _full of the guys I'd put behind bars and I was looking like a total weenie.

"S-Sorry," I whimpered, blushing in humiliation as I wiped at my face.

Dad just reached over the table and gripped my shoulder as I hid my face behind my hands.

"I'm sorry, son," he said, sounding guilty.

I got a grip on myself and smiled at him.

"I'm glad you're gonna be okay, but I—I should go," I said, I could feel the break down coming on but I wasn't about to lose control in the middle of a prison.

Dad seemed to understand this because he gripped my hand tightly before whispering, "I'll see you later, son."

I walked out into the area where my uncle was waiting. He was talking to one of the workers there and waved when he saw me coming. I felt like everyone was staring at me and I kept my head down so no one would see my face. I actually walked right passed my uncle and out the door, my heart starting to pound. I was feeling overwhelmed again.

"Wally!" my uncle called, confused.

I was almost to the car when it hit me. I hunched over and the tears came hard and fast.

"Kid, what happened in—Kid?" my uncle sounded surprised, but he took action quickly. He wrapped an arm around my shoulders and steered me into the passenger seat of the car. He climbed in the other side and started it. It began to warm up and the sound of the engine was soothing.

I kept crying. I felt all the pain that I'd been feeling the past several days hit me and I felt the full extent of the emotions that I'd been trying to ignore. My heart was feeling a dull pain. I could actually feel my chest twisting in a sort of hollow agony.

It got to the point where I was so miserable I forgot to even be embarrassed and it took me a long time to even be aware of what was going on around me.

Uncle Barry rubbed my back, letting me know he was there. After a few minutes of me sobbing hysterically (this would quickly become an event that _never_ happened) and he spoke.

"What did he say?" he asked.

"He doesn't blame me," I chocked. "He doesn't blame me."

"Then why are you crying?" asked my uncle.

"I'm not crying!" I said, wiping my nose on my sleeve.

My uncle ran a hand through my hair.

"Silly me, of course you're not," he said softly. "Do you want to head home then?"

I shook my head from one side to the other.

"Okay…well, do you want to get a milkshake or something?"

I nodded.

"Alright then, let's go," and he started the car and focused on the road, giving me about as much privacy as he could in the confines of a car so I could calm down.

For the first time in a long time I felt like things might start to be okay again.

**Hope you guys liked it, I'll try and update soon!**


	14. Chapter 14: Questions

**I'm back! Sorry for taking forever to update. I could bore you all with excuses, but I think you'd all much rather hear about how Wally's been doing. So with out further ado, here's chapter fourteen! **

I'm not going to pretend that the thought of a cute girl shoving me up against a locker has never crossed my mind before, because it has…many times…but I never pictured the girl to look so completely ticked off.

"Don't you dare tell me it's nothing!"

Jinx's cheeks were as vivid as her hair as an angry color blossomed on them.

Yep, I'd been dumb enough to try and brush Jinx off when she came up to me this morning demanding to know what had been going on with me.

I stared at her as she breathed like an angry dog, practically growling at me.

"Look, I've only known you a couple months, I get that. I don't expect you to pour your heart out to me, but I had to punch someone on your behalf yesterday so I think you owe me at least a _semblance_ of an explanation, she stated.

"What?" I asked in surprise. "You _punched someone?_" I asked wondering what had happened yesterday when I'd been off visiting Dad.

"Why do you look so shocked? This is _me_ we're talking about," said Jinx, rolling her eyes.

"But—well, okay yeah, but still! Who did you punch?"

"I don't know his name, just that he's in the theater club," she said.

"Some kid in the—Jinx! What if he tells a teacher?"

"Relax, he won't, he's been suspended before from what Seemore tells me, and he doesn't want to risk losing his part in the school play. Anyway, he deserved it for shoving Seemore into a locker."

"What?"

A ringing bell pierced through our discussion.

"Opps, there's the bell, not that I'd have elaborated anyway. You want your questions answered? Answer a few of ours. Worrying about you has been far too much trouble, and I want to get this resolved before Seemore has reoccurrence of that stress acne of his," with that, Jinx turned and left.

"Unbelievable," I muttered, shaking my head as I headed off to my first period class.

It wasn't until a little later in the day, a bit before lunch that I figured out what Jinx was talking about.

We were sitting at our desks, pretending to work on our math homework as our newbie substitute teacher watched over us. We could smell the fresh meat a mile away and it wasn't hard to usurp power over the classroom from her, even if we were being subtle about it. So far we had convinced her that: A) today was group-work-day, B) we were allowed to chose whatever groups we wanted, and C) we were allowed to text in class after we were done with our work. So it was kind of a decent math period, until Kitten joined the group I was in.

Kitten annoys me more than words can possibly describe. She's got blonde hair, blue eyes, and a cute face, but the second she opens her mouth I start wishing I could turn off my ability to hear.

Her voice sounds like someone sawing through Styrofoam, attacking a chalk board with a metal rake, and a small child pounding on the keys of a piano all rolled into one. She's loud, rude, stuck up, and the biggest gossip in my entire school. She spends her time trashing other people's reputations (I guess to make herself feel better about having a strange father who collects moths) , and dating some senior named Fang, who's covered in spider tattoos.

Needless to say, I tried to ignore her when she sat down next to be but soon I found myself staring at the excited look into those unkind, blue eyes and I knew she was about to say something awful.

"So, like, is your Dad really on drugs?" asked Kitten loudly.

People turned and stared and I felt like the floor was falling out from under me.

"What—are you talking about?" I asked slowly, my shock allowing me to pull off fake confusion at the accusation.

"Well, I heard that he's on Crack Venom, everyone was talking about it yesterday, Jinx and Seemore said it was bull but _I _don't buy it."

I floundered for an answer.

"Is everything okay over here?"

It was the substitute teacher, from the way people were glancing at me Kitten had broadcast her accusation to the entire class with that loud mouth of hers.

"Yep, just talking," said Kitten, "you know, about math."

"Which problem are you on? Maybe I can help," there was a Robin-like smirk on her face and I suddenly realized that Ms. Dann wasn't as oblivious as she seemed.

Kitten floundered for a good five minutes under the teacher's undivided attention after which point Ms. Dann sent me to the office on an errand. I silently promised to never, ever, give another newbie teacher a hard time ever again as I used the excuse to hide from Kitten until it was time to change classes.

I hurried to lunch as soon as I ran back to math and grabbed my stuff; I had to get to the bottom of this.

Fifteen minutes later, I was in the lunchroom, sitting across from Seemore.

"Yeah, Rodger Muroski was saying your whole family was on drugs or something," said Seemore, as he picked at his lunch.

I was at our table trying to figure out how Kitten knew what she did. I know Aunt Iris's coworker was looking at information on a story, but when I asked Aunt Iris about it yesterday after my not-break-down in the car with my uncle, she said she'd pulled some strings to keep his name out of the paper, at least for now: All bets were off if the story heated up.

"I knew it was bunk, and I told him so and he said—"

Seemore flinched as Jinx came up and whacked the side of his head.

"You're not supposed to tell him anything until he gives _us_ a few answers for a change," she said as she sat down and glared at me.

I flinched.

"Guys…" I trailed off and looked at the floor, not knowing if I should deny the rumors or not.

"Let's start with this: _is_ it all bunk?" asked Jinx.

Seemore scowled at her.

"What are you talking about? Of course it is! His parents are super nice! They wouldn't do something like that!"

Jinx was still watching me though; her gaze was sharp and fixed.

I rolled my eyes. "My whole family is _not_ on drugs," I stated.

"So just part of your family?" Jinx pressed.

"Umm…" I would have lied, but I hesitated, wondering if I should be honest, and that hesitation betrayed me.

"No way," gawked Seemore, "who is it? Is it you? If it is you need some help because that stuff is…"

"What?" I said angrily, "you seriously think I'd do that? That is total bull!"

"You've been moody, you've been missing school, you have to admit it's a fair question," said Jinx bluntly.

I was about to chew her out when Seemore intervened.

"We know taking drugs isn't in your character Wally, but you've been behaving so out of character lately I had to ask. I mean, I've heard stories about people getting addicted accidentally, you know," said Seemore.

This made me feel a little less defensive because it was true, people did get hooked accidentally, that's what happened to Dad. However Seemore's accusation still hurt, where does he think I spend my free time? At sketchy parties and gang hangouts?

"Believe me when I say I will _never _be hooked on that crap," I said, feeling irritated.

It was quiet for a second.

"Who, if not you?" asked Seemore quietly. "Your mom or dad, or someone else?" I gritted my teeth and held up two fingers to indicate the second choice listed. There was no going back now, so I might as well face it.

Jinx's glare dropped.

"Your _Dad_ is on it?" she whispered.

I placed my elbows onto the table and leaned my head into my hands.

"Oh, shoot, man, I'm sorr—" Seemore began to say.

"It's whatever," I said firmly, "he's in rehab. Just don't mention it to anyone, okay?" I said.

"Please, why would we say anything?" asked Jinx rolling her eyes. "We're not like that big mouth Muroski. Though he seemed determined to tell as many people as he could. Does he have a problem with you or something?" she asked.

"I never talk to him…" A detail suddenly flickered in my mind.

"_I switched shifts with Muroski…"_

Dad had said that…on the day he picked me up from school. Did Roger's dad have something to do with my Dad's arrest? Or maybe it was the other way around…

I frowned.

I hadn't bothered to ask about names other than my Dad's when I last talked to Batman, but it looked like I would need to stop by Gotham again.

"Anyway, there's stuff I need to do before lunch is over," I lied, wanting to find a quiet place to think about my next move. "See you guys," I said.

"We can keep you company," said Jinx. She stood up but Seemore placed a hand on her shoulder.

"Unlike you girls, us guys don't go to the bathroom in pairs," said Seemore, purposefully allowing me an out so I could have some time to myself.

Jinx blushed and sat back down, choosing not to comment. I waved at Seemore, grateful for his understanding, and left to ponder over this new situation.

I avoided Kitten all of the remaining school day, but I couldn't avoid the other students.

"So are you really on crack venom?"

It's amazing how quickly rumors warp.

"Seriously?" I asked the girl, unimpressed, "I would have thought my severe lack of withdrawal seizures and my total coherence would have allowed you to infer that I've never touched the stuff. Grow some common sense."

I was hurt, and angry, but I knew if I showed it that people would think I had something to hide. Acting indifferent was the only thing I could do to get them to leave me alone.

Still, the rumors reached the teachers and I ended up in the counselor's office that afternoon, during which time I told the guy rather bluntly that my Dad had been arrested and that if he wanted to fact check he could call my uncle.

Then I essentially told him to buzz off. Maybe not in those exact words though…Okay, yes, those exact words. What do you want from me, tact?

In the end, he gave me a bunch of pamphlets to look over, saying that if I ever needed to talk, I knew where his office was.

The final bell ringing at school was the best part of the day for me. I was completely ready to bail, but Seemore caught me.

"We need to talk," he said.

I wanted to repeatedly whack my head against a random locker at the thought of being held up.

"I don't want to talk about it," I said.

"Wally—"

"Seemore," I said sharply.

He sighed. "Look, I know you keep your secrets, but at least give me a _little_ information," he said.

"He was arrested Tuesday. I'm staying with my aunt and uncle because Mom can't handle taking care of me after everything that happened," I said shortly. I wouldn't have told him anything at all, but since he already knew I could hardly avoid it.

"How long has this been going on?" asked Seemore.

"A while, I've only known for less than a week though; his symptoms weren't bad until recently. We done?" I demanded.

It was nothing personal, but Seemore wasn't someone I liked to confide in for these sort of things. I could complain about petty, normal, civilian-life things, but there was a firm line I'd drawn in my levels of confidentiality. Seemore was a civilian, and there was a limit to what I was willing to tell him, there would always be a limit. Seemore knew I was secretive, but he didn't mention it before, not until today.

"Yea, sorry to burst your oh so important personal bubble, I just care about what happens to my friends," he snarled

He was angry. I'd been keeping secrets from him for years, and here he was, finally calling me out on it.

"Sorry, Seemore," I said, apologizing for a lot more than my attitude at the moment. _But this is the way it has to be, it's best for everyone. _ I finished in my head as I turned around and left

I did my homework as soon as I got back to my Aunt and Uncle's house, since I knew I'd be having to make a visit to Batman tonight. I'd contacted his communicator and asked him to meet me on top of a specific skyscraper near the center of town.

I chose to meet him instead of making a call because **A:** We were more likely to be overheard (eavesdropped on) by people (cough, Robin, cough) if we talked over the communicators and **B: **Getting information out of Batman was hard enough _without _him having the option of hanging up on you mid-conversation. At least in person you could argue with the guy a little.

When I finished up with my work I fidgeted around and paced a bit, not having anything else to do. I'd left most of my stuff at my house when I departed the other night, and I wasn't quite up for going there just now.

I really wished I had something to distract me though. The whole Muroski issue was really bugging me, not to mention the fact that my whole school seemed to have nothing better to do then to investigate the rumors about me.

I groaned, longing for something to do.

My phone vibrated and I checked it hopefully. I had received a text from Dick through the (Bat-standard) secure line that connected our phones.

"_Dude, u busy?" _I read.

"_No, just chilling."_ I replied through text speak.

"_Are u alone?" _I frowned and sat up from where I was lounging.

"_Yea, what's up?" _I asked.

My phone suddenly rang, a call from Dick coming in. Feeling even more concerned, I hit the button to receive the call.

"Sup bro?" I asked, confused.

"I've been going nuts all day! I overheard Batman talking to Black Canary," he said, spurting out information in a furious tone. "He's making us all go through 'therapy' sessions this weekend at the cave!"

"What?" I demanded, nearly dropping the phone.

Never before had I _ever _had to go to a therapy session because of the job, and now they were going to send me because of a stupid simulation that was essentially just a bad dream?

"Yea, he thinks that just because I won't talk to him about it that I _must _be in denial or traumatized or something," he said defensively, chocking a little on the word traumatized.

I caught the crack in his voice and frowned. _Oh. He really is still upset about this. I didn't really think about it…but it was pretty bad. But if it's so bad, why hasn't he mentioned it? If he hasn't been talking to Batman he usually would have texted me. _

"So if you haven't been talking to Bats, who _have _ you been talking this out with, Alfred?" I asked.

"What? No! I don't need to talk about it. It was just a training simulation, it's not that big of a deal!"

I could tell by his voice that it _was _that big of a deal, and the fact that he was refusing to speak of it was a very bad sign.

While Dick had many, many secrets, there was always at least one person other than himself who knew about any given thing he had to hide. It was one of the reasons I knew his secret identity. He _needed_ someone his age that he could connect with. The only reason Dick ever kept so tight lipped was when he was really and truly disturbed by something.

My mind wandered back to the encounter I'd had with Batman earlier in the week.

_Where's Robin? _I had asked on the night I told him about my Dad.

_I kept him home tonight, he is not up for visitors._ Batman had said.

He had been crying after the simulation, then Bats kept him home saying he wasn't well enough for visitors.

I nearly beat my head against a wall for my idiocy.

_Why didn't I call him? I should have realized he wasn't doing well. I should have made sure he was okay. Stupid, useless!_

"Wally?" asked Dick over the phone, "you still there?"

"Sorry, Rob, just a little surprised. I didn't think they'd actually make us go to _therapy _sessions," I said, trying to excuse my spacing out.

"I know! It's ridiculous; we all know it wasn't real. Artemis didn't even have to go through _any _of it. They should let us drop it and move on!" he growled.

"Well, M'gann was pretty upset," I said, trying to get him to ease up and be a little less defensive.

"Fine then! _M'gann_ should go to therapy, I don't see why the rest of us have to suffer just because M'gann's being dramati—"

"Woah," I said halting Robin's words. "Are you listening to yourself?" I demanded. "Okay, we had to duke it out in an apocalyptic reality while our teammates got picked off one by one. I cracked under the pressure and went around babbling about teleports. Superboy got so detached he didn't even care that he was pretty much going to die. Kaldur went into brooding leader mode and we all know what happened to M'gann. I'm pretty sure that being traumatized by all that doesn't qualify as being over dramatic, given what happened I'd say it's pretty freaking inevitable," I said trying to reason with him.

"What so you're on their side now? You told me two seconds ago that therapy was a bad idea!"

"I said I was _surprised_ about it, I never said it was a bad idea."

It was true, I _didn't _think it was a bad idea at all. The others seemed so upset by this I thought them talking to someone would be a good idea. Personally, I hadn't really had the chance to dwell on what happened because I'd been essentially traumatized in the _real_ world as soon as I left the simulation.

Still though, what if everything in my house had been okay? How would I have dealt with it? How would I have handled the long hours of the night, trying to fall asleep if I were thinking about the training simulation and not my family? I knew for a fact that if a family crisis could make me lose me head the way it did, then the simulation would have really screwed me up if I'd had the time to think about it.

The others though…they had dropped out of fight mode as soon as the simulation ended. And without any other disasters blindsiding them what else _could _they think about but what happend?

"So you're okay with them treating us like side kicks who can't even handle one simulation," Dick demanded, getting angry.

Robin was trying to brush it off, because he thought it's what our mentors would do. He didn't understand that he had every right to be hurt, to be scared. I had to make him understand, because he would never be able to deal with this until he did.

"No," I said standing up and beginning to pace, "but I'm totally okay with them treating us like _people _who have gone through an experience so horrible that not even the _Justice League_ has had to endure it before," I said.

I sighed and ran a hand through my hair.

"What happened to us may have been a training exercise, but to us… it. was. _real_. We watched as the people of Earth were massacred. We saw our friends get _slaughtered_. Then we fought to the death in a ship that was about to explode. That's never happened to the oh so mighty heroes of Earth and quite honestly, if it had, you can bet they'd need a little therapy too. Okay? So just cut yourself some slack."

Robin's breath was shaking and I could tell he was really upset.

"I'm fine though," he muttered, sounding miserable.

"No, you're not, and you don't have to be either. Look, I know you're not crazy about this whole situation but maybe you should give it a chance. You've been through more crap than anyone else on the team; it'd be good for you to just talk things out. What's the worst that could happen? You _know _that the conversations will be confidential. It's not like she's going to frolic around the cave repeating what you told her."

"But what if she tells Batman?" muttered Robin.

"Dude, you're a super genius, you should know that _confidential_ means that she _won't _tell Batman _anything_."

Robin sighed and I could pretty much sense his defenses dropping.

"It just—hurts so much. I just want to forget about it," he said and I could just hear the exhaustion in his voice. I wondered how many nights he'd been kept awake by this disaster.

"It's not going to go away until you talk about it and get some closure," I said.

"Yeesh now _you_ sound like a therapist," Robin joked weakly.

"Well you know what they say, friends are like therapists…or was it margaritas that were therapists… No that's not right…there was something about friends and something about alcohol…" I trailed off trying to remember.

"Wally, what are you talking about?" Robin demanded sounding confused.

"Mom dragged me into Hallmark a couple weeks ago. I got bored and looked through the cards. There was one of those "you'll get through this" cards that said something about friends making you feel better, but they mentioned alcohol too and I can't remember what the card said but it was kind of funny at the time, and…" I was fumbling for words trying to explain when Dick interrupted me.

"Wally?"

"Huh?"

"You're an idiot," said Dick.

"I'm aware," I responded with a groan.

The kid actually _laughed _and I punched my fist into the air triumphantly.

_Success! _While, lately, it seemed that I couldn't do anything right I could at least still cheer up my best friend. The thought made me smile.

Robin yawned over the phone.

"Tired?" I asked already knowing that he was.

"No," he lied. "I should go soon though, I have a _ton _of homework and I need to get it done before patrol tonight.

"You're going on patrol tonight?" I asked trying not to sound nervous, but it was difficult. I needed to have a discussion with Batman and if Robin found out what I'd been keeping from him, it wouldn't be pretty. Plus, I didn't want to worry him, not after everything he'd been through.

"Well I'm going to _try_. Bats kinda benched me," he admitted.

"Because of the simulation?" I asked.

"Well…not exactly…we fought a scientist the last night that had laser guns he fired at us. The beams looked a bit too much like the disintegration rays from…" Robin trailed off and I understood. He'd had a flashback to the simulation.

"Anyway," he continued, "I got just a _little_ carried away when I fought him and I sorta rearranged his face more than was strictly necessary."

"Ah," I replied. I wasn't really surprised by this, if anything I was relieved because it meant I didn't have to worry too much about running into him in Gotham. Still, I didn't really know what to say to that.

"…yea, that's when he called Canary," said Robin. "I was eavesdropping because I knew he was up to _something_ when he just sent me to my room instead of yelling at me. I was really ticked off. It's all I've been able to think about today, and I can't even yell at Bruce about it because…"

"Because he'd know you were eavesdropping," I finished for him.

"Yep," he said in defeat. "But what about you?" he asked.

"What about me?" I asked.

"Are you benched too? I saw Flash on the news the other night and you weren't with him."

"Broken arm, remember?" I said, not particularly eager to lie…again. The little chorus started up in my head _Liar Liar. _I gritted my teeth until Robin's voice pulled me away from my internal tormenters.

"Oh, duh, I knew that," said Dick and I could practically hear him rolling his eyes.

"Yea…I can't believe I broke it again," I said, "I mean, at least the first time I was doing something hardcore, you know, fighting the Injustice League, the second time I fell down the stairs."

Robin laughed at me.

"Fail," he joked.

"Hey!" I complained.

"Well at least you don't have to worry about wearing the dummy cast in your civilian identity."

"True, accelerated healing is a pain to cover up. I got a black eye once playing sports in school and I had to do costume make up for the next few weeks!"

Dick chuckled.

"I remember that! Batman had to make you a latex eye piece so it would seem all swollen."

"Yes! I had to wear a bloodshot contact lens too, it sucked!"

"Well it's easier trying to fake an injury than cover it up," Dick pointed out. "If I get beat up on a mission and come into school, I get sent to the counselor's office. Bruce just started notifying the school though to avoid a scene."

I grimaced, remembering the muggings, sports accidents, hit and run car crashes, and general disasters Bruce and Dick had to stage over the years to preserve their identities.

"I liked the time you told the press that Roy elbowed you in the face during a game of capture the flag," I said smirking.

"I figured it was fair, I only got the black eye because he got himself knocked out during a mission and I had to protect him."

"True," I said.

"Wanna know something funny though?" he asked.

"What?" I replied, sitting down on the couch to relax now that the heavy part of our conversation was over.

"Bruce and I are involved in "car accidents" and "muggings" so often that the tabloids are starting rumors about a hit being placed on us. They're trying to find evidence that we have an assassin on our tail."

I laughed. "Well they're kinda right, I mean, someone tries to kill you about every week," I said.

"Ha! Try almost every _day_," Robin snorted.

"I swear you have nine lives."

"No, that's Catwoman," said Robin sounded grossed out by the very thought of her.

"She still have the hots for Bruce?"

"_Yes,_ and it's really weird to see them flirt while they're trying to maim each other."

"Glad my Uncle's married, I don't have to deal with that."

"Lucky."

I heard a car outside and glanced out the window.

"I gotta go, my aunt's home," I said to Robin.

"What are you doing at your aunt's house?" asked Robin curiously.

I kicked myself for letting my guard down and tried to come up with an excuse, I couldn't though so I just spat out something evasive.

"Long story, I'll tell you about it later," I said casually, "but for now I need to get going."

"Kay, talk to you later."

"Alright, bye," I said, hanging up just as my Aunt opened the door.

She entered the room looking tired but looked surprised to find me sitting on the couch, watching her.

"Hey, Wally," she said, smiling. "What're you up to?"

"I was just going to watch some television, then I heard your car pull up and I wanted to say hi." Maybe it was because I'd had to cover some things up when I was talking to Dick or maybe it was just because I'd gotten used to not trusting anyone over the course of this week, but the lie slipped out reflexively and I immediately felt horrible.

_What? What's the harm in just saying 'I was talking to a friend on the phone?' Why am lying about that? _

My lip slid under my teeth and I hoped that my Aunt didn't know about my nervous habit.

"Oh, yea? How was school today?" she asked setting down her bag and coming over to sit next to me.

"Fine," I lied. I didn't feel as bad about this one, I wasn't really in the mood to talk about the fact that the students had somehow found out that my Dad was on drugs. "How was work?"

"Fine," she replied, though she looked exhausted, but when I commented on it she just smiled.

"It's nothing, just a long day at work," she said.

"I can make dinner, if you want," I said. My aunt looked a little surprised.

"That's a really sweet offer Wally," said my aunt, "but you don't need to go to any trouble."

"Not like I have anything better to do so I may as well," I said casually as I stood up and stretched.

I walked into the kitchen and raided my aunt's cupboards as she went upstairs to change out of her work clothes.

Everything was high in carbs, naturally. So there were a lot of noodles.

_Don't know when Uncle Barry will be home…maybe I'll just do lasagna, that's easy enough to reheat._

I started moving through the steps on the box of Lasagna noodles. I was so lost in thought I kept having to re-read the procedure.

_Okay…So kids at my school somehow know about Dad. How do I fix that? I'm meeting Batman to go over the details of the arrest, but seriously, how do I fix that? I can't stop kids from talking and spreading rumors._

Absentmindedly, I cracked eggs and measured out cheese as ground beef thawed out in the microwave.

_I guess it might go away if I pretend it doesn't bother me…The Muroski kid…maybe if his Dad's involved I can use that knowledge as leverage to get him to stop spreading things around. _

I stirred the ingredients and added spices.

_ Yea, that might work, next problem. Seemore's mad at me…I guess only time can really fix it, assuming he's still willing to put up with me never being around outside of school and not really telling him the truth…That may not end well, I should make it a point to spend more time with him and Jinx. _

_Come to think of it I still owe Trickster a little of my time, but maybe that can wait. I've been acting unstable enough the past few days without visiting mental hospitals in my free time, wouldn't want to worry my uncle too much._

"Wow something smells good, you making Lasagna?" asked my Aunt.

I jumped and almost dropped a spoon.

"Gah!"

My aunt giggled.

"After all that bragging about being on a covert operations team, you let me sneak up on you?" she teased.

"Sometimes, I think you could sneak up on Batman," I said rolling my eyes.

She smirked.

"Need any help?"

"No, I've got it," I said.

"You sure? Because with you and Barry in the house you're gonna need to double the recipe," she said.

"Oh, I forgot," I said.

"No worries, I've got another pan that size, we'll just make two."

"Okay," I said with a smile. I turned back to what I was doing.

_Where was I? Oh right, Trickster…I'll see him in a couple weeks. The therapy sessions with Black Canary…I don't even want to talk about my problems with Dick, my best friend, or Uncle Barry, my mentor, so why on Earth would I want to talk to them with Dinah? Yet again I convinced Dick not to shoot her down it'd be more than a little hypocritical to not take my own advice. Though I've already been pretty hyporitical lately…I'll think about that one later._

"You alright, Wally?" asked my aunt.

"Hmm?" I asked looking up at her.

"You're spacing out a lot," she said.

"Just thinking," I said.

"About?"

"Nothing important," I said vaguely, not really fully present in the conversation as I was still worrying about the therapy sessions.

"You're Uncle texted me and said he'd be late tonight. There was a double homicide and he has to go investigate. It'll take a few hours."

"Lasagna's a good dish to heat up," I said putting the final layer on mine.

"It is," agreed my aunt. "You're Uncle texted me about something else too."

This caught my attention and I looked at my aunt.

"Yea?"

"Your school counselor called him today."

_Oh, crap. I did tell him to call Uncle Barry if he wanted confirmation. Idiot! Why did I do that? He'll be trying to investigate why the news leaked too…what if he figures out Batman was behind the arrest? I really don't want those two talking together, I told Bats _everything_ the guy's pretty tight lipped but what if he treats this like a case? What if he gives him the full details? My uncle will know _everything_ I lied to him about. If he wasn't mad at me before for keeping things quiet, he'll be mad at me now for not telling him the full story after the arrest. _

"Did he," I said sprinkling cheese on top of the Lasagna aggressively, assuming it's possible to be aggressive while lightly spreading cheese overtop a family-friendly dish.

"Apparently the kids at school have been talking about your Dad's arrest since yesterday, and they've been asking you about it today."

"They're nosy idiots," I said flatly.

"Your counselor said you thought _he_ was one of the nosy idiots. He said you told him to 'buzz off,'" said my Aunt, raising an eyebrow at me.

"I—might have said that," I admitted.

"Wally, he may not be a teacher, but he's still an important staff member of your school. He deserves your respect, especially when you consider the fact that he's trying to _help_ you," she said sternly.

"I don't want his help," I said irritably.

"I don't care if you want his help or not, you disrespected him and you need to apologize."

"No way am I apologizing!" I said angrily. "If anyone sees me talking to him the other students will say it's _proof_ that Dad's in jail!"

"So you've been denying it?" asked my aunt.

"I haven't had to so far, the rumors warped so much that people think _I'm_ on Crack Venom now," I said angrily, pushing my dish into the preheated oven along with the one Aunt Iris had just finished up.

"You're kidding," my Aunt gasped.

"No, I'm not," I said, clenching a fist in frustration.

My aunt's disintegrated and she looked at me sadly.

"Honey, I'm sorry," she said pulling me into a hug.

"Yea, I am too," I said.

Then neither of us talked for a while, I just stood there and let her hug me. When the silence grew awkward because neither of us knew what to say my aunt pulled back and smiled.

"How about we make some brownies? They'll make a good dessert for tonight and if by some miracle there are leftovers you can take some to school tomorrow," she said.

"Okay," I said with a nod and we spent the rest of the evening baking, eating, and talking about everything except the elephant in the room.

It wasn't long before the sunset.

It was a quarter past midnight, which is when I had to sneak out of the house to meet Batman. My aunt was asleep, but my uncle still wasn't home from work, I just hoped he wouldn't come and try to check on me.

I climbed out of the window with ease and changed into my costume behind a dumpster in an alley near my aunt and uncle's house.

I had arranged to meet Batman during his patrol and he'd said one was fine with him. I had to leave forty five minutes in advance because I needed fifteen minutes to get to the proper zetas and find the correct rooftop.

The other half hour was left open so I could stop any muggings I saw on the way there without being late. Chances were though my efforts to be on time would be useless, as some Gotham nut was likely to delay Batman anyway. Still, I'd rather be early and have to sit around then be late and suffer his "annoyance" which was somewhat terrifying.

The portal from the zeta in central to the zeta in Gotham was like stepping into a whole new world.

The alley in Central was decrepit, true. The bricks were faded and there were some dingy trashcans, but it was nothing compared to Gotham's alley.

The broken phone booth was the cleanest thing there, a little ways down there was a dumpster that was overflowing with filth and the bricks on the walls weren't even given the chance to fade before they were covered in graffiti.

The alley in Central didn't smell of roses, true, but at least it didn't smell of hobo urine, as Gotham's did.

I grimaced and took to the rooftops; it was a slow night. I only ran into a small robbery and an attempted mugging, so I was able to make it to where I needed to be in plenty of time.

I sat perched on the ledge, looking out at the city. It had taken me a while to acclimate myself to heights like these, but I appreciated them now, and could even look straight down without feeling the least bit of vertigo.

I saw something out of the corner of my eye after several minutes of waiting and when I turned around I saw Batman grapple into sight.

"Kid Flash," he greeted.

"Batman," I replied.

There was a slight pause and then Batman spoke.

"What is it you wanted to discuss?" he asked.

"I wanted some info about Dad's case. Some kid named Muroski at my school knew about Dad's arrest and has been spreading it around. I knew Dad worked with a Muroski and I wondered if there was a connection," I said.

"Muroski was your father's hook," said Batman.

"A _hooker_?" I exclaimed in shock.

"Not a hooker, a _hook. _Drug dealers hire them to find people, to try and get them hooked on venom. These people are called hooks and Muroski was one of them."

"Was he arrested?" I asked.

"Yes," said Batman.

"Was it because of my Dad?"

"Yes."

"Ah, so that's why he knows…and why he hates me," I said. I glanced at Batman.

"My mom won't tell me the details of my Dad's case, is there anything you know?"

"Your mother is working with a finance expert to figure out how to live without his income, your father won't be fit to really discuss things with his lawyer for another month or so, when his withdrawal symptoms improve a little," said Batman.

"Why don't they just talk to him when he's coherent?" I asked.

"People in his stage of addiction are hardly ever coherent when they first withdrawal," he said.

"But—but I saw him yesterday, talked to him, and he was fine. He was just tired," I said.

"What you saw was a rarity. In his phase of addiction he will experience bought of violent seizures or episodes of extreme sickness or pain followed by exhaustion and long periods of sleep. When he's awake he's more likely to be very aggressive or very confused, it's usually random. Every so often he'll have moments of clarity, but those won't be consistent for another month at the very least. I'm surprised you were able to speak with him at all. Your mother hasn't had the opportunity since the night of his arrest as to my knowledge."

I stared at him. Here it was, cold hard reality slamming me in the face.

_I thought he would be fine now… but…_

"If he keeps having withdrawal seizures, is it possible he could obtain brain damage?" I asked stoically.

"It's a possibility, though given his height, weight, and the amount of the drug his body had grown accustomed to, he has a lower risk of having the more violent seizures," said Batman.

"Is…Is it likely he'll die?" I whispered.

Batman hesitated.

"Crack Venom addicts who don't go into rehab are practically guaranteed to die, while those in rehab…It's such a new drug, those who were the first to enter rehabilitation are still there. The doctors in one of the Gotham treatment centers say that they lost around three hundred patients out of one thousand," he said.

I almost fell over.

"Thirty percent?" I whispered. "That—That—uh—I didn't see that when I—I googled Crack Venom…" I said.

"The statistic has not been released to the public," he said.

"So…maybe it'll be lower in Central. I mean, the drug took a better hold of things here in Gotham, right? The people who died probably had a really high dosage."

"It's possible," said Batman.

I shook my head.

"If I had just gotten him help the second I found out, his dosage would be lower, he'd have a better chance," I whispered. My vision blurred as I stared at the ground and tried to control my breathing.

"It's my fault, I should have done something," I said.

"No," said Batman firmly. "This is not your fault. Your parents chose to ignore the severity of your father's addiction; the decision should not have fallen on you at all.

"But it _did_, and I should have done something, he was hurting Mom, and—"

The Bat signal flashed through the air at the same moment that Batman's communicator beeped.

"Yes?" Batman asked, touching his earpiece lightly.

I could tell Alfred was on the other end, but I couldn't hear what he was saying.

After a minute Batman looked at me.

"Penguin's robbing a Casino, I have to go, he has hostages," he said.

"Don't go anywhere, we aren't finished with this conversation," he added, pulling out his grappling hook.

"Can I help?" I asked.

He paused as if debating whether leaving me here or taking me with him would be a better way to keep me in one place.

"I want you to go and wait on top of the hotel directly across the street from the front of the Red Bird Casino on North Street. It's about ten blocks from here," said Batman, pointing out the direction to me.

"I want you to keep an eye out for me. If things get bad I'll want you to come in as back up with a surprise attack, but only as a last resort, I doubt you want to be seen on the news tonight," he said, referring to the fact that I hadn't told Robin or my Uncle about coming to Gotham tonight.

I nodded and Batman zipped into the street below, hopping into the Batmobile before taking off.


	15. Chapter 15: Gotham

It was the rich district of Gotham; the sidewalks were clean, the buildings glittered, and the streets were filled with the click clack of Prada shoes as the wealthy enjoyed a night on the town.

I had just reached the five star hotel Batman had ordered me to stand post on. I was a little tense as I tried to resist the urge to shiver. It wasn't really a _cold_ night, but the breeze this high up was enough to make me shift periodically in an effort to stave off Goosebumps.

I tuned my headpiece into the broadcast of one of the news crews below to see what information I could pick up. I soon learnt that there were sixteen hostages and that Penguin was demanding every cent the Red Bird Casino had, threatening to shoot a hostage if police helicopter of any kind came within ten-square blocks of the place. This indicated that Penguin was possibly planning an aerial escape; it would certainly fit with his M.O.

The name of the Casino fit Penguin's style as well. Really, they should have seen it coming. After all, he crashed Swann Lake at the playhouse down the street a few months back and ransomed the lead ballerina, and that was only one of his many poultry themed crimes. Red Bird should have changed its name when it had the chance.

"_And all reports say that there is still no sign of Batman,"_ I heard Vicki Vale say over my earpiece.

I switched my goggles into binocular vision and honed in on the streets and rooftops below me. I noted that the Batmobile was parked in an alley a couple blocks away from the hubbub. I also saw a skylight on the roof of the casino that had a large hole in the glass.

I couldn't help but smirk a little as Vicki continued to ramble on about Batman's alleged 'absence,' all the while oblivious to the fact that he'd easily slipped by her and over a couple hundred bystanders.

_Your Dad has a thirty percent chance of dying._

_That's not an official statistic, _I reminded myself in an effort to silence the angry voice in my head that had been nagging me since I'd finished my conversation with Batman. No matter how much I tried to calm myself though, the worry was starting to drag me into another fit of anxiety.

_Batman wasn't done talking to you. It's probably not as serious as you originally thought, so take your mind off that and focus. You're Batman's backup remember? You need to focus._

I sat my post trying to concentrate and get a view of what was happening _inside _the building, but I realized that it was too difficult from my vantage point. I tried switching hiding places, but it was still no use. The Casino was so much shorter than the hotel, and there was so much light reflecting off the large glass windows that it was impossible to see inside. I was wondering if I should switch buildings to get a better line of sight but—no—Batman said to wait on _this _rooftop.

I scowled suddenly.

_Of course. He plants me on a roof where I can't see a thing except the massive amount of media that are bound to catch me on camera if I dare make a move. Then he tells me to come in as a last resort if I thought he was in real trouble, but since I'm sitting blind here…I should have known. He just wants to make sure I follow his orders and stay put, he never had any intention of letting me help at all._

I wondered if he pulled this kind of stuff with Robin.

_Nah, Robin knows Gotham too well to let himself get suckered like this_, I thought to myself.

I was wondering what I should do now that I knew I'd been played when I saw a red blur run up the side of the casino. I nearly had a heart attack as my hand flew to my earpiece.

_I thought I'd disabled the locator in my comm unit, and I left the other locator at home, so how did Uncle Barry know I was here? Is there another locator somewhere in my costume?_

_No, no, if he were tracking me directly, he would have come to my current location, instead he headed to Batman's location. But why? Does he know I'm here or does he want to speak to Bats about something?_

My mind jumped around for a minute before it landed on something.

_The Zeta history. He must have come home from work, realized I wasn't there, and checked the Zeta-beam history after my locator failed to track me. That means he's here to ask Batman where I am…which means they'll both be arriving on this rooftop any minute now, and I'll have to face them both._

I freaked out at the thought and acted on instinct, moving quickly as my escape plan developed.

In a rare stroke of foresight I pulled a listening device from one of my compartments and planted it on an inconspicuous part of the roof before running over to the edge and jumping to the neighboring building.

My costume was in stealth mode and the media were all facing the other direction, so no one noticed a thing. The gap between the next rooftop and the one I was on was too great, but I knew I was running low on time so I pulled a stunt that I rarely ever used and therefore still made me nervous whenever I used it.

I jumped off the building and immediately spun my arms in circles at superspeed, creating twin wind currents to slow my fall. My descent was rapid, due to lack of practice with this move and the fact that my arm was in a cast, but I wasn't going fast enough to do any real damage when I hit the ground. I did get the wind knocked out of me though.

As I lay there trying to catch my breath I heard Vicki Vale speak over my earpiece.

"_And in a shocking turn of events The Flash makes an appearance and joins Batman in an effort to free the hostages—Oh! Here they are; the hostages are now exiting the building."_

I hurried onto my feet and ran across a street and down a couple alleyways, knowing I only had a couple minutes to get out of sight. There weren't any conveniently placed abandoned buildings in this part of town but there _was _a rooftop garden a couple stories up on the side of a ritzy office building.

I zoomed back a little bit before charging full force. I ran through the alley, past a fountain, and up the side of the building, careful to run along the metal frame and not the windows. I reached my destination just before I started to lose momentum and grabbed the railing with my good hand. With a little difficulty, I pulled a chord out of a pocket near my hip with my casted hand and clipped myself onto the embellished metal of the corner rail post.

Once secured I hit a button on my goggles and little red dots appeared in my line of sight to indicate the two cameras guarding this particular section of roof.

I ducked down just to be sure I was out of their camera angle. With another tap of a button, a signal designed to freeze the camera feed on a single image was deployed.

A green little symbol on my goggled vision popped up to indicate success, as it usually did when I tried it on garden variety, civilian, security cameras.

At ease with the fact that I was in a secure position I walked over to a shadowy corner and sat down, resting my back against the building wall.

The chill of cold glass and metal began to creep through the fabric of my costume as I tuned back into the news.

"_Penguin is attempting an aerial escape, with both Batman and Flash in pursuit..."_

I sighed and switched the channel to tune in with the listening device I'd left on the hotel roof. It was silent at the moment, which gave me time to think.

My mind immediately focused on Flash's appearance in Gotham. When I saw him I had freaked out and acted on my first instinct, which had been to run and hide. I'd left the device so I could hear them if they came back to that roof and started talking about me. It seemed completely logical to me at the time, but the longer I sat in that little corner of the rooftop garden the more foolish I felt.

_Look at me. What am I even doing? I'm hiding here like a little kid who broke the cookie jar and doesn't want to get in trouble. _

_If I was so afraid of my uncle finding out everything, I should have stayed there and told him what I wanted to tell him, leaving out whatever details I wanted. _I scolded myself.

_Yet again, if I did that, Uncle Barry would still have a conversation with Batman later on, at least this way I'll know how much Bats is going to tell him. _I thought.

_But that's cowardly, and immoral. You shouldn't spy on people like that. _My inner ethics told me.

_But there's a reason you haven't been talking about what happened. _The voice that liked to torment me argued._ You don't want your aunt and uncle knowing the full scale of your deceit._

_As soon as Batman and Flash get a chance to talk, Flash will know all about how much your indecision cost your family. He'll know how much of a liar you really are. He'll realize how much you manipulated everyone, how many stories you made up to escape his knowing the truth. How many times he's sympathized with you over events that weren't even real. And for what? A chance for your father to get even sicker?_

_It was your choice to keep things secret for _days_, during which your dad got more and more addicted and his chance of survival got lower and lower. It was your choice not to say anything when your Mom was being beaten up and pushed around. _My inner demon growled.

_I didn't realize the full power of the drug. I didn't know how deadly it was, _I pleaded with myself. The voice showed no mercy though.

_You should have asked, should have found out, should have got help sooner. You chose to delay it, taking the word of your mother, who clearly couldn't make the right decision. All those lies to your uncle and your friends were all for nothing. You were not only inactive in this situation, but you pushed away every single person who possibly could have helped you. And after all that, you're too much of a coward to own up to what you've done. You're too scared of how your uncle will react to tell him the truth for once._

I knew I tended to be hard on myself if left to my own thoughts, but I realized that what it was saying was true. I _was _being a coward. I needed to face my uncle and Batman and own up to my decisions.

I took a breath and stood up, ready to go back to my post on the roof when I heard a noise over my earpiece.

There was a rustle of fabric and a gust of wind.

"So have you seen my nephew or not?" asked the concerned voice of my uncle.

I cringed, knowing I was too late to head them off and wait on the roof. Still, it was wrong of me to eavesdrop like this, if I wanted to hear what they were saying I should just go and talk to them. I walked to the railing and looked down, looking for the best place to do my wind tunnel trick.

_Yeesh, even the alleys here are classy, _I thought as I looked down. There wasn't any landscaping, but there area was paved with mosaic style tiles laid down to accent the gigantic fountain I'd seen earlier.

_Well, as long as I don't land in that I should be good. I need to be careful though, If my aim is off I could easily hit one of the concrete edges of that thing._

"He was supposed to be standing post here, to observe the situation and provide backup if necessary," said Batman.

I pinpointed the best place to jump at the same moment that my uncle sighed.

"Probably left when he saw me, he _did _sneak out after all. That or he realized that you sent him on a wild goose chase. You can't see anything from here," he said.

He didn't _sound _too angry about me sneaking out.

This gave me encouragement and I climbed onto the guardrail, steadying myself.

"Even so, I ordered him to stay put."

The tone of his voice had images of me being on latrine duty at the cave for the next month flashing through my head, but I shook it off, preparing myself to jump.

"Why? What's he even _doing_ here? I thought maybe he'd come to see Robin and talk to him about his dad or something. I didn't expect to find him here with _you_."

I hesitated in my movements, torn between two options. I could jump and rush back to my post while missing out on what they were saying due to the noise from my wind tunnels, or I could stay here to hear where this conversation was going.

"He wanted to discuss his father's case," said Batman.

I froze as worry and doubt crept into me again and I started to lose my confidence.

"How do you know about—wait…Mrs. W said Kid had called in some kind of outside source, is it you?" he asked, being careful not to use my mom's full name for security's sake.

_Calm down, _I told myself, _he already knows what's going on, you don't have to hide from him anymore. Just man up and go talk to him. Don't let him find everything out from Bats._

Batman must've nodded because my uncle shouted out.

"How long have you know about this?"

I lost my balance when I heard the shout and I had to I slide back onto the roof to keep from falling. My expression screamed of dismay as I put a hand to my ear, listening.

"He came to Gotham in the middle of the night, right after the training simulation," he said.

There was a sudden smack and a grunt.

I took a few steps back in shock when I realized what my uncle had just done.

_He punched Batman!_

I heard another thump and my uncle gasped in surprise and pain.

_Oh crap, I forgot, The Dark Knight's not one to take a hit lying down. _

I heard the sound of my uncle getting to his feet, probably preparing to retaliate. I was just wondering frantically if I would have to go and break up a fight when Batman spoke.

"Calm down, Flash, I was trying to do what was best for him," he said as if he and my uncle _hadn't _just attacked each other.

The deadly silence in the air made me wonder if my uncle was going to punch Batman again. I was relieved when he spoke instead.

"You think that keeping me in the dark was best for him? What are you trying to say, Batman?"

I could tell my uncle was offended and I couldn't help but be a little insulted on his behalf. Just what _was_ Batman trying to say?

I heard Gotham's protector sigh.

"I didn't tell you as soon as I heard because I needed to get Mr. W's arrest taken care of first. Kid was jumpy enough as it was without realizing that you knew what was going on. He wanted someone objective, someone who wasn't involved in the situation to help. That's why he didn't go to you."

I heard my uncle try to cut in but Batman continued speaking.

"I didn't even tell him about the fact that I'd staged the arrest for the following day, because I knew he would give away the fact that he was partially behind it. I didn't want his parents blaming him," said Batman.

I smiled bitterly at how horribly _that_ plan had failed.

"I figured that after the arrest Kid would calm down enough to come to you on his own."

I bit my lip at that, starting to feel really bad for not saying anything.

My uncle sounded furious when he made his retort.

"First off, his parents _did_ find out and his mother _did _blame him. As a result Wally didn't tell me or Ir—I mean, Scarlet a thing!" he said, almost slipping up on Aunt Iris's codename, one that referred to her vibrant hair and matching personality.

"We only found out about the arrest because someone at Scarlet's work was doing a story on Crack Venom."

I heard footsteps as my uncle started pacing angrily.

"When we confronted Kid he had a complete meltdown. He locked himself into the bathroom and got so worked up that he made himself physically _ill_. We were completely blindsided, and it could have been prevented if you had just told me what was going on!"

I bit down on my lip at the mention of my freak out and absentmindedly gave into the habit of chewing it as my uncle continued speaking.

"You'd expect me to talk to you if _your_ protégé came to me with something like this! And don't feed me that crap about not spooking him before the arrest. Do you really think I can't keep a secret?"

"Supposing you _did _know, what would you have done?" challenged Batman.

"I would have freaking _been_ there for him the night of the arrest instead of leaving him by himself! I would have _talked_ to him about what was going on. I can guarantee you that Mrs. W didn't do those things, she just pushed all the blame off on Kid and made him feel so terrible that he didn't _dare _tell me and Scarlet anything about what was going on!"

"So you're saying that _if_ you had known about everything you would have just _happened _to be around during the time of the arrest? How would you even have done that?" asked Batman rhetorically before continuing.

"KF wouldn't go to you and Scarlet's house if he thought his mother was going to be left alone with his father. If you tried to go to his house, I'm pretty sure Mrs. W and Kid would have wondered what you were doing 'visiting' in the middle of the night, which is when they found out about the arrest," said Batman, clearly starting to get irritable—well, more so than normal—as he furthered his argument.

"Kid would easily have figured out that you knew. He'd know I told you, which would cause him to lose confidence in me and he'd suspect that you were also involved in the arrest, which he would not have handled very well. His mother would accuse Kid of telling you about Mr. W, which would stress Kid out even _more, _and he'd have no one to turn to then because he wouldn't have trusted _either_ of us at the end of all that. So, tell me, in what way do you think 'being there' that night would have _actually _helped him?"

There was a moment where my uncle was too speechless to reply, which gave me a little time to register how upset I was feeling after hearing all this. I walked back over to my corner and slid down the side of the building so I was sitting in the shadows again, no longer trying to convince myself to go face them.

I narrowed my eyes as I tried to absorb the words being thrown so angrily back and forth between the two men.

Maybe it was childish, maybe it was cowardly, but I couldn't confront either of them now.

Hearing Batman lay out that scenario, that situation, made me feel vulnerable. It wasn't so much because Batman was analyzing my mental state and what I would or wouldn't have done, but because he was _right_. That is _exactly_ how I would have felt in that scenario. The fact that Batman could so acutely gauge my reactions made me uneasy. Sure, he was the world's greatest detective, but _still_!

My uncle spoke up again and I listened carefully.

"You still should have told me. At least then I would have been _somewhat_ prepared to deal with the situation. Had me and Scarlet known he was so upset about all this, we would have approached him about it differently, we would have at least _known _not to just spring it on him."

Another pause as I tore the remaining skin off my lower lip before Batman replied.

"When I was making that decision I was trying leave Wall—Kid—with some control over what was going on. He was really upset when I took the situation out of his hands and he yelled at me for not telling him about the arrest.

I didn't say anything to you about the situation because I realized that you giving away that you knew what was going on, whether intentionally or not, would have been too much for Kid at the time. You have to admit I wasn't completely off base; you said that he reacted badly."

It sounded like a good retort on Batman's part, but it essentially just summarized everything he'd already stated, my uncle was bound to tear his argument to shreds.

Flash took a second to organize his thoughts before retorting.

"You think what you did protected him," growled my uncle, "but all you did was let things blow up in our faces. Admit it, you could have told me at any time you wanted, but you were just too freaking proud.

He'd come to _you_, not me, so you wanted to fix it _your_ way. You wanted to get things done in what you thought was the most efficient manner possible. You didn't want me getting in the way of your plans before the arrest and afterwards you didn't approach me because _you_ thought it was a mission accomplished. His dad was in rehab, so you assumed that everyone else could just deal with the emotional part without your help, but that's Not. How. It. _Is_." My uncle growled angrily.

"He's called _Kid_ Flash for a reason, Bats, he can't handle everything on his own yet! You can't expect him, or anyone, to just suck it up and put on a poker face all the time. You're always pulling this crap!

Canary told me you originally had a mission planned for the kids this weekend, not therapy. A _mission_, Batman? Really? The children were _traumatized_, it shouldn't have taken Robin nearly killing some poor guy to make you realize that!"

"Don't bring my son into this," Batman growled.

"I _will_ bring up your son because we need to keep up an open communication regarding these kids. There are only a hand full of people _on this Earth _and several other known planets that they can fully trust and if we don't work together to make sure their emotional needs are met, then it won't just be my kid shutting himself away and breaking down."

The blunt reference to my embarrassing episodes made me squirm a little, but I was a tad more focused on the fact that Uncle Barry had referred to me as _his_ kid. I decided to store that information away for later.

Batman sighed.

"You're right. I have a tendency to…neglect those kinds of variables at times," said Batman. It was an unspoken apology and the mood seemed to lighten a little.

"They're called _feelings_ Batman, will you _please_ cut the field talk for two seconds?" asked my uncle, and I could tell the apology had made him ease up a little.

"I admitted you're capable of being right, what else do you want from me, a joke?" asked Batman sarcastically, matching the slight humor in my uncle's tone.

I couldn't help but smirk a little at the comment.

"No but I would like some information, I know there's a lot that Wally told you that he didn't tell me…I still have no idea why though, I know there's more to it than the 'he wanted someone removed from the situation' crap."

_But I _did_ go to Batman because he was removed from the situation. _I thought.

"He's probably afraid of being rejected," said Batman.

"_What?_ Why would I reject him! He's my nephew and he just found out some of the most devastating news of his life! What kind of uncle would I be if I cut and run the moment this sort of thing went down?"

_I can think of a few reasons, _said my inner demon cruelly.

"His own mother rejected him. How could he have been sure you wouldn't do the same?"

_Mom didn't reject me! She's just…having a hard time is all._ I thought.

_Keep telling yourself that._

"You've got me there, I guess. Though I'm still not sure what's going on with that whole situation…" My uncle paused.

"Say, when Kid came to you the first time, what exactly did he say? What did he tell you that I don't already know?"

My breath turned solid and caught in my throat. I bit my lip again only to taste blood. I'd chewed it raw, leaving it vulnerable to the breeze. I pursed my lips together tightly to soften the discomfort and started tapping my fingers apprehensively.

"What do you already know?" asked Batman.

"Not much. I just found out that his mother told him to keep quiet about his dad, and that Mr. W's probably the one that gave Mrs. W black eye last week. I have no clue how long KF's known about all this, but I noticed a shift in his behavior after Mrs. W got the black eye. She blamed it on him messing around with a baseball, but there was something funny about their story.

Anyway, after we found out about the arrest Mrs. W suggested that KF stay with us, he barely spoke to us at all. The most life he showed was when I took him to see his dad. He cried when he heard Mr. W didn't blame him."

I blushed, wishing my uncle had left _that_ little bit of information out of the story.

"He's staying with you?" asked Batman.

"Yes, Kid didn't want to go, but Mrs. W said she needed some time to think."

"How did Kid take it?"

"He refused to speak to us, locked himself in the guest room and tried to sneak out for a run at three in the morning."

"Hmm, he'll benefit from talking to Canary this weekend."

I heard Uncle Barry sigh.

"Well maybe she'll have better luck with him than I have. In the mean time Bats, you owe me a hefty explanation."

Bruce didn't disappoint.

He started with the night I'd run up to see him in Gotham.

"I saw him tying up some felons and running across rooftops. He was pale and obviously agitated. He asked if Robin was around and he seemed to relax a little when he found out I'd kept him home that night. He said he'd come to speak with me."

He repeated our conversation to my uncle, remembering every fact I told him, every detail of what I said. He even included things he observed. Like the fact that I wouldn't look him in the eye and that I seemed poised to bolt at any second throughout the whole conversation.

My uncle didn't speak, he just listened, that is, until the point where Batman mentioned me falling down the stairs.

"Bats…do you really think he actually _fell_ down the stairs?" asked Flash sharply.

_No, Uncle Barry, I fell; I really did fall! Don't blame Dad! _I thought frantically.

"I know he did. He was very descriptive about his father's inability to recognize that he was injured. I could tell he was very hurt that his father cared more about the television than him," said Batman.

"So he didn't attack Wally then?" asked my uncle.

"No, not that night," said Batman.

"What do you mean not _that_ night?" demanded my uncle. So Batman continued, telling him about my dad attacking me the night I sent my Mom to the movies with her friend. When it got to the point in the story where I blacked out my uncle cut in again.

"What do you mean he passed out? How can he collapse from hunger when he's in his own freaking house?"

"He didn't mention that part at first," said Batman. "He only told me because I noticed a hole in his story. I asked him if there were any further incidents that night and he said no, but he didn't look confident about his answer. I pressed him until he told me that he really couldn't be sure if anything went on upstairs because he had blacked out on the floor in the living room. His mother found him the next morning and force fed him until he was aware enough to eat on his own."

I winced at the memory of my mother crying and forcing Orange Juice down my throat.

"But I don't get why he passed out in the first place!" said my uncle. "He's had his powers for years, he knows when he needs to eat!"

I frowned at this, knowing my uncle was probably going to give me a hard time about this later. He wasn't even supposed to know! Well I didn't want him finding out about any of this, but that was something I actually thought I had a hope of keeping from him!

"Kid admitted that his stress was making it difficult for him to tolerate food. He said that he would often feel hungry, but also very nauseous, so he'd postpone his meals and then forget to eat altogether."

"So _that's _why he hasn't been eating very much lately! I swear, when I get my hands on that kid I am gonna shove a ten foot sandwich down his throat!" said my uncle.

I couldn't tell whether that threat sounded more violent or mother hen-ish. Either way I could only hope he wouldn't say anything to Aunt Iris. If Uncle Barry was threatening to attack me with a ten foot sandwich…who knows what my aunt would come up with.

Batman finished up the information about my first visit, then explained the arrest. This part was interesting to me, as my mother refused to talk about it, and I listened with careful attention as Batman discussed lawyers and other legal matters.

He soon approached the tale of my second trip to Gotham, when I told him off for not telling me about the arrest before he finally moved onto the visit that had occurred tonight.

I had gotten so absorbed with taking in information, that I'd almost forgotten that I was eavesdropping. In fact, I'd allowed myself to get so involved with what they were saying that I was unpleasantly surprised at his next statement, even though I should have been expecting it.

"He didn't react well when I told him some of the latest statistics on Cobra Venom, and his attitude towards the subject completely reversed."

"Why? What did you tell him?" asked my uncle.

"I told him that three hundred out of a thousand Crack Venom patients in Gotham died during rehabilitation. He immediately went from kicking himself for giving away his parents' secret, to beating himself up over not saying anything sooner. He seemed very disturbed by the news which is why I told him to wait for me in the first—"

"Disturbed?" Uncle Barry yelped incredulously. "Of course he was disturbed by that! You practically told the kid his dad had a thirty percent chance of kicking the bucket! _Why _would you even _tell_ him that in the first place?"

My heart dropped at the reminder of _that_ piece of information.

"Would you rather he find out from the news papers? Or from the kids at his school?" asked Batman.

I pulled my knees up to my chest and wrapped my arms around them. This, by far, was the hardest part of the conversation for me to listen to. I hadn't even _begun_ to process what all that _meant_, I knew it was bad though, and the more I listened the worse I felt.

"Well what about the other statistics then? You've gotta have _something _good I can tell the Kid."

I perked up at this.

_Other statistics? So there is something I don't know! I knew it couldn't be as bad as it sounded, I just knew it!_

"Flash, you _know_ how deadly this drug is. Gotham rehabilitation centers were _scrambling_ for permission to administer controlled doses of the drug on their patients because anyone who went cold turkey died within a day or two. The patients that were first admitted that actually _survived _are still there because it's taking _that long _to wean them onto smaller and smaller doses.

As of yet there are no cures, no success stories, and his father's dosage was beginning to borderline that of the hardcore users when he was first admitted. The risk of him dying is significant. The sooner Wally comes to grip with that reality, the better."

Devastation hit me harder than an explosion as the hope, that there was positive information that I was missing, was crushed. Tears escaped me as a disbelieving gasp left my lips.

It shouldn't have been such a shock. Deep down, I'd already come to this conclusion on my own, but I did the exact same thing I did in the simulation, I didn't think too hard about it and told myself that everything would be alright. It didn't help that there were a couple aspects of the situation that I hadn't been aware of. I had no idea that my dad was edging on hardcore addict when he was taken to rehab. I also didn't realize just _why_ rehabilitation was such a long process. I'd just assumed that the people still in rehab were _almost_ better, I never entertained the thought that they were still really sick.

The tears running out of my eyes were tackled by the breeze, making my cheeks feel half-frozen.

I sobbed quietly into my knees as my Uncle's angry voice sounded over the earpiece.

"I can't tell him that! He's just a kid, Batman!"

"He's not 'just' a kid, Flash, he stopped being 'just' a kid the moment he shouldered the burden of saving our planet. Besides, you probably won't even need to tell him. He has all the information. He has the statistics, he has the facts, I'm sure he's out trying to string them all into the bigger picture right now."

I wrenched the earpiece from its place in my lobe and shut it off. My hands were shaking so badly that I almost broke it. I disabled the listening device I'd planted on the roof and I set the security camera's I froze to wake back up in five minutes. I would be well out of sight before the time was up. I needed to run I _had_ to run, all the way back to Central, past that even.

I didn't even stop and look this time before I threw myself off the roof, which was a dumb move seeing as it was a somewhat narrow alley I was diving into. I ended up jumping directly over the classy little fountain I'd made a point to avoid earlier. Water got picked up by the wind I was creating and it whipped sharply into my face, distracting me enough to mess up my wind tunnel. I was snatched up greedily by gravity and pulled downward at a deadly speed. I twirled my arms again, trying to save myself.

I was about a dozen feet above the fountain when I started getting a good current kicked up, and it managed to cushion me enough so that I didn't do any permanent damage when I fell.

I say _permanent _for a reason here because when I _did _touch down I landed on my left side, on the concrete edge of the fountain.

Pain rippled through my whole body I was completely sure I'd broken half my ribs. I suppose I was lucky, if any luck was to be had in a situation like this, because I ended up draped over the fountain's side with my head and part of my torso hanging half a foot over the tile of the alley. It hurt like crazy but it wasn't nearly as bad as it would've been if I'd fallen under the water and hit my head.

Still, it was a long time before I could move. Pained wheezes escaped me and my side seemed to crush me with every move.

After a while of involuntary whines and half-formed breaths, the pain receptors that had gone haywire upon my landing slowly settled down and I carefully sat up.

I was sitting in the fountain with water sloshing up to my waist when my first coherent thought came to me.

_What's the phrase? Look before you leap? _I asked myself as I glared up at the quaint little garden that I'd foolishly launched myself off of.

I felt my ribs with my fingers. I had initially thought I'd fractured every single one of them but none of them _seemed_ to be broken. However there was no way I was going back to Central on foot now, which is what I'd had in mind when I'd jumped. I sucked in a breath and climbed out of the fountain.

If I'd thought the night breeze chilled my bloody lips and tear tracked cheeks it was nothing compared with the iciness of being half soaked.

I shivered and began the long walk back to the zeta beam.

After two blocks I started thinking about just how _slowly _I had to move to keep my side from hurting.

This wasn't at all what I needed right now. I needed to run. I needed to feel the concrete beneath my feet and think of only the scenery passing by me. I just needed to forget.

I couldn't forget though, not when I was moving through Gotham half soaked on a cold night, in pain. The whole time I was walking all I could think about was my dad and how he really might die, all because some idiot Muroski got him hooked. I stopped for a moment and my eyes narrowed. _Muroski. _

In that moment I decided that I despised that man. My loathing for him spiked so high that he was contending for a spot on my list of most hated criminals.

_It's his fault this happened to my dad! That son of a—I swear if I ever see him I'll—I just want to— _I was so angry I couldn't even think straight. I did know one thing for sure though. If little Muroski Jr. _dared_ to even _look_ at me the wrong way in school tomorrow (well today, technically) I was taking his scrawny butt _down. _

I walked several blocks, all the while alternating between freaking out on behalf of my dad and channeling my hatred for Muroski. There _was_ a tiny bit of guilt for listening in on Batman and Flash's conversation, but I had so many regrets at the moment that I didn't have enough energy to even _think_ about half of them.

There were other people on the streets but most only glanced at me. They probably just thought I was dressed up for some party; my costume was in stealth mode, after all. Also, no one expected to see Kid Flash _walking _around _Gotham_. As I moved along I started searching for little checkpoints that would give me a clue as to how far the zeta was

I kept telling myself that I just had to walk a little farther and I'd be back in Central. Just a little farther.

I came to one of my checkpoints and my entire posture wilted when I realized I had eight miles to go, more if I got lost or had to take a detour.

_I can't do it. _I realized. _Not in this cold with my side so sore. I still have a ways to travel from the zeta beam in Central to my aunt and uncle's. And of course there's the chance someone will try to mug me. I'd be able to fight them off, sure, but it's a needless risk and the distance…I can't do it. _

I slowed to a stop and checked my surroundings. I was near a park, I could go and wait somewhere inconspicuous while I called…who was I going to call?

_Uncle Barry._

I tried to think of another solution, partly out of pride and partly because I was still shaken up by what I'd overheard. I wondered if, after hearing everything, he'd call me out for lying.

I sighed.

_You're going to have to see him sooner or later, better just to rip the Band-Aid off now. _ I told myself.

I pulled out my comm unit and put the piece back in my ear. I flicked on a few buttons and reactivated my locator as I headed across the street and to the park.

I took as deep a breath as I could without making my side hurt and looked down at the device in my non-casted hand.

_I wonder if he's still talking to Batman? It's doubtful…you can't pin Bats down for too long, especially in this city. There was probably some crime somewhere he had to go and stop or maybe a kitten in a tree…but that last one doesn't sound like Batman's thing. Maybe he had to rescue a bat from a belfry? _

I suddenly head a familiar whoosh and I looked up to see my uncle running towards me at top speed.

I flinched reflexively and took a couple steps back, but he came to a stop easily without crashing into me.

"Hi?" I said. I hadn't really expected him to be keeping such a close eye out for my locator signal, and judging by how fast he'd gotten here he'd still been in Gotham when my coordinates popped up.

"I've been looking for you," said my uncle. He looked unsure of what to say.

"I know, I'm sorry," I said quietly.

"You're shivering," he said. It was like he didn't know what to address first, so he was just sticking to the obvious.

"Fell into a fountain," I said.

Either my uncle didn't find this strange, or he was far too jaded to ask at the moment because all he said was:

"Why didn't you run around to dry off?"

"I hurt my side when I fell, I'm too sore to run" I said.

"Broken ribs?" he asked.

"No, just bruised," I answered.

"That's good."

It was quiet again.

I was about to break the silence with something trivial when my uncle stepped forward and pulled me into a hug, wrapping his arms around my shoulders so he didn't touch my hurt side.

I leaned my forehead against his chest, as I returned the hug with my right arm. We stayed like that for a little bit until my uncle said something that gave me a heart attack.

"I know you were listening in on me and Batman," he said.

I jumped as badly as if he'd screamed in my ear and pulled away, looking at my uncle with a face that seemed blank, but my eyes revealed my mortification.

"You know that was wrong," he said sternly, sounding upset.

I didn't say anything, I just stood there looking at him for a moment before turning to stare at the ground, waiting to ride out the lecture in silence, my face turning as red as my bloody lips.

I felt awkwardness wrapping tightly around me, freezing me in place, my shivering even lessened. I'd expected my confrontation with my uncle to be uncomfortable, but this was just humiliating.

"We found the listening piece on accident. We checked the Zeta history for any sign of you going back to Central but there was nothing. We did a sweep with a device. It allowed us to pick up on your tech, if it was in the immediate area. Batman was impressed by your placement of it. He didn't anticipate that from you, but in retrospect he said it was fitting, given your paranoid behavior lately."

I folded my arms across my chest and started focusing very closely on a piece of grass on the ground.

"He gave me some reasons on why he thinks you did it, but I want to hear what you have to say," he told me.

I didn't speak, I just scrunched up my face glaring at the park grass stubbornly.

"Wally," my uncle said firmly, "look at me, please."

I shook my head and kept my gaze where it was. Really, what is there to say when you're caught eavesdropping on something like that?

My uncle's hand rose up, probably reaching for my shoulder, and I flinched reflexively. He hesitated and I frowned, knowing he was going to overanalyze that later.

"Just tell me. I know everything else; what can be so bad about this?" he reasoned, putting his hand down.

I ground my teeth and spoke angrily. I was so angry at having to talk about this. I wasn't really sure why, I just was.

"I left when I saw you," I said harshly, turning away from him a little, barely keeping my teeth from chattering as a breeze slammed into my wet costume. "I wanted to talk about Dad's case, not explain myself to anyone."

I dug my heel into the dirt, tightening my folded arms. It was insanely frustrating, being forced to talk about something I hadn't really had time to think about while at the same time feeling so emotionally charged. Sadness over what I'd heard was still nagging at me so I focused on my bitterness, on my anger.

"I realized as soon as I got away from there that eavesdropping was a bad idea and prepared to go to the roof before either of you could get there," I gritted out defensively, "but you arrived before I could head over. I tried to persuade myself to go anyway, but you started talking, and I wanted to know just how much of my confidence Batman would betray," I snarled bitterly.

"Then he started saying stuff about Dad, stuff you would have censored or candy coated if you even bothered to repeat it to me. I stopped listening before that part of the conversation was finished though. I deactivated my device and left."

My uncle glared, not liking my tone of voice at all. His retort matched his expression.

"You're being incredibly disrespectful about this and unremorseful, it's shameful. Maybe you're too busy having an attitude to grasp this, but what you did was a huge violation of privacy and a breech of trust. I am very disappointed in you."

I didn't say anything, just glared at the ground.

"Don't you have anything to say for yourself?" he demanded.

"That's a trick question," I snapped. "If I don't have anything to say, you'll complain that I was thoughtless and impulsive, and if I do, then you'll say that I'm just trying to avoid being held accountable."

"Yes, because you know _exactly_ how I'll react to anything, don't you? That's why you haven't even had the decency to give me a chance lately, you put words in my mouth and avoid me like a coward for fear I'll say them out loud."

I felt like I'd been punched in the ribs, the bruised ones. I narrowed my eyes.

"You're right," I said quietly, "I'm a coward."

My uncle stood there waiting for me to continue.

I looked up at my uncle with fury in my eyes, and my voice was sharp and firm when it crossed my lips.

"I'm a coward for wanting to make sure telling people about Dad was my _only_ option before I_ tore_ my _family _to _shreds_. I'm a coward for going home after that simulation, _just_ to make sure my dad didn't kill my mom while I was off licking my wounds. I'm a coward for going to someone who could actually use their connections to _help _with my dad's case instead of running to you and Aunt Iris to be emotionally coddled," my arms unfolded and fell to my sides as my hands formed fists as my voice raised slightly.

"I'm a coward for going to Batman after the arrest for an explanation instead of running off to cry into my aunt's apron," angry tears formed into my eyes as I raised my voice to a shout.

"I'm a coward for even _daring _to keep you out of the loop because I was afraid of either falling apart, or making _you_ upset and adding to my very _long_ list of crap _I _have to deal with! I'm a coward for wanting one at least _one_ of the non-civilian people in my life to act like everything was okay," I dug my nails even harder into my palms.

"How dare I want that? After my friends were all traumatized and my dad was arrested and my mom stopped speaking to me, how dare I be too afraid to risk you being upset? I'm such a coward for being insecure and eavesdropping to see just how much of what I told Batman got back to you. I'm so pathetic for not wanting to be confronted with crap I can barely even freaking _think_ about without getting hysterical," I sucked in an angry breath and finished my outburst.

"I'm so freaking sorry, _your highness_. Next time I'm on the verge of an emotional breakdown because my home life has been damaged beyond repair, I'll be sure to take _your _feelings into account instead of allowing myself to have even the slightest bit of selfishness!" I bellowed.

The only sound after that was my chocked breathing as I tried to catch my breath, refrain from putting pressure on my side, and_ not _cry, all at the same time.

I almost smirked bitterly at the shocked look on my uncle's face, but I was too angry even for that.

I turned and stomped away.

_Screw it, I'll find my own way back to Central if it kills me._ I thought to myself, scrunching my toes a bit as I walked because they'd gone numb with cold.

I was grabbed from behind in a hug and I didn't hesitate to elbow my uncle in the stomach as his hand brushed over the sore spot on my torso.

"Ow! Kid, stop it."

"Get off," I demanded.

"Kid, just calm down for a second—"

"I said let go!" I screamed attacking his shins with my frozen feet.

He twisted my arms behind my back and forced me to kneel no the ground.

"Calm it, Kid, no more fighting."

"Screw you!" I yelled.

I struggled to break his hold, but he was stronger than me, faster than me, and a lot less injured.

I gave up after a few seconds and Uncle Barry knelt down next to me and hugged me. This time, I didn't attack him; I just sat there.

"I'm sorry," he whispered rubbing my back. I leaned into his warmth instinctively, wanting relief from the cold that had been tormenting me half the night.

"You've been trying so hard, I didn't mean to make things tough on you. I've just been so worried. I really love you, Kid," he said.

I scrubbed at my eyes until they were dry.

"Love you too, I'm sorry," I muttered.

My uncle patted my hair.

"You have to live with such high expectations, as much as I yell at Bats for not giving you guys a break I think I forget it myself at times," he said. "I'm sorry I yelled at you, and I'm sorry I called you a coward. Eavesdropping may be immoral and all that, but I can't say I wouldn't have done the same thing in your shoes."

I nodded and relaxed a little, my outburst had taken the last of my energy and my adrenaline left me in the calm atmosphere that was setting in. The only movement on my part at this point was my involuntary shivering.

"Geeze, Kid, you really are freezing," my uncle muttered, "I shouldn't have kept you out here this long."

He stood up before helping me to my feet.

"Alright, come on," he said, helping me climb onto his back.

We zipped out of Gotham and I watched the buildings go by numbly.

The light from the zeta beam made my head hurt and when I was finally set down on my uncle's porch he had to steady me as my legs wobbled.

We went inside and saw my aunt in the living room. She was in an armchair, her head was drooping like a wilting flower and a newspaper was on the floor in front of her, it's pages strewn around. The television was on and the volume was up really high, I realized she'd been trying to keep herself awake.

Uncle Barry walked over quietly and turned off the TV. Aunt Iris stirred at the sudden lack of noise.

"You Fin im'?" she asked sleepily, slurring a bit.

"He's over there," said my uncle.

My aunt sat up, looking more awake.

"Where've you—"

"We'll talk later, Iris, for now we need to get to bed," he said. My aunt nodded and headed upstairs, taking a minute to hug me before vanishing into her room.

"I'll write you a note for school tommo—"

"No," I said to my uncle, "I'm going," I said.

"Why?" asked my uncle in confusion.

"If I stay here, the people at school will spread more rumors. I need to nip this in the bud before it gets any worse," I said.

"How?" asked my uncle.

"I'll tell you after I figure it out, for now I just want to sleep."

My uncle shook his head.

"Whatever you say," he replied with a shrug.

I went up to bed and changed into my pajamas. I fell asleep plotting ways to handle Muroski's idiotic son tomorrow.

**Ally Marton requested some Batman and Flash interaction. She suggested having Wally eavesdrop, which gave me some good inspiration for this chapter. I also wanted to thank Blessed24 7 for her review inquiring about how Rudolph could be coherent if he went cold turkey on drugs, which inspired my further explanation on the subject last chapter and this chapter as well as the high fatality rate in rehab patients. **


	16. Chapter 16: Homeless

**Took me ages to update. I mainly got it into gear because Ally Marton asked me to. She's a good writer, if you like Wally stories you should totally read "Possession" by her. Anyway, hope you enjoy! Next chapter is the therapy chapter. **

Sleep was very reluctant to release me on Friday morning, but no one can avoid the world of wakefulness when a certain Iris West-Allen decides to get involved.

"Wally, time to get up," my aunt said cheerily, as if I hadn't snuck out and worried her half sick the night before.

I groaned and checked my phone.

I had approximately thirteen minutes before my alarm was supposed to go off. Thirteen minutes before I had to face the aftermath of last night. I rolled over and went back to sleep.

"Wally, come on, you have school."

I groaned once more and checked my phone again.

Twelve minutes until my alarm went off.

I cuddled my pillow like a long lost lover as sleep tempted me back into her embrace.

The guest room curtains were suddenly open and my blanket was snatched away before I could even think to grab it, which was an accomplishment seeing that I'm a speedster.

I tried to hide under my pillow, only to have that snatched away too.

"Aunt Iris," I whined groggily as I was dragged into the realm of the fully conscious.

"Hey, you're the one that said you wanted to go to school today," said a voice from the doorway. I blinked and glanced up at my uncle, who looked sleepy, but amused. He, like Aunt Iris, was clearly pretending that nothing had happened for the time being.

I averted my gaze, feeling awkward. The memory of my tantrum last night came running back to me and now that I was removed from the situation I wanted to smack myself for my own immaturity.

Seriously, who's childish enough to _kick_ their mentor in frustration? That's just embarrassing. To be honest, I was really lucky that my uncle hadn't addressed my behavior…yet.

I sighed and sat up, only to grit my teeth in pain. My arm flailed for a second before jumping over to my injured side and resting lightly over the bruise.

"What'd you do?" asked my aunt, frowning as she looked at the general area of my injury.

"Oh, right, he said he fell last night," said my uncle, scratching his head and coming into the room.

"What'd you fall on?" she asked, curiosity filling her eyes.

"Concrete," I muttered.

"Alright then, let me see," said my aunt as if this happened every day (which it pretty much did). I grimaced and pulled up my shirt.

I had seen the nasty piece of work last night when I was changing for bed, it hadn't healed much while I was sleeping so Aunt Iris got a first class view of a purple and black patch of skin the size of a tea saucer.

"Wow, that's an ugly one," muttered my uncle in surprise.

"Why do you sound so shocked, didn't you check it over last night?" asked Aunt Iris.

"Um…no?" muttered my uncle.

"Why not?"

"I kind of forgot—Aah!" my uncle pouted as my aunt whacked him on the arm.

"Idiot," muttered my aunt before turning back to me.

"Did you at least eat something last night so your body would have some fuel to heal up?"

"Uh…"

I earned a flick on the ear for that one.

"_Aunt Iris_!" I whined.

"Is idiocy part of male genetics, or is it just you two?" she demanded.

"Don't know, but I think Artemis would love to discuss that topic with you and Black Canary," I grumbled as I got out of bed.

"Artemis? That poor girl that you slighted on her very first day with the team?"

"Aunt Iris, I told you, it wasn't like that! She totally deserved it!" I insisted, still feeling awkward at the blatant avoidance of the elephant in the room.

"Uh-huh, come eat breakfast," she said and walked downstairs. She had that little aura of triumph around her that all women seem to get when they make a man look stupid.

My uncle and I trailed behind her like sad puppies, also a typical sight when a woman makes a man look stupid.

"She scares me," said my uncle, jokingly, still clearly avoiding the topic of last night.

"Because she's got you whipped," I muttered, smiling a bit, though it was kind of forced.

"Hey, I wasn't the only one cowering back there," he shot back.

"She's my crazy aunt, I'm supposed to cower," I replied.

"Who's a crazy aunt?" I looked up as me and my uncle entered the dining room and Aunt Iris had a juice jug in one hand while the other was planted on her hip.

"I was, um talking…about an experiment on ants," I said. "There was this one fire ant that was really aggressive," I said trying to bite my lip only to wince as I hit a scab in a place where I'd chewed the skin off.

"Nice save," said my aunt sarcastically pouring juice into glasses. "What happened to your lip anyway, you split it when you fell?"

"Yea," I said uncomfortably.

My uncle frowned, knowing that I was lying, but he didn't say anything. After all, anyone would tell a little lie to cover a nervous habit…right?

I sighed and sat down, eating the pile of pancakes on my plate, not even bothering to drown them in syrup as I normally did.

I stuffed food into my mouth as I reflected on my behavior as of late.

The line between acceptable lies and unacceptable lies was seriously beginning to blur for me…not that lies are acceptable in the first place, but the hero field calls for exceptions in that area, exceptions that were becoming trickier to determine…crap.

I was calmly eating pancakes on the outside but I think my aunt might have sensed that I was flailing on the inside because she pulled me out of my thoughts with a question.

"So, Wally, you didn't tell us. How _did_ you get a bruise like that off of concrete? Did you trip in superspeed?" asked my aunt.

I blushed, remembering my idiotic move from the night before.

"Well, sort of," I mumbled.

"What's that supposed to mean?" asked my uncle.

My first instinct was to fib, but given my miniature internal struggle on the subject two seconds ago I decided that doing that would just make me miserable, so I spoke honestly and winced when I realized how foreign the truth felt as it tumbled from my mouth.

"I was doing that arm wind…tunnel…helicopter…thing that makes me fly and I messed up the current and fell into a fountain with a concrete rim," I said reluctantly.

"You're lucky you didn't drown!" said Aunt Iris, raising her eyebrows in anger at my recklessness.

"Yea, actually," I admitted as I scarfed down the rest of my pancakes.

My aunt and uncle looked at each other, sharing worried expressions.

_Ugh, it's to early for this._ I thought crankily.

Not really wanting to give my aunt and uncle _more _reasons to fuss over me I whipped out an excuse to leave the room.

"I'm gonna shower," I said, standing up.

"Don't you want more to eat?" asked my uncle in concern.

I snagged a couple pieces of bacon and stuffed them into my mouth, just to assuage him, before leaving the room.

The heat of the water was awesome. I let it massage my back and I released an exhausted sigh. I closed my eyes and indulged myself by just standing there for five minutes. At first I didn't think of anything except the warmth of the water and the way the steam was curling up around me. It was wonderful while it lasted, but reality was creeping back to me.

I should have known by now that allowing myself time by myself to think was a bad idea, because once again my mind was nagging at me.

_Today's the day you deal with Muroski._

I opened my eyes sourly and grabbed the shampoo bottle; massaging some of the liquid it contained into my short, red, hair.

_You also need to go home and grab some things, you need more clothes, and you should check on your mom too._

I rested my head against the tiled wall by the faucets.

_Does she even want to see me?_ I asked myself.

My morale took another hit when I realized that she probably didn't.

I felt misery consume me once again as I thought about mom and dad and, well, everything in general.

_So your dad might be dying and your mom hates you right now. It's not like anything can be done, so suck it up. Keep trying to fix your mistakes until they're either lost causes or brilliant successes. Stop acting like such a victim._

I frowned. The angry voice in my head was actually being somewhat reasonable for a change.

_ If M'gann were chilling in your mind right now, she'd think you were schizophrenic. _

Ah, there was the unhelpful comment I'd been expecting. Moving on though, I angry voice is somewhat right I need goals, I need to be constructive to take my mind off things. Now…what's constructive.

_Killing Muroski._

_Yes, that will do nicely._

…_.._

I walked into school, my face stony and my jaw clenched. I stormed right past the whisperers and down the hall.

I hadn't been able to form much of a game plan before arriving at school because my aunt and uncle kept trying to make annoying small talk in an effort try and make me feel better about my life. So I was here, with no plan except that I had to wing it.

I was just wondering how I was supposed to approach Muroski when I heard an angry voice near me.

"You should have let me hit him!"

I turned and saw Seemore practically dragging Jinx down the hall by her arm looking torn between his eagerness to please Jinx and whatever moral principle was causing him to defy her at the moment. It must be important if moral merit won out over his enormous crush.

"I am not letting you get suspended," Seemore hissed. He and Jinx saw me just then, and Seemore gave me a look that begged for help. Unfortunately Jinx was giving me the same look, just with a lot less puppy dog eyes and lot more attitude.

"What's going on?" I asked.

"Muroski's being a royal son of—"

"Jinx there are teachers around," hissed Seemore as some French instructor passed down the hall.

"And Seemore won't let me put him in his place!" she growled.

"Just leave it Jinx, I'll handle it," I said grimly.

"How?" she demanded.

"Not sure yet, but whatever I do I need to do it myself," I said with a sigh.

"What? You think we can't help?" Jinx demanded.

"No, I just need to handle this. You wouldn't want me fighting your battles for you so don't try and take over for me," I said.

Jinx glared.

"Fine, but I'll deck him again if he keeps it up for much longer."

"You won't," said Seemore inflexibly. "What kind of example would you be setting for Gizmo if you got suspended? Didn't you say his teachers were complaining about him being violent?"

Jinx went red with anger.

"That isn't my fault, he's glued to channels he shouldn't be watching when Mammoth babysits hi—"

"I didn't say it was your fault but if you start acting like the people he sees on television he's more likely to imitate those behaviors," said Seemore.

Jinx glared at him, knowing he'd just played the ultimate trump card (there was no one she loved more than her brother).

"Killjoy," she mumbled before escaping Seemore's grasp and marching towards her locker.

"We should get going," said Seemore watching her go.

"Yea," I replied.

"…She's really cute when she's mad."

"Just ask her out already," I said, rolling my eyes.

"I think I'd have more luck domesticating a lion," said Seemore.

"_I know a guy who could help you with that,_" I muttered, thinking of Robin and our hour long conversation on circus lions.

"What did you say?"

"Nothing, at all," I muttered before walking off.

I was an idiot. I'd forgotten I had a class with Kitten before lunch. I'd also forgotten that that class didn't have assigned seats.

"So, Wally," a voice purred and I rolled my eyes as Kitten sat next to me.

I knew what she was going to ask, I just had no idea what my reply should be. Whatever I said, whatever damage control I tried to do, the whole school would believe that my dad was on drugs, so what could I even…Oh. _Oh!_

The idea was like a bolt from the blue: spontaneous, brilliant.

"We never got to finish our conversation yesterday," she said sweetly, ignorant to the somewhat vindictive plan forming in my head.

"Why do you care?" I asked desolately, playing my part.

"Oh, Wally, I always care," she said batting her eyelashes and speaking in a completely fake voice.

I made a show of fidgeting with my pencil but didn't take too long as I knew the teacher would start class soon.

"Well…maybe…if you promise not to tell anyone..." I muttered.

Kitten leaned in looking very much like a cat did after a good kill.

"The thing is, someone else gave it to him, slipped it to him without him knowing it and that's how he got addicted. He was the victim of a crime, and it just hurts, you know? That everyone thinks the worst of him for something that's not his fault.

I wanted to keep it quiet but Muroski found out, which is weird, because Dad's not in the news. The only way I could think of him knowing would be through police or…criminals."

Judging by the look on her face she'd taken the bait hook, line, and sinker and the whole school would know by the end of the day. All I had to do now was wait.

Classes were nice that day. I guess the school counselor had talked to my teachers because they didn't give us a whole lot of time to chat in class and when they did they tended to send me out on errands or call me up to their desk to look over a paper.

I actually managed to make it all the way to lunch before someone besides Kitten managed to corner me.

"West," Muroski growled, "we need to talk."

I rolled my eyes

"What?"

"Just come with me if you know what's good for you."

I humored him, but only because I wanted to talk to the moron and set him in his place.

The two of us walked through the rush of students headed for lunch and slipped into an empty hallway. Muroski got in my face the second we were out of site.

"Personal space, man," I said, with a bored unaffected expression.

His face turned red with anger and I tried not to smirk at my success in goading him.

"You've been lying about me," he snarled.

"What are you talking about?" I asked, raising an eyebrow.

I saw his foot move and I could tell that he was resisting the urge to stomp it.

"You told people that I was involved with your Dad's filthy drug addiction!" he accused

I smirked, the plan having gone better than projected.

"All I said was that my dad accidentally got addicted because someone slipped him the venom. Then I said that I had no idea how _you_ knew about it before the press even wrote a story. I said that you'd either have to know a cop or a criminal to know that sort of thing."

"You're lying!" said Muroski, lifting an arm to shove me but I blocked him mid air.

"No, that's really all I said. The unfortunate thing about the rumor mill though? Things get really twisted really quickly. If they're calling you a criminal now, just imagine what they'd say if they knew the _real_ truth."

Muroski blanched and instantly tried to play dumb, not that it was that much of a stretch for him.

"What are you talking about?" he bluffed.

"The truth that _your _dad was the one who got _my_ dad addicted," I said and Muroski actually stepped back from me.

"I imagine that's why you threw me under the bus, to cover it up? Because you're ashamed that your father is scum?"

"He is not! And like you're one to talk, your father is on _Crack Venom_ and everyone knows that only complete idiots or hard core druggies go for that stuff!" said Muroski, his shock wearing off and his anger coming back ten fold.

"Well if you're so confident, you tell me right now. If the school found out _today_ that it was _your father_ that managed to hook my dad on crack venom against his will to make a few bucks. Who's side do you think they'd take? Do you really think they'd sympathize with a jerk that keeps getting suspensions and detentions, whose dad hooks people on one of the most lethal drugs on the market?" I asked.

Muroski ground his teeth and clenched his fists.

"You'll keep your mouth shut," he threatened.

"Why should I? You didn't even hesitate to slander my family."

"You son of a—"

"Save it, Idiot," I said holding up a hand. "If you weren't so busy throwing a tantrum than you'd have noticed a long time ago that I left you an out. If you close your trap for five seconds I'll tell you how to keep things on the down low, at least until the press releases something."

Muroski's eyes narrowed but he didn't say a word, an indication that he was anxious to hear what I had to say.

"Like I said, I left you an out. I said you knowing about my dad being on crack venom must be that you're connected to criminals, _or_ cops. So here's what you're going to tell people:

You're going to say that one of your cousins is married to an undercover police officer and that you found out about the arrest through them. Then you'll go on to say that my Dad got addicted to Crack Venom because someone drugged him, and because of that _he's sick_. I don't want you calling him an addict anymore, if you talk about him at all from here on out you will say he got accidentally hooked on crack venom and now he's _sick._

If you tell people this then I'll keep my mouth shut, and as an added bonus people will probably stop talking about you. Understand?"

Muroski nodded.

"Good, now move along, I'm done talking to you," I said.

I started to walk away but Muroski wanted the last word.

"It's no wonder he started doing drugs! With a son like you who _wouldn't _want to escape."

A chill filled my chest.

_Why did he do it? He thought it was cocaine, sure, but why did he feel the need to turn to drugs in the first place?_

"I'm right aren't I?"

I wanted to punch the jerk who I knew, but I didn't want to turn around because I didn't want him to see how much the comment hurt me. I ended up just leaving Muroski by himself and stomped towards the cafeteria.

_Is he right? _I asked myself the whole time I was in line for food.

When I sat down with my tray Jinx and Seemore looked at me.

"Where were you?" asked Jinx.

"Bathroom," I muttered.

"Are you okay?" asked Seemore, observing me. "You're kinda pale."

"I'm fine," I said trying to eat my pizza but my stomach started rolling after my first couple bites.

"You really don't look good, at all, did Muroski say something?" asked Seemore.

"_No_, I insisted, gritting my teeth. Don't worry about it, okay? Everything's fine."

"Last time you said that your dad turned out to be on cra—" started Jinx.

"Shut up!" I snapped, slamming my hand onto the table.

Jinx and Seemore stared at me in shock.

"Sorry guys, I just—I have to go," I said and I bolted from the cafeteria, barely stopping to throw my tray out.

I didn't know where to go I just sped through the halls wanting to avoid students. I would have just left if I didn't know that the school would mark it as truancy.

I ended up just hiding during lunch period, buying a couple granola bars from the vending machine because I knew I needed to eat.

I shut down the rest of the day, numbly doing my work and telling anyone that tried to talk to me that I was busy.

When I stepped out of the school building I made my way towards my parents' house out of reflex. I was half way there before I realized what I was doing but I didn't turn around. I knew that I needed to pick up some stuff anyway, and since mom wouldn't be home for a while I figured it was the perfect time. As an added bonus, my aunt and uncle were at work so they wouldn't even know I was gone.

I didn't think twice when I entered the house, sure of the fact that I'd be the only one there but I froze in confusion when I saw what was in the living room.

There were over two dozen, folded up cardboard boxes lying on the floor.

I blinked and looked around the living room, trying to find other clues.

I saw something lying on the dining table and went to see what it was. Mom never liked to leave papers out like that so whatever it was must be important.

I glanced over the ads and realized that they were all ads for apartments and condos closer in towards the main part of Central City.

I picked one up and my eyes went wide when I saw a little black circle around one of the cheaper places.

I closed my eyes.

" _He'll lose his job, go to rehab, and we'd go under, lose the house, the second car."_

Mom's words echoed through my head and I felt guilty again.

_You should feel guiltier for not doing anything sooner. All you did was delay the inevitable at the cost of your father's health._ My inner demon sneered.

I looked over the apartment my mom circled and accidently crumpled the paper in hurt and surprise as I read the ad.

_This one bedroom apartment is perfect for a single resident. It's cozy, but spacious and is perfectly located near…._

I felt my heart break, right in two.

_Oh…she really…doesn't want me around…huh._

I set the paper down slowly and stared into space for a full five minutes.

_We really are losing the house. And mom doesn't want me living with her…that or she can't afford to support me…Either way, I'm useless to her. Just like I was useless to Dad. _

I hung my head in sadness and looked at the boxes on the floor.

_I guess mom was going to pack within the next couple days…why didn't she tell me?_

I immediately made up my mind to help over the weekend but realized that I'd be required to go to the cave to talk with Canary. I decided that I could pack for her but realized that she'd probably get mad if I did that, she was probably planning to sell some things and throw other things out. She wouldn't appreciate having to go through a bunch of packed up boxes to ensure that she had the right stuff.

_What can I do then?_ I wondered miserably.

_Pack your room._

My eyes locked on the stairs and I found myself climbing them within the next minute, armed with trash bags and boxes.

When I opened my door I looked around at the mess and frowned.

_Maybe start with the closet? _I wondered.

I opened it grabbed my desk chair. Looking at the top shelf I saw an old first place science fair project from the eighth grade.

I looked at it thoughtfully.

_Will I use this?_

_ It's special, I made it with my—with my dad. I can't throw it out. _

After five second's internal debate I decided to think about it before moving onto the next item.

_Oh! My old talking robot…but I forgot, it's broken. Should I throw it out? Wait, no, Grandma gave that to me…I can't throw out something Grandma gave me, _I thought. I felt sadness twinge against my heart strings as I remembered her funeral.

_Okay, let's not be morbid, what else is up here? _I thought, trying to shake off the unwelcome thought.

A little more fishing brought out little league trophies, another couple science awards, honor roll certificates and a lucky baseball cap that had stopped fitting me a few years back.

_Wow…guess I need to keep all of it. _

_ But will Aunt Iris and Uncle Barry have room?_ I wondered.

_Of course, the guest room's a little bigger than my room here._

_ But your aunt stores stuff in the closet. Are you really gonna make her move it? _I asked myself.

_Well, maybe I can send some of the stuff with Mom…but no, her place will be really small, especially if she really doesn't want me living with her._

That's when the thought came.

_What if Aunt Iris and Uncle Barry don't want to take me either? It's not like they're my parents and as much as they love me it's not like they'd want to be responsible for me 24/7._

I frowned.

_So maybe I should pack light, I don't know where I'm going to end up so it would be for the best. Or maybe I'm being too hasty…?_

I groaned and got down off the chair.

_Maybe I'll just pack everything, _I thought.

I looked around my room somewhat daunted by the task. I tried to spot a good place to start. I stared around until my gaze rested on an old Flash poster that had been up since I was a kid.

_Good a place to start as any. Whatever the case, I know that I definitely want to keep that. _I thought, smiling fondly as I remembered al the nights I spent dreaming about being like The Flash. My smile grew sentimental as I reminded myself that it was yet another gift from Grandma.

I went up to the poster and went to peel a corner up so I could pry it from the wall. It was stubborn though. I carefully worked at it, trying to get the poster down without damaging it or the wall. It was really stuck tight.

_Careful, careful…_

_ Riiiiiiip!_

I gasped when the paint on the wall gave way. The sudden lack of resistance combined with my firm grip on the poster caused a huge chunk of it to tear right off.

I was horrified. I looked from the piece in my hands to the now torn up symbol, then back to the piece in my hands.

_Okay, Okay, Wally you can fix this. _I told myself.

I took a breath and set the poster piece down before trying to get the rest of the wall.

_Riiip!_

_ That's not so bad…just a little corner; I can fix it._

_ Riiiip!_

_ Okay, that's worse, but nothing some tape can't handle._

_ Riiiip!_

I got the last chunk off the wall but tore it in half in the process. Hurriedly I went to get my tape and tried carefully to tape the five or six pieces back together.

The results were horrible. My poster was now wrinkled and torn so badly that it was impossible not to notice.

I looked down sadly at my poster and I sort of wanted to cry.

_Are you an idiot? _Sneered the cruel monster in my head that just can't seem to leave me alone.

_Why are you upset over a poster? Your dad could be dying, your mom is a wreck and you're going to lose your home. You have no right to be upset._

My fists clench and I felt an anger fill me up to the tops of my hair.

_It's not fair! _I thought my hands aggressively tearing my other posters off the wall, not caring anymore if they ripped or not. I just stuffed them into a trash bag.

_It's not fair that Dad's hurt! It's not fair that we have to lose the house._

Without stopping to think I marched right up to the top shelf of my closet and threw all my trophies and treasures into the garbage bag.

I was disgusted with myself at how devastated I felt when I hear my science project give a crunch.

_Nothing's fair! Especially for your Mom who has to put up with everything. And what are you? Useless! Just a burden. You don't need this junk! It's just in the way, just like you are!_

I turned on my clothes with a heartless eye. All my too small, yet sentimental t-shirts, including my limited edition Flash shirts and 8th grade graduation shirt were stuffed into a separate garbage bag and labeled for donation.

The toys I had stashed in the closet were next. All of them. I didn't have to look to know that the figures Dad and I used to play with were in there, but I had to get rid of them, they were impractical. I shoved them into another bag labeled donations and moved ruthlessly onto my bookshelves.

_ You have no use for this stuff; you don't need it. It's just a big mess,_ I told myself, ignoring the fact that the stuff meant something for me, ignoring the fact that I still actually used some of the stuff away, I kept at it.

All my figurines were tossed away, they were just gathering dust anyway, and my children's books even the ones that I'd still read to relax my mind were put in a shoebox I'd found in my closet. They were to be donated too.

After tearing through my room I fell upon the last items, my comic collection.

I felt hallow as I moved towards them.

_I won't miss these too much…right_? I thought setting three boxes aside before looking through my others. I saw my two boxes of Megaman comics and a memory hit me.

_Superboy was staying at my house until Bats could figure out what to do with him. He was sitting in my room while I was carrying on a mainly one-sided conversation. _

"_What are those?" asked Superboy pointing at one of my open comic boxes._

"_Huh? Oh, those are my Megaman comics."_

"_Megaman?"_

"_Yeah, it's fiction. Megaman's a superhero. His powers are actually a lot like Superman's come to think of it."_

"_Superman?" _

"_Yea," I said getting up and passing one to him. _

_Superboy stared at it for a good thirty seconds. _

_I shook my head._

"_Well, I'm going to go and grab some food, feel free to look at that," I said before heading downstairs. _

_When I came up twenty minutes later Supey didn't even notice me, he was too entranced by the comic, and he had another two lying beside him._

I tilted my head to the side in thought.

_Come to think of it I've never seen Supey read for enjoyment except for that time._

I smiled sadly at the two boxes and picked them up, setting them gently on my bed.

I cleaned out my room next using my super speed. It was bare within minutes, all my belongings tucked away. One large pile was set aside for donations, and one small pile was packed and ready to go wherever I would end up. I was so caught up in my work I didn't realize that my mom had come home until I heard a gasp.

I turned around and saw her staring at my room. I turned and looked at her, her expression sad and wistful. I felt the melancholy settle on me as met her eyes.

"Hey, Mom," I said quietly. "Can you do me a favor?"

She didn't react when I asked her about what I wanted. She just told me she'd be waiting in the pick up truck.

I brought everything down myself and got into the car.

We said nothing on the way to the Central City Orphanage. She waited in the car while I brought all my books, toys, too-small clothes, and most of my comics inside. The workers were delighted, saying how excited the kids would be. That made me happy, though I still had to force my smiles. I was still kind of riding on the anger I'd felt when tearing apart my room.

Aunt Iris and Uncle Barry's house was next. Neither of them were home and once again my mom waited in the car. I lugged the suitcase with all my clothes and the box with all my running shoes to the guest room and came back for the remaining two boxes, the one that held my books and photos, and the one that held my game station and video games.

We left for the last destination but we still said nothing. She didn't ask me how I was doing, or explain what she was doing about the move to me. I didn't ask if she was really leaving me with my aunt and uncle. She stopped the car a couple blocks from the zeta tubes.

"Thank you." I said, "I can take it from here, but…I need to go to the cave tomorrow. I'll come over as soon as I'm done though, help you pack—"

"No," said my mom, her face emotionless. "Just stay with your friends."

"Oh," I said trying to sound like I didn't care whether I helped or not.

I unbuckled and grabbed the comic boxes.

"Thanks for the ride," I said softly before climbing out and shutting the door.

Mom drove away as soon as I made it to the sidewalk.

I looked at the ground and walked quietly over to the zeta-tubes.

"_Just stay with your friends"_ I mocked my mother's words in an obnoxiously high-pitched voice. "_Oh, no, dear! I'm not mad at you at all, I just hate seeing your face at the moment so do me a favor an don't come home" _I spat out the subtext that had been screaming at me the whole time I was with my mom. "Sure, love you too mom," I growled and I glared at the ground. I was sad though, so horribly sad. Was I part of the reason that Dad felt so dissatisfied with his life that he took drugs? Mom sure wasn't happy with me so maybe he wasn't either. The thought made my breath falter, but I got a lock on it.

_Calm down, don't want to get M'gann all upset with your negative emotions_ I thought as I approached the cave. I closed my eyes for a minute and breathed to calm myself down before I entered the zeta beams.

The second I materialized I was struck by just how quiet the cave was. I took a few steps inside and looked around, wondering where Superboy and Miss Martian were.

I decided to duck into a hallway and search but I'd only made it a few yards away from the main room when I heard footsteps. I turned and saw Superboy marching towards me looking dark and moody.

"I heard the computer announce you. What are you doing here?" he asked in a voice that strongly implied that I was unwelcome. The tone felt like a knife, especially when I was just told that I wasn't wanted at home "Miss Martian's busy, so if you've come to bug her you can just…"

"Really Supey?" I asked bitingly while raising an eyebrow. "You seriously think I came here just to bug M'gann after…" _After freaking _everything_? _

Superboy gritted his teeth and glared at the floor.

"She…she keeps _crying_," he said softly. "I've been with her most of the time but…she kicked me out of her room today, told me to go away. I don't know why she did it…but don't go bugging her," he said his tone taking on an edge at the end of the statement.

"I'm not here to see her," I said, still hurt by his tone but understanding that he expressed stress and sadness through anger, and that he'd had his fair share of stress and tragedy this week.

"Then who are you here to see? And why did you bring…are those your comic boxes?" he asked.

"Yes," I said. "My mom's making me clean out my room, there's just not enough room for everything anymore. I know you liked reading Megaman when you were over at my house so, I figured…I figured you might want them since, you know, you don't have a whole lot of stuff in your room," the lie about my mom was told so easily but I really couldn't care less about that at the moment, I was just watching my teammate.

Superboy's brow furrowed. "You want me to store your stuff in my room until you can find a better place for it?" he questioned. "Why can't you just put them in a storage room?"

"Because I'm not _storing _them, Supes, I'm _giving_ them to you," I said exhaustedly but I forced myself to be patient. "You know, so you can have them for your own."

"You're giving me your comics?" asked Superboy in confusion. "Why?"

"Because I can't keep them anymore and I thought I'd give them to you because you're my friend and I know you like them," I said thrusting out the boxes for him to take.

He just stared.

"But…you really like your comics, you have boxes and boxes at home, why can't you just store them in the cave?"

"Because…" I started. _Because I don't want to draw attention to myself by storing stuff in the cave and I needed to thin out my belongings as my future is completely up in the air for the time being. _"…because I can't."

"Why?"

"Supey, you're killing me," I moaned starting to lose my temper, "just _take _them, okay? It's a gift, I'm giving these to you so just take them," I said.

Superboy reached out and took the boxes.

"Thanks, I guess," he said.

"No problem," I said before looking at Superboy.

He looked tired and a little sick.

"You holding up okay?" I asked, reminding myself not to be a jerk when I knew my friends were hurting more than I was at the moment.

"Of course I am," Superboy said touchily.

"Just asking," I said. "I mean, it must be hard, with M'gann being so devastated you probably don't get a lot of time to process what's going on. That and the people asking you if you're okay are den mothers and other slightly annoying adults…it must be hard."

"I'm _processing_ just fine, I'm not stupid enough to kid myself into thinking nothing's happen—" he stopped as he realized what he was saying.

I grimaced as I remembered being in denial during the simulation and then again during the situation with Dad.

"I'm sorry, that's not what I meant to say, I…I just…"

"You're angry," I said quietly, trying not to lose my cool. "That's fine, but it's also not really going to do you much good. Whatever's going on in your head…you should probably talk it over with Canary tomorrow."

"What are you talking about?" he demanded.

"You didn't hear? Bats is calling her in for therapy sessions," I told him cautiously.

"You're kidding me! I don't need that crap; it's stupid. There's no way I'm going to—"

"What about M'gann?" I queried, purposefully pushing one of his buttons.

"What about her?"

"If she's as devastated as you say she is, then she'd definitely benefit by talking to Canary. But do you think she'd be willing to do that if everyone stormed off ranting about how stupid the sessions are?"

Conner pouted childishly. It was things like this that reminded me of how _young_ he technically was.

"I don't need to talk to anyone," he insisted.

"Then don't. Just humor them and go to the session, at least then the rest of us won't feel self conscious about going because we know everyone else is doing it," I said logically.

"Fine," said Conner with a glare, "but I'm not gonna like it."

"Conner you hardly ever like _anything_," I snapped.

"Well maybe if I didn't have to spend so much time with annoying speedsters…"

_Annoying?_

"Whatever, Supes," I scoffed, trying not to let the statement get to me.

Superboy shifted the comics in his arms and sighed, obviously uncomfortable with the tense mood in the air.

"Well, it's getting late. I better go make some dinner for M'gann," he said trying to escape.

Not wanting to leave the tension in the air (I had enough things on my mind without a spat between me and Supes) I asked: "You can cook?"

"Cadmus taught me the basics of survival, including some culinary knowledge," Superboy mumbled

"Okay…so what do you know how to make?" I asked, not really caring.

"I make Ramen," he stated.

"Just Ramen?" I asked incredulously.

"I can make beanie weenies too, but M'gann doesn't like them."

"Uh-huh, and just how many times have you had Ramen since M'gann stopped cooking?"

"M'gann likes Ramen, so I always make Ramen when it's time to eat," said Superboy as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. "I put fruits or vegetables with it though, for nutritional purposes."

I sighed. I almost left Supey to his Ramen making but I didn't want to go to see my aunt just yet so I intervened.

"Alright, drop those off in your room and meet me in the kitchen," I said.

"Why?" asked Superboy.

"You're going to learn to make something _other_ than instant noodles," I said decisively."

"What for? M'gann says she likes Ramen."

"She's just being nice, no one wants Ramen for every meal," I said flatly. "Now go put those in your room while I raid the kitchen."

I walked away leaving Superboy behind.

_Let's see_ I thought as I opened the cupboards. _What have we got? No noodles, M'gann is probably sick to death of those. Hmm…_

I found some chicken in the fridge and a couple packets of gravy in the cupboard; a little prodding through the fridge brought me to some quick biscuits. Another scouring of the cupboard provided potatoes and green beans.

"So what are you teaching me to make?"

I turned around and saw Superboy looking completely out of his depth but determined.

"Okay Supey, I'm going to teach you to make chicken and gravy over mashed potatoes with biscuits and green beans on the side."

"That's a lot," said Superboy.

"It's easy. The hardest part will be cooking the chicken and mashing the potatoes, now come on," I said becoming him over impatiently.

I cheered up a bit as we started on the recipe as it was mildly hilarious to be cooking with Superboy. He treated it like a mission, following my instructions to the tee and concentrating so hard that his brow furrowed itself again. He hung onto my every word as I instructed him and seemed to be doing his best to absorb everything. I still felt a little angry at him for being such a jerk to me though.

I watched mostly, the point was to teach Superboy, after all. Midway through though I asked myself _why _I was doing this if I was so annoyed with the world.

_Am I avoiding my aunt and uncle again? No, that's not it…right? Well maybe I don't really want to talk about having to move or anything like that… Still though, it's getting late…are they worried? They haven't texted so…Maybe mom told them where I am?_

"Is this right, Wally?" asked Conner uncertainly.

"Perfect," I said, glancing over his work.

Conner managed to finish the meal and he looked tremendously proud of himself as he ladled out the first dish for M'gann.

"I'll take this to her," he said, his eyes showing his excitement. "Grab yourself a plate, so you can eat together," I suggested.

"Oh, right," he said before eagerly making himself a plate.

He almost left the room before turning to me.

"Umm…I'll come back to clean up."

"I'll do it if you let me eat what's left in the pot right now," I said.

"Sounds good," said Superboy and then he left swiftly as if being pulled magnetically to M'gann.

I ate all the leftovers, my stomach whining at me for not eating lunch. My body was pretty ticked that I'd been malnourished lately and demanded every scrap of food within reach. By the time I was done I barely had to scrub the cooking pots at all; I'd licked them so clean.

I was still a bit hungry though and was unpeeling a slightly questionable orange (is this thing even within date?) when my cell phone rang.

I picked it up.

"Hello?" I asked.

"Wally, where are you?" asked my aunt.

"Oh, just went for a walk, I'll head back now," I said, not really wanting to explain the fact that I was in the cave.

"You'd better," she said warningly.

I sighed as I hung up and went to put the pots away. I changed into a spare uniform from my room here at the cave and left quickly, speeding across the city with a backpack hanging on my shoulders.

I changed a couple blocks from my Uncle's house and pulled a wadded up messenger bag out of my backpack. Shoving the backpack and costume into the messenger bag I turned to head to my aunt's house.

"Hey, Aunt Iris!" I called with false enthusiasm as I walked through the door, setting my backpack down.

"Wally," she greeted leaving the kitchen and coming over to me.

"Where were you?"

"Just out for a walk," I said, brushing off my irritation for myself at the fib.

"Really?" asked my aunt, "and that's all you went this afternoon?"

_She knows I'm not telling her something what is it? _My thoughts jumped to the suitcase upstairs.

_Oh! Duh, she must've seen it when she was looking for me. _

"Well, I also needed to get stuff from home, so I went there to pack it. Mom drove my stuff over here when she got home from work," I said, not really wanting to discuss what had happened at my mom's.

My aunt looked a bit less stern as she asked.

"How is she?"

I tried not to roll my eyes. Really, it was a dumb question; she was obviously not doing well at all with everything that happened.

"She's horrible," I said honestly my expression just draining of energy.

My aunt sighed.

"I'm sure she's just tired, Sweetie, she—"

"She has a lot to deal with right now, I know! I'll stay out of her way from now on," I said, not in the mood to be told something I already knew.

_You see? You're useless._

"Wally, you're not in her way," she comforted, stroking my hair.

"Really?" I demanded, stepping out of her reach as frustration hit me.

"Of course, she loves you very much. She only sent you hear for a little while so you wouldn't have to worry as much. Don't worry, you'll be home before you know it," she said gently.

_How stupid is she? Does she really think that my mom wants me around? Does she really think I'd worry less just because I'm in a different house? Or maybe she just thinks that _I'll_ believe it if she tells me these things. Well, I'm not stupid. She can't fool me._

"Don't patronize me, Aunt Iris," I said coldly. "I know the situation. Mom's broke, with no education in a city where the cost of living's pretty up there and on top of it all she has a son who eats enough to accumulate the cost of two or three sons," I took a breath and paced slightly.

"She's got no support now because her husband is in rehab and she has to give up the home she's been living in for years in a trade off for some crappy apartment because _that's _what she can pay for. In the mean time she's pawned me off on you and Uncle Barry because for some reason unknown to me she thinks it's a good idea to make me _your_ problem," I said venomously. I don't think I ever resented being a minor more than in that moment because all I could think of was just how much easier everyone's lives would be if I could just live by myself.

"And, of course, to top it all off the apartments she's been looking at are all one bedroom, I'm pretty sure the hints don't get any less subtle than that Aunt Iris so don't even try to fool me into thinking everything's fine, and that she just needs time, and that I'm not in the way. I'm may be a moron but I'm not completely deficient," I said, ending my rant.  
>My aunt blinked.<p>

"Wait, your mom is moving?"

"_Obviously,_" I said shortly crossing my arms.

"Don't talk to me like that," said my aunt, taking offense to that tone.

"_Fine_," I said gritting my teeth before walking away towards the stairs. I was so _angry _all of the sudden and I wasn't really sure why. All I knew was that I needed to cool off.

"We're not finished with this conversation," said my aunt now sounding mad.

"We'll finish it later," I said coldly, still walking.

"Wallace West! You stop right there!" she barked.

I turned around with a scowl.

"I may not be your mother, but you are staying in _my_ house and I won't tolerate your attitude," she said.

"I don't _want_ to be staying in your house!" I said angrily.

_And you don't want me here either. No one wants me!_

"I don't want to be here! Do you really think I'd be here if you'd given me a choice?" I demanded.

"Like it or not you _are here,_ and while you're here you'll respect the rules!" she said.

_I've made her angry, all she's done for me and I made her angry. _

I felt a pressure behind my eyes and yelled so I could distract myself, force away the very threat of tears.

"You're right, I _am_ here," I said, "I'm here because my mom told me to be but seeing as her instructions nearly got Dad killed I don't think I'm going to do what she _tells _me to anymore!" I shouted, barely knowing what I was saying, just that I had to get out of there.

In an instant I turned around and ran, grabbing my backpack on the way out the door.

Three block's distance seemed sufficient for me to duck behind a dumpster and put on my costume. I remembered to stash the messenger bag into the backpack. Wally West and Kid Flash couldn't be seen carrying the same bag, after all.

Once I was completely ready, I bolted.

Sidewalk flew past and if I stopped and looked I was sure pedestrians would be stopping to turn their heads. I was a blur to the world and the world was a blur to me. All that mattered was the ground I was sprinting across. It didn't matter that I was sad, or angry, or frustrated, or anything. I didn't care, none of it was important. _None _of it was important. I pushed myself to move faster and I could feel the endorphins pumping through my system. I was alone. All alone, just running, just, _escaping_. I had nothing to worry about. Everything was fine, it was all fine.

I noticed that the sun was getting lower in the sky and wondered how long I'd been running. It didn't matter though. It felt too good to stop and I was on some wonderfully vacant road at the moment. I was just passing some farms with haystacks piled over my head when a red blur flew up next to me.

Next thing I knew there was an angry tug at the back of my costume and then I went flying through the air. I yelped as I braced for landing, but I needn't have. I ended up flying straight into a haystack and sliding to the ground in a cascade of straw, confused, but not hurt in the slightest.

I sat up and saw The Flash standing in front of me with his arms crossed.

_Crap, must have tracked me with the locator in the suit._

"You made your aunt cry," he growled.

I just stared at him, trying to catch up with what was going on.

"What makes you think it's okay to be horrible to your aunt, who's lost sleep because you disappeared, has been stressing over your well being constantly, and has spent _hours_ worrying over her brother who she can't get time off work to go and see?"

My eyes found the ground pretty quickly after that statement.

"I know you're upset but your behavior is inexcusable! I don't care what's going on through that head of yours, you will show Iris the respect she deserves!" He yelled.

"Sorry," I mumbled.

"No, you said you were sorry last night after you ran off to Gotham, eavesdropped on me and Batman and _kicked _me, yet here you are _again_ making life difficult for everyone around you!"

_Told you! Told you that you were a burden. Worthless, useless, heartless. Failure. Told you that your mom didn't want you and that your aunt and uncle don't think you're worth the effort. You didn't want to believe it but no one wants you. No one. _Said the voice in my head.

I could feel Uncle Barry's glare.

_They hate me. They hate me. I knew they would, I just knew it. Uncle Barry never wanted to deal with you in the first place, did he? No one wanted to deal with you, that's why your dad went for drugs. You're annoying everyone says so. Out loud, in their body language, in their expressions. Everyone says so. Superboy said it today._

"Wally, look at me when I'm talking to you!"

I obeyed, looking into his eyes, feeling the weight of his disgust.

"How could you just run off like that? After worrying her sick yesterday, how could you do that to her?"

I didn't say a word.

"Look, I'm sorry that things aren't working out for you right now, but you need to grow up!"

_Grow up. You're annoying, immature. Maybe if you were better your dad wouldn't have snapped under the pressure._

"Okay," I whispered.

"What?" my uncle snapped.

"Okay," I repeated.

"Okay, what?" demanded my uncle.

"Just…okay. I'll be better," I mumbled, looking away again.

"I'll believe it when I see it," snapped my uncle.

I didn't reply.

"Come on, you need to go apologize," he said.

I stood up and ran home, the sprint back not nearly as exhilarating as the sprint there. I dreaded the destination more than I could say.

I started getting really hungry around halfway there, I guessed that I had traveled farther than I realized before my uncle caught up with me. I didn't say a word though, not wanting to annoy my uncle.

Flash zoomed to our neighborhood and he and I changed in an alley a block from his house before walking in.

I felt dizzy by the time I made it the house and my aunt Iris was sitting on the couch.

"Iris, Wally has something to say to you," said my uncle.

My aunt came over to me.

"Sorry for being a jerk," I mumbled.

"You need to understand that I'm just trying to look out for you," she said stroking my hair.

_Just leave me alone. You don't want me here. I know that. _

"I know, I'm sorry."

"Go eat then," said my aunt with a sigh. "I've got a bowl of stew for you in the kitchen."

Dinner was uncomfortable enough to make me go to the guest room and stay there the rest of the night. Sleeping was near impossible. I would have run to burn off some steam but I didn't want to risk it, not with only one costume I'd managed to hide during my uncle's raid after dinner.

"_I can't seem to trust you not to run off anymore, so y__ou're grounded," said my uncle. "Give me your costumes."_

_I rummaged through my suitcase and gave them to him, all except one, which was luckily stuffed out of sight in one of the pockets._

"_I know you have another," he said sternly._

"_It was the one I wore today, in the backpack," I lied, knowing he had no idea I'd gone to the cave and grabbed a spare._

_He nodded and took that too. _

"_I'll give one to you if I deem it necessary. Until then, consider yourself a civilian. A grounded civilian. No going anywhere unless you have my permission first."_

"_Yes, Uncle Barry," I said. _

My uncle has rarely ever punished me, usually he leaves that to my parents, but now he's going all out. It was miserable. I'd just been lucky I'd been able to stash a costume away. I felt uneasy if I didn't have one, because whatever my uncle said about deeming it necessary was dependent on his ability to deem it necessary. If he was hurt and there was danger…

I shuddered at the idea of having to put my ID at risk because I didn't have a costume and rolled over in bed, trying not to think to hard about it, or anything at all. It had been the kind of day I just wanted to forget about and I knew tomorrow would be even worse. The only sleep I managed to catch was a couple hours here and there, sandwiched between nightmares about my dad sobbing about what a failure I was before he added another track mark to his arm.


	17. Chapter 17: Therapy

**The bolded quotes in this chapter are taken directly from Young Justice Disordered.**

"Wally, it's time to get ready to—oh you're already up."

My uncle had walked into my room, probably to wake me up to go to the cave. I was already up and dressed though, had been since five. I'd been sitting on the bed, which I'd made for once, doing homework until I was actually a couple days ahead of my class, something I've never done but seeing as I gave away everything except my clothes, advanced books and my video games (which I couldn't use when I was grounded) I didn't have much else to do.

"Morning," I said quietly. "Is it time to go to the cave?"

"Uh, no," said my uncle. "Canary's been pretty caught up this week with work and her hero work, so she won't be at the cave until after five, but you need to get up so we can go help your mom. I called her last night and she mentioned that she was packing up the house today," he said.

I knew by the way Uncle Barry said the sentence that mom probably didn't want us to come. I decided not to make a jerk of myself by pointing that out though, he'd figure out that we weren't welcome without my help.

"I'm ready when you are," I said with a shrug, dreading going to see my mom when I knew she didn't want me around.

"Have you eaten?" asked my uncle raising an eyebrow. Stepping further into the room.

My brow furrowed as I rewound the last four hours I'd been awake.

"Oh…guess not," I said.

"Well go grab something," said my uncle sternly.

I grimaced, wanting to just bite the bullet and leave to see mom now, but that wasn't an option so I just went downstairs, my stomach tying itself in knots.

There were rarely leftovers at the Allen household and today was no exception. Normally I wouldn't have a problem with whipping something up but I wanted to go see Mom before my nerves kicked up too much. I hurriedly ate about four packets of instant oatmeal and since I knew my uncle was watching to see if I was going to skimp myself on food, some fruit and toast too.

I still felt horrible when we went to the car, but I quite as jittery. That was probably because I ate for a change…

_I really am an idiot. I bet I would have handled life a whole lot better lately if I hadn't been stupid enough to skip meals._

_But food just seemed so nauseating… _I argued with myself.

_It's all in your head, stop being pitiful. _There's the voice I know and love.

"Wally, put your seatbelt on," said my uncle.

I stopped staring into space and obliged.

We drove and I leaned against the back of the seat. I could see in the side mirror that my face was blank, which was good. I didn't want to worry uncle Barry. I kept my breathing slow, fixating on my face to make sure I was keeping a calm exterior.

_That's it Wally. No biggie. So you're going to see your mom after she told you not to come, it's not like you need to make a big deal out of it. She'll just turn you away and then you can leave. It'll be fine._

We approached the house and I got out of the car mechanically.

Uncle Barry rang the doorbell as I skulked behind him.

Mom opened the door wearing jeans and a tee shirt. She looked exhausted and her hair was messy.

"Barry?" my mom asked in confusion. "What are you doing here?"

"Me and Wally came over to help you pack," he said cheerfully.

Mom frowned.

"I told you that I didn't need any help."

"I know, but it's a big job, so I figured—"

"Isn't Wally supposed to be at the cave?" she queried.

"Well, there was a last minute change of plans so he won't have to go until this evening," said my uncle.

My mom sighed.

"Look, Barry, I appreciate it, but I was actually going to head out in a bit to see Rudy, so…"

"It's no problem, we can pack while you're away," said my uncle.

"You don't know what I'm packing and what I'm selling, really, it's easier if I just do it myself," she said irritably.

"Well are there any places where you're selling mostly everything? Like the garage?" he asked.

Mom glared.

"I guess that would be fine," she said reluctantly.

"Great. And we can finish packing up Wally's room and get the stuff he left behind," said my uncle.

Mom gave me a look, but I avoided her eyes.

"All Wally's things are at your house, except the furniture, which I'm selling," she said.

"Ah, right," said my uncle in discomfort. "We'll get started on the garage then," he said and I followed him to the side of the house.

The place was a mess. It was full of dirt and spiders and old tools. The bicycle from when I was a kid was rusting next to the lawnmower and a broken down outdoor table and chair set was gathering mold.

We rolled up our sleeves, closed the door, and kicked into super speed.

It took forever for us to pack sort everything into piles to either be sold or thrown out but to most people it would only be a matter of minutes. We needed to shift into normal time when we were taking the junk out to the curb and uncle Barry chose to speak up around that time.

"Well need to gather everything your mom wants to sell and have a yard sale," he said.

I didn't reply.

"And we'll need to scrub out the garage, but that'll need to wait until we get all the stuff we're selling out."

"Uncle Barry, is there something you're not telling me?" I asked, ignoring the prattle.

"What do you mean?" he asked.

"Mom said she was selling my furniture, including my bed. That didn't seem to surprise you."

My uncle paused and looked at me with a fake smile.

"Well, kiddo. Your mom and I talked it over last night and she says she's worried she won't have enough time to give you the attention you deserve, so…"

"She can't afford to keep me, can she?"

My uncle's smile dropped.

"It's only temporary, kid, just until she gets back on her feet," he said.

I looked at the ground.

"Sure it is," I said and went back into the garage.

My uncle followed but kept quiet. What was there to say anyway?

Uncle Barry ordered pizza for lunch while Mom was visiting dad. When she came back she had Uncle Barry and I transport the furniture she was selling to a used furniture store. She'd talked to the owner beforehand and he'd said he'd give her what he could for the stuff which was code for "I'm gonna rip you off" which is why she sent Uncle Barry.

Mom's prized china cabinet, dad's favorite armchair, a couple side tables, my dresser, my bedframe, our dining room table and chairs, and a few other odds and ends all had to go. It took a few trips and some haggling on Uncle Barry's part but we walked away with a wad of cash to give to mom. I was relieved that she would have enough to get her comfortably through her first month without dad, at least.

The whole time Uncle Barry tried to talk to me but I just did what most teenagers were famous for and answered in short, few word, replies. I really hated the fact that he was talking just to fill the silence. Why did he not understand that there was nothing to say?

By the time the garage cleaning and furniture selling was over it was time to go, so Uncle Barry loaded me up in the car, promising to come back tomorrow.

I dreaded it. I could think of nothing less appealing then to come back and slowly but surely got rid of all the belongings Mom had accumulated throughout her marriage to Dad. I dreaded being reminded that _I _was one of those items.

I just couldn't get it out of my head, the way Mom wouldn't look at me, the way she wouldn't talk to me unless she was telling me to move something or pack something.

"She doesn't mean to hurt your feelings kid," my uncle said out of the blue as we drove to the zeta tubes.

I didn't reply and my uncle continued.

"Really, she doesn't. It's just hard on her, to not be able to take care of you, to not be able to protect you from everything that's going on. She's ashamed that she hasn't been a good mother to you lately and she just doesn't know what to do."

"Did she say that?" I asked wearily.

"Yes, she did."

I looked up in confusion.

"When she asked if you could stay with us for a while she explained that she was renting a one bedroom so she could pay for a training program at her work. She says it only takes three months and once she graduates she'll be able to…"

"Three months?" I asked, my head jerking towards my uncle. "I'm going to have to stay with you for three months?!" I demanded.

"It's not that bad, kid it's only temporary," said Flash.

I kept my mouth shut, like my mom always told me to do when I had nothing nice to say.

"Listen, Wally…"

"We're here," I said shortly.

My uncle stopped the car, having gotten distracted and almost passed the alley where the zeta beam was.

"Later," I said hopping out of the car before he could stop me and running to the zeta beam.

The computer recognized me and I headed for the main room, wondering who all was there and if M'gann had come out of her room yet.

The first person I saw was Robin, who was sitting on the couch.

He looked up when I came into the room and looked away uncomfortably, withdrawing as he tended to do when he was really upset by something.

I left him alone…well, as much as one _could_ be alone in a big open room with other people in it. The next person I saw was Aqualad. He was sitting next to Superboy on a stool at the kitchen bar. M'gann was cooking, a whole picnic of ingredients laid out in front of her. Her eyes were hollow. I felt sad for her, and wanted to say something, but there was nothing I could think of.

"Hello, Wally," said Kaldur quietly, spotting me as I went over to an armchair far away from Robin, to give him space.

"Hi," I said quietly before sitting down and pulling my knees up to my chest.

It was quiet again and after a couple minutes, I no longer felt like the awkward newcomer in the room. In fact, I felt like I'd been there the whole time, soaking up the atmosphere of misery.

It was so very quiet. That's why we all jumped about a foot when M'gann slammed a bowl against the counter.

"What's wrong?" asked Conner, on his feet within a second.

"It's ruined, I added the oil twice," she said in a raw tone.

"Don't worry about it M'gann," started Conner. "It's no big deal."

"I'll have to start all over!" she said starting to get upset. "I worked so hard on it, but of course I can't do anything right can I?" she muttered rhetorically.

I stood up and went into the kitchen. Aqualad and Robin watched me silently and Superboy glared, probably expecting me to make some unwanted comment about how cute M'gann is or something.

M'gann was looking down at the bowl with tears in her eyes when I approached her.

Gently, I took the bowl from her and went over to the counter. I skimmed over the instructions in the cookbook she had open and reached for the flour.

"What are you doing?" asked M'gann, wiping her eyes as I duped in a cup and a half of flour into the mixture.

"Doubling the recipe," I said calmly. "That'll balance out the extra oil. Now why don't you come here and show me what else you added before the oil."

M'gann sniffed and then approached me.

"Well, I added some sugar…"

"Brown or white?"

"Both."

"Okay," I said before continuing to correct her mistake.

A couple minutes and one shift to a larger bowl later, balance had been restored to the batter (which turned out to be for chocolate chip cookies.)

"There," I said once I'd reached the point where M'gann left off. "All fixed, just needs a bit more stirring."

"Thanks," M'gann muttered. "I didn't think of that."

"That trick comes with experience," I said with a shrug. "Adding something twice is a common mistake." The reassurance was subtle and M'gann looked a bit less depressed after the statement.

I was about to leave the kitchen when Black Canary entered the room. I had been unaware that she was already here but I guess I was the only one as the others didn't look at all surprised.

Almost everyone immediately averted their eyes; the way students did when a teacher asked a question they didn't want to be called on for. Conner was the only one to meet her gaze, and he did so with a glare. That was his mistake.

"Conner," she called softly.

Conner, who was already standing, moved towards her and followed her out of the room.

The door shut and silence echoed through the room.

Not one of us said a word.

M'gann's shoulders hunched and I moved towards her, but stopped when I felt a hand on my shoulder. I turned and saw Kaldur shake his head at me. I nodded in understanding and left the kitchen, sitting back down at one of the counter stools.

Kaldur leaned against a counter, showing M'gann he was there by giving her space.

A minute after everyone had resituated (except Robin, who hadn't moved at all) a robotic voice echoed through the cave announcing Artemis's arrival.

I heard the clack of her heels and she entered the room, looking self-conscious.

"Sorry I'm late," she muttered.

No one said anything. She looked extremely unsettled by the atmosphere in the room and the lack of response though so I took pity on her after a minute.

"You haven't missed anything," I said softly.

Knowing this was as good of a greeting as she was going to get she click clacked her way over to where I was sitting. She winced at the noise her shoes were making and stopped behind me, leaning against the couch.

"How've you been?" she whispered, still not immersed enough in the tension to be okay with complete silence…well, unless you counted the sound of M'gann stirring the batter.

"Awesome," I muttered tonelessly before resting my chin on the counter top.

She shut up after that and looked away. I felt pretty bad for her. She had no clue what we were going through, which made must have her feel even more out of place than she already did, being the newest on the team.

I couldn't say anything to make her feel better though. Sometimes there was just nothing to say.

Canary came in a few minutes later. Her face was blank, but she can't have been gone for more than five minutes, which meant that Conner had probably run off.

_Well, at least he tried,_ I thought dryly.

"Artemis," Canary called and I felt relief for my teammate. I bet BC picked up on how awkward the blonde was feeling the second she walked into the room and had come to her rescue.

The blonde click clacked out of the room and sound all but vanished once again. Everyone looked up though when M'gann set her bowl down though. She pulled out a knife and started chopping up semisweet chocolate to put into her extremely well stirred concoction.

Absently, I wondered where Superboy had gone. For a second I thought of looking for him but shot down the idea at once, knowing it was best to leave Conner alone until he was ready to come back.

I watched M'gann work on the cookies to pass the time. She preheated the oven, finished adding the ingredients, shaped each cookie meticulously, and put each one on the baking sheet. She started washing measuring cups until the oven was preheated. I noticed that she didn't use her powers. Not to shape the cookies, not to clean up the flour, not to wash the doughy measuring cups.

I frowned as I watched her put the cookies in and set the timer, wondering if she'd used her abilities at all since the simulation.

Canary came in just after M'gann had gone back to cleaning the kitchen. Artemis wasn't with her, not that I blamed the girl for wanting to come back to this room. Glancing at the clock I realized that Artemis had been gone around twenty minutes.

_Yeesh, she didn't even have any trauma to deal with and she still lasted way longer than Supey._

"Aqualad," she called.

He left and I amused myself by trying to figure out what order she was calling us in.

_Alphabetical? No. Supey is at the end. Reverse alphabetical? No, because Artemis was next. Hmm…order of death in the simulation? And Artemis didn't go first because she wasn't here yet? Nah, that's not right. Kaldur died before Supes._

I suppressed a chill. I hadn't had time really to worry over the situation, given everything that happened at home, but now I was here it was impossible not to think about what happened.

_Don't worry about it, just focus…_

_Okay, okay, back to the order. M'gann is last but that doesn't make much sense since she's the most traumatized. Yet again she'll probably take the most time and BC doesn't want her to feel self-conscious knowing we're all waiting on her…_

_Wait…M'gann is the most traumatized…and Artemis and Supey were first, and they're the least disturbed by this from what I can see. Kaldur went next, but he missed the final stretch, the worst stretch…she's saving us for last, that must be it._

I scowled when I realized what that meant. Canary was prepared to have a nice long conversation with me, to talk about all the pressure I've been under. I had been so caught up in everything that I never really thought about what a session with Black Canary would entail but the more I thought about it the more aware I became of what a _horrible_ idea it was.

_No freaking way she can help me. At all. I annoy Black Canary to death. She thinks I'm just a stupid, impulsive, flirt and she only tolerates me because it's her job. No way am I discussing anything, especially personal things, with someone who doesn't even know me._

_In fact, I'm pretty sure she hates me. The happiest she's ever been in my company was when she was kicking my butt to prove a point during our first sparing lesson._

_I have to do something, I can't sit around and have that woman psychoanalyze me, it's not going to happen. I need to do something…think…Oh! Right I annoy her, so I just have to be annoying, really, really annoying. Flirtatious! Yes. And I need to be eating something. Something messy and obnoxious, something with a crunch to it. Chips maybe? Nah, too predictable…_

I shifted my chair as I sat up and it made a scraping noise against the floor. M'gann and Robin stared at me. I blushed and I suddenly felt like a jerk for watching M'gann the whole time she was cooking. They looked away. I fidgeted again and my cast banged against the counter. They stared again.

_That's it! I'm done with this freaking silence!_

I stood up and marched into the kitchen, deciding to escape the scrutinizing stares by fishing out my battle snack. I dug through the cupboards and found popcorn.

_Perfect. It's obnoxiously noisy to make, an excellent distraction, and there's an irony to bringing it to a therapy session, like I'm watching something entertaining. That's perfect! It goes with the whole flirting angle. Wonderful. I shall ogle this woman while stiffing popcorn down my throat like I'm watching some kind of show._

Grabbing up a bag of butter lovers popcorn from the cupboard I spitefully opened it and shoved it into the microwave.

Robin glared at me as the sound of popping filled the air, but I ignored him as I pulled out a blue plastic bowl from the cupboard.

I had a battle of wills to prepare for.

I popped two bags of hot buttery popcorn, using the sound of the exploding kernels to block out the weight of M'gann and Robin's depression.

I had finished making the snack and had been munching on it for a solid fifteen minutes when Canary came back.

"Wally," she called.

I followed her cheerfully with popcorn in hand.

We got to a room that had a freaking _waterfall _in it and there were two chairs across from one another. It was like a therapists office out of a television show

I sat upside down just to tick her off and started popping popcorn into my mouth.

It was quiet.

"Wally, I know you've been going through a lot lately, is there anything you want to talk about?" she asked.

"Nope, I'm doing just peachy," I said, stuffing a bit more popcorn into my mouth.

"I heard about your father. Dealing with that sort of pressure on top of—"

"Keep talking about my family and I swear I'll leave right now," I said, my smile dropping. "I hear it at school I hear it at home, I'm not putting up with it here," I said flatly.

Canary blinked, having expected a more evasive tactic from me. I may be honest about some things, but usually when it was something so personal I never took the direct approach.

"Um…let's move onto the simulation then," she said.

"Okay," I said cheerfully, going back to eating my popcorn.

"How have you been coping with that?"

"I haven't really been too worried about it," I said honestly.

"**So, you want me to believe that after **_**everything **_**you went through, including your own death from fiery explosion, you're peachy?"**

"**I'm uh, fairly certain I never used the word peachy,"** I said ignoring the fact that I totally had. (Not like she could ever prove it, right?) **"but, uh, I think you got the gist."**

"**So you really have no interest in confronting your extreme reaction to Artemis's death?"**

I opened my mouth angrily to tell her that Artemis was my _teammate _and my _friend_ and that _of course_ I had an extreme reaction to her death, but I ended up choking on a popcorn kernel and having to sit up to breathe properly.

The reaction irritated me because I knew it would only solidify the notion she seemed to have that I _liked_ Artemis.

I didn't argue once I'd got my breath back though, I realized that there was no point as she never took anything I said seriously anyway.

"**I'd rather talk about you, Babe,"** I said just to get her off my back.

"**Wally, you're in denial," **she said, clearly not amused.

"**I'm comfortable with that,"** I said cheekily.

"You might be comfortable not thinking about it now, Wally but you can't run from your problems. I know you've been having a hard time. It's fine to admit that you're feeling sad, stressed, betrayed…"

"Betrayed?" I asked with a raised eyebrow. On the outside I was nonchalant, but on the inside I was cracking my knuckles.

_I _dare_ you to say what I think you're gonna say, lady. I just _dare _you._

"Well yes, between your father turning to drugs and your mother abandoning—"

_Oh no you didn't, lady._

"Woah there, Babe you're way off base," I said, barely controlling my anger enough to keep my tone playful.

"Well then, tell me what's going on, talk to me," she encouraged.

"I don't think so," I said leering at her. "You see we can't _all_ wear our emotions on our sleeves like you do," I snapped. The insult hadn't been intentional. It was really just impulsive, to be honest.

"What's that supposed to mean?" asked Canary. I could tell she was trying to be neutral but the defensive look on her face egged on the inner me that was itching to tear her to shreds for slamming my parents. The next thing I knew I was letting her have it.

"It means that you telegraph," I said and I noticed the way Canary hardened at that.

"You've heard that a lot before, I know you have," I said. "Roy told me once that Green Arrow would scold you for it sometimes when the two of you would spar. I noticed that you do it in social situations too.

That can be a good thing, of course. I mean, who would do a better job as a den mother to a group of teenagers than a woman whose compassion can be felt a block away? Of course it does make you painfully easy to read," I said unkindly.

"Is that so," challenged Canary. "Well then, Wally, tell me about myself."

It was the look in her eyes; the condescending one that said she didn't believe I could do it that really set me off.

I sat up in my chair and set the popcorn down. I was done kidding around.

I looked coldly into Black Canary's eyes and suddenly the observations I barely even remember making tumbled out of my mouth.

"You come from a loving family. I can tell by the way you look at Superboy when Superman blows him off. You pity him, but there's no comprehension in your eyes. You can't relate, at all.

You see my parents' actions as betrayal, an indicator that you've never really had to deal with the kind of situation I've been working through. This could mean you lead a sheltered life before joining the league, meaning you were well provided for: more evidence of a loving family.

You're very self confident as well. This is evidenced by the fact that you chose to fight crime in a strapless _corset_. You're also not flattered when you're hit on by anyone other than Green Arrow. That means that you've had guys telling you how pretty you are your whole life and you believe them, which you totally should don't get me wrong, but if you weren't confident in yourself you wouldn't acknowledge it as a fact.

As for your relationship with Green Arrow, you get along with him despite the fact that he probably ogles you more than I do because he's not as stuck up as he seems at first glance, just like you. He's also smart and kind, like you are, and is optimistic and cheerful enough to fulfill your emotional needs, and of course there's the matter of physical attraction. Obviously there's a lot of _that_ because half the time you're sore during spars is from your dates, not "_the job" _as you so persistently claim. Every. Single. Time. You're sore. Honestly if you just said 'motorcycle accident' or 'pulled muscle' every once in a while it'd be much more believable.

Your relationship with Roy is better than Ollie's is because you tried really hard to get on his good side when you started dating Ollie and while Roy resisted it at first he gave in eventually because he craved a maternal figure in his life and you were the first of Ollie's girlfriends that didn't strike him as having false compassion, which relates back to my statement that you telegraph your emotions.

I used to like you when you were just Roy's kind-of-sort-of-mom because you made him happy, then of course you butchered any chance of me continuing my respect for you with your telegraphing. I realized pretty quickly by your facial expressions that you thought I was an imbecile fan boy that magically got his powers because I wanted to be like Flash and that I became a vigilante as the result of a juvenile pipe dream and that I had no true merit to my abilities.

You might have redeemed yourself in my eyes if I hadn't overheard you telling Ollie that I was a bad influence on Roy, due to the fact that you overheard us talking about how hot you are. Though if you had actually _listened_ you'd have realized that it was _Roy _who started that conversation and was participating in it the most, not me.

Either way, from that moment on you ignored me except for when I hit on you, during which time you'd look at me like I was dirt. That made me all the more determined to tick you off which is why I hit on you all the time, in case you were wondering. Also, just to clarify something else that might be confusing you: on the rare occasions that you do praise me I don't jump at it like a starving dog because I like you or want your approval, it's because if I did something good enough for _you_ to put aside your distaste for me long enough to give me a compliment I must've been pretty freaking awesome. Of course now that I realize how worthless your opinion is I won't make that mistake again.

I walked into this conversation knowing that speaking with you would have no merit because not only do you dislike me as much as I dislike you, but any and all psychological analyses you have made regarding me in the past have been wrong."

Canary's eyes were comically wide and her mouth was open in a long-forgotten retort. There was shock, anger, and disbelief in her expression and she looked ready to reprimand me, but I headed her off.

"I know, I know, I've been disrespectful. You're an adult after all and on top of it you're a respected member of the Justice League, but here's the bottom line, lady," I spat, "you don't ever, _ever_, insult my parents. I don't care who you are, you don't _ever_ tell me that my mother abandoned me. You don't even know her. You don't know her, you don't know my dad, and you don't know me, so don't bother calling me in here again, you stuck up jerk!"

I picked up my popcorn and left the room.

I stormed into my room at the cave and set the popcorn bowl down angrily, pacing back and forth.

_How dare she?! How dare she say a word about my parents. Stuck up woman, she has no idea._

_She'll make you pay for that though._

_She deserved it!_ _She deserved whatever I dished out at her!_

_But…you was so rude, and awful, and disrespectful, and…_

_She said my parents betrayed me, that your mother abandoned me!_

_That's true…_

_She insulted them!_

_She did, but you know that she's going to run crying to your uncle and you're going to get in trouble all over again. He'll take her side over yours too: he thinks your mother's abandoned you too._

I felt furious at this because I knew it was true.

_Well, not much I can do about it, he's apparently my guardian now,_ I thought bitterly. I kicked the foot of my bed. I was sick of it. I was so freaking sick of people telling me what to do. First Mom told me not to say anything to Dad, then Batman told me to wait patiently while he handled the situation, then my uncle started watching me like a hawk, caging me confining me, controlling where I go and what I do. And, after all that Canary thinks she can try and get inside my head and tell me that I'm not feeling what she thinks she should feel?

_How dare she! Of course no one else will see it that way will she? She'll just run to Uncle Barry. It makes me so mad, I wish I could just live on my own, then I wouldn't have to deal with people scrutinizing me._

_That's your problem._

_What?_

_The fact that you still have guardians._

_What else am I supposed to do?_

_Get emancipated._

_What?!_

I blinked at the spontaneous thought.

_Where did _that_ come from?_

_Think about it. Your parents can't take care of you anymore so they stuck you with your aunt and uncle. But they don't want you either; you know this. You're just a burden. Do you really want to spend the next three months as a burden? And what about once you move back with your mom? She can't afford you either._

_So I get emancipated? I won't be able to support myself! Mom would never sign off on that either. _I shook my head as if that would bat away the crazy idea forming inside it.

_Get a job._

_Right because a minimum wage job would totally convince Mom that I should be living on my own. I'm still in high school for goodness sake!_

_Graduate._

_Seriously?_

_You're smart enough to graduate early._

_Oh right, that'll give me even _less_ time to save up for college. _I said, rolling my eyes.

_Get a scholarship._

_I'd really have to prove myself for that; the school I go to isn't exactly top-notch._

_You're living with your aunt and uncle right?_

_Uh, yeah?_

_Don't they live in a different school district?_

_Switch schools?_

_They say Central Prep has a good dual enrollment program._

_They're on a semester system! Four of their classes on half of the year, four of their classes the other half. My school has classes year round on an A day B day schedule, I'll only be halfway through each of my classes at the mid point of this year! I can't honestly expect to be able to transfer to…_

_Other students have done it, and if you take four classes at a college for dual enrollment you won't be behind at all._

_This is crazy…_

_It's brilliant. If you prove yourself spring semester, you might be able to get in on the grant they have for students to take summer classes. You could graduate at the end of your junior year, maybe sooner._

_But, I still can't afford…_

_If you graduate from Central Prep with that many college credits getting a scholarship would be a cinch._

_But isn't Central Prep a private school?_

_Look it up._

I found myself getting up and moving, making a beeline for the computer lab.

_This is crazy_. I thought as I booted up a laptop.

_It'll never work._

I pulled up the internet and did a search on Central Prep.

_Where did this even come from all of the sudden._

My eyes scanned the site and I realized that it really was just a public school, no cost, no nothing, you just had to maintain a certain GPA to stay enrolled.

Daydreams danced through my head. Me graduating high school early, leaving home early, going to college and earning my bachelor's in less time than I could have possibly hoped. Then I thought about the near future. If I was enrolled in Central Prep _and_ a local college, I'd hardly ever be home, I'd spend all my time either studying or super-heroing.

_The less time you spend at home, the less time anyone will have to boss you around, the less time people have to boss you around, the less you'll argue. The less you argue, the less of a burden you'll be. And if you're out of the house a whole year early…_

I pulled up the website for my current high school and sent an email to my counselor, begging for an appointment on Monday.

_I'm doing it. _I thought with gritted teeth. _The days of lazy Wally West are over. I'm going to get so far so fast that in a year or so no one will be able to tell me what to do ever again._

I ended up taking the laptop with me and, after finding a pen and notebook, barricaded myself in the room I used when I spent time here to plan.

Two hours later pages of written information surrounded me. There were the basics, little things I would need to know to successfully transfer and get into dual enrollment, but there was more than that. I'd researched each and every college partnered with Central Prep on dual enrollment and chosen the one that suited me best, Keystone University of Science. How did I know what suited me best? Simple, I picked the one that had would allow me to graduate with a degree in forensic science.

I'd long ago decided that it was the best option. I loved science and the career would help me with my skills in the hero field. Not to mention the fact that Uncle Barry has proved through years of experience that that career field worked fine with the whole tights and capes gig.

So I picked my college for not only dual enrollment, but for getting my degree. No sweat, and as an added bonus the school had a five year program in my field that would allow me to obtain my masters along with my bachelors.

My next move was to figure out what classes were offered for dual enrollment that fulfilled the requirements for Keystone's gen ed classes as well as the classes needed for forensics.

Scholarships of course were also necessary to research and before I knew it I had the next two years of my life planned out.

I was sitting on my bed eating the popcorn I'd made (it was a little cold and stale at this point but, whatever) and reviewing my research when someone knocked on the door.

"One sec!" I called.

Dreading an encounter with Canary, I hastily put the popcorn back on the dresser before grabbing up the laptop and notes and shoving them in a dresser drawer.

I opened the door warily and found Superboy standing in the door, looking uncertain.

"Hey, Supes," I said, relieved that it was only him. "Where have you been?"

"Out with the Forever People, battling Desaad," he said flatly.

I stared.

"Okay, run that by me again?"

Superboy opened his mouth but I held up a finger.

"Wait, hold that thought, have you done a report on this?" I asked, thinking it'd be easier to read the report then try and interrogate the man of few words.

"No, I just got back," he said.

"Did you talk to Batman at all?" I asked, wondering if I was the first to hear of this epic battle.

"No. I think he's busy. Captain Marvel wanted to talk but I wanted to ask you something…though I probably should do the report before I forget anything."

I could tell by his tone that he thought I was trying to get rid of him and he looked so dejected that I immediately felt like I'd thrown a kitten outside during a thunderstorm.

"It's fine Supes, we'll do it together," I said, going to the dresser and pulling the laptop out of the drawer. "You dictate and I'll write it down for you," I said, plopping down on the bed and motioning for Supes to sit down as well.

"Why do you have one of the cave's laptop's in your dresser?" asked Conner.

"Just one of my many quirks," I said, opening up a new file in the Cave's database to type up what he had to say.

"Now, what happened today?"

It was a really crazy story. Weapons from other planets, hot shape shifters (was Conner a magnet for those or what?), Sphere being stolen alien tech…

"You know what this means right?" I asked as I finished typing.

"What?" asked Conner.

"Sphere needs a new cooler name now that we know she's she's A) a girl and B) an alien girl," I said.

"If you think I'm calling her babe, you've got another thing…"

I burst out laughing. "Babe? Seriously?" I snorted. "Actually I was thinking The Super Cycle would be a cool name."

Conner looked thoughtful.

"That works," he said.

"Great, well since we're in agreement, let's put that in as a final comment in the report," I said, finishing up the file and submitting it.

"There," I said before closing my laptop. "Now that that's off your mind, what's up? You said you wanted to ask me something?"

"It's nothing," he said.

"Ah, ah, Conner, you never knock on someone's door for nothing, what's on your mind?"

Superboy looked at the ground, insecurity in his features.

I frowned.

"Does this have anything to do with your session with Canary?" I asked.

He shrugged.

"You ran off on her, didn't you?"

"Yea," he grumbled.

I sighed.

"It's okay…" I hesitated to say more, but realized that if anyone could sympathize with my loss of temper, it was the Kryptonian. "I kind of ran off too."

"_You_ did?" asked Conner, looking surprised.

"Yea…I kind of yelled at her too…"

"You're kidding, right?" he asked giving me a strange look.

"No," I said, running a hand through my hair.

"Wow. Why?" he asked.

I shrugged, "I don't know Supes, why'd _you_ run?" I asked tiredly.

He frowned.

"She kept saying she understood, that she knew how I felt…but I didn't tell her how I felt, she just guessed and…and she was wrong," he said softly.

"The same thing happened to me," I admitted.

"Really?" Superboy looked so relieved. "So I'm not the only one then?"

"The only one who what?" I asked.

"The only one who…who didn't feel what they should have…" he said.

"About the simulation?" I asked confused.

Catching onto my confusion Conner's confidence fell again.

"It's nothing, don't worry about it," he muttered.

"Whatever it is, you can tell me," I said reassuringly. "I won't judge you or think anything bad about you."

Superboy raised an eyebrow at that. "Seriously? What if I told you I was a genocidal lunatic?"

"Supey, you're too nice to be a genocidal lunatic," I said with a chuckle.

"How do you know?" he asked morosely.

"Conner, I've known you since the day you were born…well activated, I guess…either way, I know _you_. You're a good guy, a good friend."

"Maybe…I'm not as good as everyone thinks I am," he said.

"No one's really as good as people think they are," I said firmly, "we all have our flaws, man."

"Some people's are worse than others," he said.

"Why don't you tell me what this great, terrible, 'flaw' is and we'll see if it's really all that bad," I said.

He clenched his fists.

"I—during the simulation…even though everyone was dying…people just…they treated me like Superman. Even though everything was going wrong I was finally who I'd always wanted to be so I was…happy, I was fine with the world ending, fine with dying. I felt like everything was going to be okay."

It took me a moment to process all this and I found myself instantly trying to rationalize it, to make sense of what I'd just heard.

_He was happy? Why? How? Coping mechanism? I shifted around information in my head, trying to puzzle out what the rationale was. I knew there had to be one. After a minute my brain landed on an explanation, or rather a few explanations._

I turned to share them but paused when I saw the look on Superboy's face. He looked horrified, and sweat was beginning to roll down his face. I knew how he was feeling, he was waiting for anger, rejection.

"I can understand that," I said softly.

He looked at me in confusion.

"Huh?"

"It makes sense," I said with a shrug, "for a lot of reasons."

He looked at me; there was hope in his eyes as he waited for me to speak, to explain what had clearly been tormenting him all week.

"The most obvious explanation would be your Cadmus programming. I mean; they built you to _be_ Superman, so of course you were satisfied when you met that goal. And of course it makes sense that you didn't know how to react after that. I mean, in a situation as bad as the one we were in who wouldn't cling to happiness?

Of course that's not the only possibility. Did you ever consider the fact that you didn't get sucked into it as much as the rest of us did?"

Superboy looked confused.

"Think about it Con! Before you were activated you were _living _in a pod where the G-gnomes fed you a string of simulations like the one we were in just, you know, with different situations. On top of the fact that you're really close with M'gann and had some sort of crazy mind meld in Biyalia? I bet your subconscious knew that the situation wasn't real, even if your conscious self didn't," I said.

Superboy nodded slowly considering the possibility.

"Really, it's perfectly logical. If M'gann got confused because her subconscious thought Artemis had died, it makes perfect sense that you were calm because subconsciously you registered that nothing you were experiencing was real. Not only because you recognized telepathic influence from experience, but because you recognized _M'gann's _influence. You don't become close friends with a telepath without figuring out how to distinguish their emotions from your own while you're connected," I said.

"I guess, that's possible," said Superboy, but he didn't look completely sure, so I pulled out the final angle.

"And even if none of the above are correct, your feelings are still understandable," I said.

"I don't follow," Conner replied.

"Everyone deals with stress in different ways. It's perfectly normal to detach yourself from a traumatic situation. You're well trained enough to know you can't freak out when things get tough, so your mind just didn't let you register the negative emotions. The fact that you are feeling guilty and sad _now_ proves that whatever you felt was just your mind trying to cope.

We all did something similar if you think about it. Robin went into leader mode and detached himself from everyone, Kaldur went into soldier mode and convinced himself that nothing mattered but the battle at hand, and I just flat out lost touch with reality and convinced myself that everything was okay because my mind couldn't handle the truth," I said. "M'gann even detached herself to some extent, when we asked her to stop crying and get her head in the game she _did_ it. It's just something you have to do."

There was silence after my speech and Superboy seemed like he was really taking in what I'd told him.

"So…I'm not evil?"

"Evil? You? Come on Conner, if you were evil do you really think M'gann, who has been inside your _mind _would like you so much?" I said.

"I guess not…"

"And do you think Batman would let an evil person on the team?"

"No…"

"And do you really think I'd be friends with someone who was evil?"

"Maybe," he said, smirking slightly, "you are friends with Robin."

I gasped dramatically. "Broody Supey made a _joke_! The world is coming to an end!"

"I'll bring _you _to and end if you call me "Broody Supey" again," he grumbled.

"You'd have to catch me first," I pointed out.

"Easy, I'd just lay out a giant mousetrap with a sandwich lying on the catch."

"For shame Conner! Using something as sacred as a sandwich for your horrid plans," I wailed.

"Only you would think of a sandwich as sacred, idiot."

"You just don't appreciate the fine art of the sandwich. Don't worry though, I'm sure you'll figure it out when you're older."

"Oh, you're playing that card again?" said Conner.

"It's true, you're just a little—ah!"

Supey had pulled me into a headlock.

"I'm sorry, but who's little?"

I squirmed but Superboy's hold was too strong, so I did the mature thing and licked his hand.

"Eww!" he said, jerking his hand away.

I laughed at him, snorting like a pig as I did.

"Ugh! Why did I think it'd be a good idea to ask _you_ for advice?" he asked, jokingly.

"I was actually going to ask you that," I said honestly.

He looked at me with that blank "Isn't it obvious?" face he was famous for.

"Because you know how to explain things to me without…without sounding like you're talking down to me or just 'being patient' with me, and you understand things better than the others.

You know how to make people feel better when no one else can. Like when I brought M'gaan the food last you taught me to make last night, she _smiled _and asked me to teach her the recipe sometime. Then today, you fixed her cookies before she could even get all that upset. And the day we met, you let me come stay at your house even though I tried to kill you. You just…you seem to just _know_ things, that's why I wanted to ask you."

I smiled. "Thank you," I said sincerely.

Conner blushed, still uncomfortable with social interaction.

"I'm glad you think that. And you can come to me whenever, you know? It doesn't have to be just when you want advice, I'm always here if you wanna talk." I said.

Conner nodded.

"Alright then, you'd better go and tell Bats about The Super Cycle, he'll kill you if he finds that report before you tell him what happened."

"You're right. I should probably check on M'gann too…"

"That you should, make sure you ask for one of her cookies, it'd make her day," I advised.

He nodded and left the room.

I shook my head and went back to my stale popcorn.

**I was really inspired to write this chapter so I got it out pretty fast. The next chapter will pick up directly after this one leaves off so look forward to it. As always thanks to all my readers and reviewers.**


	18. Chapter 18: Harper

**Just a quick edit on the previous chapter. Wally didn't name Sphere NewGenesphere" he named her "The Super Cycle". New Genesphere was her official name, I got a bit mixed up, so I went back and changed the naming in the last chapter. **

** Also, I wanted to thank Ally Marton for inspiring me to write Roy into the story in an important role, I also want to thank the other reviewers who suggested bringing Roy in because it kept the thought in the back of my mind while I was writing this. **

It was evening, a couple hours after Connor had left my room.

It had been decided that it would be in the team's best interest to stay in the cave for the night. It was an opportunity for us to bond, and to talk about what happened if we needed to.

Artemis, had gone off to hang out with M'gann. The pretense was to let M'gann enjoy the experience of an "Earth girls' sleepover" with nail painting, chick flicks, and talk of boys, but there was an unspoken objective as well. M'gann needed someone to keep her mind off of the exercise and Artemis, who was the only one of us who wasn't traumatized, was the perfect candidate for the job.

This gave poor Conner a break from being the moral support committee, something that I think he desperately needed.

Aqualad had been pretty subdued and also chose to keep to himself. I probably would have gone to talk to him if Robin hadn't come to my room in need of a sparing partner/video game buddy/ person who wasn't going to force him to discuss the exercise. That had been good for both of us I think, not talking about anything meaningful.

It had been tricky at first, stepping out of the default depressed state we'd both been in lately, but pretty soon we managed to slip into our usual light banter and ignore the heavy mood hanging in the air.

The sparring match helped, we got pretty into it and had a good exchange of offense and defense until I suddenly found myself flat on my back. The status on the expensive, high-tech floor said fail, a usual for me when I sparred with Robin, but it'd been close this time.

"Way to go," said Robin, offering me hand up. "Keep this up and you might actually beat me someday," he taunted, but I could sense the compliment in there.

"Holy compliments, Batman! You really think so?" I asked; mimicking the squeaky voice he'd used on the news when he was nine.

Robin scowled. "I swear, the one time I use that phrase some reporter catches it on tape and people are _still _making internet memes about it!"

I laughed.

When Robin was young(er), he'd been out patrolling with Batman when they stumbled on a hostage situation. They'd just made it inside the building and taken control when they realized that the building was coming down due to some explosions the terrorists had set off. Little Robin had said "Holy destabilization, Batman! We need to hurry! And of course one of the hostages had been a reporter…with a tape recorder.

Poor Robin didn't stand a chance. Neither did Vicki Vale who Bruce Wayne dumped coincidentally after she aired the audio clip on the news along with commentary criticizing Batman for taking a kid into the field and condescending Robin for his funny yet childish exclamation.

Ever since then there's been stupid phrases ripping off his statement, things like: "Holy Mary Poppins, Batman, penguins _can_ fly!_"_ an interment meme showing The Penguin with his flying umbrella. Or _really_ unfortunate ones like: "Holy bread toppings, Batman, I can't believe it's not butter!" a product ad with a shot of some kid dressed like Robin

I was still laughing when Robin smirked.

"Well your memes are worse than mine Kid _Flash_," he said.

I scowled.

My meme, it was all over the internet, was a shot of me fighting a battle against Captain Cold…with ripped pants. Costume tears could be in pretty unfortunate places sometimes. I think that's the real reason that the Bats wear capes, because let me tell you, fighting criminals with your little red Flash briefs exposed? Not. Cool. At least it wasn't too recent. Like Robin, my "sidekick moment" had taken place at the beginning of my superhero career.

"Shut up," I gowled.

"Hey, at least they got your name right," he teased.

"Whatever, dude," I said walking away.

"Where you going? Afraid I'll kick your butt again?" he taunted.

"Metabolism," I said, heading towards the kitchen.

Robin trotted along behind me, like any teenage boy the mention of food peeked his interest.

"We got anything good?" he asked as I raided the cupboards.

"No, mostly cook from scratch stuff. Oh! Jackpot! I said as I opened the fridge.

"What?" asked Robin.

"There's ready made dough, cheese, sausage, and there's pizza sauce in the cupboard. You thinking what I'm thinking man?"

"Pizzas?"

"Yea!"

"You'll eat all of them yourself," Robin pointed out.

"Meh, I'll make a couple boxes of mac and cheese too then," I said.

Robin smirked.

"What?" I asked.

"I'd expect something a little fancier from you Mr. Chef," he said.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"M'gann was raving about some chicken recipe you made, I had no idea you were so domestic," he joked.

I rolled my eyes.

"Really Rob? The "I'm going to taunt you because you're a male that can cook" deal? I'd have expected that from the no brain "tough guys" at school, not you. Besides, you're the one that bakes cookies with Al," I said, taking care not to use Alfred's full name in the cave.

"Sheesh. Holy defensiveness, Batman, I've struck a nerve," Robin said, raising his hands in surrender.

_I guess my reaction was a little snippy._

"Stick to your day job, comedian," I said forcing down the snappishness as I started pulling ingredients from the cupboard.

"Take your own advice Sir-puns-a-lot," he quipped back, quick a flash.

"Does Batman train you in the art of smart-alec-ness or is that genetic?"

"Trade secret, if I told you I'd have to kill you," he said.

"Bats don't kill."

"Batman can make you wish we did," he said.

"Oh, I'm shaking in my sneakers," I said sarcastically.

"You should be," said Robin.

"Har, Har, you gonna help me with this, or what?" I asked, gesturing at the pizza waiting to be formed and the noodles waiting to be cooked.

"Nah, I like watching you do all the work," said Robin.

"You ever read _The Little Red Hen_?"**(1)** I asked knowing he had (He had a book of Fables on a shelf in his room, I'd flipped through it when he was in the shower.)

"I'll start the macaroni," said Dick and I was smug at having one upped Robin.

We were absorbed in our work for the next few minutes and didn't start talking again until the food was cooking.

"By the way, what was up with you the other day?" Robin asked

"Hm?" I asked vaguely as I pulled a spoon from the cupboard.

"When we were on the phone, you said you were at your uncle's. You said you'd tell me why later but you sounded kinda off."

The spoon slipped from my fingers. I grabbed it before it could hit the ground and hastily used it to stir the noodles.

My brain tried to think of an excuse, something easy, but my mind went blank. I could give him no believable excuse and silence was unacceptable. The day had left me so exhausted I could come up with no solution but to tell him. Robin had to find out sometime right?

"Well—the truth is, Rob…," I said looking at him. The light of the kitchen fell on his pale face and my shoulders slumped. Worry had overtaken Dick's countenance. The pastiness of his face stood out even more and the bags under his eyes—which were peeking out from under his sunglasses—He was a mess, more so than me. He just looked so _sick_ and I could see anxiety in his expression.

I felt weary.

I didn't have the heart to tell him. For a short, tired moment I had wanted to. I had wanted to tell Dick, to have the comfort of my best friend to help me through things but I just _couldn't._ I couldn't do that, not when he needed me to be his support. I couldn't allow myself to want his help when he couldn't even take care of himself at the moment. _Is this how Conner feels with M'gann?_

"I—my parents don't know about the simulation…I—they—"

_Excuse, excuse, need an excuse, excuse, excuse._

"They won a cruise from Dad's work, they left Monday. I didn't tell them about the simulation because I didn't want to mess up their trip, so they left me with my aunt and uncle…that's why I was there when you called," I said.

I watched as Robin's expression relaxed and for once the only voice in my head in the aftermath of the lie was a kind one saying: _It had to be done._

Dinner was quick as me and Robin both at like wolves (Yes, Robin too, I swear the kid must be going through a growth spurt) and then Robin coaxed me into a game of Scrabble.

Seriously, I hate that game to begin with, but Robin tries to use words like "whelmed", which is always irritating. Then, just my luck, it turns out that "whelmed" is actually in the dictionary causing me to lose my turn when I challenge him and that is just _wrong_. I played though, because Robin needed to be the spoiled, slightly bratty little brother for a while and _not_ Robin, Boy-wonder-how-he-carries-the-world-on-his-shoulders.

Robin looked so happy when he creamed me by over a hundred points that I consented to play a second game.

He was trying to talk me into a third when I finally put my foot down and we ended up watching a movie on television instead. The night was growing late but Robin claimed that there was a really good movie after the one we were watching, and then another after that one. I got the feeling he just didn't want to go to sleep. During the two am showing of some eighties movie Robin sprawled on the couch, too tired to even sit up straight up. I saw Robin's head sink down, then jerk up, then sink down, then jerk up. It was like watching a bobble head. Finally he lost the battle and his head slumped he passed out.

I sighed, wondering when he'd last had a good night's sleep. After all, staying up until two in the morning was usually nothing for a kid who was sometimes up twenty four to forty eight hours at a time.

Shaking my head, I went to the kitchen. I knew I probably wouldn't settle down enough to sleep for another hour or so I figured I might as well make a second dinner to ease my metabolism.

It was relatively peaceful, working quietly in the kitchen, and I started to relax again before I heard muted sobbing coming from the couch.

"Rob?" I asked, in alarm, walking over to the couch. He was crying in his sleep.

I cursed Batman and J'onn, and even poor M'gann (who wasn't to blame at all) for the stupid simulation as I shook his shoulder.

"Hey, buddy, wake up, it's just a dream," I whispered.

Dick stirred.

"Wally?" he asked tearfully and I knew he must be pretty disoriented if he didn't immediately try to put up the Robin front.

"It's alright, dude, it was just a dream," I said quietly.

He looked me straight in the eye.

"No, it wasn't," he said and his voice was raw, and dark with hollow honesty.

I had no idea what to say to that, so I put a hand on Dick's back as he buried his face in the couch to hide the tears.

"It's going to be fine," I whispered as he tried to settle down, but he couldn't get his emotions under control right away, another sign that he was pretty out of it. I wondered once again when he'd last slept.

"Don't even worry. You've got this, and even if you don't I'm here and the team is here and Bruce, and Alfred, and Dinah are here. We get it Dick, we really do. We can help you get traught again, okay? You won't always feel like this," I told him, whispering all the advice that I wouldn't follow myself and comforting him as best I could.

Dick didn't reply, but I kept talking softly until his shoulders stopped shaking.

"Let's get you to your room," I said offering my hand to Robin. He used it to pull himself to his feet but ended up swaying slightly. I put an arm around his shoulders and he leaned on me, still unsettled by the dream and not really awake. I could only hope this mean that he'd remember very little, if any of this in the morning.

I knew Dick's self-esteem was probably still sore from breaking down in front of a teammate, (even if it was just me) after the simulation and he'd never let himself live down having _two_ such outbursts in one week, no matter how justified.

The boy was developing a pride streak that came close to rivaling Batman's at times.

Luckily though, this pride didn't stop Robin from passing out on the bed the second we got to his room, which instantly made the situation less awkward. I didn't linger after he was out but I did flip a small lamp on so Dick wouldn't forget where he was when he woke up. There's no windows in HQ and I could only imagine how Robin would react if he woke up in an (to him) unknown room in total cave darkness.

I checked on Dick one more time before leaving him to sleep. Despite the situation I felt a strange pride in my chest, like I'd just aced a Science test or—_dare I dream?_—an English test. It was weird, I couldn't seem to cope with my own problems, but talking to Superboy and then Robin to help them with theirs gave me a purpose, a focus.

I felt like I wasn't such a screw up when I made my friends feel better, and when I felt useful the cruel voices in my head would stop. They were quiet now, in fact, and I tiptoed to my room and went to bed with the hope that my subconscious wouldn't have any new material for nightmares tonight.

I was wrong. Even though I went to bed without berating myself as I fell asleep I still dreamt. My mind showed me an image of my Robin with track marks up and down his arm, just like my dad, sobbing that I failed to help him and Batman was screaming at me, just like mom. Then it shifted to Dad, going into withdrawal and dying in a jail cell as I pounded on the bars trying to get to him, screaming for guards and medics that didn't seem to hear me.

Then came the cruelest. I dreamt that I woke up in my bed at my house, and my mom was downstairs making waffles and Dad was talking to her and smiling. My Uncle Barry was waiting in the living room and told me I'd bumped my head on patrol and the last week of my life had been a dream and everyone was fine, and there was no such thing as Crack Venom.

I woke up smiling, tears of joy in my eyes, but reality hit and I bit my hand so I wouldn't start sobbing. I slipped out of bed and to the bathroom so I could splash some cold water on my face.

"Hold it together, West," I told my reflection in the mirror. The clock on the sink counter said it was a bit after nine in the morning. People would be up and about, I couldn't let them see me like this.

I had to hold it together, I had to be okay, for my team, because if I could look like I was okay they would confide in me and I could help my friends better than I could help my family and I wanted to help because it made me useful. I wanted so desperately to be useful.

_It's a futile effort, _said the voices.

It's not.

_"You ruined his life! He could be killed!" _I could almost hear Mom screaming.

_No, no, no, I was right to get him help because Batman said…Batman said…_

"_The doctors in one of the Gotham treatment centers say that they lost around three hundred patients out of one thousand."_

I grimaced. _You got him help though, you went to Gotham and…_

"…_you ran off to Gotham, eavesdropped on me and Batman and kicked me, yet here you are again making life difficult for everyone around you," _Uncle Barry yelled in my head.

_I'm sorry, I don't mean to, I'm sorry…_

"_Look, I'm sorry that things aren't working out for you right now, but you need to grow up!"_ he had yelled.

_I'm trying, I'm trying, I really am._

_It's not good enough, _a voice hissed to me.

I shuddered. I had to get out of here I had to not be alone, my thoughts were cruel when I was alone.

I left the bathroom and went to the main room. I didn't run into anyone along the way except Robin, who was on his way to the bathroom. He didn't say anything to me (which was fine as I wasn't in the mood to talk) and his body language indicated that he was uncomfortable with my being in the hall with him.

_Guess he did remember last night. Poor guy._

I hurried out of his sight and made my way to the kitchen.

No one was there so I started breakfast with a somewhat manic energy. Artemis and M'gann came in midway through my vengeful battle against the pancakes.

"Those look good," said M'gann shyly sounding more cheerful than she had in a while.

"Help yourself," I said kindly

"I dunno if you should M'gann, they might be poisonous," quirked Artemis.

"You're right, food made by someone this hot might just stop your heart," I said, faking my usual macho (_stupid_) humor."

"In your dreams, Baywatch," said Artemis, snatching a pancake.

I just continued to make pancakes, sneaking one here and there.

_I've been cooking a lot lately. Cooking's good though, great in fact, keeps me busy. Keeps me useful._

"What time is it?" asked M'gann.

"Like, ten," I said, glancing at the clock.

"Canary will be here in about half an hour then," she mused.

"What?" I asked.

"Yeah, she wanted to do our sessions earlier in the day this time," said Artemis irritably.

I finished cooking without saying anyone else and wolfed down a plate of food before cleaning up, leaving the leftover pancakes on the counter for everyone else I made a beeline for my room.

I picked up my bag and the cave laptop, taking both of them with me I retreated to an empty storage room. It wasn't even so much as a room, more like a glorified closet, but it was far away from anywhere anyone would think to look for me at least.

I settled down on the floor, my back against the wall. I didn't have a lot to do with me and was limited what I could do the entertain myself.

I ended up picking up my cell phone and scrolling through contacts, looking for a distraction.

_Who to call?_ It was then that I realized I didn't hang out with a whole lot of people. My list of contacts was short, and half of them were superheroes.

I groaned and looked at my school friends. The only ones I really talked to were Seemore and Jinx…

_But I was a jerk to them…_

_All the more reason to call, Seemore was mad that you don't confide in him. Call him; tell him you're grounded._

I hesitated, but hit the call button before I could second-guess myself.

He picked up after the sixth ring.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Seemore, it's Wally," I said.

There was a pause on the other line.

"Umm…you don't usually call dude, did something happen?" he asked tentatively.

"No, man, I just feel like a jerk for freaking out on you and Jinx the other day and I wanted to apologize," I said awkwardly, now wondering why I'd chosen _this_ as my distraction while I was hiding from Black Canary.

"Oh…well why did you freak out?" asked Seemore, sounding a little frosty, but willing to forgive provided I explain myself

I sighed, wincing as the hurtful words Muroski had spat at me came back.

"_It's no wonder he started doing drugs! With a son like you who wouldn't want to escape?"_

"You'd hit the nail on the head when you asked if Muroski said something," I admitted.

"What did he say?" asked Seemore, dropping the attitude as concern came into his voice.

"Well, I basically said I'd start spreading rumors around about him if he didn't leave me alone, and it worked…sort of…he got really mad and said…" I couldn't say it, it wasn't just one of Muroski's stupid comments, it was a legitimate fear and saying it…I didn't like that.

"What?"

"It was nothing, he just said…about my Dad…that it was—was my fault," I said, trying to keep my voice under control.

"He said that?! What a—do you need me to get Jinx to beat him up?"

"No," I mumbled, almost smiling at the prospect of Jinx attacking Muroski. The girl was practically a force of nature when she was mad, you needed a miracle to stop her when she was on a rampage (honestly, I'm surprised she hasn't been suspended yet.)

"You sure man? That crap is low, and it's bull, you know it's bull right?" he asked.

"Of course," I lied, not at all persuaded.

"Good," said Seemore.

I bit my lip, looking for a change of subject.

"So…did you go to that movie with Jinx?"

If there was a statement needed to break the ice, it was that. Seemore talked about the movie, what Jinx thought of it, Gizmo, how good Jinx was with kids, and of course how Jinx was doing. The conversation lasted about an hour when I finally asked.

"Oh, how did she take me…storming out anyway?" I asked.

"She was mad," said Seemore bluntly.

"Crap," I muttered.

"Yeah, you better call her, man. "

I looked at my phone and realized the battery was dying.

"My battery is dying and I don't have my charger with me," I said, remembering that I'd plugged it in at my uncle's place.

"Where are you?" Seemore asked.

"I'm…avoiding my uncle. We had a fight, so I'm hiding out at the park," I lied.

"Does he at least know where you've gone? I don't want phone calls from the police because someone thinks you've run away or something," he asked, being reasonable as usual.

"Yea, I told him I was going for a walk and he has my cell number. But could you do me a favor?" I asked as an idea hit me.

"Yeah, sure," said Seemore.

"Could you call her for me and apologize? I'd call her after I get home but I kinda yelled at my aunt before I stormed out so I'm probably gonna be grounded."

I didn't know how long I would be at the cave, so I just put a different spin on the whole fight I'd had with my aunt and uncle so I could have a plausible excuse for not calling Jinx.

"Yikes, seriously?" asked Seemore.

"Yea."

"Your uncle would ground you? Even though you have all this…stuff going on?" he sounded a bit indignant.

"I was a big jerk," I said, hating to relive the shouting match that I'd had with my aunt. I'd never talked to her like that in my life…

"Well, okay, I guess I can apologize for you, but you better find her quick on Monday, you know she hates it when people use others to speak for them," he said.

"I will," I promised.

"Okay then, I'll let you go, I need to call Jinx before it gets too late," said Seemore. (I refrained from pointing out that it was barely noon.) He sounded eager and I smirked as I said good-bye and hung up. I owed Seemore for being such a saint when I was so moody, hopefully an excuse to call Jinx would make up for some of the crap I've given him.

My stomach was whining after hung up the phone. I should have brought food into my hiding spot. I was weighing the pros and cons of sneaking to the kitchen to grab something when the door opened and I about had a heart attack.

Conner stood in the doorway, tall and broad as always, with the default blank look he tended to wear.

"Geeze, Supes!" I yelped.

"What are you doing in here? I had to use my super senses to find you," he said.

"Uh…"

"Weren't you the one who told me it wasn't normal to hang out in closets?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.

Superboy, having grown up in a Cadmus pod, had a tendency to sleep in closets when he first left the lab. After some guidance from the team he'd broken the habit though…I think…

"This isn't a closet!" I said defensively, even though it really kinda _was_.

"Right," said Superboy sarcastically. "So why are you here?"

"Oh, you know…just doing some homework."

"You don't have any books out," he pointed out.

"Fine, I was procrastinating," I said.

"On the homework or the session with Canary?" asked Superboy slyly.

"What?" I asked.

"I may not be the great detective on this team, but the fact that you happen to be hiding in a closet—"

"Not a closet!" I protested.

"—during the time she's giving sessions…well it's not hard to connect the dots," he said giving me a look that suggested I fess up. I didn't, of course. I just rolled my eyes.

"She told me to come and get you when our session ended," he said, cutting to the chase since I had refused to explain myself.

"I told her, I'm not going, you can send M'gann to her or someone else," I said, annoyed.

Conner gave me a look.

I scowled.

I really didn't want to take things out on Conner, but the fact the he was obviously on Canary's side now irked me.

"Look, I'm not going."

Superboy continued to stare at me expectantly, as if it were only a matter of time before I gave in.

My scowl grew more ferocious.

Conner scowled back, looking affronted.

"I'm. Not. Going." I growled.

I continued glaring at him with venom and he folded his arms, unimpressed.

There was a nonverbal debate going on and our arguments had no words, just stubbornness and irritation.

I turned up my nose at him defiantly but he had the higher ground, since he was standing and I was sitting, and just glared at me patronizingly.

Taking offense, I turned my gaze to the wall, and Supey just stood there, never taking his eyes off me.

I lasted about three minutes before I cracked.

"Fine!" I said in exasperation, throwing my hands in the air. I stood up.

"Don't know why you're on _her _side though, I never pegged you as a suck up," I sneered, irritably.

"You were the one that told me that we should at least _show up_ to the sessions, even if we didn't plan on cooperating," he reminded me.

I just gritted my teeth and walked faster.

Superboy grabbed my arm and I nearly punched him.

"Look, I don't know why you're being like this, but if you tell me about it maybe I can help," he said. "You said once it helps to talk about things."

I sighed and looked at the guy who, despite the grumpiness, was really trying to help. He didn't have a whole lot of experience with dealing with people and he was really doing his best.

I knew all this, but I couldn't find it in myself to _explain_ everything to him.

"Give Canary a chance," he suggested when it became clear that I wouldn't speak. "She's not as…unhelpful as I figured she'd be, and if _I_ can sit through a session of therapy, so can you. You're nicer than me."

"Fine," I grumbled as we made it to the therapy room.

I gave Superboy a sarcastic wave before entering the room with a glare fixed on my face.

"I told you not to bother calling me back here," I said the second I saw Canary, who was sitting in one of the chairs.

"You told me a lot of things, none of which you gave me a chance to reply to," she said.

I rolled my eyes. "Fine, tell me I'm wrong, tell me how disrespectful I am," I said angrily.

Canary looked at me. "You were angry, because you thought I said your mother was abandoning you," she said calmly.

"You did say that you—"

"No, I didn't," she cut me off. "I said: _"between your father turning to drugs and your mother abandoning—" _and then you interrupted me and started yelling at me under the assumption that I was going to finish that sentence with _you_, but I wasn't going to say that. I was going to say she was abandoning your _house_ because of her financial situation."

I blinked in shock and a deep embarrassment suddenly started to well up in me. All of the sudden I wanted to leave the room for an entirely different reason.

"But…but you said I must feel betrayed…" I protested, confused.

"Flash told me about your situation, apparently the only person you've been confiding in is Batman, and he recently told the Flash everything he knew about what you're going through. I heard you were upset by that."

"Oh…" I said, feeling really small and _really _worthless.

_You fool. You yelled at Canary for no reason at all. Don't you look like an idiot? She's going to tell your uncle how pathetic you are. You just flew right off the handle like you did with Jinx and Seemore. Keep this up and no one will like you. Not that many people like you anyway. _The mean voice in my head said gleefully.

"And I'm sorry, I hurt your feelings when I said you were a bad influence on Roy back then, but it wasn't anything that you did," she sighed before continuing her explanation.

"I knew that Roy had instigated that conversation about how "hot" I supposedly am, and he only did things like that when he was around other heroes. I noticed that he tended to show off and be more disrespectful towards me and Ollie when he hung out with the other sidekicks, whether it be you, Robin, or Aqualad, he wanted to be the "coolest" young hero." She rolled her eyes and I just stared at my shoes as she spoke from her chair.

"He thought that since he was the oldest that he should be the best. Robin and Aqualad put him in his place enough to keep him in check, but you looked up to him, which fed his ego and made him hard to live with whenever he was around you.

Also, during the time in your life you said I looked at you like you were 'just a fan boy who didn't know what he was doing' but honestly I was really just worried that you weren't taking the job seriously enough.

You were so excited about your powers that I didn't think you understood how dangerous our way of life is. I also knew Roy's cockiness was making it worse, another reason I suggested to Ollie that you two stop hanging out so much.

Roy grew out of that phase though, and by then I'd come to realize that just because you joked about something didn't mean you were ignorant about it or that you didn't know what you were doing. I came to respect you but by that time you had this unexplainable grudge against me.

I knew it was a grudge because, as you said yesterday, I've always been popular with guys so I know when a guy is attracted to me and when he's just flirting with me to be condescending. I rarely complimented you because I figured that you were like Roy, I thought that your behavior would only get worse if I was nice to you about it."

I waited for her to finish talking, or for my speedster phasing to spontaneously develop so I could sink into the floor, whichever came first.

_I can't believe how badly you managed to screw up…_again. _You're just incompetent._

"You were right about one thing though," she said gently, apparently noticing how guilty and humiliated I looked.

"I did come from a loving and protective family and I didn't go through what you and Conner are going through. However that doesn't mean I won't understand you because of that. I've seen a lot, Wally, this job changes your perspective, and you know that.

You're wrong when you say I don't comprehend what's going on with Conner or what's going on with you. I _do _understand and I care. I care about everyone on the team, that's why I called you in here to talk to you. It's not because I want to make you miserable or because Batman told me to do it, it's because I can't stand the idea of any of you feeling like you don't have anyone to talk to."

I didn't say a word and Canary looked at me in concern.

"Wally?" she asked.

I opened my mouth, but I had nothing to say. Blushing in shame I backed away until I hit the door and slipped hurriedly out of the room.

"Wally!" she called.

I walked quickly down the hall, I was about to kick into super speed and leave but I paused.

_Coward. After all you did wrong, you're just going to run away? Weakling!_

I winced as my cruel inner self spoke up again.

_I shouldn't run away…that's childish. I…I need to apologize. _I was mortified by the situation and wondered how I was going to gather the courage to go back into the room where Canary was, but I was spared when I heard someone enter the hallway. The footsteps paused when the person saw me frozen in the middle of the hall before approaching me slowly.

Canary didn't ask questions, she just wrapped her arm around my shoulder and lead me back to the room I'd just run from.

She took me over to the chairs and tried to get me to sit down but I just shook my head and stepped away. She just stood in front of me and waited.

"I—" I mumbled as I looked at the ground. "I—I'm so sorry, I just. I'm so stupid and I just, I just…" I was so frazzled and I felt like I might cry, which of course would just make things worse. My voice was no longer working and I was mouthing silently.

Canary stepped forward and hugged me, not saying a word.

"I'm sorry," I mumbled into her shoulder. "I'm sorry, I'm really sorry, I'm so horrible, I can't even…I'm such a jerk…"

Canary quieted me softly. "You were angry. You were trying so hard to be strong and not show anyone that you were feeling so bad and there I was bringing up everything you were trying to avoid. I know, I'm sorry," she said rubbing my back.

"I—shouldn't have…I was…I just couldn't…" I was stuttering, my thoughts too much of a mess to form rational sentences. I closed my eyes to prevent tears.

"It hurts," I whispered. I didn't mean to say it, but it was so true, everything hurt so bad and I just couldn't _take _it any more because no matter how hard I tried to run from it, it always followed me.

"Talk to me about it," said Canary and I didn't resist as she guided me into a chair and knelt down in front of me.

"I, I _can't_," I said, looking to the side because I couldn't look her in the eyes.

"Why?" she asked.

"Because, I just…I don't…" I trailed off.

"You don't trust me," she said. There was no sadness to her voice, no accusations, but I couldn't help but get a bit defensive.

"I do! With my life, but not…just not…"

"Not with this," she finished. "That's fine," she said, "but if you don't trust me with this who _do_ you trust? Your uncle said you won't talk to him or Iris. You haven't been really talking with your parents and you refuse to speak to the school counselors," she said. "Even your discussions with Batman have been limited."

I bit my lip. "Well, I talk to my friends at school…a _little_," I said.

"What about your friends here?"

"They've got enough to worry about," I said.

"So you haven't told them? Not even Robin?" she asked.

"How could I? After the simulation, how could I?" I asked.

"Well, why not talk to Roy then?" asked Canary gently, "he didn't go through the simulation."

"Roy?" I asked in confusion. "No, no he's busy. He's got enough to think about, being solo and all," I replied. "Besides, I haven't talked to him much since he left. I think he's still mad at us for not walking out with him during the Hall of Justice incident. He calls our team a 'club'," I said resentfully.

"That doesn't mean he isn't your friend," she said.

I gave her a doubtful look. Roy had basically told me he didn't have time for me or the team the last time I called him to talk.

Canary sighed.

"Look, I went to Roy's Wednesday to check on him, since Ollie hasn't heard from him in a while. He asked how everyone was and, well, I told him about the simulation. I figured he'd want to know. He was furious that it happened and he felt bad for not being there for you guys.

He didn't visit because, like you said, he's been distant. He didn't think he'd be welcome and didn't want to annoy you guys, but he said that if you or Kaldur or Robin needed to talk, he'd be there. He's really worried."

"Really?" I asked.

"Yes," said Canary, "he meant it too, and I think he really misses you. You should talk to him, about everything. You know he'd understand and that he won't judge you. He wont tell anyone if you ask him not to and he'd be on your side in all this."

"I just…I wouldn't know where to start," I said, stalling.

"You could start by going to his apartment," said Dinah.

"No, I can't do that, he's probably busy," I said, starting to close myself. I really didn't want to talk about it because if I did I would get emotional and I really, _really,_ didn't want to break down again.

"He cleared his weekend just in case you guys needed anything," she replied.

"Seriously?" I asked, raising an eyebrow. Roy was a good guy, but _wow_.

"Like I said, I think that he misses you, and he's willing to listen. You should go."

"My uncle grounded me, he said I can't go anywhere without his permission," I mumbled, still stalling.

"I'll take care of that. I hate to say this, Wally, but I really think you need to get out of the cave. I think this will help you," she encouraged.

I frowned. _Well it would be nice to escape the massive depressive vibe circulating around this place. And maybe I don't have to tell Roy everything… _

"Promise you'll talk to my uncle?" I asked.

"I promise," she said.

"O-Okay, I _guess_ it wouldn't hurt," I mumbled.

"Good," said Canary encouragingly. "Why don't you go grab your stuff?"

I waited outside the zeta beam for ten minutes before Roy came in his car to pick me up.

"So, what's been going on?" asked Roy after I got in. He gave me a look that indicated that he was sincerely interested which was unusual for him. Normally he never turned off the grump.

"Nothing much," I said with a nervous shrug. "You?"

"Same," he said carefully.

When I didn't reply Roy spoke up again.

"So how's the team?"

"Good, all things considered…well, Robin's not doing too well. He was really shaken up by the simulation."

Roy growled.

"I can't believe Batman put him through that, after all the crap that kid already sees…"

"Yeah, well he felt really bad. He even apologized," I said.

"_Batman_ apologized?" asked Roy.

"I think he was more Bruce in that moment," I admitted.

"_Still_ though…So wait he just apologized to the whole team? Just like that?"

"Um, no…he apologized to me after I chewed him out."

Roy took his eyes off the road for a second to gawp at me.

"_You_ chewed Batman out?"

"As if you wouldn't have done the same in my shoes," I scoffed.

"Well, _duh_, but it's not like something _you_ would do," he said.

I rolled my eyes and didn't bother replying.

"So how are you handling things with the simulation?"

"I'm doing great," I said flatly.

I knew by the look Roy gave me that he didn't believe me.

I didn't break the silence that came after that statement and Roy didn't make me speak either. He let me ride in silence to his place, though I'm not entirely sure it was a good thing. I could feel the questions on his mind. He kept looking at me, silently asking. _"What's wrong?" _but I would turn to look out the window when he did that. I don't know why I agreed to this, I really wasn't in the mood to talk about it, especially since I knew how upset it would make me. I really didn't want to lose control of my emotions in front of Roy.

Getting out of the confined space of the car had been a relief and I follow Roy inside his building, glad to be moving as it had been all I could do _not_ to fidget the whole way to the apartment.

I was slightly behind Roy as we walked so he'd already unlocked the door and entered before I caught up with him.

"Grab a seat," Roy called to me as he walked further into his humble abode.

I closed the door behind me and went to flop onto the couch.

"Want a sandwich?" he called and I heard him open his fridge.

"No thanks," I said thoughtlessly, my stomach was tossing in nervousness enough as it was without adding _food_ to it.

I heard the fridge slam shut suddenly and with force.

I jumped at the sound as Roy stormed into the room.

_Well, I guess grumpy Roy is back. _I thought, realizing my mistake.

"Right, if you are turning down food then we're done beating around the bush. Seriously, what's _wrong_?" He demanded.

I looked at him diffidently, _still_ not sure where to start, even when given a blatant opening.

Roy rolled his eyes.

"This is the part where you start jabbering off everything on your mind with absolutely no filter," he said dryly. "Geeze, what did they _do _to you in that simulation?"

"Nothing," I said, my eyes on the floor.

Roy glared at me.

"Well, I mean Robin was really upset, I told you that, and M'gann was devastated…but I'm fine," I told him.

"Of course, that's why you're so obviously _miserable_, come on. Why would Dinah call me if you were _fine_?"

"Because she's annoying," I snapped and Roy's eyes widened.

I instantly felt bad.

"Sorry, I didn't mean that," I said quickly.

"Yes, you did," said Roy bluntly.

I got flustered after that, Roy was a tad protective of Dinah. "She's just…I just had a couple really crappy days with her. I flipped out on her the first session and she spent the second session putting me back in my place, not in a mean way but still…Anyway, after that she insisted I come talk to you."

"Dinah mentioned that when she called, said you might be reluctant to speak with me, which is really dumb," he said.

I gave him a look.

"It is! _Nothing_ gets _you_ as upset as you are right now and you won't say a word about it. That's completely idiotic too because _you're_ the one that's always telling me that I can came to you if I have a problem, that I should talk things through more."

"Which you never do," I pointed out.

"Hey, I'm not the one giving out that advice, am I?"

"Well maybe I'm a hypocrite."

"We both know that you _are_, but that's not the point."

"Do you even have a point?" I asked insolently.

"Shut up!" he said moving to whack my arm. I dodged instantly, going into defense mode and waiting for him to attack again, but more violently.

He frowned and I cursed myself for the reflex. "Right…well, _that_ doesn't send off any warning bells or anything. Seriously, why so tense? I know you haven't been on missions and you don't seem to be affected by the simulation, so what is it?"

"It's nothing," I muttered.

"If you don't tell me I'll get Robin to tell me."

My eyes went wide.

"He doesn't know, does he?" asked Roy.

"Say _anything _to him and I will _kill _you," I said.

"Maybe I should, whatever it is it sounds like something he should know."

"Roy, seriously, don't bring him into this. He's freaked enough without worrying about me."

"Worrying about you? Okay, Wally…" he sighed. "What. Happened."

"It's nothi—"

"Cut the crap and tell me!" He snapped raising his voice.

"My Dad's in Rehab, okay?!" I barked.

There was silence.

…_I guess Roy was right about me babbling without a filter._

"Oh," said Roy and he sat down on the couch, clearly surprised but also trying not to make a big deal out of it.

"Uh…Alcohol?" he asked, trying to sound like it didn't matter, but we both knew that it did.

"Crack Venom," I said and I couldn't make my voice go any louder than a whisper as I said it.

The words echoed through the silence eerily, like a curse.

"You're joking," said Roy so stunned that he wasn't thinking about tact.

I had to hand it to him; I don't think anyone has ticked me off so much by simply uttering two words before.

"Yes, Roy, I'm freaking _joking_ because pretending your Dad's on…on…is so rib cracking hilarious!" I hissed, unable to say the name of the drug for fear of getting too emotional.

"Sorry, I was just—that's some serious stuff, Walls," said Roy.

"Really? I had no idea," I said, my sarcasm practically solidifying so it could better stab at the idiotic red head next to me.

Roy chose to shut up after that. A wise move in my opinion, as anything else he could have said probably would have resulted in me either leaving or throwing the nearest object at him.

The silence pierced and Roy got up and went back into the kitchen.

He came back five minutes later and placed a sandwich in front of me before sitting down with his own.

"I'm not—"

"Just eat it," said Roy, refusing to let me claim that I wasn't hungry as we both knew that I always was (well, except for lately).

I bit into the sandwich reluctantly.

After a few more bites Roy spoke up.

"Let's try this again—"

"Let's not and say we did," I said with a glare.

"I'll call Dinah."

"I'll kick your butt," I threatened.

"As if you could," scoffed Roy, his pride coming to the forefront as always.

"Wanna find out?" I asked edgily

"What is _with_ you?!" demanded Roy, slamming his plate down on the coffee table. It cracked and Roy cursed.

"Now look what you made me do! Why do you have to be so difficult?!"

"…_you ran off to Gotham, eavesdropped on me and Batman and kicked me, yet here you are again making life difficult for everyone around you," _Uncle Barry yelled in my head once again.

It was like I was back having that conversation with Canary. One minute I was furious, the next I was embarrassed and depressed.

I looked at the floor, waiting for Roy to stop being mad as I tried not to look as pathetic as I felt.

I heard Roy sigh next to me.

"I'm not helping at all, am I?" he asked dryly.

"Not one bit," I replied.

"I'm sorry."

"Ditto."

It was quiet again.

"How long has he been in rehab?"

"Less than a week," I said, glad that Roy hadn't asked _how_ it had happened or _why_.

"And how bad was it when he was admitted?"

"Bad."

"Did he admit himself, or…?"

"I arranged with Batman to have him caught trying to buy it. The police put him in rehab."

"You arranged it with _Batman_?"

"He's got more connections than anyone else I know," I said with a shrug.

"So how long did _you_ know before you arranged the arrest?"

"Less than a week," I said.

Roy swore quietly.

"Who else knows?"

"Batman, Canary, Uncle Barry, Aunt Iris…over half of the people at my school…"

"What?" asked Roy, his eyebrows raising.

"Rumor mill…someone found out and…spread it around."

Roy swore again and stood up to pace.

"And you said Robin doesn't know?"

"I can't tell him right now! He's been a wreck since the exercise," I said.

"He'd want to know," said Roy, "he'll get really mad when he finds out you haven't told him."

"Well this isn't about _Rob_ is it?" I snapped, standing up.

Roy looked at me startled.

"Well it _isn't, _I insisted. It's not about Rob, or my uncle, or _you_ or anyone else. This is between me and my parents and I don't see why everyone sees the need to stick their noses where they don't belong," I said furiously.

"You really think that?" asked Roy quietly and I got the feeling that it was a loaded question and I had _just _enough common sense at that moment not to say yes or no.

"I don't know _what_ I think, really I'd rather not think about it at all," I said in frustration.

"Look, that tactic doesn't seem to be doing much for you."

"Well every other "tactic" is worse," I said, pacing restlessly.

Roy rolled his eyes and suddenly pulled out his wallet, digging out a twenty.

"Here," he said shoving it at me. "Do me a favor and go pick up some Chinese. There's a restaurant about four blocks away past that McDonalds we saw on the way here."

I blinked at the sudden shift in conversation, confused.

"It's obvious you need some time to yourself, so just _go_ I'll see you in a bit," he said.

I looked down at the money and then up at Roy.

"Oh…okay…thanks," I said disarmed by his sudden change in approach.

I left and went out into the cool air. I took a deep breath and walked slowly down the street. Being away from the Roy made me tired. Our argument had charged me up but I crashed as soon as I was away from him, exhaustion creeping up on me. I really was tired, emotionally. One minute I was depressed, then angry, then pretending everything's fine and being almost-happy.

I wasn't used to the sudden shifts in mood and they were starting to wear me down. What could I do though? It's not like I can change how I feel. Still, I couldn't shake the thought that it wasn't normal for me to shift between moods so quickly.

_Maybe there's something wrong with you._

I shoved the voice away and I stormed through the less-than-familiar city, glaring at the pavement of the cracked sidewalk. People avoided me as I passed, possibly because I looked ready to punch someone in the face…I frowned as the image of Dad punching Mom flashed through my mind.

I sped up, trying not to think about it.

By the time I'd gotten the food and taken it back to Roy's I'd walked out enough of my restlessness to be less combative and Roy took advantage of this as we opened cartons of food and started to eat.

"Look, I know you don't want to, but can you at least try to answer a few questions?" he asked.

"Fine," I muttered through a mouthful of noodles, my hands holding the carton in one hand and the chopsticks in the other like a pro despite my _still_ casted arm. Seriously, when will it heal?!

"Why did you wait to turn him in? We both know you could have done it within a day of you finding out," he said hitting one of the touchiest subjects possible.

"Well, I didn't know why he was acting the way he was at first and mom didn't tell me, she just begged me not to tell anyone. But he kept…"I trailed off "…And I was afraid to leave her alone…So I ran a test on his blood and found out, Mom made it seem like we could help him out and rehabilitate him at home and I trusted her on that for a couple days, because she'd my _mom_," I said defensively.

"What do you mean you was afraid to leave your mom alone?" he asked picking out the _one_ phrase in that little speech that I hadn't meant to say.

"It's nothing," I muttered.

"I hear…people on Crack Venom sometimes get violent…was he…hitting her, or something?" he asked.

I looked at the floor.

"I tried to stop him…he wasn't himself," I said, trying to defend my dad.

"Did he hit you too?" asked Roy quietly looking worried.

"No—" I said instinctively. "Well, wait, yes," I said as I remembered the attacks he'd launched on me, "but that doesn't count," I said impatiently, still so focused on defending my dad that I wasn't paying attention to what I was saying or how it sounded.

"What do you mean _it doesn't count_?" asked Roy indignantly.

"I mean, it doesn't matter, it's not like I was hurt, and anyway I have super speed, it's my own fault for not dodging," I said trying to brush it off as I shifted nervously on the couch.

"Let me get this straight, he hit you and it's somehow _your_ fault?" asked Roy, setting down his food and looking me in the eye.

"I didn't mean it like that," I muttered, putting more food into my mouth, wishing he would just forget I'd said anything.

"Then how did you mean it?" asked Roy.

"I don't know," I said. "I mean; it's not like I haven't had worse…"

"What?!"

"Chill, Roy, I was talking about super villains!" I whined in dismay, wishing my tongue would untie itself so I could convey what I was trying to say.

"You shouldn't have to use super villains as a comparison when talking about your dad," Roy growled.

"I'm just saying it wasn't a big deal for me, it hurt mom more because she's not used to taking a hit," I said putting down my food and folding my arms across my chest.

"I still don't see how that equates to it 'not counting' when he hit you, how many times did he do it?" he demanded.

"Just like, once! I dodged all the other times he tried!"

"And how many _other times_ were there?" he asked in disbelief.

"You're blowing this out of proportion! Besides, it's not like I didn't hit him back!" I said.

"You did?" asked Roy.

"Yea…one of the times he hit mom…I knocked him out," I muttered, feeling ashamed of myself in retrospect.

"And when he went after you?"

"I just _dodged_, Roy," I said tiredly. "Okay? I dodged and he just ran into stuff because I'd move whenever he tried to charge me down."

"He _charged_ at you?"

"He was sick, Roy," I snapped trying not to think about how I sounded just like my mother. "He was sick and he couldn't help it, and now he's in rehab an he's glad to be there because he doesn't want to hurt us, alright? Can we please just drop it now?" I demanded.

"Fine," said Roy with a sigh. "So he goes to rehab, then what? How did your mom take it?"

I gritted my teeth.

"She…she was mad. She figured out it was me, so she sent me to stay with my uncle…" I took a breath and admitted something I hadn't told anyone else. "She doesn't want me back," I said, picking up my food so I would have an excuse not to look at Roy.

"What makes you say that?" he asked quietly and I was surprised and relieved that he didn't do what my aunt did and just assume I was being overdramatic.

"She…well, we can't afford the house or the second car without dad, so we have to sell them…I saw she'd circled some of the apartments she was looking at and they were all one bedroom," I said poking at my food with my chopsticks as I frowned at the food carton.

"Maybe she'll change her mind?" said Roy, obviously unsure of what to say.

"No, I don't really think she can afford to keep me, even if she _did_ want me around, so now my aunt and uncle are _stuck_ with me," I said bitterly.

"What do you mean _stuck _with you?" asked Roy.

"I'm not their kid, Roy," I said impatiently, slamming down my food and glaring at him. "And as far as I know they don't even _want_ kids. I mean, they put up with me a lot but it's not like they want me living with them," I said in irritation. "I mean, my uncle didn't even want me as a side kick and it took him forever to actually, you know, _want_ to be my mentor. And after I pretty much _forced_ him into that role my mom's making him take care of me for who knows _how_ long."

"Woah, woah, back up!" said Roy, using his hands to make a time out sign. "Flash didn't want to be your mentor because he was worried that he'd put you in danger. And what's this crap about 'putting up' with you? Your uncle adores you! He brags about you so much it's sickening! They _like_ having you around," he said gesticulating to emphasize his point.

"Maybe sometimes but it's not like they actually _want _me," I retorted.

"Wally," asked Roy baffled. "Who _wouldn't_ want you?"

I gaped at him; surprised he could ask such a stupid question.

"Well, let's see," I said with a sarcastic laugh, "maybe my _mom _who's refused to talk to me since Dad's arrest. Or maybe even Dad. I mean, he clearly had _some_ reason to start doing drugs," I said, my voice croaking. "And let's see…there's my uncle, who says I'm making everyone's lives difficult, and my aunt, who is under the impression that me staying in her house is _temporary._"

I growled irritably. "Things would be so much easier if I could live by myself, then I wouldn't have to worry about being in the way."

"You're not thinking straight Wally, I think you need to talk to your uncle and aunt because there's no way that they don't want you," said Roy, talking with his hands again as he tried to get his point across.

"Same with your mom, did you ever think maybe she's just embarrassed that she can't take care of you right now? I've seen you with her, she loves you so much, I really don't think she's trying to just…_abandon _you. As for your Dad, you_ cannot_ blame yourself. I don't know why he did what he did but it _wasn't _your fault," he insisted.

"You're just speculating, you don't know _anything_," I snarled, pulling my knees to my chest and looking away.

"I think that you're the one who's speculating."

I snorted with bitter humor. "It's not speculating when I know that what I'm saying is true."

"What's true? I mean have they been actually been saying the stuff you're thinking? You can't tell me your uncle really told you that you were making everyone's lives difficult," said Roy, rolling his eyes.

"He _did_ say that," I said tiredly. "He said I'm acting horribly to everyone and making life difficult," I said, tearing up for the first time during the conversation.

I refrained from blinking, willing the moisture to go away and not slip down my cheeks.

It was quiet and Roy looked at me, his brow furrowed.

"Well, if staying with your aunt and uncle bothers you so much why not talk to your mom? Maybe you can come up with a solution," he said, more gently.

"No! I can't just do that; I'll just upset her. I can't stay at the cave either because there's no way my uncle would let me_ and_ I'd probably just get on everyone else's nerves there. I'll just try and stay out of the way," I grumbled in defeat.

"Why are you talking about yourself like you don't _matter_," asked Roy, upset. "Why do you seem to think you're just _in the way_? Wally, no one thinks that about you. I don't know what's gotten into you, you've always believed in yourself, why has that changed?"

"Because maybe I'm not worth believing in," I said angrily.

"You need to stop this!" snapped Roy. "You need to stop feeling sorry for yourself and start acting like _you. _The Wally I know wouldn't talk about himself like that!"

"The Wally you knew was a spoiled kid with a happy family and a level of ignorance so high that he didn't even realize his own _dad _was on drugs." I said angrily. "The Wally you knew was so _egocentric_ that he didn't even notice that things were falling apart until it was too late to _fix_ them. Okay? So I have no intention of going back to the _Wally you knew,_" I said mockingly as I stared Roy down, "because the Wally you knew was an _idiot_."

Roy stood up and stormed away. I blanched as he pulled out his cell phone.

"Dinah? It's me," said Roy.

_He wouldn't…_ I thought, not wanting him to get her on my case.

"Wally's going to be staying with me for the next couple weeks, he can zeta to Star city after school."

I blinked in surprise as he went quiet, listening to whatever Dinah was saying on the other line.

"I don't care if he's grounded. He's staying _here_. He is not going back to Central."

"Just trust me on this, okay?"

"He can stop by after school tomorrow and pick up what he needs, but he's not going back there tonight."

"No, you can't send him over, in fact he needs to stay the—away from Wally because from what I hear he's just been making it worse."

"He told him he's been making everyone's life difficult," Roy growled

"That's what I said! But, no, he actually said that"

"Uh-huh."

"Do I have to?"

"Okay, okay, fine!" he snapped. "Just get in touch with Barry would you?"

"Great, talk to you later."

He hung up and I stared.

"Dinah says you can stay here on the condition that we go to Ollie's for dinner every night. Apparently he misses me or something like that," he said with a snort.

"B—But, are you sure you want me staying here? I mean…"

Roy walked over to the couch and knelt down in front of me.

"I'm having you stay here because I _want _you here," he said genuinely, looking me in the eye.

"No one asked me to do this and I'm not doing it because I feel I have to, I _want _you here because you're my friend and I really don't like the idea of sending you back to a place where you don't feel welcome. Okay? So please, just stay."

"Alright," I muttered, "but just for a little while…"

"Two weeks," said Roy firmly.

"Roy…"

"Two. Weeks."

"…Fine."

"Great," said Roy, standing up, now no more mushy stuff, finish your food while I check and see if there's anything _good_ on television for once.

**(1) For those of you who don't get **_**The Little Red Hen **_**reference, it's a fable about a chicken who is baking a complicated recipe. She keeps asking the other farm animals for help but they keep refusing so when it's finally done she refuses to share the food with them. **

**I figured that Dick would probably have read a lot when the circus was traveling and given the fact that his whole family worked for a living I imagine he had a lot of fables with work ethic kind of morals in them. Wally had a more normal childhood but I'm thinking since his parents would have tried to combat his reluctance to do chores with stories like those.**


	19. Chapter 19: Family

**Hey! I just wanted to take a quick moment to thank whoever signed in as "notime". Whoever this person was who reviewed chapter 17 that gave me the idea to have Wally's perceptions of what Canary said be a misinterpretation since I agreed with her statement on the characters being out of balance after Wally flamed her. I also wanted to give a shout out to Windschild8178 for giving me some advice on a few characters. Also, a huge thanks to everyone who PMed me and encouraged me to update.**

I scowled at the poems I needed to be familiar with for the exam. I had no _idea_ what they were talking about and I'd _definitely_ have to stay after school this week to get help from my teacher. Not. Cool.

I growled in irritation, tempted to just burn the book I was holding. Instead I settled for trying to google some kind of spark notes that would help me comprehend the wretched literature. I didn't realize how much time had passed until Roy walked through the door.

"Hey, Wally, how's it—Woah! Whatever it is I didn't do it!" sais Roy, noticing the irritated look on my face.

I groaned dramatically and let myself face plant into the book I'd been trying to read.

"It's not you, it's William Blake and Robert Burns."

"Who?" asked Roy in confusion.

"Some poets from way back when. I kind of get what they're trying to say _literally_ but there's all these analogies and references that just go right over my head. I mean seriously, why does _every _line have to be dissected? How do we know that the people who wrote these poems were even trying to be metaphorical? Maybe they just meant what they said!"

"Um…this is probably a horrible thing to say since I'm supposed to be older and more responsible—"

"Yeah, right," I snorted.

Roy glared at me before finishing his sentence. "—but why do you even care? Don't you usually just pass that class with the lowest grade you can get away with to still be on patrol?"

"Because I'm applying to this stupid school and my counselor told me today that I need to be 'more well rounded' if I want to get in. So basically I have to make them think that I actually _care_ about crap like English…or at least convince them that I'm smart enough to understand it."

I sighed.

This sort of stuff was really more Robin's thing. Batman raised him to analyze the crap out of every statement any person ever made, so translating a poem was kids' stuff for him.

"You're changing schools?" asked Roy in confusion.

"It's a long story," I mumbled.

"Well let me get changed and you can tell me on the way to Ollie's."

"Ollie's?"

"I promised we'd eat dinner at his and Dinah's place every night, remember?"

"Oh, right."

So that incited the lengthy explanation in the car on the way to Ollie's place. We were almost there by the time I finished.

"Well, it's not the _worst_ plan I've ever heard," said Roy as we weaved through rush hour traffic.

"But?" I asked

"Well, that's an awful lot of work Wally, between that and fighting crime…and did I hear you say something about getting a job?"

"It's nothing I can't handle," I said.

"Do you really think all that's necessary though? I mean, whatever you _think _you _know_ your family has your back. You don't need to rush through your education. Seriously, you're not even sixteen yet!"

"Since when does age have any effect on the things we do?" I said raising an eyebrow at him. "We've been fighting crime since we were _kids_."

"Point taken," said Roy.

It was quiet for a few minutes.

"You're really determined to do this then?"

"Definitely," I said stubbornly.

"Well, then you better get your mom on board because you can't do _any_ of this without her signature."

"She'll let me," I said confidently. "She can't say no to a plan that "enriches my education" or whatever it is parents are always raving about."

Roy shook his head; clearly thinking my plan was a little over the top but I didn't care.

"Just don't break your brain," he said before pulling up to the parking garage for Ollie's apartment building and punching in a code that verified that he was welcome there.

"By the way, did you pick up your stuff from your uncle's after school?" he asked as he looked for a parking spot.

"Yes."

"Were they home?"

"No, but once I charged my phone I saw, like, three missed calls from Uncle Barry."

"And did you call him back?"

"I knew he'd be at work, I'll talk to him later," I said evasively.

"Yes you will, I don't want him breaking my door down thinking you died or something," he said, finally finding a spot and pulling into it.

We got out of the car and went to the lobby to buzz Ollie's apartment (well technically it was a penthouse but actually _referring _to it as such seemed weird.) It sucked having to go through the security guards; they kept looking disapprovingly at my old cargo pants and faded t-shirt. Roy fit in just fine with the trendy clothes he'd taken with him when he left Ollie's place so all the attention fell on myself.

Roy glared condescendingly at them when he saw their treatment of me and they backed off, possibly recognizing him or maybe just realizing that they shouldn't mess with him.

We took the elevator up and Dinah greeted us at the door immediately hugging Roy and drawing him into conversation. It was clear that she was trying not to let the atmosphere get too tense and I wondered if Roy had spoken to Ollie at all since he quit as his partner. Things had already been rough between them, because, in a fit or rebellion, Roy had moved out the second he turned eighteen, which hurt Ollie's feelings a little. The 'visit to JLA HQ' was supposed to help fix things, but to say that failed horribly is an understatement…

Ollie was watching the news when we entered the room.

"_Tension in the Qurac government is mounting as new shipments of drugs make their way across the border, prompting public outcry for stricter government control. A recent shipment of Crack Venom—"_

I scowled and Dinah and Roy glanced at me.

_I just can't seem to get away from it can I?_ I thought to myself.

"Ollie, the boys are here!" said Dinah, trying to smooth over the bad moment.

Ollie looked up, smiled, and turned off the television.

"Roy! Wally!"

He pulled Roy into a hug, which the red head squirmed out of before he turned and ruffled my hair.

"Been a while since I've seen you kids. How's it going?"

"Super," said Roy sarcastically.

Dinah glared at him and he slouched a little, cowed by the mama bear look.

"Um…you?" he asked.

"Great! I'm so glad you came, Dinah made your favorite," he said.

We were led into the dining area where a delicious smell wafted from a crock part.

"Navajo tacos?" asked Roy.

"Um…your _other_ favorite," said Ollie.

"Burgers?"

"Close, it's steak!" said Ollie.

"…Ollie, that's _your_ favorite," said Roy in exasperation, rolling his eyes in displeasure.

"Oh…well, I knew it was _someone's_ favorite," he said, dodging a _look_ that Dinah was giving him and gamboling to the table.

Roy rolled his eyes again and made a face similar to a pout.

_What's he complaining about? It's steak! Though I suppose for a guy raised by a rich dude it's not that impressive…but still! It's steak! _I thought to myself.

"It smells awesome!" I said, trying to break the ice that set in after Roy's mini hissy-fit.

"I'm glad you think that, Wally, I made two for you," said Dinah sweetly.

"Awesome!" I said excitedly. I meant it too. The lack of drama that day made it easier for me to _eat_ without feeling sick.

"Why don't _I_ get two?" asked Ollie, sulking.

"Because you don't have a hyper-speed metabolism, now sit down so we can say prayer."

We did a quick blessing during which I wondered if Dad was well enough to eat on his own. By the time the prayer finished I decided that I really didn't want to know.

We all ate, Dinah heaped a ton of food on my plate the second she could. It didn't take a genius to figure out that the dinner arrangement was as much to make sure I didn't eat Roy out of house and home as to try and fix things between Roy and Ollie. Though judging by Roy's tendency to deflect most of Ollie's attempts at conversation, that endeavor would take a while.

"Pass the butter, Roy," said Ollie.

"It's closer to you than it is to me," said Roy sassily.

"_Roy_," said Dinah.

Roy irritably passed the butter.

"So, Roy, how's work?" asked Ollie cheerfully.

"Fine," groused Roy.

"Meet any new friends?"

"This isn't high school, Ollie," said Roy rolling his eyes.

"Doesn't mean you can't make friends. I met this lovely lady here at work," said Ollie, winking at Dinah."

"Yeah, _league_ work," said Roy.

Dinah and Ollie exchanged a look and both of them seemed to decide to ignore him for the time being.

"So, Wally, how's school?" asked Ollie.

"Great…" Wanting to throw poor Ollie a bone, I tried to think of something interesting that happened recently.

"It's been great, though a little hectic. My lab partner in Chem caused a violent chemical reaction the other day. The chemicals were pretty much harmless too, my teacher's still trying to figure out how it happened," I said.

"I'm surprised it happened at all, with _you_ in his group," said Dinah.

"She, and I was spacing out that day so she just wrought havoc."

"_She_, huh?" asked Ollie. "Is she cute?"

"Yea, though mostly in a pixie-goth kinda way. My friend at school is head over heels for her. He compared her to Wonder Woman," I said, taking a bite of my steak.

"Wonder Woman?" asked Roy, chipping in reluctantly.

"Like I said, head over heels. Though she _is_ pretty fierce, I try not to get on her bad side."

Ollie laughed.

"Sounds a lot like someone I know," said Ollie, looking at Dinah.

"Ugh, get a _room_," said Roy with a fake gag.

It wasn't a good natured comment though, and Dinah glared angrily.

_Get some manners_, I wanted to say.

Roy's behavior was appalling. I could see what Dinah was talking about when she said his attitude towards her and Ollie got worse when he was around friends. What made it even worse was that Ollie was reluctant to say anything.

_Okay, now I _really_ feel like crap for dissing her the other day. I can't believe she deals with this all the time from him! No wonder she's so patient with the team._

A thought struck me.

_Is _this _how I've been acting around my aunt and uncle?_

Dinah and Ollie made some more small talk until Ollie looked hesitantly at Roy and spoke up.

"So I was thinking, maybe the two of us could do patrol tonight? There's a case I've been working on, it'd be nice to have an extra set of eyes."

"I have my own case to work on tonight," said Roy snottily.

_Seriously Roy?_ I found myself looking at Roy in disbelief as he shut Ollie down yet again.

"What case?" I demanded. "When you got back last night you said things were dead as a doorknob."

I don't know why I said it. I'm pretty sure there was a superhero bro-code rule somewhere that specifically states not to do what I just did, but I couldn't help it. Ollie was so _obviously_ trying and here Roy was being…

_Being what? Rude? Ungrateful? Isn't that how you're being with your uncle?_

I felt instant guilt, which was quickly coupled with embarrassment when I realized that everyone was staring at me.

"Umm…oh, I forgot. You did mention that one case," I said, trying to cover my slip. "The one near the—right…sorry, don't mind me I just…need to use the bathroom." I stood up and left the room.

The second I was out of sight I slapped my palm against my forehead.

_Idiot!_ I cursed myself. _Stupid! Moronic! Idiot!_

I heard the sound of Ollie and Roy arguing and sighed, knowing I'd hear about this one later.

"You know you've incited civil war in there, right?" asked a voice.

I jumped and turned to see Dinah looking at me, her hand on her hip.

"Yea, I know. I'm really sorry. I didn't _mean _to cause a fight," I said with a groan.

"What made you say it?" she asked.

"I don't know…Roy was just being so…and I know I'm not one to talk. I've been such a jerk to everyone lately, but _still_."

"At least _you_ have an excuse," said Canary, rolling her eyes at the sound of Roy's voice arguing with Ollie from the next room.

"Excuses are for weenies."

Dinah raised an eyebrow.

"At least, that's what Batman says."

Cue the other eyebrow.

"Okay, that's what _Robin_ says Batman says. He might have been paraphrasing," I said sheepishly.

"Probably," said Dinah with an amused smile.

There was a breaking of glass in the next room and Dinah raised her voice enough to make me flinch in fear.

"I swear if either of you morons stain my new carpet or fight in my dining room there will be blood to pay!" she bellowed.

There was complete silence.

"Isn't this _your_ apartment?" I heard Roy say.

"Quiet, Roy, you'll understand when you're older," I heard Ollie reply.

Dinah smirked.

_He is so whipped._ I thought.

"Well, now that _those _two have piped down. I need to tell you something,"

"What?"

"Well, apparently your uncle tried to get a hold of you all last night, and you ignored his calls."

"My phone was dead."

"I know, he saw you'd left your charger at his house. He also saw that it was gone when he came home for lunch, meaning you saw that he called and you didn't call him back."

"Didn't want to bug him while he was at work?" I tried.

"Nice try, but no. He's coming over soon to talk to you in person."

I gulped and looked at the ground nervously.

"Hey, now don't be like that. I want you two to be able to talk this out like _mature_ _responsible_ speedsters, okay?"

"Yes," I said tiredly.

Canary put a hand on my shoulder. "Good, now go finish your dinner."

"I'm full," I said. The butterflies starting up in my stomach making the idea of eating more sound bad.

"Oh, no you don't. Your uncle told me about your little black out."

I flushed with anger.

"Did he now?" I demanded angrily. "And just who else has he been talking about me behind my back with?"

"We're just worried about you Wally, cut us some slack," said Dinah with a sigh.

"Fine," I said, "but cut _me_ some slack and believe me when I say I'm done eating right now."

Canary huffed.

"I'll wrap up the left overs for you to take back to Roy's tonight, but you are _going _to finish them tonight."

"Okay."

"Okay? What's _okay_ supposed to mean?"

"It means ma'am, yes ma'am," I said giving her a sarcastic salute.

"That's right," said Canary.

Just then her phone went off.

She checked it and looked up at me.

"Your uncle's on his way. Why don't you wait in Ollie's office?" she said.

"Sure," I said, getting up and wandering to the part of Ollie's penthouse that had his home office.

I entered the room, flicked on the lights, and shut the door behind me. It was just like something out of a movie. The window in the office had a narrow, floor to ceiling window that housed a epic view of the city. There were a couple, unnecessarily large, leather armchairs by the window, sandwiching a well-placed end table. The end table was made of glass_ of course_. Heaven forbid anyone say that this room isn't posh. Then there was the desk against one wall situated cozily between a large filing cabinet and a massive bookshelf that was actually built_ into_ the wall.

Long story short, I felt like I was waiting in the principal's office at a _really_ fancy school (like, _Gotham Academy_ fancy) for a really angry principal.

I sat on one of the leather chairs. It really was oversized, which made me feel even smaller. I looked out the window at the city and wondered how much they'd charge for an apartment an _eighth_ of the size of Ollie's pent house and less than a_ sixteenth_ of the amenities _just _for this view.

I amused myself by trying to calculate this sum before deciding that whatever the price, it was sure to be more than I could ever hope to afford and gave up.

I tried not to think about the fact that my uncle was probably going to enter at any moment and yell at me. If I did I'd just start playing what-ifs and scare myself by putting words in Uncle Barry's mouth.

_But what if he hates you?_

_Shut up._ I told my inner voice.

_What if he hates you as much as _I_ hate you?_

_ Okay, given that you're technically a part of me, that sounded exceptionally angsty._

_ What are you going to say to him? You ignored him, caused trouble, what are you going to do?_

_ I'll do my best._

_ Yeah, like that'll ever be enough—_

The door opened and I was relieved at the distraction from my inner self. Then I was suddenly worried that my inner self was something I needed distracting from.

_You're insane_

_ No, I'm not. Everyone talks to themselves, this is normal, this is normal. _

"Wally?" asked my uncle, entering the room and closing the door.

"Um…hey?" I said.

My uncle sat down in the chair across from me.

He stared at me, watching me with a forceful expression on his face, like he was trying to see through me.

I squirmed under the pressure of his gaze and looked at the floor, trying to pretend that he wasn't staring me down.

"Wally, what's going on?" he asked,

"Nothing," I said, more because I didn't know how to explain myself than because I actually meant it.

"_Nothing_ doesn't make Canary call me and say that you're staying in Star City for two weeks despite the fact that you are _grounded_."

"It was Roy's idea," I muttered, cringing back from the stern tone.

"Roy's idea?" asked my uncle. "So what? He _forced _you to say yes? He _forced _you to ignore my calls? You had _no_ say in this whatsoever?"

I just shrugged nervously, still looking at the floor.

"Wally if you don't start telling me what's going on I'm going to take you home right now."

My head jerked up at the word home and I looked at my uncle.

"Mom wants me back?" I asked hopefully.

The second his brow scrunched I realized that that wasn't what he meant. This knowledge didn't make it any easier to hear him say:

"I meant my house," he said. "Your mom's still in the process of moving."

I looked back down at the floor, wondering why I was so crushed by this. It was something I already knew. I shouldn't be upset. I couldn't help it though, and I found myself wishing that I could just shut off my emotions for a while.

"That's not home," I found myself saying coldly. I didn't know why I lashed out, but as soon as I did I kicked myself, waiting for the angry retort.

My uncle though was quiet, and he remained so until I looked at him. He was still staring at me as if I were a science experiment that he needed to study.

"I'm sorry that you're having a hard time right now," he said. "I know things aren't easy, but it's not fair for you to take your anger out on me and Iris."

"Why do you think I don't want to stay with you?" I snapped impulsively, not wanting to hear anymore about what a brat I'd been lately. It only made me feel more worthless.

"What do you mean by that?" asked my uncle sternly, demanding clarification.

"I don't know!" I said irritably, unable to put the hodgepodge of crazy emotions I was feeling into words.

"You must have _some_ idea, or you wouldn't have said it," growled my uncle.

"I don't know, just go away!" I hissed, glaring at him and crossing my arms defensively.

"Wally—"

"No, go away!" I said, fed up with the conversation and trying to explain things that I couldn't make sense of myself.

"Wallace Rudolph West!" snapped my uncle, frustrated with me.

My burning irritation became blazing anger and I found myself shouting.

"Don't call me that! You're _not_ my dad!"

_Yes. _

The words touched me to the core and they were so _right_ that I found myself saying them again.

"You're _not _my _dad_!"

_Yes. _

"So just leave me alone! You don't even know anything, stop pretending that you understand!"

"Wally—" started my uncle sternly, probably trying to use the tone of authority to get me to listen but it only made me angrier.

"No! I'm done. I don't want to hear it anymore. I don't want to hear your BS about how it's better that I stay with you right now. You and Aunt Iris aren't my parents, so stop butting into my life. I don't need you harassing me on top of everything else. I don't need you at all!" I yelled.

Once again I wished I could just shut off my emotions because the longer I talked the harder it became to force the words from my tightening throat. The last syllable came out as a choke and my eyes watered so much that they spilled over, tears falling from them.

I swore angrily and hid my face in the wrists of my sleeves, trying to stop _crying_ because it was just so embarrassing and I didn't want to cry, I wanted to be angry. I wanted to yell and rant some more, but I couldn't say anything at all if I wanted to salvage my pride.

I concentrated on breathing, not wanting to become a sobbing mess for the hundredth time this month.

"Kid," said my uncle, sympathetically. "I know I'm not your dad, but I love you, and so does your aunt. We care about you, and when we tell you to do something, we're not doing it to try and boss you around, we're doing it because we _care_," he said.

I didn't reply, I couldn't.

"I know you'd rather stay with your parents, but that's just not possible right now, and since it's not I want you to stay with me and Iris."

I snorted in disbelief and he looked at me.

"What's with the skepticism?"

I just shrugged, using my sleeves to rub at my eyes.

"Canary said that I told you that you were difficult, hard to live with," said my uncle.

I nodded.

"When did I say that?" he asked, and I could see in his eyes that he was genuinely bothered by the accusation.

"When you threw me into a haystack and yelled at me for upsetting Aunt Iris," I muttered.

My uncle groaned.

"You honestly took that seriously?" asked my uncle in disbelief.

"Should I _not_ have?" I demanded, feeling a little angry.

"No! Come on, Wally, I didn't mean it like that. You know it, or at least you _should_."

"Right because _you've_ been doing such a good job at distinguishing what I say out of temper verses what I actually mean. I mean, hey, look at the situation with Aunt Iris. I was freaking out about mom leaving and all _she _got out of that conversation was that I disrespected her," I snapped.

"That's what you were fighting about?" asked my uncle.

"What, you didn't know?" I asked in surprise.

"Well…it didn't really come up, she just wanted me to go find you. She had no idea where you went."

"Why is that such a big deal?" I demanded. "I left, yea, but I'm almost sixteen, it's not like I can't take care of myself!"

"You've been acting erratically lately, Wally," said my uncle. "Your aunt and I are really worried about you."

"Why is everyone so worried about _me_? Why aren't people worrying about my _Dad_? He's the one whose life is in danger!"

"Your dad is _safe_ in _rehab_. You on the other hand keep running off in the middle of the night without telling anyone! That time in Gotham you almost _drowned _yourself, in a _fountain_!"

"I did not almost drown!" I said, rolling my eyes.

"You admitted it yourself! You were lucky not to have drowned! And you also passed out because you _weren't eating._ Do you understand how scary that is to me? You're a speedster! You starving yourself…and the…Wally are you _trying_ to get yourself killed?"

"Of course not!"

"Then what _are_ you trying to do?!"

"I don't know! I'm just trying not to screw things up worse than they already are!"

"By running yourself into the ground?"

"I'm not running myself into the ground!"

"You are, Wally you just don't _care_."

"Why should I?!" I demanded.

My uncle leaned back, eyes wide.

"Um…I didn't mean it like that," I said, shrinking back from the negative reaction

"Yes you did," said my uncle.

"No! I didn't."

My uncle closed his eyes.

"Wally," he said in a very serious tone.

"What?" I asked.

"Answer me. And swear to me on your costume that you're telling the truth."

"What?" I asked nervously.

"Are you thinking about suicide?"

"No!" I said shaking my head. "I promise I'm not. I _promise_," I insisted.

"Are you depressed?" he pressed.

"Am I—?" The first question had been easy to answer, but the second? How was I supposed to know? It's not like I'd thought about it.

"I don't know," I admitted.

"I see," said my uncle, looking out the window. He stared out into the city and spoke calmly. "Wally, I want you to come back home with me, to my house," he said, remembering to clarify "home".

I bit my lip.

"I don't really want…"

"Wally, _please_." My uncle looked me in the eye.

"I _love_ you. I love you_ so much_. And I won't be able to _sleep_ at night unless I know without a shadow of a doubt that you are being properly looked after. I don't care if you're old enough to take care of yourself, I need to know that you're safe."

"I am safe," I said.

"I don't think you are," said my uncle, "and that scares me more than I can say. _Please_ Wally. Come back to my house."

I slouched.

"I'll just be in the way."

"Wally, you won't. Alright? I didn't mean it when I said you make our lives difficult. You have your moments sure, we all do, but most of the time you _light up_ our lives. You make our home feel like a home when you're bouncing around just being _you._ I know I'm not your dad, but that doesn't mean that you're not precious to me."

I looked at the floor and my uncle got up, crossed the room, and hugged me.

"Please, Wally."

_Who can say no to that?_

"Okay."

"Go with Roy then. I want you to get your stuff and come back here."

"Okay."

I stood up and left the room, feeling drained of energy and entered the living room.

Roy glared at my uncle when he saw him.

"Wally needs to pick up his stuff from your place, Roy. Do you mind taking over and bringing him back?"

"I don't think so," growled Roy.

"It's fine, Roy," I said tiredly. "Come on, I'll explain in the car."

He followed me out and I saw the way Barry and Dinah exchanged looks. It was clear that they'd start talking about me the second I was out of the room and that irritated me to no end. I let it go though, as no amount of irritation would stop the chatter at this point.

. . . . . . . . . .

"Look, he's worried. He won't take no for an answer."

"He was a jerk to you!" Roy and I were in the car, arguing.

"Well it's not like I was an angel either Roy. It was a two way fight, alright?"

"What about that comment he made?"

"What comment?"

"_You_ know the one."

I sighed.

"Apparently he didn't mean it. He basically said that I was _being_ difficult but I didn't actually make _life _difficult."

"And you believe him?"

"…I feel like however I answer than will somehow be wrong."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"If I say no, you'll blame my self-esteem. If I say yes, you'll say I'm going to easy on him."

"You _are_ going too easy on him."

"Excuse me, but not _all_ of us can be permanently mad at out mentors," I said huffily.

"_What?_"

"Come _on_, Roy. You've been blowing off Ollie since _July_!"

"He lied to me!"

"He was more honest with you than anyone else's mentor was with them!" I retorted. "Come on, what happened wasn't _nearly_ as bad as some of the other stuff he's pulled before. What are you _really_ mad about?"

"I don't know, I just am!" snarled Roy.

I winced at his harshness and slouched in my seat.

"I can't explain it," he said, checking his tone a little as he glanced at my posture. "I just get so mad. Whenever I think about how close we came to being in the league… I don't know what it is, it just makes me angry at him, at _them_."

Roy sighed. "I know it's been a while but still…" he trailed off. "In any case the way you threw me under the bus at dinner was _so_ uncool. Why would you do that to me?" he asked, his anger flickering up again.

I looked out the window and picked at my sleeve.

"It's…I was being a moron. I just thought…I thought of all the times you said Ollie was like a dad to you, and Dinah was like a mom. When I saw how hard they were trying, just to _be_ with you. I got angry. I mean, you're pretty much their _son_ and you just left them. It wasn't even because you _had _to, you just _left_ them because you wanted to and even after all these weeks you still won't so much as sit through dinner without making them miserable."

I shook my head.

"It's hypocritical, with the way I've been treating my aunt and uncle, but—"

"You weren't comparing us to your aunt and uncle though, were you?" asked Roy perceptively. "You were thinking of your parents."

I didn't respond to that and the silence remained until me and Roy went up to his apartment.

He did turn to me after I'd gathered my stuff though.

"I'm gonna come visit you this week."

"Roy, it's fine, you don't have…"

"Save it. I don't want you going back to your uncles and freaking out and convincing yourself that I hate you just because we argued."

"Um…what?"

"You tend to do that when you're stressed. Robin mentioned it once."

"Freaking ninja," I grumbled.

"Yea, speaking of which, you'd better tell him. He's going to be really angry if he has to find this out himself."

"Roy…"

"Hey, I'm just saying," said Roy, "he's the type to be really insulted if you keep him in the dark."

"He's already got a lot to deal with."

"He won't care, he'll be more bothered if you don't say anything."

"Can we not talk about this right now?" I requested.

Roy gave me a look, then caved.

"Fine."

"Hey, I get out of work early Wednesday, I'll come visit you, okay?" he asked as he helped me take my stuff out to the car.

"I don't know if my uncle…"

"Don't even try, Wally I've got Dinah on my side."

I sighed dramatically.

"Whatever, just try not to come until after four, I have to stay after for English."

"Still determined to become an overnight overachiever?"

"Yep."

Roy chuckled as we tossed my stuff in his car.


	20. Chapter 20: Conspiracy

**Well, I'd tell you guys why I haven't updated in so long but Batman says excuses are for weenies, so here's the chapter. Thanks to everyone who encouraged me to update. ** **Also, there's a section where I didn't use italics for Wally's thoughts because there's so much content and I didn't want you guys to have to read pages of italics.**

**PS **I want to thank someone who sent me a message recommending that I pull Kaldur in because he was being neglected. I can't remember who it was because it's been a while and I was having a hard time sifting through past PMs. Feel free to message me if you want your username noted in the next chapter. Also thanks to WindsChild8178 for letting me bounce ideas off her.****

Being grounded sucks. What's worse is when you're grounded but still retain television privileges. No, really, it's torture. See, because you're allowed to watch it you place the fate of your entertainment into the black box of wonder only to drown in boredom when there is _nothing _on. Or, worse, you tune in and see a news bulletin about a supervillain attacking and you're forced to sit back and watch someone _else_ go take care of it because you're _grounded_. It would have been more entertaining if I'd been banned because (A) I probably would stop being so lazy and go find something else to do, and (B) if I _did_ chose to watch television while my aunt and uncle were out of the house I would be defying them which, of course, made even the crappiest shows seem entertaining.

I sighed as I clicked the channel button on the remote. I'd hit it so many times at this point that I was starting to wonder if the darn thing would break.

"Whhhhhyyyyy?" I whined as I completed my _fourth_ consecutive lap around all the stations, boredom adding a touch of lethargy to my tone.

No one answered, of course, since my aunt and uncle were working late. It was probably lucky that they were, I've been in rare form since Roy came to visit yesterday. It was two days after I'd left his place and my aunt and uncle were working late so he'd come to keep me company. He'd brought some enchiladas that Dinah made and we started talking about what was going on with my family. It'd started out innocently enough (if a little tense because I felt like he's been recruited to babysit me) but then he started trying to convince me that I should tell Rob and possibly the others what was going. He said Robin would find out eventually and I owed it to him to tell the truth.

I still remember how annoyed I was that he even brought it up.

"_So, Kal says M'gann sent you all a message inviting you to the Halloween dance," _he had said.

"_Yeah," I told him with a shrug. _

"_Think you'll go?" asked Roy._

"_I guess. I don't really have a costume but I'm sure I can dig something up. Anything's better than staying home all weekend. _

_Roy hesitated. _

"_You know, everyone seems to be cheering up after the simulation, maybe you should tell them what's going on?"_

_I looked at him in disbelief._

"_What? They're cheering up now so I should take this opportunity to bring them all down?" I snorted. "Nice, Roy."_

"_Then when _are_ you going to tell them?"_

I remember thinking hard about how I would respond_. When _would _be the right time? _I had wondered._ I couldn't tell them when they were down because I didn't need to give them more to worry about and I couldn't tell them when they were up, because then I'd be bringing them down…Besides, why did I _really_ need to tell them? It wasn't their business anyway._

"_I'm not going to," I said finally, deciding that really, they didn't _need_ to know._

"_Why? They're going to find out eventually?"_

"_I doubt it, they never hang with me outside the job."_

"_Rob does," said Roy. "And Kaldur sometimes."_

This made me nervous, but I shoved it away because I didn't really want to think about it.

"_Can we not talk about this right now?" I said, not really wanting to think about the flaw in my logic._

"_If not now then when?" demanded Roy._

"_Why are you so pushy all of the sudden?" I asked, annoyed._

_Roy sighed._

"_Kaldur's been worried about you. He mentioned it before the simulation and he called me yesterday…"_

"_Did you tell him anything?" I demanded._

"_No! But I think that you should, I mean, you owe him a little honesty."_

_Honesty?_

_The idea made me uncomfortable, probably because I'd been lying for so long I wasn't sure how my friends would take the truth. I didn't say that though, instead I got defensive._

"_I don't owe anyone anything, so mind your own business!"_

It had gone south after that. I'd pushed Roy's buttons which caused him to blow up next and we ended up throwing insults back and forth for a few minutes before Roy got angry enough to storm out.

I was still angry at the situation and every word that has left my mouth since then has had either a sarcastic or moody undertone to it even when I _wasn't _trying.

It didn't help that my aunt and uncle were always looking at me out of the corners of their eyes and "subtly" finding excuses to bring me snacks. It was ridiculous! I mean, really, I pass out _once_ and suddenly everyone thinks I'm helpless? It made me angry, but I was really trying not to lose my temper so I just tried to avoid interacting with them as much as possible.

I groaned as I realized that I'd been flipping channels for so long I'd entered the next freaking _timeslot_ and there were all new shows starting. A quick assessment revealed nothing but catty reality shows and home improvement projects. A glance at the guide showed me that the news was on however and I jumped to that channel, so fed up with the other stations that I was willing to risk seeing the Flash out saving the day while I was stuck inside.

A serious-looking newscaster came into view and my eyes drifted to the little news headline. My heart gave a nasty jump as I registered the words "Crack Venom."

_What?!_

The remote froze in my hand and I frowned deeply, furrowing my eyebrows as I focused on what the newscaster was saying.

"_A real push to crack down on drugs, especially after the Qurac president's son was recently discovered to be addicted to Crack Venom."_

I turned the volume up on the remote unconsciously, as I sat up straight in my chair, horrified but captivated.

_"Queen Bee of Bialya is currently planning to meet with Qurac's president to control the trafficking of this drug between Bialya and Qurac. Queen Bee states that the key to solving many of the problems between the two nations is to have them work together as much as possible. Speculation that Queen Bee wants to unite Qurac and Bialya is still unconfirmed."_

As the news jumped to another story I sat there silently. After I got over the feeling of being slapped in the face by the story I began to think.

_Wait this was on yesterday at Ollie's…is this a big story?_

I drummed the fingers of my good hand against my cast as thoughts overtook me.

_Qurac huh? Queen Bee gaining control of them would not be good. It's scary enough that she's in control of Bialya. As for the Crack Venom. _I shuddered. _I didn't know that'd gone international. _

I brooded over this until another question came into my head.

_When did it get to Qurac?_

I pondered this.

_Google can tell me. _I thought, unconsciously biting my lip.

Despite this thought I made no move to go and get my laptop.

_ Do I really want to know? _I asked myself. _Do I want to open up that can of worms?_

I thought about it for a good few minutes before the next thought came.

_It's not like you have anything better to do. Besides, it's going to keep bugging you until you do something about it._

So in the end my morbid curiosity (thought Roy would probably call it masochism) won and I soon found myself upstairs in the guest room, searching for Crack Venom and its relationship to Qurac on my laptop.

I looked through several pages, but every answer I found only led to more questions. And just like that I was in researcher mode. I went through page after page of data and articles, double checking sources, looking at evidence, dates, and everything else I could find.

An hour and a half later I had impressive stack of notes, organized in chronological order. My head was spinning with all the information I'd just inundated myself with and I forced myself to pause.

Okay, okay, you just read a _lot_ of details, so think carefully, what's the point? What are the main ideas?

I clicked my pen a few times before grabbing a fresh sheet of paper.

_What do I know? _I thought to myself.

I started with the basics and began to form a list.

1. Crack Venom made its first appearance in Qurac.

I paused. That was interesting in and of itself because Cobra typically marketed his drugs in North and South America, on the _rare_ occasion that he went overseas he typically aimed for the Caribbean Islands, never the Middle East though. If drugs migrated there it was through no direct effort of his.

_And yet Cobra started there, why?_

My stomach gave a pang of hunger, but I closed my eyes and ignored it, focusing my thoughts.

The news had talked about…what was it?

"_Queen Bee, of Bialya is currently planning to meet with Qurac's president to control the trafficking of this drug between Bialya and Qurac." _

My eyes flew open.

That's not right…The leader of Qurac hates Queen Bee. The two sides have been fighting for years; they rarely ever get together.

I frowned.

I don't get it; the fact that they're meeting is a bigger story than the one on Crack Venom so why are they focusing on the drug? I mean, I know the incidence rates of people being admitted to rehabilitation centers are climbing by the day but still…

Something about this last thought nagged at my brain but I couldn't figure out why.

In any case…why is the Qurac president meeting with Queen Bee about all this? I mean, I know his son's affected…

I got another funny feeling in the back of my mind. It was like trying to think of a song that you couldn't quite remember the lyrics to. The information was there, in the back of my mind…

Put them together; put them together. Qurac's president…what's his name? Rumaan Harjavti! That was it! Anyway, Harjavti isn't a big fan of Queen Bee, obviously, there's been conflict between those countries for forever. But apparently he's willing to talk about controlling the drug trafficking with her. Probably because of his son? But that doesn't make sense, not at all. The drug originated in Qurac and the impact it has had in Bialya is secondary to the splash it has made in Qurac. In fact, I thought, looking through my notes. The numbers are significantly different because there's so much conflict near the border that trading, even illegal drug trading, is difficult. Not to mention that this meeting implies that Qurac is Bialyas main supplier. What does Qurac's president stand to gain from solidifying the border? The problem is rooted in his country and he'd only be serving to help Queen Bee, perhaps even making the problem worse if traders who can't get the drugs to Bialya start selling more in Qurac Unless…

My eyes widened.

Unless the drugs are coming from Bialya and being transferred into Qurac

But why?

Cobra goes out of his way to get drugs to Qurac, suddenly the president's son is addicted and Queen Bee is ready to pounce because she wants to get Qurac under her thumb. She's scheduling this meeting with him and he's accepting even though it benefits her more. Why is he accepting?

Because…

Because…

Because…

Because Cobra is working with Queen Bee. Cobra developed the drug…more than just a drug, a poison with a high fatality rate. But what good is a developer of a drug? It's addictive, it makes you sick…

It wasn't so much of a click in my thoughts as an explosion as things fell into place.

Crack Venom isn't just a typical drug it's a sickness, people _die_ from it even after they stop taking it—and what's the goal of _every person_ who has someone dear to them who is ill, possibly dying?

I thought of Dad, already knowing the answer. What we wanted, more than anything, was to find a cure.**(1)** That was why the president was meeting with Queen Bee.

The second realization made my gut churn.

So that means that all of this—all of this stuff with Crack Venom started because Queen Bee wanted to be able to manipulate the President of Qurac.

I felt sick and my head began to spin.

_There's more to it though_, I realized.

Cobra brought the drug over here, I'm sure its profitable but if he had a reason to bring it to Qurac then surely he had a reason to bring it here.

_Think, what do Qurac and the US have in common?_

I picked at my cast and chewed my lip.

The United States had a history of supporting Qurac in any conflict it had against Bialya. We make it more difficult for Bialya to gain ground with them…

But what would they have to gain by bringing the drug here? Other than profit?

I recalled the news cast once more, but it failed to give me any insight.

They barely talked about international relations, the main topic of the story was—

Suddenly my concentrated gaze fell out of focus and I dropped my pen.

My hands were shaking.

The main topic of the story was Crack Venom. That's not good journalism, since the bigger issue was the two nations meeting, so why would they make that the focus of the report?

I snatched my laptop and my fingers _flew_. It took some research and a touch of hacking but soon I was getting names.

Most of them I didn't recognize, a couple of them belonged to senators but there was one thing I noticed more than anything…

Reporter Cat Grant had lost a cousin to the drug.

Perry White, editor of the Daily Planet had a niece who was addicted.

The chief of the news station that had played tonight's story had a wife in rehab.

And…and Iris West-Allen's brother was addicted to Crack Venom.

I laid back down on my bed, faintly. I couldn't move or breathe.

If they get the United States media involved, not just involved but passionate about the story, they get the public involved and if the public is involved and Queen Bee is suddenly responsible for a cure…

Then it'll make it easier for _her_ to gain public support, or at least gain leverage so the US will keep its noses out of the conflict. If that happens, it'll be that much easier for her to take over Qurac..

I didn't know what was worse, the fact that my dad was just another piece of this—this _plan_ or the plan itself.

I curled up in a ball on my bed in shock and disgust at what I'd just discovered. My scribbled notes surrounded me and my laptop was open near my foot, the screensaver was serenely going through its typical motions. I watched the shapes bouncing slowly around the screen before my eyes started acting funny and I had to shut them tight.

My mind would not accept what was happening. It just wouldn't.

I sat there for a long time, in a trance, until my cell phone rang. I looked at it as it blared an obnoxious song. It vibrated once, then twice, then three times.

_Okay, Wally, move your hand._

It took me a minute to obey and another to accept the call from my aunt.

"Hello?" I said blankly into to phone.

"Wally? What's wrong?" asked my aunt, surprised by the tone.

"Nothing…I was just taking a nap," I said calmly. It was so easy to lie now…

"Oh, sorry I woke you, honey," said my aunt. "I just wanted to let you know that I'm on my way to cover one of the Flash's battle's and I won't be home until late. Your uncle will be late too because he has a meeting for work. Did you eat dinner?"

I glanced at the guest room clock and realized that it was almost nine at night.

"Aunt Iris, are you kidding? I had _two _dinners. You guys were taking _forever._" I managed to put some emotion into my voice for this lie, though I realized that I probably should eat…

My aunt laughed, sounding relieved.

"Well did you do your homework?"

"Yep," I said, telling the truth for the first time since the conversation started.

"Good. Well, be sure to get to bed by eleven, I don't want you up late on a school night."

"Will do," I said, wanting to get off the phone as soon as possible.

"Oh, I have to go, I'll see you later!" said my aunt suddenly.

"Okay, bye," I said, barely waiting for her to return the sentiment before hanging up.

My numbness had worn off a bit and the loss of it left me frantic.

_I need to tell someone, someone I can trust, someone who already knows what's going on with my family, and most importantly, someone who won't rat on me to other people the way Batman did._

The thought of just mentioning it to my uncle crossed my mind but I hesitated.

_ If he knows, he'll tell Aunt Iris. How would she feel if she found out that my dad was addicted because of his connection to her? No, she can't know, which is why Uncle Barry can't know._

I kept running through people in my mind and paused when I thought of Roy.

_You two had a fight just yesterday._

_ This is important, besides who else can you trust?_

I sighed and stood up.

_Let's see; can I get away with going to see him? Aunt Iris mentioned that Uncle Barry had a meeting for "work" which is unnecessary. The fact that she was going to a Flash battle would be enough to tip me off to Uncle Barry's whereabouts. That must mean he's doing something with the League later on and won't be home for hours. As for Aunt Iris, she'll be on the scene of the battle for a couple hours and if it's minor she'll need to go back to the studio to get it prepped for the next broadcast. It'll probably end up on the eleven o'clock news, which means I can't expect her back until at least midnight._

This was perfect. I grabbed all my notes, stuffed them into my bag along with my spare costume and ran downstairs. I barely remembered to stop and eat before taking off. It wouldn't do to pass out before I got to my destination after all.

I was so intent on getting to Roy's that I barely remembered to change into my Kid Flash costume before I started running. I was so scatterbrained, that I missed the alley In Star City that I typically changed into my civvies in and had to double back.

I was in my civilian clothes with my shirt on backwards when I entered Roy's building and hurried up to his apartment

I knocked on the door loudly and stood outside.

I heard footsteps and the door was opened by the confused looking red-head.

"Wally?" he asked, thrown off.

I opened my mouth, as he stepped back to let me in, ready to tell him everything, only to freeze as I looked over to the couch and saw a boy standing there.

I looked at the boy before it suddenly clicked that I was staring at Kaldur, who was staring back.

"Wally, what brings you here?" he asked.

"Just uh, wanted to see Roy…I was bored," I said, my throat dry. It was like being high on adrenaline and suddenly crashing. I'd been all geared up to tell Roy what I'd found, but I felt my hopes crash and burn at the sight of Kaldur. I slumped a bit, a little less charged than I had been a minute ago.

I stood in the door way of Roy's apartment, frozen like I'd just been caught in an enemy surveillance room by an A level villain. And there was Kaldur, looking equally surprised and…for some reason…somewhat nervous?

"Oh, I see," said Kaldur.

Silence.

"So uh, so…what brings you here?" I asked uneasily after a minute.

"Just visiting a friend," said Kaldur politely.

Roy rolled his eyes, though I could see worry in his face as he glanced at me.

"So Wally, why don't you sit down and tell us about your day?" asked Roy carefully, trying to make the air less tense.

"Yea," I said with faked sincerity as I sat down on Roy's slightly beat up armchair. In my mind I was screaming for Kaldur to go away so that I could talk to Roy about what was going on. I was dying to tell someone about what I'd found, but I couldn't with Kaldur in the room. He had enough to worry about between the simulation and the way it's been affecting the team.

"What about you Kaldur, I haven't seen you much, how have you been?" I asked, changing the subject away from myself as he and Roy sat down.

"I'm fine," said Kaldur.

Roy gave me a sarcastic look as he picked up on the fact that I'd moved the conversation away from myself. Then, strangely, he took that same sarcastic look and showed it to Kaldur. The Atlantian seemed uneasy and I was caught between sympathy for how uncomfortable Kaldur appeared to be and relief that Roy wasn't paying attention to me right that second.

A few seconds passed as the pair stared at each other. If I didn't know better, I'd have guessed the two were using telepathic communication. They were clearly talking about something important before I came and Roy was encouraging him to keep speaking.

I frowned. _Why is Roy so obsessed with getting us to share our feelings lately?_

I watched as Kaldur seemed to fight with both himself and Roy until, after a couple minutes Kaldur surprised everyone, even himself I'd bet, by cracking.

"Actually…I'm not fine," he said with a sigh.

The comment startled me into shoving my thought on Crack Venom aside for a second. This was _really _out of character for Kaldur. I tilted my head in confusion.

"What's wrong?" I asked in concern.

Kaldur looked me straight in the eye and the grave look instantly put me on the alert.

"I think that…perhaps I am not fit to be your team leader."

"What?! What the heck are you talking about? Where is this even coming from?" I demanded.

_Where is this whole _conversation_ coming from? I just came here to talk to Roy! _My mind yelled.

Kaldur sighed. "I have been dwelling on this for a while. I am just not the appropriate choice."

I shook my head. _Why are we having this discussion? CRACK VENOM is killing people! _Yelled a voice in my head, angry that I was getting off task

_Okay, get your mind off your own problems for a sec while we nip this in the bud, _I told myself.

"Oh, come _on_! Do you really think we would have made you leader if you weren't the appropriate choice?" I asked, rolling my eyes. My approach lacked patience, but I was so on edge that I just couldn't help it.

Kaldur looked sad and the sight made me pause in my mental freak out and fully focus.

"It is just… the team does not need me. Not for advice, or moral support, or anything. M'gann has Conner, you and Robin are inseparable, even Artemis, who is new, tends to gravitate to the others more. Sometimes I feel like it doesn't even make a difference whether or not I'm in the cave."

"Of _course_ it makes a difference!" I said. "Kaldur, you're an important member of the team, you're our friend," I said.

"It is just…whenever someone on the team has an issue I am always the last to know," he said sadly.

There was a pause in which I tried to find words to express what was running through my mind. The tangle of thoughts that had been plaguing me since I made my discovery didn't make it any easier.

"Well…yeah, you're the leader," I finally said, my brow crinkling.

"Why should that matter?" he asked, looking frustrated. "Should I not be the first to know about any personal issues the team is experiencing?"

"Um, I guess, but…that's not really how it works," I said.

Kaldur silently prompted me to continue.

"Okay, here's the thing. You're leader, which means you already have a lot to worry about. You're the guy that has to report to Batman, help plan training sessions, help run the cave, and just, generally make sure everyone's feeling the aster," I said with a shrug. The fact that I'd borrowed one of Robin's words for this serious conversation showed how off I was feeling and I saw Roy frown a little.

"You have enough to worry about without thinking about personal problems," I said.

Kaldur frowned. "My duties as leader should not dissuade you from confiding in me. We're friends are we not?"

"Of course! But—but sometimes it's not that simple," I said.

"It isn't?" asked Roy and I knew what he was trying to do. He wanted me to tell Kaldur about the Crack Venom.

"Well, _no_. Seriously, when's the last time you told _us_ about something that was going on _you_?" I said, ignoring Roy.

"That is different," argued Kaldur, "I am team leader, and it is my responsibility to—"

"There's your problem right there," said Roy, cutting in as he made an exasperated hand gesture.

Both Kaldur and I just looked at him blankly and he huffed.

"Come on, Kal, do you really expect them to confide in you if you won't confide in them?" The words seemed to be directed only at Kal, but I saw him glance at me out of the corner of his eye.

Kaldur's brow crinkled.

"Well, when I was a soldier in Atlantis—"

"You aren't a soldier anymore Kaldur," said Roy. "You're on a team, and you can't build relationships with the people on the team as friends if you only allow yourself to behave professionally all the time."

"I suppose," Kaldur said looking like he hadn't really thought of it before.

"I'm sure the main problem here is a lack of _open_ and _honest _communication," said Roy. I sensed the jab and I probably would have snapped if he'd looked at me when he said that. Fortunately though, he didn't make it obvious that he was referring to me. Which was nice I guess because despite the constant jabs he was still leaving it up to me.

"So essentially what you are saying is that if I talk to the team more about myself and what's going on in my life they will follow my example and discuss things with me?"

"Yes, though it may take some time, especially if it's something really personal," said Roy. "Though if you're worried about someone, sometimes the quickest way to figure out is to ask what's going on."

Kaldur nodded and then glanced at me as if he'd just thought of something.

"Well, thank you for the advice, I shall reflect on it," he said with a calm smile.

Roy nodded at him and I flashed a false smile.

Just as the silence after that conversation grew awkward Roy stood up and stretched his back.

"You hungry, Wally? I was thinking of grabbing some chips."

I nodded mechanically, more because it was expected of me than because I was actually hungry.

Roy wandered into the kitchen, leaving me and Kaldur sitting in the living room.

I took a silent breath and tapped my cast with my fingers.

"Well, now that we've talked about me," Kaldur started with sardonic smile, "why don't you tell me about how you've been? I haven't spoken with you much as of late."

_Here we go. _I thought, with a mental grumble.

"Oh, think have been so-so, you know, just school and stuff," I mumbled.

"Ah, so all is well then?"

I lied without hesitation, giving a slight nod and a smile. I think the worst part was that I was able to look him right in the eye as I did it.

"I am glad, I noticed that before the…simulation…that you were acting a little off."

"Really?" I asked, my question sounding a touch too strained to be sincere. "Huh, must've woken up on the right side of the bed." It was at this point that I felt like the worst hypocrite ever. The fact that Roy was in the other room, probably listening to me fib added to my discomfort.

Kaldur looked like he didn't believe me and I realized why at once. He was talking about the day I came into the cave and got into an argument with Robin. Granted, he didn't see the argument but the tension was obvious and trying to pretend that I didn't remember? Wrong angle.

Kaldur leaned forward slightly so he could look me in the eye more.

"If there were something, I hope that you would tell me," he stated. "You would wouldn't you? If there were something going on?"

I couldn't hold his gaze this time.

_Crap, tell him. I know you don't want to worry him but he pretty much said he's more worried when I don't say anything. Besides, If I don't tell the truth now I'm just going to dig myself in deeper._

I paused.

"Um, there was one thing…"

I tried to think of where to start and the very thought daunted me.

_Nope, can't do it, abort, abort!_

"I um…have been working on a case!" I blurted out.

"A case?" asked Roy coming back into the room with a couple bags of chips and some dip. He'd probably been giving me space to talk to Kaldur but he was back now that it was clear that I wasn't really going to.

"Um…"

_No, no. This is good. Talk about the news reports and what you found, you don't have to mention your parents._

"Yes!" I started. "I just had a break in it tonight, actually."

"Really?" asked Roy, giving me a look that said "_Seriously, Wally?"_

I gave a nod, opening my mouth to explain. I'd planned to be calm, to sound like the case _wasn't_ as important to me as it actually was but once I started speaking the words became more frantic. They tumbled from my mouth so rapidly that I had to concentrate to ensure that I was still comprehensible.

My hands gestured violently and I yanked the notes from my backpack with the intention of showing Roy and Kaldur, but I just waved them around as I spoke since I already had the information memorized.

As I spoke Roy looked at me with shock and concern while Kaldur seemed confused by my attitude and the fact that I'd clearly come here just to tell Roy all of this.

I got so into explaining my connection between famous reporters and crack venom victims that I slipped up, horribly.

"…and I think they got my dad hooked because my aunt's a well known reporter, so it makes sense, and they've got a lot of news editors in the palm of—"

"Wait," said Kaldur as he held up a hand. His face crinkled and he looked like he was having a hard time telling if he'd heard me right. "Your _f__ather_ is on Crack Venom?"

I paused. My mouth opened and closed as my body tried to plow on and finish the speech I was making while my mind was completely stuck.

Roy's eyes met mine and he silently offered to explain for me, but as tempting as that was I shook my head. I hated the idea of being spoken for while I was in the room. I cleared my throat.

"Yep, he's in rehab though, no sweat," I said brusquely.

"Since when—"

"Since around the time I started acting funny, I'm not very subtle," I quipped, ready to move on to another topic. "So, anyway, when I first found all this out I figured I'd come to Roy because while I _have_ this information I'm not really sure what to _do _with it."

I turned to Roy, waiting for him to speak. He paused, seeming to be stuck on the part of the conversation where I was talking about my dad and I glared at him until he spoke.

"Right, um…" he thought for a moment before he seemed to think of something. He blew some air out of his lips in an exasperated huff and his shoulders slumped a bit.

"As much as I _hate_ to say this, we should probably tell the League. Probably…" he scowled. "Probably Ollie, because I seriously doubt that you have your uncle's permission to be here and it'll take too long to get anyone else."

I gave him a nod to confirm this and he sighed.

He grabbed one of the chips, (which we'd all been ignoring up until this point) and swiped it moodily through the dip. He stuffed it into his mouth as if it were his last meal and slumped out of the room.

Me and Kaldur looked at each other in exasperation. Roy was being overdramatic again, but at least _he_ had suggested calling Ollie. Had anyone else brought it all he might have ranted about being an independent adult who didn't need to be rescued like some side-kick. Blah, blah, blah.

"Hey, Ollie. Listen, are you busy?"

I looked up as I heard Roy talking from the other room. He'd left his door open and Kal and I could hear everything he was saying.

"I heard, can you stop by here before you leave though—"

"No, I'm not hurt. I just need you to—No! Nothing's wrong it's just that Wally and Kaldur are here and—No they're not hurt either! Will you please just get over here?" I heard an angry growl come from Roy's throat. "_No_ you don't need to call Dinah, we just need to talk to you before the League meeting!"

"What? No! Okay, okay, fine! Ugh, I'll see you in a few."

A moment later Roy stalked back into the room.

"He's on his way," he grunted as he flopped onto the couch and grabbed a fistful of chips.

I leaned back in my chair and let my thoughts wander.

_Well, that was abrupt. I guess telling the League is best though. In fact that probably should have been my first idea. I mean, I didn't want to tell Bats because I didn't want him to tell my uncle, but if I'd really thought about it I would have realized that my uncle finding out was inevitable. _

I started as I came to a realization.

_So my aunt will find out regardless. I wish she didn't have to know._

I found myself wondering what my uncle would think too. Would he be as worried as me? Or would he have a solution already cooked up? How was he going to react to all this?

_Then again_, I thought. _Batman was working on this case so there's a chance that Uncle Barry and the League already know all about what I've discovered. Maybe my aunt and uncle have known the whole time and just haven't told _me_ what's going on. _

The idea embarrassed me. I would feel really stupid if I'd gone through all this panic and hassle just to find out that I was rushing to tell them something that they already knew. I flinched as I realized that they probably _did_, after all, wasn't Ollie watching that news story about it the night that I went to dinner?

"Wally."

I turned and saw Kaldur looking at me.

"Don't you like this brand of chips?" he asked in confusion.

I started and looked down at the table, then back at Kaldur's face. He seemed confused.

_Oh, right, food is up for grabs. I'm supposed to jump on that._

I grabbed a handful of chips, realizing suddenly that I _was _actually a little hungry, and started loading them up with dip and eating them.

The pace was a lot more civilized than was typical for me, but it was enough for Kaldur to convince himself that we weren't in some kind of odd parallel universe where I ate like a bird.

"So, Roy, how's the solo-act going?" I asked after a minute or two.

Roy started talking about some of the missions he'd been working on and describing his successes. There were enough gaps in his descriptions to make me realize that he was skipping all the parts that went wrong.

_That's Roy for you, proud as a lion, and about as cranky as one too. He'd never admit that striking out on his own was a lot harder than he'd originally imagined._

I let it go though and allowed Roy to continue talking as if his new life was the best thing since sliced bread, but I knew and I'm sure Kaldur did too that it wasn't what he'd been hoping for.

We were both listening to the end of one of his stories when there was a noise from near the window.

We all looked over as Green Arrow knocked and Kaldur stood up to let him in. The archer climbed in through the small opening with a little difficulty (I heard one of his joints pop) and shut the curtains.

"Hello boys," he said once he was done with his not-quite-graceful entrance. He smiled at us, though there was an unusual seriousness in his voice.

"Ollie," said Roy tensely.

"Mr. Queen," said Kaldur with a respectful nod.

I just waved.

"I've told you before that you can call me Ollie, Kaldur," said the archer kindly before grabbing a chair from Roy's tiny dining table and bringing it over to where we were all sitting.

He plopped it down across from all of us so he could see everyone and sat down.

"Now, what's going on?"

Roy and Kaldur looked at me, which caused Ollie to follow their lead.

I looked at the table to avoid the six sets of eyes and began re-telling my findings.

My second telling was a lot calmer and more concise than my first. My first time explaining it I had been a bit frantic and because of that I would end up rambling or repeating details unnecessarily. This description though was more refined and a lot more detached. I kept my tone robotic and down-to-business in a way that would have made Batman proud, and had explained to whole situation in far less time than it took me during my first rendition of the story.

Ollie sat in front of me, leaning forward slightly and nodding occasionally as I spoke. He didn't give away what he was thinking which made me wonder whether what I was saying to him was new or not. I hoped it was, I really didn't want all this urgency to relay the information to be for nothing.

When I was finally done talking Ollie gave me a smile.

"Thank you for telling me this, Wally. The League was aware of Queen Bee's plot against Qurac—"

I frowned, already feeling stupid.

"—but we thought the trafficking in the United States was just Cobra making a profit in more familiar territory. Our sources don't indicate anything the contrary, but if what you say is true we're going to have to do some digging."

I nodded, feeling a little better that I'd at least figured out _something_ useful.

If it were any other situation, I'd be probably even be proud of myself for catching something the League didn't. Just a few weeks ago, bringing crucial information about an international case to Ollie's attention would have made me feel so _important_, but now…

I didn't feel proud, or smart, I just felt numb. I'd gotten all geared up to tell people what was going on so they could help me brainstorm what to do but all I got was "let's call Ollie" and "Thanks, we'll do some digging." I guess it was naïve on my part to expect instant results, I mean, results are _never_ instant, but it didn't take away the feeling that I was being shoved aside so more important people could solve the problem.

I sighed very quietly.

I've had many moments since donning the costume where I was struck by the reality that putting on tights and fighting crime wasn't as fun and glamorous as I thought it would be when I was a kid. Because sometimes you _don't_ get the bad guy in time, and end up having to deal with the aftermath of their actions instead of foiling the preemptive planning. And sometimes you're not even allowed to do _that_, you just have to pass on information to others and hope for a miracle.

Ollie cleared his throat and when I looked up I realized that my silent brooding had made everyone else uncomfortable.

I smiled.

"Well, that's all I found. I'll let you know if I think of anything else."

Ollie nodded and stood up.

"Well, I better get to HQ for the meeting, be sure to go home soon. We don't want your aunt to worry," he said to me.

I nodded.

Ollie adjusted his quiver on his back and turned to go back out the window.

He paused just before he climbed through.

"My door is always open, if any of you are ever in the neighborhood," he said, glancing at Roy.

Roy didn't glare at the suggestion, which seemed to give Ollie hope because he flashed him a quick smile before leaping out into the night.

Roy got up to close the window and I stood up as well.

"I should go," I said quietly. "Thanks for everything guys."

Kaldur joined me on my feet.

"Don't forget, M'gann wants everyone to come to the cave in costumes for Halloween."

"What are you dressing up as then?" I asked with a chuckle.

"My King has some business he needs my help in attending to, so I will not be able to attend," he replied.

"And Robin will need to be in Gotham to help Batman handle their rogues," I said thoughtfully. "That's a bummer. Still, better than sitting around at home," I said with a shrug.

"M'gann will be pleased to hear you're coming," the older boy said with a smile.

I nodded just to humor him. I was pretty sure that the only person M'gann _really_ wanted to come along was a certain Kryptonian. Not that I'd ever let on of course, messing with him was way too much fun.

"Later guys, thanks for the chips, Roy," I said. The others said good-bye and I headed out the door.

. . . . . . . . . . . .

There was no one at the house when I arrived back, so I settled down on the guest bed to wait for my uncle. He'd probably want to yell at me for sneaking out, but I was willing to face it if I could get a heads up on what's going to happen with Cobra and Queen Bee.

I didn't feel all that tired, but apparently I was because one minute I was surfing the internet on my laptop, and the next I was opening my eyes to a dark room.

I had no sense of what time, or even what _day_ it was. A quick check on my phone told me that it was Friday, about an hour before my alarm was set to go off.

I groaned, wishing I could sleep longer, but my stomach started whining.

_Ugh, might as well get moving. _I thought.

I was feeling pretty sluggish so I didn't really think about the previous night until halfway through my shower.

_Oh, crap_. I thought as I rubbed shampoo into my hair. _Uncle Barry's going to kill me for going to Star City yesterday. _

With that cheerful thought I went downstairs, thinking that maybe if I made breakfast my uncle wouldn't be _quite_ so mad.

I whipped together a large pot of peanut butter banana oatmeal and some sausage just for simplicity's sake. I expected to end up eating alone, but my uncle must have smelled the cooking because he stumbled downstairs in a pair of sweatpants, half awake.

"Hey," I said, passing him some food.

He took it and walked to the table like a zombie before sitting down.

"Late night?" I asked, grabbing my own food and joining him.

_Small talk? Really?_

"The meeting for the League ran late, which is your fault by the way, then Gorilla Grodd attacked," he said tiredly.

"Sorry," I mumbled.

"Nah, Ollie told me what all you said and they a good observation. You still should have called though me about it though," he said giving me a look.

"I called Ollie," I said half-heartedly.

"Yea, well, you're not staying in Ollie's house right now, are you?"

"No," I mumbled.

Uncle Barry looked at me for a minute, trying to read my gaze.

"So why him?" he asked and I realized that he actually looked hurt.

"Huh?" I asked, not quite following.

"Well, last time it was Batman, which I get, given what your mom was saying—" He looked annoyed when he mentioned my mother. "—but why not come to me with this? Do you not trust me anymore?"

The question was blunt, and it made me feel really bad.

"After I figured everything out, Aunt Iris called and said that you were in a fight, so I went to talk to Roy, who thought we should contact a Leaguer who was available _before_ the meeting," I said.

My uncle frowned as he shoveled down his breakfast.

"You still could have called. I had a little time in between, I could have come home."

I shrugged.

My uncle sighed. "What's the other reason then?" he asked.

"There isn't one," I said, looking at my breakfast.

Uncle Barry looked at me sadly.

"A month ago you'd have called and left me a message with something like this, whether I was busy or not. So what's the other reason?"

I refrained from biting my lip, instead taking a bite of food.

_How to put this?_

"I didn't want Aunt Iris to know," I admitted.

"Why not?" asked my uncle.

I didn't say anything.

"You think it's her fault?" asked my uncle in a flat tone and I knew he was trying not to get annoyed.

I looked him in the eye, so he would know that I was being honest.

_Or at least I hope he'll know. I wonder how much he believes me anymore, with all these lies I keep telling…_

"Of course not. It's Queen Bees fault. I just know that if I were in her shoes, I'd feel like I was to blame, even if I wasn't. No one deserves to feel like that."

My considered this before something seemed to occur to him and he looked at me sympathetically.

"You're right, it isn't fair to blame people for things that aren't their fault."

I got the feeling he was referring to my mom, I mean why else would he say that? But he didn't mention her so I couldn't yell at him. Instead I just shrugged again, covering my anger.

"But your aunt's a grown woman, and she's a strong one too. You don't need to "protect" her from anything. In fact, I think she'd be insulted that you even tried."

I didn't know how to respond to that so I just kept quiet until my uncle continued.

"I feel like you've been doing that a lot lately, and really, Wally, you're not living in a world of china dolls. We want to be here for you, but if you keep treating everyone like they're fragile, it's not going to go over well. _You_ don't like it when people treat you like a baby, and yet that's how you're treating everyone else."

I chewed on these words, knowing they were important, but not quite able to take them in.

_You don't like it when people treat you like a baby. _The phrase rolled around my head until I felt it stick.

_Great, another thing that's gonna lodge itself in my subconscious and come back to bite me later. _I thought miserably

"Just think about it," My uncle told me before he got up to get seconds.

The silence didn't last too long before my uncle tried to fill it again.

"You know, I've been working so much overtime lately, the boss is letting me out early today. Did you want me to rent a movie or something from the store on the way home?" he asked, helping himself to more oatmeal.

I thought about it for a moment, when an idea struck me.

"Can we go see Dad?" I asked.

My uncle got a weird look on his face.

"Your Mom wants you to wait until he's a little better before you go to see him again," he said.

"What does Dad say?" I asked.

"I don't know," my uncle admitted, "but your mom—"

"Dad's sick. He needs to know I'm there to support him. I'm not just going to let him sit there until he gets better, besides he—"

I stopped suddenly.

_Besides he might not even get better._

I felt like I was being stabbed.

_Calm down, Queen Bee and Cobra surely have a cure._

"I guess one visit wouldn't hurt," my uncle said, clearly following my train of thought.

Nothing else was said until Aunt Iris came downstairs.

**(1) I got the idea for this while watching Mission Impossible 2. The idea of people trying to create a virus so they could make money off the cure gave me the idea to deepen the relevance of Crack Venom. Its relevance to the power struggle in Qurac came to me later on.**

**ALSO Please have patience with me on the whole Robin finding out issue, I wanted to put it in this chapter, but I couldn't do it without rushing the events that need to take place in between.**

***By the way, I have a ****message for those of you who saw the last of YJ Invasion**

**(Spoilers):**

**As far as I'm concerned, in the DC universe if there's no body, there's a good chance a character isn't dead. And sometimes even when there **_**is**_** a body a character isn't dead. Here are some examples from the series: The Failsafe exercise in season one and Artemis being "killed" by Aqualad in season two.**

**In other words: even if this is the end of the series the 'ending' isn't necessarily true or final given DC's lack of commitment when it comes to killing characters, especially speedsters. There's a good chance that Wally just got trapped in the speed force (hey, it happens). You can PM me for specifics if you want to know more about it.**


	21. Chapter 21: Teen Wolf

**This chapter was a pain in the foot for various reasons, but now I've got it out I hope you guys don't hate it. The shifts are a bit abrupt but I was trying to stick to the point so this wouldn't be too much of a filler chapter. Thanks for being such patient readers, I know my gaps in updating can be frustrating but I love those of you who stuck with me anyway. **

"Have you found out anything new about Qurac or Bialya?" I asked my uncle.

"No, kid, but I promise I'll tell you as soon as I do," said my uncle with a smile.

It was storming outside and my uncle and I were on the highway, heading towards Dad's treatment center.

I frowned, wondering if my uncle was telling the truth or if he was just brushing me off. Then again, I'd only shared my findings with the league last night. Things like this can take a lot of time, but still—

"So, I hear from Canary that M'gann invited you to a Halloween shindig," he said. "Do you have any ideas for costumes?"

"Shindig?" I snorted, as the old-manish-ness of my uncle's words hit me.

"Hey, it's better than _peachy_."

"You still won't ever prove a I said that."

My uncle smirked.

"You didn't answer my question."

"I was thinking about it but I don't have a costume—"

A thought occurred to me.

"Hang on, I'm still grounded, aren't I?" I asked, looking at my uncle.

"You can go, to the dance," said my uncle softly, "just, keep me posted on where you are. It gives me a gray hair every time I look for you and find that you're missing, and I'm too young for that. I'm not supposed to be a cane banging oldie for at _least_ another few decades."

"You're already a cane banging oldie," I said.

"Am not!" said my uncle, taking one hand off the wheel and whacking the back of my head, though there was no force behind it.

I flinched reflexively before rolling my eyes.

"Really? Then why do little kids always think you're Santa?"

"Because you look so much like a red-haired reindeer, Wallace _Rudolph_," quipped my uncle.

I rolled my eyes again, looking out the window as a bolt of lightning lit up the sky.

"How original," I said dryly.

"You started it," my uncle pointed out.

I sighed, though it was drowned out by thunder.

"You know, I do have a clown nose and a pair of antlers in my closet…"

"Shut up," I groaned.

"Just saying," he said.

I shook my head at the image of what _Artemis _would say if I showed up in a reindeer costume. She wouldn't get the reference, of course. My middle name wasn't something I advertised, but she would mock me just the same.

I traced some of the signatures on my cast as my thoughts wandered away from my blonde frienemy. I realized as I looked down at the sharpie drawn names that my mom and dad hadn't signed this one…

_Dad_.

I'd been waiting all day to see him and it was just a few minutes away now. I'd been looking forward to it all during school but at the same time I couldn't help but have my doubts. Would he be coherent like he was when I spoke with him the last time, or would he be really sick?

"So your sweet sixteen is coming up," said my uncle.

"I'm pretty sure the only people who call it a "sweet sixteen" are teenage girls and old ladies," I said, though the sarcasm didn't shine through as much as I meant it to as I was starting to chew my lip again.

"You're quick to stereotype today," said Uncle Barry, unfazed. "Anyway, your aunt wanted me to start going over some rules of the road with you, so you can practice."

"I already know how to drive," I said in exasperation.

"Pulling over runaway vehicles and chasing down thugs on a motorcycle does _not _make you qualified to drive in everyday situations. There's a lot of little rules they can nail your for on the driver's exam," said my uncle. "Look," he came to a stop sign.

"See how I came to a complete stop? If your wheels are rolling even a little they can get you for that, and there's the matter of parking too—"

"I know how to park," I said quietly.

"What?" asked my uncle.

"The moment dad found out that I needed to drive for—for the _job_. He took me out to the middle of nowhere and taught me the rules of the road. I'll probably need to practice a bit practically, but he's drilled me enough of the finer points into me that I know the state laws and the test rules."

"Oh," said my uncle in surprise. "That's great, kid, uh…well, after you get your permit just let me know when you wanna go over the practical stuff and I'll supervise, okay?"

I shrugged. I didn't really want to talk about my sixteenth birthday. I'd always thought it'd be my dad teaching me to drive (legally, this time) not my uncle. The coming of the "milestone" birthday would only make it all the more obvious that my parents _weren't there_.

_Don't worry about it_, I consoled myself. _Those so-called milestones mean nothing. I learned to drive when I was thirteen, sixteen for me is just another year. It's not a big deal._

My uncle got into the turn lane, waited until the two lanes of oncoming traffic were clear, and then headed onto the road that led to the treatment facility.

It was still pouring and we had to run inside, though we still got soaked.

The heat inside the building wasn't enough to shake the feel of the cold, autumn rain, and I shivered as we approached the front desk.

I tried not to look the receptionist in the eye because I recognized him as one of the people who saw me—for want of a less embarrassing way to put it—run out crying on my last visit.

"You're welcome to go see him, but Mr. West isn't having a very good day," he said quietly to my uncle. "He hasn't been very coherent."

My uncle glanced at me.

"Maybe we should come back another time?" he queried.

I shook my head.

I wanted to see my dad, and whatever they had to say wouldn't change that.

"Do you want me to come with you?"

I shook my head again.

The receptionist gave me the room number after he received a nod from Uncle Barry and I made my way down the hall, alone.

The place was like a hospital, only not quite as nice. The walls looked cheap and dreary and the floors, while spotless, had clearly seen better days. I could tell by the variations in décor that that they were trying to make the place more pleasant, but something—probably funds—was making it difficult.

I wound through the stark halls of the treatment center until I reached a room with three beds. A very sick, wretched looking man was laying in one nearest the door and I smiled at him before doing a double take and realizing that I was actually looking right at my dad, but I hadn't recognized him at first.

I felt sick to my stomach as I looked at the man who'd raised me. He'd lost a lot of weight and his face had no color. His eyes were glazed over and blood shot too. He looked like he was dying, to be honest, and I tried not to let that scare me too much.

"Hey, Dad," I said as I approached the bed.

Dad didn't reply.

I walked closer.

"Dad," I said, positioning myself so I was in his line of vision.

He didn't even blink, it was like he didn't see me.

He shivered and turned in his bed, scratching at his skin. I noticed then that there were a few cuts up and down his arms and that he was wearing soft gloves. I cringed at the realization that he'd been itching his skin off.

"Dad, It's Wally," I said, putting a hand on his arm. I was still a bit damp from the rain outside and my Dad blinked as some water rolled off my sleeve and onto his skin.

His eyes focused for a second.

"Medicine time?" he slurred, disoriented.

"No, Dad, it's me, your son," I said, feeling hurt.

Dad squinted at me as if trying to puzzle something out before his gaze relaxed and he seemed to drift away.

I took a breath.

"Dad?" I tried again.

No reaction.

I felt sad and disappointed. If this was how mom had seen him, then her attitude was a lot easier to understand in an odd sort of way. I mean, if she didn't get to talk to him then she didn't understand that he wanted to be here. Maybe if she could hear it from him instead of having to see him like…like this all the time then she wouldn't be so mad at me.

I shivered from emotion and cold and sat down on a plastic chair that was just as cold as I was. I felt the chill settle on me as I grabbed my dad's gloved hand.

"Um…so it's raining," I said awkwardly. I could think of nothing to do but make conversation, so I kept talking.

"Well, obviously, I'm soaked, stupid statement," I said laughing uneasily.

No response.

"Halloween is coming up," I said after a minute of silence.

"On Sunday there's this dance. I don't have a date yet, or a costume, come to think of it. What do you think I should be?"

Dad seemed to be trying to focus his gaze on me so I smiled and kept talking, excitedly.

"My one friend is really excited. She sent us a picture of her as a dead bride and asked if it was a good costume. And, um…My other friend, the one that likes to be called Jinx, is taking her little brother Trick-or-Treating. Seemore is going with them. He's crushing on her and I think she's starting to like him back."

I laughed at myself.

"I sound like a girl, talking about dresses and crushes, I'm surprised you're not on my back about it right now."

I looked at Dad hopefully, half expecting him to snap out of it and start making fun of me. He didn't even move.

"Well, anyway, Central's playing Gotham in football next week. We'll probably lose, because Gotham's more savage than usual, yet again our team is more organized so it might be close."

My eyes trailed around the room and landed on a television in the corner.

I swallowed.

"Maybe you should ask to watch it on television, it might be fun."

Dad gave a sudden jerk and I leaned in.

Is he waking up?

Dad gave another jerk and his monitors suddenly started making a piercing noise.

Dad's whole body started twitching and I realized, as a nurse came in, that he was having a seizure. My eyes widened as I watched my dad flail around unnaturally. A sound left his mouth that was somewhere between a shout and a groan.

"Time to go, son," said an older aid kindly, entering the room. She led me back to the lobby where my uncle was waiting.

"How'd it go kid?" asked my uncle when I entered the lobby.

I was speechless.

"Mr. West isn't doing very well today," the aid told my uncle.

"We'll come back another day then," said my uncle as he put a hand on my wet shoulder. "I'm sure he'll be feeling better soon."

I walked out of the building, back into the rain with my uncle and got in the car. I sat there and shivered from both the rain and nerves.

"Kid, what happened?" asked my uncle as he started the car and cranked the heat.

"Dad couldn't talk to me, he didn't really know I was there. I talked to him anyway, but then he had a seizure," I said, still stunned.

My uncle let out a breath.

It was quiet before he asked:

"What's on your mind?"

I tapped my hands against the car. I didn't want to talk about it because I knew I'd get upset.

"Don't do this, Wally, talk to me," my uncle ordered firmly, but compassionately.

I looked out the car window and said:

"What if he gets stuck like that? What if the seizures mess up his brain function and he can't talk to anyone anymore?" My teeth chattered as I finished the sentence and raindrops rolled down my face like tears.

Uncle Barry looked away when I glanced over at him and I realized by the look on his face that my fears were an actual possibility. I had the sudden urge to leap out of the car and start running as fast as I could until I was so far away no one would even know what Crack Venom was.

"If it helps," said my uncle, and his gentle tone was enough to help me slow my heart rate back down, "The aids said he called your mother's cell phone this morning. It was her first time hearing him when he was coherent, but that's not unusual. The doctors say he's actually doing very well, all things considered."

I frowned.

"Did Dad tell her he was happy to be in rehab?" I asked.

"I don't know," said my uncle. "Why?"

"Because if he did, then maybe Mom's not so mad at me."

"Your mom was never mad at you," said my uncle firmly, "she took her anger out on you, there's a difference."

I didn't like the blame in my uncle's voice and I gave him a look.

My uncle looked out at the parking lot and I thought he'd dropped the conversation until he said:

"You know, your mom texts Iris every night to make sure you're in bed, safe and sound."

"She does?" I asked, surprised.

My uncle nodded.

"She loves you so much, she's just been having a hard time."

I leaned against the icy window, dissecting this statement, as my uncle finally shifted the car into drive and left the facility.

I felt calmer once I dried off and changed clothes. My uncle put some water on to boil before he hopped into the shower so I went downstairs, when I heard the kettle whistle and fixed myself a cup of hot cocoa.

I brought it back to the guest room and sat on the bed, sipping it. The good thing about having speedsters in the family was that no one was anal about what rooms of the house you were allowed to eat or drink in, as long as you cleaned up after yourself.

I inhaled the steam from my mug and listened to the storm continue to rage outside.

I was worried about my family. What if Dad didn't make it, or what if he did but gained some sort of disability? Would he ever be okay again? And what about the conspiracy I'd uncovered? Had my findings been correct? Had the league taken me seriously? And what if they decided I was wrong about the reporter thing? Would I let that theory go, or would I still cling to it? I fretted my way through a cup of cocoa and a bag of chips, putting things in my mouth more to give myself something to chew other than my lip.

I was still pondering everything when my cellphone rang and I saw Dick's phone number flash across the screen. I was a little surprised at the call. I figured that Dick would drop off the map for the next few days. It _was_ Halloween weekend after all.

In Gotham, Halloween wasn't so much a holiday as a citywide disaster waiting to happen. Crime got so bad during that time that it was a more popular time of year to go on vacation and leave town than _Christmas_ and every officer in the Gotham PD was required to work at _least_ one shift that weekend no matter _how_ much seniority they had or how much vacation they'd saved up. Needless to say, it was an extremely busy time for Batman and Robin, so the fact that Robin was calling me, and not resting up for a long night's patrol concerned me.

"Hello?" I said, picking up at once.

"Dude! What level are you on?" I heard him ask. There was a shriek and an explosion in the background. I assumed by the tone of his voice that he was playing video games (and not dodging actual bullets).

"Umm, what?" I asked.

"Danger City IV, what level are you on?!" he said, as if it should be obvious.

_Danger City IV…_

"That's out?!" I yelped, now realizing what he was talking about.

The background noise died and I could tell Dick had paused his game.

"What do you mean "that's out?" You've been talking about this game for months!"

"Umm…" I froze up, unsure of what to say. "I just, forgot. I've been busy…"

"With _what_? Your parents are on a cruise, you're not dong extra-curriculars because of your arm, the team's not doing much of anything and last I checked you decided not to do the science club this year because the new captain's a jerk.

"I have a life outside of school and work, you know!" I said.

Dick snorted.

"Anyway, how's the game?" I asked, partly out of curiosity and partly to change the subject.

"It's better than Danger City II," he said.

"Woah! Nothing's better than DC II! Not even the original game! What's the game play like?"

"More plot this time, which is nice, and better weapons and graphics."

I nodded.

"Well, the graphics are a give in, but it's nice that they learned their lesson after the third game, it was cool but the interest factor went down pretty quick."

"This one's pretty re-playable," said Dick. "Apparently there are a few different endings and levels you can get to based on the way you play."

"Sweet," I said approvingly.

"So what have you been so busy with that you forgot about the best game of the _year_?" asked Dick casually.

"School and stuff," I said shortly.

"You're being evasive," he said and I noticed that he had yet to restart his game, meaning he was giving me his _full_ attention.

_Tell him._

_ No! It's Halloween weekend, he has enough to worry about._

I frowned in frustration.

"Can you just drop it?" I asked knowing any further excuses were pointless, but asking Dick to just let things go _might_ work, depending on his mood.

"Does this have anything to do with your friend?"

"What friend?" I asked, confused.

"The one whose blood you were running tests on a little while back."

_Oh! Right, crap…_

"He's fine," I said, uneasily.

"Are you sur—"

"So how's the game?" I asked. "How far into it are you?"

"Walls—" scolded my friend.

"Dick," I growled.

He sighed.

"Well, it's pretty intense. There's a bonus level in each segment of the game that you can only play if you get a high enough score during the regular game play. And once you unlock that level you can go back to it and play it again."

"Cool!" I said, pretending to care.

"Yep, it's pretty sweet," said Dick, and I noticed the sarcastic undertone in his voice.

I swallowed and continued the conversation. The tense semblance of casual chatter lasted just a few minutes before Dick said he had to leave. I hung up, feeling a bit sick.

_Don't worry about it, Wally, just don't. _I told myself firmly.

_Don't, Don't, Don't._

There was a knock on my door.

"Hey, Wally, I just rented a movie, you want to watch it with me?" I heard Uncle Barry ask through the door.

"Sure," I said tonelessly, getting up.

. . . . . . . . . . . .

The night was quiet, and an uneasy peace had settled on me as I sat there, mindlessly watching movies with my aunt and uncle. All was quiet until the doorbell rang.

"Wally, can you get that?" asked my uncle, who was in the kitchen fixing a snack.

"Sure," I said.

I walked over to the door and pulled the handle. I was surprised to see my mom standing there.

"Hi," I said, glancing at her appearance. She looked tired, and bewildered. She was holding a plastic bag in one poorly manicured hand and her purse in the other.

"Hey, sweetie," she said and I smelled cigarette smoke on her breath. I felt disappointment fill me. It was no secret that my mom had been a heavy smoker once upon a time, but she'd quit for good when she became pregnant with me. I suppose she'd picked up the habit again.

"I went to see your dad today," she said before smiling. "He was coherent, for a change."

I cracked a grin and I couldn't help but hug her.

"That's great, mom," I said, feeling relieved.

She hugged be back with difficulty, because of the bags, and let go quickly.

I stepped back and put distance between the two of us as my aunt came up behind me.

"Oh! Hi, Mary," said Aunt Iris with a smile. "Come in!"

"I can't stay," she said. "I have some errands I need to run. I got an offer for the house," she said.

"Already?!" exclaimed my aunt.

"Yeah," said my mom, looking both relieved and devastated. "Apparently our neighborhood is a hot market right now," she shrugged and I felt sadness washed over me. I'd known this was coming, but this made it _permanent_. There was no going back now, my house, my _home_ was gone. It was probably going to be sold off to a couple yuppie newly weds with no history and no taste. They would taint the place with their decorations and paint colors until it was no longer mine and my parents' anymore, but someone else's. The thought made me sick, but I didn't let it show, I couldn't.

"Anyway, I needed to drop this off for Wally," said my mom unevenly, as she handed me a bag.

"It's a your Dad's old Teen Wolf costume. For some reason your father kept insisting that you needed it. He couldn't tell me why, but he made me promise I'd bring it to you," she said, shrugging helplessly.

My breath froze and my heart paused for just a moment.

"I—uh—went to visit him today," I muttered. "He wasn't very with it, so I just kind of talked. I mentioned that—that I didn't have a Halloween costume." I swallowed. "I guess it sunk it."

My mom pursed her lips the way she did whenever she was thinking hard.

"That's a really good sign," said my aunt, optimistically.

My mom smiled in a way that looked like she was trying not to cry and she nodded.

"It is," she said in a low voice.

She took a deep breath.

"Be sure to take pictures of Wally in the costume," she said to my aunt.

"Absolutely!" said my aunt.

"I'd better go, bye baby," she said glancing my way. I prepared for a hug or kiss, just because it was pure habit, but she just waved. I waved back, feeling both happy and hollow. I glanced down at the plastic bag and wandered back inside.

. . . . . . . . . . . .

_Third wheel._ That was the only thought running through my mind as I stood awkwardly in the gymnasium as M'gann and Connor danced together. When I say danced together, I mean M'gann mimicked the girls around her and tried to draw Connor in. Connor himself was awkwardly shuffling from side to side and moving his fists up and down like he was from 1960. He looked constipated, and this all would have been hilarious if only I'd had someone to laugh with (sorry Con…) but that wasn't the case.

I'd known Robin and Kaldur weren't coming, but Zatanna and Artemis had bailed at the last minute for some weird reason. This meant that I was now stuck as a third wheel on some cheesy date.

I rolled my eyes as I resisted the urge to scratch my face. Dad's old costume was in pretty good shape, but the fake fur and face paint was itching like crazy.

I stared boredly at the flashing lights and other teens dancing as superheroes. It was a little ironic, by trying _not_ to reveal our secret identities by dressing up as anything remotely hero related, M'gann, Connor, and I stood out all the more. I shrugged, deciding not to worry about it. Most of the people here weren't giving us a second glance. Another reason this party was boring.

"Hi, Wally, right?" asked a girl.

I turned and saw a beautiful girl with black hair and vibrant blue eyes that shimmered in the light.

"Yea," I said, managing a flirty grin.

"I'm Wendy, one of Megan's friends. I was just wondering where you got that costume," she said.

"It's just something my dad had lying around," I told her.

_She's cute; maybe I should ask her to dance…_I thought, perking up at the thought of this night having an up side.

"Bummer," said Wendy looking disappointed. "I wanted to go as Bella from Twilight, and have my boyfriend go as Jacob—but a more werewolf-y Jacob. Only he literally could _not_ find a costume. Oh well, maybe next year," she said.

I nodded blankly. I had mostly tuned out at the words "boyfriend" and "Twilight." To be fair, I haven't actually _read_ the books, but seeing some girl sobbing over the final novel made me decide that I just _didn't_ want to know.

Suddenly the song on the speaker changed to "Gotham Sirens," and Megan, Wendy, and half the cheer leading team all squealed in unison.

"GIRLS' DANCE!" Hollered Wendy.

Just like that all the women in the room seemed to form a giant circle and a befuddled Connor was shoved aside.

He came and stood next to me.

"So…was that some sort of, rescue mission?" asked Connor.

"Umm, what?" I asked.

Connor turned to me, looking worried.

"On those shows M'gann watches—when a boy is annoying a girl, the girl's friends rush in to separate them. Usually it's more elaborate but—" he trailed off. "Was I dancing poorly?"

"Yes," I said bluntly. Connor slumped and I chuckled.

"Cheer up, dude, that's not why she stopped dancing with you." I told him, giving him a light shove. It was like pushing a brick wall and he didn't move an inch.

"Girls are kind of weird," I persisted, "there's some songs they want to dance to with their boyfriends and some songs they want to dance to with their friends. The ladies in this gym have deemed this song a "Girls song" and it's an unwritten rule that they should dance with other girls during it. M'gann will drag you over to dance with her again shortly," I said.

"If the rule is unwritten, how do they all know which songs to dance with their friends and which not to?" asked Connor in confusion. "These songs all sound the same to me."

"Heck if I know," I said with a snort. "You've about tapped out my knowledge of women for the night."

"And all this time you've claimed to be an expert," said Connor with a smirk.

"Dude, I'm like a magic 8 ball. I know all, but there's only so much info I can give you before I have to tell you to ask again later," I said smoothly.

"What does that even mean?" asked Connor.

"Ask again later," I quipped.

Connor gave me an odd look and walked away to get some punch.

I sighed, disappointed at the reaction. Robin would have teased me right back and we'd have spent half an hour trying to one-up one another. Heck, I'd even settle for bickering with Artemis to standing alone at a dance like a middle school student.

_This is why you never go stag, Wally. _I told myself as I watched M'gann and Wendy dancing. _All the pretty girls have dates._

I perked up significantly when Marvin or Melvin—whatever his name was—started kicking up a fuss about aliens. I wasn't all that concerned, it was just kind of amusing to watch him rant about aliens being among us when there were _two_ of them dancing together amongst all the humans. Things got better from there, we discovered his prank and turned it around on him, which was probably the most exciting event of the night. The only downside was when everyone got over what had happened and began dancing again. I looked over at Connor and M'gann, who so engrossed in giving each other disgustingly lovey looks that they were completely unaware of my presence.

_I am so out of here,_ I decided.

I left the gymnasium and started heading back to the cave. The good thing about being in such a small town, was that it was easy to find an area with woods thick enough to run through without being seen. I sprinted back and entered Mount Justice.

The computer announced my presence to the empty cave and I checked the clock. It was ten o'clock, the dance should just be ending. I shot M'gann a quick text to let her know I'd left early so she wouldn't look for me, and headed off to shower. I couldn't take this itchy costume anymore.

I wasn't worried about getting back to my aunt and uncle's. Uncle Barry gave me permission to spend the night at the cave so long as I made it to school on time the next morning. Normally he probably wouldn't have made this allowance but I'd "behaved myself" enough in their eyes on Saturday (I hid in my room while pretending to study) to have earned some leeway for the holiday. Really, this "grounding" of theirs was a bit of a joke.

I lost track of time, showering, eating and watching television, that I was shocked when Connor walked in and I realized that it was midnight.

"Dude, where'd you go?" I asked.

"We all went to get food at a diner," said Connor.

"It took you _two hours_?" I asked.

Connor grunted, producing his "I am _done_ dealing with people today" face and sitting onto the couch.

"Are you really watching this?" he asked, raising an eyebrow at the home improvement commercial.

"Nah, go ahead," I said handing him the remote.

Superboy took it immediately switched the television to static.

He breathed heavily through his nose, and closed his eyes as he leaned his head back against the couch.

"Where's M'gann?" I asked.

"She went to Wendy's house for a sleepover," he grumbled, his eyes shut tight.

"You okay?" I asked, amused.

"My head hurts," he stated blandly. He cracked open an eye. "The music at the dance was loud, but having all those girls in the same car was somehow …_louder._"

I shook my head, glad I'd left when I did. Even though it _did_ mean I'd missed out on diner food.

I yawned.

"I should go to bed. Don't stay up to late watching this, Supes. I'm _sure_ there will be reruns," I said sarcastically as I stood up.

I put away the dishes I'd used, and wandered to my room.

My room in the cave was like a cross between my room at home, or ex-home…and the guest room at my aunt and uncle's. There were a few posters on the walls and I had some things lying around but it was still pretty sparse. I climbed into my bed. The mattress wasn't superb, in fact it was probably the same kind that they used in dorm rooms at colleges, but it wasn't lumpy and old like the one at my ex-home, so that was nice.

I curled up under the blankets, some of which were provided others I'd brought from ho—I mean, ex-home, and went to sleep.

. . . . . . . . . . . .

I'm usually good about being woken up unexpectedly. It's a necessary trait in my line of work. There were times that I really struggled though. That night was one of them. I'd been woken from the deepest part of my sleep cycle by a light shining in my face. I bolted up in bed, unsure of where I was. I saw that the door to my room was open and light was streaming in from the hallway. A figure stood in the doorway but I recognized the silhouette. My subconscious instantly shut down my panic response and tried to reach for sleep again before I was fully aware of what was happening.

"KF," the figure said.

"Rob?" I slurred. "What's wrong?"

"I wanted to talk to you," said the boy and though I was still half-asleep, I knew something was really not right.

I got out of bed, swaying dizzily and staggered over to the lights, flipping them on.

I blinked hard as my eyes adjusted and I looked over my friend with concern.

He didn't look right. I was too tired to truly observe him but something was off.

"Are you okay?" I asked, groggily, my anxious mind fighting my fatigued body.

"Yea, calm down, KF," said Robin. He was gentle, but his voice was still tense.

_Get him off his feet, _my brain told me. _He might be hurt. _

"Sit down," I told him, gesturing him towards the bed.

He sat and I closed the door and flopped down next to him.

I looked at him more closely this time. He was in his civvies, and his hair was wet, like he'd just showered. I could see that his skin was pale and there were dark circles peeking out from under his sunglasses. He didn't seem to be in physical pain, but he was upset, really upset, though I couldn't tell why.

"What happened?" I asked, watching him with concern, still struggling to keep my eyes open. My mind put together the fact that last night was Halloween. Had something happened on patrol?  
>"I've been wanting to talk to you since yesterday," said Robin, "but every time I wanted to come see you, someone would pull a stunt and Bats and I would have to go and deal with it."<p>

There was exhaustion in his tone that gave me pause.

"Dude, when's the last time you slept?"

"That's not important," mumbled Robin, urgently.

I shut my mouth, studying him.

Things were silent.

"Was it patrol, Rob?" I asked gently.

He huffed angrily. "No, it _wasn't _patrol," he said.

"Okay," I said patiently. "Then what's the matter?"

"Gee, maybe you should tell _me_," said Robin in frustration.

"Wait, what?" I asked, not comprehending what he was saying.

Robin took a deep breath.

"Wally," he said tiredly. "I know."

"_What?"_ I asked again, with more emphasis this time.

"Friday," said Robin. His voice lost it's agitated edge and gaining a sad, gentle quality that freaked me out.

"I thought maybe something had happened to your friend, so I looked him up."

I blinked, then the realization set in and my heart dropped.

_He knows. _

"There are no students in your school that have been put in rehab. In fact, on the list of ninety patients that have been admitted into rehab centers in the Central City area over the past few weeks, only two were high school sophomores and they were in a completely different district.

I said nothing, I only took a silent breath and stared at the wall.

"So I widened the search parameters…"

Dick trailed off and silence fell until I looked up. He watched me analytically, his eyes meeting mine.

"Your parents aren't on a cruise."

The words were like a punch to the gut as my lie went up in smoke. My emotions _flew_ and it took all the willpower in my exhausted brain to keep my face blank and steady. I looked back at the wall.

"I'm _so _sorry," said Dick, softly.

The tone of the words startled me. I'd expected anger, the kind he'd had when he first came in, but I was getting sympathy instead. This made me even more uncomfortable than before, so naturally my first reaction was to look for an escape route.

"Look, can we not do this right now? I have school in—" I glanced at the clock "—like three hours."

"Really, Wally?" asked Robin, unimpressed.

"I _don't _want to talk about this right now," I told him firmly.

"More like you don't want to talk about this _ever_. You'd much rather sit around and _lie_ to someone who _trusted_ you."

The past tense on "trust" was like a slap in the face. To anyone else, it might have been a trivial comment. With Robin, trust was _everything_ as there were so few people he could give it to. This was _serious, _and I knew what it meant.

_It's over, _I thought, hanging my head in sorrow. _We aren't friends any more._

The quiet filling the air was tense, but breaking it was worse.

"Well," I said quietly. "I think I'll go back to my Uncle's house. It's quieter there anyway."

I stood up and grabbed my clothes.

"So, what, you're just going to ignore me because I want you to talk about the truth?" demanded Robin, his frustration overruling his compassion. "Are you trying to pretend nothing's wrong, like you did in that stupid simulation—"

Robin cut himself off, knowing he'd crossed a line.

He went tense and waited for me to say something.

I turned slowly and looked him right in the eye.

"I am so_ tired_," I said in a low voice, "of people saying that kind of crap to me because they feel that _they_ have a right to know, first hand, what's going on." I breathed out through my nose and shook my head. "You want information? Talk to Batman. I'm done discussing this with you."

I left the room and walked straight to the zeta tubes.


	22. Chapter 22: Insanity

**This chapter SERIOUSLY diverges from cannon YJ. I'll explain why in the author's notes at the bottom.(1) I know they're long but they're super RELEVENT to the story. **

They say that there's always some kind of sign of a coming storm. Upset animals, dark skies, even premonitions if you're of the psychic persuasion. Maybe I'm just unobservant, but in the days before the incident, I saw nothing. My world was still as topsy-turvy as ever, especially since Robin and I hadn't spoken since our fight, but nothing occurred that was ominous enough to indicate what was to come.

It happened on a weekend. I was due at the cave and help out with some tasks but I wanted to visit dad first. Uncle Barry drove me and waited in the lobby like he had last time while I walked down the bleak hallways that led to his room.

I didn't waste time, as Uncle Barry had things to do that day, I just sat down next to my father's bed and looked at him to try and gauge his awareness. It wasn't looking good.

"Hey dad," I said, holding his cold hand between my two warm ones.

Dad stirred a bit, his eyes open but his gaze vague and I smiled.

"I got the costume you had mom bring; it was perfect. I just wanted to come by and thank you." I paused, waiting for a reaction. I didn't really expect one but I couldn't help but hope.

_It's no use, he's too far gone, _sneered my crueler side. I brushed it off and continued to speak.

"You know, things are going really well for me. I umm…am doing well in English," I said with manufactured cheer.

Dad didn't react at all.

_Told you._

_Shut up._

I sighed, breathing in the smell of _hospital_. I'd always hated that smell; I had no idea how dad could stand it.

"Okay, fine, I guess things could be better," I admitted, the fake happiness having worn too thin. "I mean, all things considered everything is good…Aside from the fact that best friend is really mad at me and I keep fighting with Aunt Iris and uncle Barry.

Mom managed to sell the house though at least, and she's working towards getting a new certification for work. It's just—I'm not living with her. She can't afford me, which makes sense but she acts like she's angry at me whenever she sees me—sorry, I shouldn't be telling you this. You need to hear about positive things. Um, let's see."

I dug deep, looking for _something_ cheerful to tell him. It was hard in this depressing ward. I'd brought him a card and some balloons to liven the place up but it was like putting shiny bells and whistles on a rusty old bicycle. It didn't really fix the image, it just added something pretty to it.

"Oh! I might be transferring schools. I want to try and graduate highschool early and I have it worked out so I can switch to a school that will allow that. My advisor says I'm getting close to the point where I can apply, but they need mom to sign off on it. I'll have to get her on board somehow. She won't mind, right? You two were always going on about how I should take my education more seriously."

I paused in my monologue to watch my dad. His eyes were still open and his gaze was still unfocused.

I chuckled bitterly.

"It's funny. We haven't talked in months, not really, and now I'm telling you more than I've told you in forever and I'm not even sure if you can hear me."

I wanted to kick myself for speaking such a harsh thought and frowned guiltily.

"Sorry, I didn't mean it like that, it's just…we've _both_ been so busy. Our schedules just haven't lined up, but that's no excuse. I should have _made_ time. I mean, gosh, I spend so much time around people who don't even _have_ parents and I still blow mine off? I guess I'm a bit narrow-sighted, huh?"

I scuffed my toes against the ground, clutching my dad's hand.

"You'd probably tell me not to be so down on myself or something. You're cool like that."

I paused again, trying to figure out what I should say.

"Remember that time when mom wouldn't sign up for tee-ball and you signed me up anyway? And how you supported me when everyone else didn't want me involved in my—my extracurriculars? You've always believed in me. Even though you tell me I have my head in the clouds and all that, you always knew I could do _better, _which is why you've always pushed me so hard. At least, I _think _that's why."

I looked at my dad seriously.

"It kinda sucks that I can't ask you. You need to hurry up and get better, okay? I miss having you around."

Dad didn't reply, and I was out of words. I sat there for about twenty minutes, wishing he would look at me before I finally gave up.

"I have to go now. Bye, dad."

I let go of his rough, clammy hand and stood up, shoving my hands in my pockets as I walked away.

My sneakered feet moved squeakily across the tiled floor I turned to look at my dad one last time only to see him vanish, _literally_ vanish before my eyes.

"Dad?!" I asked my eyes widening as I ran over to his bed.

Four heart monitors flat lined simultaneously and looked around the room and realized that _all_ the patients had vanished. My heart thumped in my chest. What was this? Was this a new side effect of the venom? I felt the bed to make sure my dad hadn't just gone invisible, but no. He was gone. I heard loud screeches and crashes coming from outside and I turned and ran to the lobby.

I sprinted into the waiting room but it was empty. _Completely_ empty. There was no receptionist, no visitors, _no one_.

"Uncle Barry?!" I yelled. When nothing happened I pulled out my phone and tried to call him, but it just rang and rang with no response.

I looked around the rehab center. Where _was_ everyone?

I ran back through the halls, opening random doors but _no one_ was there. No doctor, no nurses, no patients, and no visitors. The place was _empty_.

I took a shaky breath and rushed out to the parking lot and waited by the car, pulling out my communicator I sent and emergency transmission to the cave.

"Anyone there?" I asked anxiously.

"Robin, here," I heard my friend say.

"Robin, you need to call Batman. Everyone in the rehab center just _disappeared_!I don't know what happened, and I can't get a hold of Flash."

"It's not just you, the same thing happened here in the cave with Zatara, Batman, and Red Tornado."

"Are you serious?" I asked, shocked.

Suddenly I heard screaming coming from the highway.

I rushed over to the road and gasped when I realized where the screeching I'd heard earlier had come from. _Every_ car on the highway had crashed. Some were piled up in a large hunk of metal, others were trapped in ditches, and still others were smashed against the guardrails across the road.

"Rob," I chocked as I found the source of the screaming. A girl around my age had stumbled out of the wreckage and was covered in blood.

"It's everyone. All the cars on the highways…the driver's vanished. There's a girl though…my age. I think—I think it's only _some_ people that are vanishing.

"You need to get to the cave," said Robin.

"No," I said firmly. "I need to stay in Central. There's people dying on the highway right now…Robin, it's bad. I have to stay."

"Understood," said Robin, "we'll keep in touch, try to set up a shelter for the kids, we'll do the same here."

I smashed out the window of my uncle's car without hesitation and broke in. The alarm blared and I quickly hotwired it to silence it and get the gears moving.

The engine sprang to life under my prying hands and I took a second to throw on the spare goggles I kept in my backpack. There was a spare jacket of my uncle's lying in the back as well so I took it and put it on. The disguise was poor, but it would have to do. I drove as best as I could out of the parking lot and onto the highway. It was nearly impossible to make it through the wreckage. I had to alternate between driving on the road's shoulder and going between cars, careful to avoid runaway wheels and shards of metal. Running would have been faster but I could tell at once that this girl needed a hospital.

I stopped the car by the bloody girl, got out, and ran to her.

"Are you okay?!" I asked, going to her. There was glass on her face and she was slumped on her side.

"Where's my mom?" she whimpered.

"I don't know. Was there anyone else in the car with you?"

"My sister," said the girl tearfully.

I went pale and peered into the back seat of the car. There was a five year old, strapped to a car seat with glass in her face. Blood was pouring down her chubby little cheeks and I felt fear grip me. I leaped into the car and checked for a pulse, on to the girl. I held my breath as I waited for a sign of life, only breathing when I felt one. I wrenched the car seat out of the car, girl and all, and set it gently on the road. The child didn't stir.

"How old are you?" I asked the older girl.

"Fifteen," she said, gasping in pain. "Will she be alright?"

"She's breathing," I told her. "I think she'll be fine. We need to keep her in the car seat until she wakes up though, I don't know if she's injured or not."

The girl nodded, still crying.

"Where are you hurt?" I asked, taking a look at her. Blood was pouring from her face and she was shaking.

"My—my arm."

I looked down at it and saw that it had a funny bend to it. I grimaced.

"Anywhere else?" I asked.

She shook her head.

I was about to give her further instructions when a pickup truck came towards us, the driver rolling the window down as she approached.

"Are you guys okay?" asked a girl who was just a hair older than me. Her car had a huge dent in it but it looked fine otherwise.

"These two are hurt. Did you call 911?"

"They won't pick up!" said Linda frantically.

I frowned. That was _never _a good sign.

"Can you take them to the hospital then?" I asked.

"Of course!" said the girl, "but, what's going on?!"

"I don't know. All the drivers just vanished."

The girl looked scared and confused but she set her jaw.

"Alright, get in the car."

"Actually, can you help these two get in? I want to see if there's anyone else you can take with you."

The girl nodded and got out to help the two by the roadside.

"Don't take the little kid out of the car seat, she might be injured and we don't want to jostle her."

I got another nod and I used my superspeed to run up the road. I checked through windows for signs of life and my heart skipped a beat when I saw a crunched up minivan. There were no adults in the car, just three children in the back seats. I tried to open the door, but I couldn't so I ran to the passenger side and smashed a window, crawling into the vehicle. I almost threw up at what I saw. There was a boy who looked to be around nine years old. He was wearing a Batman tee-shirt that was soaked with blood. I chocked back a sob as I checked his pulse. I knew it was no use though, it was obvious just by looking at him that his neck was broken.

A tear slipped down my cheek as I moved onto a toddler. The child's lips were blue and there was no pulse on her either. With trembling hands I moved onto the third child, a little preschool boy with a stuffed rabbit tucked under the seatbelt next to him. I knew before I checked that it was a lost cause because the boy's eyes were as glassy and blank as the toy's. I had to try though.

My fingers met, liefeless, flesh and I couldn't help but scream at the injustice of it all. My shoulders shook twice with anguish before I stifled my cries. I had to keep moving, no matter how much it hurt I had to focus on who was _alive_. There were civilians who needed me.

I said a prayer of thanks as I passed by three empty cars but my heart fell out of my chest when I found another car with a child in it. I wrenched open the door and almost wept with joy when I saw two twin boys around Robin's age who was knocked out, but _breathing. _

I rushed back to the pickup truck in super speed.

"You're Kid Flash?" asked the driver in shock.

"Yeah," I said excitedly. "And I just found two survivors, we need to be careful about how we move them so I'll need your help…uh?"

"Linda," said the girl. "Linda Parks."

"Come on then, Linda, let's go." I rushed on ahead and led her to where the boys were. I quickly taught her how to properly transfer injured people and the two of us carefully maneuvered the kids out of the car and into the back of her pickup truck.

There was still room for more so I charged down the road again. I found four cars that were completely empty and then one with a baby. The child was wailing his lungs out and I grinned in relief.

"Hey, baby," I said, gently removing the infant from the car seat and cradling him in my arms. "I've got you." The baby's cries quieted, but he was still whimpering softly.

I went carefully back to where Linda was waiting and all at once my mind made the connection.

"Linda!" I called. The girl rushed over and looked down at the baby anxiously.

"How old are you?" I asked sharply.

"Seventeen," she said, "is that baby okay?"

"I think the baby should be fine, don't jostle him too much just in case though.

"I won't," said Linda, gently taking the baby from my arms.

"Listen, Linda, I think I've figured out what happened."

"What?" she asked.

"Every car I've been in has had _children_ and _teens_ in it but I can't find any adults anywhere."

"So all the adult on the highway just disappeared?" she asked, looking scared.

"It's not just here. I got a call from a friend and apparently it's _everywhere._"

"Everywhere?!" Linda shrieked and the baby began to cry again.

"Shhh, it's okay," she whispered, still clearly panicked.

"It looks like it," I said grimly.

"Then—then how are we supposed to help the injured?" she asked.

"Just do the best you can," I said.

"But—but what if they need surgery."

I looked at her seriously.

"Linda, listen to me. There—there's a likelihood that some of the kids will die, some of them are already dead."

Linda's breath hitched.

"I'm so sorry, but it's true. I've seen ten dead kids already, if any of the survivors you rescue die, you need to be brave and do what you can to keep the others alive."

The girl nodded tearfully.

"I'm going to check for more survivors. Take care of the others."

I ran back and searched through more cars. I found a boy my age who was sobbing over his dead friend and it took both me and Linda to get him into the pick up truck. We found a preteen boy next. I could tell by the way he acted that he wasn't thinking clearly.

"I'm hungry. We were supposed to be stopping to get something to eat, but then the lights came and now there's no one to drive," he babbled.

"My brothers sleep through the whole thing of course."

His speech was slurred and her eyes weren't in focus. I wondered if he'd suffered from head trauma.

"You need to come with us," I told the boy. "Can you get out of the car?"

He stumbled, but succeeded and I supported him to the truck.

"What about my brothers?" he asked

"They—they're not doing well," Linda lied. "The ambulance will come and get them, but you need to come with us."

"Mom always says I have to watch them when she and Dad aren't around," he insisted. "I can't leave. They might run out into the street." Linda and I looked at each other.

"We'll take them with us then," she said, choking on her tears. With trembling hands the pair of us picked up the limp corpses of the boy's siblings and loaded them into the truck. Satisfied, the boy climbed in after them, and held each of their hands.

"Don't worry, Derek, we'll get you a Band-Aid for that cut on your neck. You can have one too, Jake. You're covered in blood. Have you been picking your scabs again?"

Linda put a hand to her mouth as tears ran down her face.

I put a hand on her sholder

"I think that's about all your truck can fit. Go to clinic down the road and start treating the injured. Send any able bodied kids you have to the apartment complex near there to find more children. Call all of your friends and tell them to do the same. We need as many people in on this as possible."

I squeezed her shoulder once before letting go.

"Now go, you can do this."

The girl hugged me briefly and whispered in my ear, her voice wavering.

"Whoever did this—I know you heroes have a rule against this sort of thing but please, if you find who did this you _kill_ them."

I patted her back grimly.

I would _find_ who did this and make them reverse it. As for killing them? I felt a dark hatred fill my heart as I thought of the angelic faces, cold with death and the missing parents that were bound to be _screaming_ with agony when they realized what had happened.

_We'll see._

"I will find who did this," I growled. "Be brave. Save the kids."

She left and I called Seemore the second the kids could no longer hear me.

When he picked up there was panic in his voice.

"Wally!" I'm freaking out! My parents just disappeared and four cars just crashed outside but there's no one in them, but there's this kid who is hurt and I can't get a hold of 911!"

"Seemore," I said firmly. "Calm down. All the adults have vanished. This is a massive crisis so you need to step up. I need you to call everyone you know, everyone in your phone list who isn't an adult. Tell them to start gathering up the kids in their neighborhoods keep everyone together and take care of them. Get everyone who can drive to go around the city and pick up all the kids they can. Do you understand?"

"Yes, but…where will we put all the kids?"

"Take them to hospitals, schools, gymnasiums, anywhere safe and warm. Can you do that?"

"Y—Yes," said Seemore, his voice growing strong.

"Good. Call Jinx and everyone else you can think of get them on board. We need all the help we can get."

"What about you?" asked Seemore.

"I'm on the highway," I gulped. "It's—it's not pretty, there are dead kids everywhere."

"No," Seemore gasped.

"This," I swallowed. "This is bad. Seemore, and from what I can tell it's happening everywhere. We need to stay strong and save everyone we can. It's too late for a lot of children, but there are so many more that are _alive_ and need our help. We need to save them. Can you help me, Seemore?"

"I will do _everything_ in my power to help, Wally."

"Good. Get going, I have more kids to round up."

I hung up before frowning down at my phone. Who _knew _how long the phones and power would last. Even if Seemore did get in a few calls there was no way to guarantee that all—or even _some _of the kids in this city would be on the same page, never mind the rest of the affected area.

I racked my brains before I came to a conclusion.

I sprinted to the zeta beam and went straight into the cave, trying not to think of all the innocents I was leaving behind. I had no choice though I couldn't save everyone myself, I needed backup.

"KF!" Robin said.

"We need to send out a coordinated message to all the kids," I said, skidding to a halt in front of the boy.

"Your timing's perfect, Kaldur and I were just about to send out a transmission. Suit up."

I zipped to my room and threw on my costume before zipping back.

"What's the scale of this disaster?" I asked right before we started the transmission.

"World wide," said Robin.

I felt dread fill me and I tried hard to focus as we gave the transmission. Every moment we spent in the cave was a moment we weren't rescuing children, but this was important. I couldn't do this all myself, heck _the team_ couldn't do it all themselves. This…this was massive. If we wanted to maximize rescues we had to get as many people on board as possible. I spoke with conviction, letting the people know the gravity of the situation, though I didn't get too grim. If I told them what the _real_ situation was there would be panic.

As soon as we ended the transmission I looked to Robin and Kaldur.

"Status."

"Not good. There's adults missing all over the planet, planes are falling out of the sky left and right, major traffic accidents have caused more deaths than we can even hope to estimate, and massive fires are breaking out all over the world from all the adults who were using stoves when they vanished. With no firemen around they're spreading like crazy, entire city streets are being destroyed as we speak," said Robin. "Zatanna is working on a locator spell to find the source of this insanity, but…" he shook his head.

My stomach clenched with horror.

"If all that is going on why are we all staning around _here_?!" I cried.

"_Think_, Kid," said Robin. "We can't possibly handle _every_ castastrophe. Artemis, M'gann, and Superboy are doing the best they can helping out in the community but we need to focus on getting the adults back."

I took a breath, "I know, I'm sorry I just—"

"I know," said Robin quietly.

My eyes narrowed.

"Do we have any idea who is responsible?"

"Zatanna says it would have to be magic at a level that's completely off the scale. Only a ridiculously powerful sorcerer, or more likely _group_ of sorcerers could do this."

_Magic. Why is it always magic? Man. I think…I think we might need Fate._

Robin's gauntlet beeped and the moment he looked down his face went pale.

"What happened?" I asked urgently.

"A—A plane crashed into a nuclear power plant in Alabama. It's bad."

"Mushroom cloud bad?" I whispered.

"Yes," said the boy.

I set my jaw as a sickening clarity filled me and in that instant I realized what had to be done.

"So what are we doing?" I asked trying to keep my cool despite the fact that blood was being shoved through my veins by my frantic heart, which begged me to reconsider.

Kaldur stepped forward, his face blank, like a soldier's.

"In the case of a nuclear explosion there is not much we _can _do. The rest of the team is out helping rescue children in Happy Harbor, you may return to Central to lead rescue relief there until we figure out the source of all this."

"Noted," I said with a nod. "I'm going to grab something from my room then I'll be off again."

I turned and sprinted to the trophy room afraid that if Robin saw my face he would _know_ what I was planning and I knew I couldn't let myself be talked out of what I was about to do.

I paused as I entered the room and slowly approached the Helmet of Fate. I stared into the golden metal, my heart pounding.

_If I put this on, there's no going back... He almost didn't let Aqualad go the last time. I will essentially be dead to everyone I know._

I knew it had to be done though. Every moment we waited was a moment a child's life was in danger. Fires were spreading with no firemen, crashing planes were wreaking havoc, injuries were piling up with no doctors to treat them…the world was _ending_. I couldn't let that happen.

I rested a hand against the cool metal.

_I wish I could see if fate could help with this though. It would be a waste to sacrifice my life needlessly. _

The helmet glowed abruptly and I suddenly found myself in the blank mindscape of the helmet.

"What?! I didn't even put the helmet on!" I said, startled. Agony filled me. I had been snared before I could even brace for it, my body stolen before I could breath one last, controlled breath.

"Relax, Kid."

Relief filled me as Kent Nelson appeared before me.

"The helmet just borrowed your consciousness to talk. He can't control you."

I sighed in relief, then prepared to explain the situation.

"I can see the events of what happened in the forefront of your mind, and I know what has occurred," the voice of Fate said, echoing through the mindscape.

"You do?" I asked with wide eyes.

"Yes, I can sense the magic even in this form. Klarion has split the world into two dimensions, one with all the adults and one with all the children."

"So Zatara and the League can fix this?" I asked, feeling joy creep into me.

"No."

I froze.

"Why?" It was a simple question, but it was filled with my confusion. The League could do _anything_ why not this?

"We can destroy the source of the spell, but the world will be in ruin. Children everywhere will be dead, parents will riot, destruction will run rampant with no one to fix it. Governments will fall."

"Is there a way to reverse the spell to the point that none of this ever happened?" I asked desperately.

"It can be done. This break in reality is unstable. There is an incantation that will cause the current realities to unravel and reset. But this can only with the full power of the helmet. As it is the helmet is currently being split between two worlds, without its full power we can only hope to destroy the spell, not undo it."

"How can we get the other half?" I asked urgently.

"Once you put on the helmet I can track down the one who can transport between worlds."

I looked up at the ceiling suspiciously.

"Are you selling me snake oil here?"

"He's not," Kent assured me, leaning on his cane with a dark expression on his face. "But I doubt he will release you once he has you."

"But my body is one of science, so it's unfit," I said. I mean, yeah, I was willing to make the sacrifice but I might as well at least _try_ and bargain for my life.

"It does not matter," Fate's voice boomed. "Over the span of a few years my magic can _make_ you fit."

I thought frantically.

"What if I put you on _temporarily_ and then find you someone with a healthy body, but no way to use it. Say, someone in a coma. You could communicate with them and, if they consent, _they_ could put your helmet on. Would that work?" I asked.

"Such a body would take time and magic to be made fully functional…"

"Well it'll take even _longer_ if you sit on a shelf waiting for someone to be desperate enough to put you on. Gosh it's no _wonder_ no one lets you possess them, you don't let people have a life!"

"The balance of the universe is more important than a single life," said Fate haughtily.

"If that's true then why are you so fixated on your _own_?"

There was silence.

"He has a point," said Kent, an amused smirk stretching over his wrinkled face.

"I am the embodiment of order and peace, I am—"

"The _opposite_ of Klarion, who would be more than willing to sacrifice people for his cause. If you want peace you can't yourself be a tyrant who forces others to follow your will. Now answer the question. Will you or will you not possess me _only_ until you find a _willing_ host who would not otherwise be able to live and participate in life without your power?"

There was a pause and the air around me grew charged with electricity. My breath caught in my chest and my skin tingled.

"It is agreed," said the voice as it boomed more than before.

"That was a magical promise," said Kent, smiling at me approvingly. "Good job, kid, I think you may have found a permanent solution to the "bodily host" problem."

"Enough chatter, put on the helmet," Fate commanded.

The connection broke and I found myself standing in front of the helmet.

"Kid?" asked a voice.

I turned and saw Kaldur standing in the doorway, watching me.

I smiled at him.

"If this ends badly, tell Flash to open my old piggy bank. There's a flash drive in it that—says some things I'd want to say if things go bad."

My sweaty hands gripped the helmet and Kaldur leapt forward, trying to grab me.

"Kid!" he shouted.

The helmet slid onto my head and I felt Fate take hold.

I looked through the bleak mindscape for Kent and found him instantly. It wasn't exactly hard seeing as there was nothing _else_ to look at in here.

"So…it's lively as always in here," I said awkwardly. My heart was still racing at the leap I'd taken but I knew I'd made the right decision.

Kent laughed and waved his cane. The mindscape reformed into an old living room with bookshelves and a crystal ball.

"I liked to come here when Fate used to possess me," said Kent happily. "It's the home of my old mentor, where I first met my Inza."

"It's nice," I said, wishing I could see what was going on outside of my body.

Kent smiled walked over to a mahogany side table. An enormous crystal ball was resting on it and he tapped it with his cane. The crystal let out a resonating note and an image began to form within the orb.

"I watch the outside world through this," Kent explained, "though something tells me your generation might prefer…"

Kent conjured an enormous television.

An image filled the screen and I saw Kaldur glaring at the camera—no, I was seeing this through my body's eyes so it was technically me—wait, no I was being possessed so he was glaring at Fate…Gosh this was a mess.

I sat down wearily on a couch Kent had created and the old man took a seat in an armchair.

"You will have him back in due time. For now we must locate the one called Billy Batson," Fate was telling the team leader.

Fate swept from the room and it was like watching someone else play a POV video game. I could see the halls and where I was going, but it was all disconnected because I wasn't the one controlling things.

Fate walked into the main room where Robin was diligently working on a computer.

"Gather your friends," said the voice of Fate.

Robin jumped and turned around. His arms dropped to his sides and his mask grew crinkled as his forehead creased.

"KF," he whispered. I couldn't see his eyes behind the mask but I knew he was incredibly upset.

"I have instructions for you so listen well, child of Gotham."

"No! You give Kid Flash back!" he yelled.

"The boy and I have struck a deal. He has put on the helmet and I will remain in control of his body until I find a more suitable host. Now, listen."

I watched as Fate ordered Robin and Kaldur to send everyone out to look for Billy Batson who was, apparently, Captain Marvel's civilian identity. His _ten-year-old _civilian identity. He was brought to the cave within half an hour and he soon popped into the other dimension to relay Fate's instructions to the League. When he returned he was holding the other dimension's version of the helmet of Fate, which vanished the moment it materialized and synched with the version I was wearing.

"Now, we must coordinate our attack. I need Zatara in position to read _this_ incantation." Fate conjured a scroll and handed it to Billy. "Tell him that he will start casting on _my_ signal."

Billy vanished again. He popped back and forth a few more times before everyone was ready to go.

I watched Fate travel with the team and turned to Kent when I realized things would be pretty dull for a few minutes.

"How did you live like this for so many years?" I asked.

Kent smiled.

"Nabu and I had a special contract. I could take the helmet off for brief periods of time to live my life so long as I continued to train my magic while he was lying dormant. And the helmet was never to leave my side. I had to keep it within so many yards or it would come soaring through the air and smack into me."

I smiled a little at the image of the helmet flying through the air and smacking a young Kent Nelson in the head.

"Sounds like Thor's hammer," I said.

"Pardon?" asked the old man, his antique suit crinkling as he leaned towards me.

"It's from a comic book," I said with a shrug.

Kent chuckled and muttered "Kids."

I leaned into the cushions of the couch and felt the softness of them.

"How do you manage to conjur all this up?" I asked, my fingers tracing the floral print of the couch.

"It takes practice," said Kent. "Nabu guided me through it. Humans grow anxious, even distraught, in blank mindscapes such as the one you saw. He tries to ensure the comfort of his host."

"Probably so their panic doesn't distract him," I scoffed.

"Fate isn't deliberately cruel," Kent told me. "It's just that he hasn't been in touch with the human world enough lately to keep things in perspective. It's good you came back, because he really needed a reality check and he wouldn't listen to me."

I nodded and curled up on the couch, thinking.

"Do you think he'll really be able to undo what happened?" I asked.

"Yes," said Kent with a nod. "I believe that with the full power of the helmet it is indeed possible, especially because you put it on so soon. Had you waited, it would have taken far longer to organize the assault. The power of the spell would have solidified to the point where you have no choice but to break the flow rather than reverse the spell."

"So how does that work? He somehow connects to the time stream and prevents the spell from ever occurring, thus deleting the two realities? If that's the case how will I, or even Fate, remember our deal?"

Kent chuckled.

"This is not science, Wally," said Kent, sitting up straight as a board in his armchair, "it is magic. Everyone within the immediate vicinity of Fate when he reverses the spell will remember. For everyone else, it will be like this never happened. Some mystically sensitive individuals may have a few nightmares but order will be restored overall."

"Good. I'd do anything to save those kids, even alter reality."

"Reality had _been_ altered," Kent corrected. "Fate is rectifying that."

"If Fate wasn't able to step in what would have happened?" I asked.

"Well, as Fate predicted, there would be mass destruction and chaos, but there would be even greater consequences. What is going on in this reality is drastically different from what is going on in the other reality. Klarion would have had to cease the spell eventually and when the two dimensions reconnected both realities would fight for dominance. A burning city block would fight for space with a normal city block and anomalies would occur everywhere. Magic would hold the universes together but there would be tears in reality that would invite more chaos. The world and the people in it would rip itself apart until the world is no longer as we know it." **(2)**

"Geeze, is that all?" I asked, uneasily.

"It would have taken several years of course, but by cooperating with Fate you have untimately saved the planet."

"It seems to me like Fate's doing the saving," I said with a snort.

"It's your body," Kent pointed out.

I shrugged and settled back to watch the television—scratch that—the imaginary_ construct _of a television that allowed us to see what Fate was seeing.

The team caused a distraction by fighting with Klarion and with his cat, which had managed to turn into a tiger, long enough for fate to appear and steal the gem. Billy vanished then reappeared shouting that Zatarra was ready. Fate told him to tell Zatarra to begin. Then he started chanting. The words were strange and ancient and I felt the magic shudder through my body, like an electric shock.

"Magic never felt unpleasant for me," said Kent, clearly feeling it as well. "I suppose it's because I'm predisposed to magic."

I only half-heard him, I was so focused on what was going on in the outside world. The scene in front of me was warping as the words grew louder. A blinding light consumed everything and when it dissipated I saw…

"That's my Dad!" I said in shock.

My body was back in the rehab center.

Kent nodded.

"The spell was a success, the world reverted back to the way it was before reality split, meaning you're right where you started."

"But…won't Klarion just do it all again? Did we just create a time loop?!" I asked, panicked.

"No," said Kent, shaking his head. "Fate took the gem, Klarion remembers his defeat and he used so much power in that spell it ended up weakening him temporarily. He will not be trying anything on a large scale for a while."

I sighed.

"Good. Okay, Fate, let's find you a body."

"This one will do," said Fate, echoing through the imaginary television.

I glanced at the screen and laughed.

"Umm…Fate, that's my Dad, and he's not in a coma. He's able to use his body."

"His health is rapidly deteriorating, I sense that he will die soon," Fate said in a matter-of-fact tone.

The words left me speechless. I swallowed.

"N—No, he's going to get better," I said. "Seriously, you don't want him, he's overweight and old and it's not like he's mystically inclined."

"That is where you're wrong," said Fate.

"Excuse me?" I asked in disbelief.

"He is in his late thirties, with work he can become fit, and he is indeed mystically inclined. His powers have remained dormant however as he has never been exposed to a mystic artifact."

I stood up from the couch as I began to panic.

"You must be wrong! This is my _Dad_ we're talking about. He doesn't have a magical bone in his body!"

"His aura tells a different story," said Fate, gesturing at my Dad. It was then that I saw a faint, green and white glow surrounding my father, interspersed with golden bursts of light.

_No way, no freaking way. This isn't real it's totally not real._

"He's still not a good candidate! He has a life!"

"A life that he threw away for drugs. A life that, without the helmet's assistance, will soon come to an end."

"He's not dying!" I shouted frantically. "He's not!"

Fate suddenly channeled his magic and I saw through his eyes that he'd blocked the door with a force field. My Uncle appeared in the doorway and started pounding on it. I realized that he must've been helping the League on the adult side of the offensive, must have remembered what was going on.

"You promised me I could pick out a willing host who would not be able to live a life without my aid. I have found a host that meets one of the requirements, if he meets the other you will have no more to say on the matter," said Fate.

Fate reached for my father and suddenly the "television" went blank.

"Wait! What just happened? What's he doing?!" I asked.

"He's talking to your father," said Kent grimly.

"He won't say yes, he_ won't_," I said, beginning to pace. "He _can't,_ I need him!"

Kent stood up and put a hand on my shoulder.

"Whatever happens, I will be here to help," he promised.

I clutched at my hair only the sensation wasn't the same sharp feeling I was used to when I did this, it was duller somehow. I remembered then that I wasn't _really_ a physical entity right now, just a construct of thoughts in the form of my usual body. My real body was being possessed. Was my dad about to be condemned to this? To live on fake sensations and a life of watching Fate live _for_ him while he was left alone with no one but Kent?

Kent patted my back kindly.

"Kid, I'm going to tell you this because no one else will, but it isn't that bad, it really isn't. If your dad agrees his life isn't over. In fact, if he choses to, he can strengthen his connection with Fate so he feels more connected to his body and can feel the sensations Fate feels. He will be able to engage in his surroundings, even if he's not in control of his actions. It will be alright."

"No it won't!" I shouted, knocking Kent's hand off my shoulder.

"This is all my fault, if I'd never put on the stupid helmet…"

"Then the world would be in shambles right now," said Kent sharply. "You may not like this but Fate, in his own twisted way, is trying to do you a favor. He saw your dad's health and saw that he _doesn't have long_. He's trying to save him and if I know Nabu, and I should think I _do_ after all these years, he's doing it for _you_."

"Dad's _not_ dying!" I protested.

"And you're in denial."

The words struck me hard and I clenched my teeth.

"He won't agree," I growled.

"He did agree," the voice of Nabu echoed and the living room dissolved.

I was back in the mindscape only this time—this time _Dad_ was here.

"Dad! Get out of here! You don't know what you're agreeing to!" I said desperately.

"Fate connected with me, Wally. I know everything. I know what you did today, I know the sacrifice you were prepared to make, and—and I know that my alternative to this is dying and I don't want that Wally. I want to _be _there for you even—even if it's not quite _me,_ I want to be there, son."

"Dad," I choked, my sadness causing tears to flow down my face.

Dad crossed walked forward and hugged me. It wasn't solid, like a physical hug, but rather like our minds were brushing. I could sense love, pride and sorrow from him and I knew he could sense how much I didn't want him to go.

"Don't leave," I begged.

"I've already gone, Wally. At least this way I get to remain in some form."

"I'll find a cure," I promised, "I'll find a cure so Fate can't possess you anymore!"

"It's fine Wally. Don't worry about all that, just know that I love you, tell your mom I love her too."

"I can no longer maintain each of your consciousness's and the shield to keep Flash out. It is time!"

I felt Nabu leave me, felt the helmet in my hands, but before I'd regained full control Nabu used his last influence over me to force me to slip the helmet over my Father's head.

"No!" I screamed as the shield keeping my uncle out dropped and my father transformed into Fate.

"Do not be alarmed," said Fate, binding me with his magic as I tried to tackle him and rip the helmet off. "I will cast a spell to fool the others at this facility, it will be like he transferred to a new rehabilitation center. I will delete the footage from the camera too. No one will be aware of your identity or your father's."

"Please, Fate," I begged, now sobbing as I tried to break the binds. "Don't do this."

"He agreed," said Fate and a pulse of magic flowed through the air before Fate vanished.

The binds on me disappeared and my uncle rushed to my side.

"Wally!" he asked frantically. "What happened?"

I just stared at the wall, tears falling down my face.

**(1)In the episode "Misplaced" it shows cars crashing as the adults vanish from behind the wheel. In reality this would mean massive pile ups on every roadway in the area. On highways this would mean cars slamming into each other at sixty miles an hour and not braking as no one is controlling the pedals. Planes would fall from the sky without their pilots. Every child in intensive care or in surgery would stop receiving treatment and die. House fires would break out everywhere as adults who were in the process of cooking would vanish, leaving their food to burn. There would be massive casualties and the public would have a revolution the moment they realized what had happened to all of their children. There would be riots in the street and chaos that reaches farther than anyone is prepared for. **

**I do believe governments would collapse because there would be rioting and looting going on because all the destruction going on would have a HUGE impact on resources and shelter available to people. There would also be demand for justice and the public would likely turn against anything supernatural leading to a quite literal witch-hunt against magical individuals and anything else that seems like it could have caused so many children to die. The resulting madness would be too much for government to control and there would be a complete breakdown of authority. **

**(2)Okay, first of all, I got a lot of my info on the kind of crap that happens when two universes collide from the show "Fringe" I just changed the results a bit because it's magic at work here, not science. The apocalypse Kent just predicted is the one you see in Bart's timeline, where the Reach took over. In my story the rips in reality cause enough chaos for the Reach to take control of the planet and destroy the Justice League. Wally's actions in putting on the Helmet of Fate essentially change the DC universe the show is set in because it completely changes what the future WOULD have been. So basically we're entering AU territory here. I'm still going to follow some of the cannon storylines but just know the future is now different.**

**(3) I know I'm a terrible person, but once you wrap your mind around the fact that I completely tore apart cannon (with good reason), you have to admit that Rudy West as Dr. Fate is not the worst plot twist in the world.**


	23. Chapter 23: Fate

"What happened? Why was Fate here?" asked Uncle Barry urgently, kneeling next to me and placing a hand on my shoulder. "Why were you wearing that helmet?"

"I—" the word came out, barely voiced and I swallowed hard as I tried to force myself to speak.

"Is everything okay in here?" asked a voice.

The pair of us turned around and saw a nurse standing in the doorway. She saw the look on my face and her brow furrowed.

"What's wrong, honey?" she asked.

I froze up as I locked eyes with her. I knew I had to say _something _to cover up what had just happened but all the thoughts had left my head.

Before my uncle could respond in my place the nurse blinked and she looked like she'd suddenly remembered something.

"Oh! You're looking for your dad."

The intonation on the words was odd though, she sounded like a bad actor reading lines from a script.

"We just transferred him over to the southern rehab center. We can get your uncle the paperwork so you can go visit him."

There was a spark of unnatural light in her eyes and I realized that Fate must have covered for us. I stood up, swaying slightly as I did. My uncle rose and caught my shoulder.

"Poor thing, I can only imagine what you thought when you saw the empty bed."

The nurse's voice was beginning to return to normal.

"I'm sorry we scared you like that."

The nurse's voice trailed off and her brow furrowed.

"Now… I just need to figure out who put in that transfer order…."

"The—The guy at the front desk will know," I said vaguely, trying to focus on the lie Fate had created for us.

"Right! Of course!"

The nurse excused herself and left, certain that the guy at the front desk would take care of everything.

I followed her out of the room, my shoulders hunched and my feet dragging.

I ran a hand along the lifeless walls of the rehab facility as I made my way towards the exit as I tried to anchor myself. My uncle wasn't asking any questions. I could tell by the subtle touch of the ear and the look on his face that someone had just called him on his league unit.

We passed the front desk and the person on duty asked:

"Hey, did you hear about your dad's transfer?"

"A nurse gave us the paperwork," I said vaguely, barely sparing the man a glance.

"Excellent! Have a nice day."

I pursed my lips as I pushed through the door. If Fate could pull some freaky Jedi-mind trick on the rehab center staff, what else could he do?

I reached the parking lot and glanced wearily up at the highway. I paused as I realized what I was seeing and then I took off running.

"Wally!" my uncle yelled out.

I kept going though.

I heard footsteps getting closer and closer but I stopped before they could reach me.

"What are you doing?" asked my uncle.

My toes were touching the very edge of the highway's shoulder. Cars rushed by, one after another and my eyes followed them. A blue mini van with pre-teens in the back, a jeep with a young couple smoking cigarettes, a smart car with a little old lady behind the wheel, a station wagon being driven by a hassled looking man who was arguing with the older man in the passenger seat. All of them, every last one of them, was safe.

A white pick up truck passed and I thought of Linda, and the children. None of them would remember. They would all be fine.

"Let's get you to the car," said Uncle Barry uneasily.

He steered me away from the highway and back towards the parking lot, but I couldn't stop myself from craning my neck to look behind me as we walked. I was transfixed by the cars, and relieved by the lack blood. There were no bodies on the highway, no dead kids.

I hopped into my uncle's car and sat there, still staring at all the passing cars as he backed out of his parking space and drove out onto the highway.

"Batman ordered you back to the cave," he said. "He said something about magic. What _happened?_"

I blinked and looked over at him.

"What do you mean?" I asked, confused. _He was there, right?_

"I mean, that one minute we're visiting your dad, the next you're passing him the Helmet of Fate and Batman's calling us to the cave to discuss some magical crisis that's just occurred."

The words caused struck me, hard.

"You should remember. If you were fighting Kalrion you should remember," I said in a low voice.

"Wally, what are you talking about?" asked my uncle, confused.

"If you don't remember it means you weren't there—" I muttered.

"Where?!" demanded my uncle.

Something inside me snapped.

"You weren't there! Why weren't you there? If you weren't helping us take down Klarion then where WERE you?!" I shouted.

"I don't know what you're talking about!" my uncle yelled back and he almost rear-ended a car that had passed us.

My anger vanished as the lives of the passengers in front of us flashed before my eyes. It was a crappy old car with a stick figure family plastered on the back window. At least one of the three kids pictured was sitting in the back seat and for a moment I could see that car crumpled up like tissue paper on the side of the road with smoke pouring from under the hood.

"Never mind," I said, my eyes wide and terrified as I tried to calm my pounding heart."Don't worry about it. Just drive safe. We'll talk at the cave."

"Kid—"

"Please," I begged my voice cracking. "I didn't do what I did just to watch these people die again."

Silence stifled us and I chocked on it the whole way to the zeta-tube.

The bright light from the transporter made my head hurt and it took me a few seconds longer than usual to recover when I made it to the other side.

I had barely registered the fact that the whole darn team was packed into the room when something tackled me from the side.

"You dork!" shouted a familiar, happy, voice as one arm pulled me into an awkward half-hug, half-headlock while the other gave me a noogie.

I stumbled out of Robin's grip and he grinned.

I stared at him blankly and the smile started to fall.

"KF?"

A hand smacked the back of my aching head and I winced, grabbing it.

"That's for scaring us all half to death!" said Artemis, tossing her blonde hair behind her shoulder and giving me a half-hearted glare.

M'gann floated over with a bright smile and gave me a hug.

"How'd you escape Fate?" she asked as she wrapped her arms around me.

I shrugged her off, feeling bombarded by all the greetings and questions. I said the only thing that came into my mind.

"I didn't."

The mood in the cave dropped.

"What do you mean you didn't?" asked Superboy from where he was hovering by the edge of the group.

I glanced at Flash for support, because he always knew what to say when I didn't. He looked just as confused as everyone else though.

My gaze locked on the cave ground and I found I couldn't word what it was that had happened.

No one spoke until a webbed hand hit my shoulder.

"Has he made you his permanent host?" asked Kaldur, asking the question no one else in the room was brave enough to ask.

"We made a deal," I said tiredly. "We said he could have someone whose body was failing, someone who couldn't have a life without magic. Someone who consented to be the host. I didn't realize he'd pick…"

A look of understanding filled Kaldur's eyes.

"I'm so sorry," he said, his eyes full of compassion.

I opened my mouth to speak but my eyes watered and I pasted my hands to my face to cover it up. I didn't want to start crying in front of the whole team.

Robin picked up on my distress and reacted quickly, wrapping an arm around my shoulder and removing me from the situation.

"Come on, I'll help you write the report," he said.

I heard Artemis's whisper of "What just happened?" as Robin hustled me out of the room.

Robin walked me to his room, as it was closer than mine. He sat on his bed cross-legged and held his arms out, fingers splayed in offering of the secret trapeze bro-hug passed down from John Grayson.

I felt a sense of déjà vu as I recalled the night of the simulation, where we'd talked about the end of the world. I never truly felt the full shock from the whole nightmare; so much had happened afterwards. As I stared at Robin's hands though I recalled what it felt like to _know_ that the world was ending and realized that I was feeling a lot of that stuff again.

I held up a finger, silently asking for a minute to collect myself. Then I tucked my knees to my chest just as Robin had not so long ago and waited until I was calm enough to talk. When my head felt like it was back on my shoulders I sighed and stood up, pacing around the room slowly, trying to think up words to explain what was going on.

"He picked your Dad, didn't he?" asked Robin after a few minutes.

"Yea," I muttered.

"Fate's a scumbag," hissed Robin.

"He's a scumbag that saved the world," I said, my voice dead. "Apparently reality as we know it would have been ripped apart if that spell had been allowed to continue."

I continued to pace as Robin shook his head.

"It's still a disaster. Emphasis on the "Dis."

The pun earned no reaction and Robin's shoulders slumped as he realized how bad the timing was.

"I'm sorry," he said.

"I don't really care," I said tiredly, dismissing the apology. "I'm just—not feeling so great right now. I mean…what do I tell my mom? She's barely spoken to me as it is. I mean, if she kicked me out for turning Dad in to the police, she'll probably disown me for _this_."

"She kicked you out?" asked Robin, confused.

"Not technically, I guess," I said, rubbing some of the residual wetness from my eyes on the back of my sleeve. "It's complicated."

Robin waited for me to elaborate.

"You read Batman's report, right?" I asked, not really wanting to explain.

"No."

I looked at him, confused. I'd essentially _told _him to the last time we talked.

"I didn't understand why you wouldn't tell me. I thought about it a lot but even though I'm a detective, all I could do was speculate. What I _do_ know is you've been honest with me before so if you felt you had to lie you probably had a good reason. I didn't want to do any more digging until I figured out that reason."

I bit my lip and winced in pain. It seems I'd been chewing it a lot earlier in the day.

Robin pulled a pack of gum from his belt and handed me a stick.

I looked down at it confused.

"Better this than your lip," he said with a shrug. "Girls won't want to kiss you if your lips are all chewed up and gross."

"Thanks man," I said, half sarcastically, half sincerely as I accepted the gum.

I chewed it for a minute before speaking.

"Would you believe that it was actually a request?"

"What?" asked Robin, confused.

"Why I didn't tell you. My mom asked me not to tell anyone. She said she had things under control. I listened because I wanted to believe her."

Robin looked at me solemnly and I laughed.

"Crazy, right? But she wouldn't say what was wrong at first, so I didn't know he was on drugs. I should have. I'm a bloody super hero and it didn't really cross my mind."

"No one looks for that stuff in their civilian life," said Robin quietly.

"You'd have noticed sooner, I'm sure," I said, my tone growing angry. "I guess I just have a talent for only seeing what I want to see. Just like in that stupid exercise. Just like today when I made that deal with Fate. I couldn't accept that my dad was—" My voice grew weak and I couldn't say the word "dying" so I just skipped it and kept talking. "—anyway, I couldn't accept that he was _that_ sick. So I _never_ thought that that deal could apply to him. Same stupid story."

"It's not your fault."

I shook my head.

"It's whatever," I said wearily. "Point is, Batman's the only person I intentionally _told._ Aunt Iris and uncle Barry found out about Dad's arrest from one of Aunt Iris's co-workers. Since news travels quick in Central the kids at school found out and that was just _fantastic." _I said sourly.

Robin winced.

"That _sucks_," he said sympathetically.

"Then," I said, waving a hand in exasperation, "Flash got more info from Batman and of _course_ they decided to tell Black Canary. She gave me the choice of talking to her and talking to Roy for those sessions we had and we both know how well BC and I get along."

Robin nodded.

"She wouldn't have been my first pick to talk you through all that," he said dryly. "So Roy knows then?"

"Yeah, Roy knows. Kaldur too, but that was an accident. He happened to be around when I explained my theory on Crack Venom."

"I _did_ read about that. Batman said while there's no solid proof as of yet it's a highly credible theory."

"Did he?" I asked, pausing in my pacing

"Yea," said Robin. "But I wouldn't go crazy with that, Walls, having someone to blame won't fix anything."

"We'll see about that," I said darkly, thinking of all the horrible things I would do to whoever decided to destroy on my family.

Robin looked uncomfortable and he changed the subject quickly.

"So you didn't tell me about all this because you weren't telling _anyone. _ Is that it?"

"Pretty much," I said with a sigh. "Also, it was kind of nice to have a place in my life where I could pretend everything was fine."

Robin struggled to reply to that.

"Well—" he said finally. "If things couldn't be fine for you, at least you made them fine for all those kids today."

I closed my eyes as images of dark blood marring innocent faces nearly overwhelmed me.

"Yea," I croaked. Then, just to remind myself I said: "The kids are fine."

The pair of us sat there for a while, reflecting on the mission, the near-end of the world.

I thought about Fate, of what had it been like inside the helmet, the determination that had filled me as I made the decision to put it on, the relief I felt when he said he could erase what had happened—

A thought occurred to me suddenly that hadn't occurred to me earlier in the day.

"The adult universe…" I asked, slowly. "I erased what happened, but what if someone was conceiving a child there, or even here, after the universe split? Now things are back to normal…that child will never be born. Have—have I erased people from existence?" My stomach turned at the thought.

"No," said Robin. "No, Wally, you didn't."

"But…"

"I asked Fate about that as we were setting up to fight Klarion. Those destined to be born, are born. When reality is altered that drastically, alternate universes are created. The children were still conceived elsewhere, just in a different universe."

"So…there's a universe out there where we _couldn't_ save them?" I croaked, my head spinning.

"Don't dwell on it, Walls. You remember what Batman told us when we first learned about alternate universe theory?"

I closed my eyes as Robin repeated the words we'd been told so long ago when we were young, and naïve, and had unrealistic expectations of what it would be like to be heroes. When we'd only heard about things like alternate universes in comic books.

"Every decision we make has an impact. When an alternate version of you makes the wrong decision it has no bearing on you and the choices _you_ make. Do the right thing for _this_ universe and the people in it. You won't save anyone at all if you're fretting over the what-ifs of people who don't even exist in our world."

"You're right, it's just…a lot to swallow," I muttered.

"I know. Look on the bright side though…at least you have a big mouth…"

"Dude!" I exclaimed, smacking his arm with a shocked laugh. "You—" I had no idea how to respond to the humor so I just shook my head with a half-hearted grin. "You can be such a _Dick_, sometimes."

"I was born a Dick," said Robin calmly. "I don't know what _your _excuse is."

I snorted. I didn't really _feel_ like joking but the banter was a good distraction, so I kept it going.

"You know sometimes I wonder if you're my best friend or my worst enemy," I muttered, trying to insert the normal level of sarcasm into my tone.

"Bit of both, think of me as your older brother," said Robin with a shrug.

"Older?" I asked, raising an eyebrow. "You're younger than me."

"But I'm more mature than you, and I've been fighting crime longer."

"I'm pretty sure using words like "aster" and giggling like a maniac in battle don't earn you any points on the maturity scale," I pointed out.

Robin shook his head with a smirk.

Silence fell and the humor died so quickly—it was like it had never been there at all.

"So what now?" Robin asked, his tone serious.

I sighed. "Well, Fate won't let go of Dad unless he's able to live a quality life without the helmet, so I guess we just need to wait for a cure," I said.

"What about Supes, M'gann, and Artemis? Are you letting them in on this?"

I groaned and flopped onto the bed.

"How many freaking times do I have to repeat myself?" I half-yelled. "Like seriously, everyone and their bloody mom thinks they have the right to know and that I should have to explain things to them. I can't even talk about this junk without yelling or getting all cry-ish and emotion-y and you expect me to debrief the team on it?!"

Robin held up his hands. "Easy Walls, it was just a suggestion."

I crossed my arms irritably and he sighed.

"I said I'd help you write your report on what happened. Why don't we do that and go from there? There's nothing saying _you_ have to be the one to brief everyone. Okay?"

I snorted.

"_Fine,_" I said.

One benefit of going from crying to, laughing, to yelling in such a short space of time is that it drained all my energy. I didn't freak out as I told Robin what happened. I just spoke in a dead voice as he typed everything into one of the standard issue laptops my team used. Robin hesitated as he concluded the report.

"What level security clearance should I set for this?" he asked quietly.

I closed my eyes.

"I dunno, man what do you think?"

"—They're gonna find out sometime."

"General then, all current team and league members."

"You sure?"

I gave Robin a look.

"You gave me advice and I took it. Are you changing your mind on me?"

"No, you just were really irritated earlier—"

"I'm _always _irritated lately," I said tiredly. "I'm sorry I yelled at you."

"It happens," said Robin with a shrug. "I get it."

"It's lame," I said with a sigh. "Neither of us should have to "get" any of this stuff. We should be lazing around, eating nachos, and talking about girls. Our biggest worry should be homework."

"Don't tell me you're going all civilian on me," said Robin.

The words snapped me out of my wistfulness.

"Yea, you're right," I said, trying to shake off the self-pity.

I thought of how hard I worked to get my powers and work with Uncle Barry. How desperately I had wanted to make a difference, whatever the cost.

"I had that life once and I opted out," I said, my mind running through so many experiences. Good, bad, crazy…All the lives I'd saved, those kids today. All the people I helped, like James, like the kid he'd nearly blinded. Even though right now _sucked_, if I could do it all again…

"Normalcy is overrated," I said seriously.

**So. Many. Revisions. I'm sorry it's so late, like crazy late. But seriously, the revisions! I hope this isn't terrible. I reached a point with this fic where I had to push forward or scrap it entirely. I chose to push forward, I hope you guys find it a worth-while read, if you're still with me after the unintentional hiatus. I didn't realize how much time had gone by. My greatest thanks to anyone who has read this far. **


	24. Chapter 24: Good Enough

**TRIGGER WARNING: **

**Long story short, someone I love nearly died recently (things are okay now) and I couldn't do what I was originally going to do with this chapter; it just felt hollow and mechanical. So instead of keeping this chapter at arms length, I really put myself into it. For those of you who have been through a similar situation, this chapter may hit a nerve.**

Dick was too uncomfortable to sit with me any longer; I could tell by the way he kept messing with the edge of his sleeve. It wasn't his fault, there was just nothing he could do or say to make things better. It didn't help that I'd closed myself off not long after we did the report.

I'd already freaked out in front my friend once today, now I was just trying not to do it again. Dick looked torn between discomfort and worry so he mentioned something about grabbing me some food. It was an excuse to take a step away, but also a promise to come back.

He walked out the door and I was alone, alone for the first time since—the incident.

For a full twenty seconds after he left I just stared at the door, my mind still fighting to keep me calm, the way it had when Dick was in the room. Then, I started _thinking. _

Until now I hadn't had time to think. There had been the crisis with the kids, then the thing with Fate, then coming back to the cave, being bombarded. I'd _felt_ what had happened. But there was also a part of me trying to stay under control. After all, there were people wanting to know what had happened. I put the energy into writing the report. I gave it my focus. Some fragments of my grief, rage, and hysteria slipped out but I'd kept it under my grip, I kept redirecting, refocusing, trying to get a grip, get a grip, get a grip. There's only so long you can hold yourself off though and every terrified thought I'd been trying not to think about for so long slammed into me at once.

First came the feeling of panic, and I tried to fight the tidal wave with calming thoughts.

_It's okay, it's okay. Kent says he had a contract, he could see his wife, live a bit when he wasn't being possessed. _

Then it hit me, something that hadn't had an opportunity to occur to me before now_. _

_ If Dad's health is declining…the state he's in…he can't put the helmet back on after he takes it off. Without Fate's magic he's not functional, so he can't take it off. Fate won't let him…He..I may never see him again. _

_ It's like you told Robin, just find a cure…_

_ No one's been cured yet._

_ It could still…_

_ What if you're in denial? Like all those other times? What if you've lost him for good?_

"No," I said out loud. People talk about feeling like your heart's been ripped out and I _felt_ it. Actual hurt in my chest that overwhelmed me and I gasped with the pain of it. Tears, there were tears too now. They fell quickly, flooding my vision and slipping down my cheeks.

_No, no, no, no no! _

I didn't tell him I loved him enough, I never got a chance to tell him that he was one of the people who inspired me to be Kid Flash. There would be no Christmas Eve present sneak peeks, no action movie double features, no hotdog binges at summer cookouts. He wouldn't be there to take me to my driver's test, he wouldn't be there for my next big victory against a supervillian, wouldn't be there for my high school graduation.

The worst thing about it though, the _very_ worst thing about all of this was that I hadn't expressed to him how much it _meant_ to me that he attended these events. He didn't know how much I appreciated him. Sure, I said it once or twice but I'd said mean things to him once or twice too. Could the nice things I said outweigh the mean? I was always to busy with the team, or with school, or with my uncle. I hadn't made enough time to tell him he was important, that he mattered to me, that I needed him.

I _needed_ him.

"No, no, no, no, nooo!" I moaned clutching my hair and pacing across the room. My chest was vibrating with sobs. Someone would notice, Superboy would hear, Miss Martian would pick up on my emotions. I didn't care though, I didn't care, I didn't care, I didn't care! I never cared, not enough, not when it mattered, I should have paid more attention, should have told him these things. Maybe then he wouldn't have gotten addicted in the first place. I paced more and I saw myself in the mirror of my bedroom. My face was red, contorted with sadness. My eyes were vividly green in comparison, eerily green, like a ghost. My cheeks were soaked with tears. It was like looking at someone else, someone in a movie, a freaking tragic movie. This wasn't happening. I knew crap could happen as a superhero, I _knew _it, but this was my civilian life. This wasn't supposed to happen. Not to me, this stuff happened to other people. No, it couldn't be, it couldn't be, it couldn't be!

"Dad," I whined, sinking to the floor, my knees up to my chest.

My door opened, no knock, and I jumped, looking up.

Flash was standing there, a plate of food in hand and a frown on his face.

"Wally," he muttered, his voice soothing and sympathetic, the kind of tone he used back when I found out my grandma died.

"I—I don't know what to do," I squeaked.

And just like that he was right there next to me wrapping his arms around me. The door was closed and his cowl was off and suddenly it was just me and Uncle Barry.

"I don't know what to do," I stuttered again. "I mean…someone has to tell mom, and we have to figure out what to tell people in Dad's civilian life and…and…and…and Dad's gone! Fate took him and he won't give him back, I don't know what to do!"

"Oh, Kiddo," Uncle Barry sighed. "We'll figure this out, okay? You don't have to do this alone, okay? We won't _let_ you do this alone."

"How am I gonna tell mom?" I whimpered.

_Oh man, mom. Poor mom, she loves Dad. They were high school sweethearts, life companions._ _How could I tell her something like that? How could I?_

"What am I gonna say?" I asked, the pain in my chest increasing when I imagined her tears.

"You don't have to tell her, I'll explain what happened."

I should have said no, that it was my responsibility to tell her since it was my fault he was in this mess. I didn't though.

"Okay," I muttered.

Mom needed to hear this from someone who wouldn't fall apart and…I was afraid.

_You ruined his life!_

If she said that when I put him in rehab what would she say about this?

I cried for minutes, full minutes. I couldn't stop. It hurt too much to stop. My uncle just sat there with me as the _weight_ of what had happened today finally settled on me. The kids, their screams. Oh, their _screams_! Their blood, their pain. And Dad. Dad, Dad, Dad.

"Shh, just breathe," muttered Uncle Barry, but I couldn't breathe, not with his arms around me, they were constricting.

"I can't," I said, suffocating. I tried to shove him off but his arms tightened. I started hyperventilating.

"Wally, look at me, no, _look_ at me."

I stared at him.

"Breathe in, slowly."

And that's when I came back. The words pulled me out of the overwhelming panic and I started trying to breathe _properly. _Soon the sobs were less frequent, then they stopped. There were still tears, but they moved slowly, they didn't flood.

"I don't know what to do," I said brokenly.

"That's okay, you don't have to."

"I want to though," I muttered.

"Let's make a list then. What do you _need_ to do?"

"Tell mom," I said tiredly.

"I've got that covered," he said steadily.

"Um," my voice shook.

"Find out if there's a cure for this thing. It's the only chance of releasing Dad from Fate."

"We'll look into your theory," he said. "If they really used this thing to gain leverage over Qurac, they probably have a cure."

"Right, right, sure, um…If he's cured, does that release him from Fate's promise?" I asked.

"It depends on the wording of the promise," said my uncle. "Zatara mentioned that he needed the exact wording of the deal to be completely sure."

I felt worry grip me again.

"_Exact_ wording?" I asked.

So much had happened, my mind was so clouded. How could I recall _exactly_ what I said?

"Miss Martian said she would help you recall it, if you need her to."

"Okay," I said slowly and stood up on shaky legs.

Plan. I had a plan now.

_I can fix this, I can fix this…I hope._

"Hold on there a minute," said Uncle Barry, grabbing my elbow. "Sit down for a minute, you need to eat."

I rolled my eyes and sat and he passed me a plate of sandwiches. I took the first bite, to appease him. It went down rough but when it hit my stomach…

_Holy cow, I'm freaking ravenous._

I swear I _blinked _and the plate was empty.

"You need more?" asked my uncle.

_Tempting…_

"Later," I said, glancing wistfully at the empty plate. "I need to find M'gann, the longer I wait the more likely I am to forget the exact wording."

"Let me go get her," said my uncle. "You can go…clean up a bit. We can meet in the conference room."

He squeezed my shoulder and left the room.

_Clean up?_

I reached up to touch my face and instantly felt snot and tears.

_Gross. _

I wiped my face off on my shirt, tossed it on the ground and grabbed a new one. Five minutes later, when I was looking slightly less deranged, I made my way to the conference room.

M'gann and Flash were there. The Martian stood up the moment I entered the room.

"Wally," she breathed and she wrapped her arms around my neck, resting her chin on my shoulder.

"We've all been so worried. Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," I lied, patting her arm.

She pulled back and looked at me with those big brown eyes.

"Fine?" she challenged softly.

"Well—no—let's not talk about that. I need to remember exactly what Fate said to me."

The girl nodded, her eyes sad.

"Of course."

She gestured to a chair.

"It'll be easier if you sit down."

I took a seat and she sat down next to me.

"Now I want you to try and relax," she said.

_Relax? There's a good joke._

I breathed in and leaned into the chair as best I could.

"Good, I'm going to enter your mind now."

I wanted to warn her that it wasn't a nice place to be right now but I could already feel her touch on my temples, strengthening the connection.

I closed my eyes and she was there. I could feel her presence. Friendly, hopeful, brave, but there was something darker. Something I'd never been able to pinpoint until now. Self-consciousness, guilty secrets, worry. I'd felt those things a lot lately…

M'gann withdrew slightly, pulling back, guarding herself.

"_Sorry." I told her, "I didn't mean—"_

_"My fault. Your contact with Fate temporarily impacted the way you link psychically. I should have taken that into account. Okay, think about the deal you made with Fate._

I focused my mind as best I could, trying to not to slip back into frenzied thoughts about _why_ this was important. M'gann helped me to push those things away and my attention became total.

I was back in the trophy room. Scared but determined, my hand was touching the helmet. I could see it feel it. Then the connection with Fate enveloped me.

_…Will you or will you not possess me only until you find a willing host who would not otherwise be able to live or participate in life without your power?_

I said the words out loud, so Flash could record them.

Miss Martian probed my mind further, but there was nothing more to the promise. My thoughts began to grow dark again. M'gann noticed and she sent a wave of—something—through my mind. It felt like affection—it was her affection for me. She was trying to help, show me she cared.

The positive feeling didn't ward off the other thoughts, but it didn't fade either. With one more soothing thought, M'gann carefully ended the connection, and I was left sitting in my chair feeling frustrated and defeated.

"Doesn't sound like there's much we can do about the bargain unless Dad's health improves," I grumbled, cursing myself for making such an inflexible deal. Of course, at the time, I didn't realize he'd chose my _Dad. _

"We'll run it by Zatanna and Zatara, they might have a different perspective," said Flash.

He stood up.

"So are you coming home tonight or are you staying here?" he asked.

I thought it over for a second.

_Go to Uncle Barry's house…and risk seeing mom…and remembering the fact that Dad's not there…or face my friends…_

"I'll stay here," I said softly.

Flash patted my shoulder.

"I'll let you know when we hear something."

"Thanks," I said absentmindedly.

Flash walked away.

_Didn't care enough, never told him never said…_

I was suddenly gripped by the thoughts that plagued me earlier. I didn't work hard enough to make my dad feel appreciated. I wasn't about to make the same mistake again.

"No," I said sharply.

Flash paused and looked at me in confusion.

"Really, thank you. For everything. I'm sorry I don't say that enough. I'm sorry I'm so—not myself right now. I'm sorry."

"You know I love you kid," he replied.

"I know. Love you too."

Flash nodded at me, still looking a bit confused.

"You—do you need me to stay?"

"No, I just wanted you to know that," I said with a shrug.

"Okay then. I'll see ya later, kiddo, call me if you need anything," he said, still sounding confused.

I nodded.

He looked at me for a moment longer.

"Yea...like I said, just call," he said awkwardly, then he left.

M'gann put a hand on my arm.

"We all love you too, you know," she said when I turned to look at her.

"Thanks Meg," I said, I said gently, remembering the friendly affection she'd sent me earlier.

She sighed and removed her hand from my arm.

"Based on what I saw in your head, you probably just want to hide in your room until it's time for you to go back to Central," she said.

"Pretty much," I said with a miserable shrug, now feeling a little uncomfortable and more than a little exposed.

"You can if you want," said M'gann sadly. "I'll make sure the others won't bug you, but—" she sighed. "I think you'll feel a lot sadder if you lock yourself up all alone, and—the team is really worried. I think you should join us. You don't have to pretend to be happy, or tell us what happened, just...let us be here with you."

"Well…" I said, taken aback by the speech and even more so by the emotion behind it. Now she was giving me that look, the big, sad, brown-eyed look. Some would call it a puppy dog look. Whatever it was, it was really hard to say no to.

"Sure, let's go."

M'gann smiled and pulled me up with her, wrapping her arm through mine. It was an old-fashioned gesture, probably brought about by watching too many "old Earth sitcoms."

"I think we still have a couple ready-made pizzas in the freezer. I could put them in the oven, and maybe have some vegetables with them. Canary's been telling Conner and I that we need to eat more vegetables."

"I'll never say no to pizza—Unless I've had it the past few meals and I get constipated or something," I joked tiredly.

"What's that phrase Earth girls use when you give too much information?" asked M'gann, wrinkling her nose.

"TMI?"

"That's the one," she said with a nod.

I cracked a half-smile, but it was feeble and died swiftly.

My eyes watered up again and I rubbed them away quickly, breaking M'gann's grip on my arm.

"Sorry," I grumbled.

"Why are you sorry? You're sad. It's okay to be sad."

"Yea, yea," I muttered, averting my eyes. "Maybe I should do a raincheck…."

"I thought you'd never say no to pizza," said M'gann, batting her eyes at me.

"Way to hit me where it hurts," I complained, clutching my stomach. I _was _hungry, and I'd have to see everyone sooner or later…

"Come on, then," said M'gann giving me a nudge and we walked into the main room of the cave.

Artemis and Kaldur were talking quietly in a corner, Superboy was staring at static on the television, and Robin and Zatanna were sitting next to each other at the kitchen counter. Robin was typing on his wrist computer and Zatanna had a heavy, ancient book in front of her.

Robin and Superboy looked up.

"Wally," said Superboy and Artemis, Kaldur, and Zatanna looked up too.

"Conner," I acknowledged.

"Want to watch television?" he asked.

"Okay," I said, swallowing.

I moved through the room, knowing everyone was watching me and sat down next to him. I stared at the static. Things were tense for a few minutes, then, slowly, everyone went back to what they were doing.

We watched that static for ten minutes while M'gann put food in the oven and the others continued their prior tasks. My eyes started to droop a little. Living two days in a row (even if the time stream did somehow manage to reset) caused a weariness that I could only describe as jetlag. I was just starting to sink back into the couch when Superboy spoke again.

"I like your dad. He let me borrow clothes when I didn't have any, and he let me stay in his house."

I remembered that day. Before we placed him in the cave, Superboy needed a place to stay. My parents took him in without question, found him something to wear so I could take him shopping with the money Batman gave me. Too many memories.

_Darnit, Supes!_

I had to rub at my eyes again.

"Yea, he's pretty cool," I forced out.

"If your family needs help, you know where to find me," he said.

"Thanks," I muttered.

Another pause and I could _feel_ the others listening.

"How's your mom?" he asked.

A hysterical laugh slipped from my mouth.

"Heck if I know. We had to move out of the house because we lost Dad's income and since Mom can't afford me she's off on her own somewhere."

"Where are you staying then?" asked Artemis, a little sharply.

"With my aunt and uncle," I said, waving a hand and pinching the bridge of my nose. I'd read somewhere that could stop tears; it was worth a shot.

"Mom's been mad at me since I put Dad in rehab. She'll _hate_ me for this."

"It is not your fault," said Kaldur, crossing the room and sitting next to me.

"Really? Who put on that stupid helmet, huh? Who made that deal?" I asked angrily.

"Baywatch, you saved the world," said Artemis, also entering my line of vision.

I put my head in my hands, blocking her out.

"Yea but I traded my life for my Dad's."

"You didn't know what Fate was going to do," chimed in Robin. "And he's your Dad, he loves you. He'd rather it be him than you in that helmet. You're his _son_."

"I'm not that great of a son. I didn't appreciate him enough," I said bitterly.

Kaldur put a hand on my shoulder.

"At times like these, it is normal to feel like you didn't say enough, or do enough. You have done all you can though. Instead of questioning what should have been done, you must consider what can be done."

I looked over at him.

"I mean," I shrugged. "Batman's taken over my Qurac theory."

"What Qurac theory?" asked Artemis.

I sighed tiredly, preparing myself to drag it up again. Instead, Kaldur spoke, beginning to explain the theory. He glanced at me to see if I was okay with letting him speak for me. Normally I would have insisted on speaking for myself, but I was drained, mentally, physically, emotionally.

I nodded and Kaldur kept talking. His voice was calm and soothing, like Uncle Barry's was when he used to read me bedtime stories. I was surprised when he mentioned details I barely remembered myself. Either he listened really hard that day, or he's been doing his own research on the situation.

The team was quiet for a few moments after Kaldur finished speaking.

"Nice theory, Baywatch," said Artemis at last, and there was no sarcasm, for once. "Sounds legit. We should go check it out."

"As much as I hate to say it we need more information," said Robin, looking at me nervously, like he was expecting me to yell at him and ask whose side he was on. "Batman's been looking into it. I asked if they'd send us in on a mission, but we still need more intel. We aren't sure if this should go to us or if The League needs to get involved."

At first I was angry, just as Robin expected.

_We should go now! Screw intel, Fate has my dad!_

Then I was offended.

_Passing it over us to The League? We can do this; we're capable!_

Then I was disappointed.

_If we rush in too soon we might not get the cure. And it is an international problem, maybe it should go to The League. They're better with politics._

My feelings cooled and I shrugged helplessly.

"Well," I said slowly. "Last few decisions I made didn't go over so well. Might as well take his word for it."

Some son I was, letting Fate keep Dad until The League figured it out. To me it felt like they sure were taking their sweet time. It felt like I'd given them the intel ages ago.

"You saved all those kids," said Zatanna, speaking up tentatively. "I think that was a good decision."

I didn't really know Zatanna all that well, so I wasn't sure how to respond. In the end I just shrugged again.

"So then, what _are _you going to do?" asked M'gann.

"What?" I asked tiredly.

"Well," she hesitated. "You've given off such a—a restless presence lately. I can't imagine you'll be happy just waiting for information."

"She's right," said Artemis. "You need to find something to occupy yourself."

I growled in exasperation and glared at the blonde.

"I just lived two crappy days in a row and it's not even night yet. All I want to do is get through the rest of this—this _nightmare_ without ruining anyone else's life. Does that count as a good enough occupation?" I snarled.

Artemis opened her mouth to retort, Kaldur put a hand on my shoulder, Zatanna looked nervous, M'gann looked guilty, and Robin held his breath.

"Yep," said Superboy.

The attention switched to him.

"Yep?" I asked, completely disarmed.

"Yep," he said with a nod. "That's good enough."

"Okay then," I said, settling down into the couch and crossing my arms.

Without another word Superboy handed me the remote. I passed it to Kaldur since channel surfing was beyond me at the moment and he turned on the history channel. The three of us sat there watching a documentary on ancient Rome for the rest of the night and slowly, the rest of the team came to join us. Robin with his wrist computer, Zatanna with her book, M'gann with the pizza she made. Artemis pulled out her homework and we just sat. No one said a word and soon my eyelids fell closed. It was the worst day (or was it two, since I'd lived the same day twice?) of my life, I was just to tired do anything else.

Tomorrow, I would get up. I would look into that theory again, I would check in with Zatara and Zatanna on the loophole, I would ask Flash about my mom. For now though, I was just going to fall asleep on the couch next to my friends because (far as tonight went) it could pass as "good enough."

**The line between drama and cheesy is pretty thin and I feel like this chapter may have fallen into the cheddar. I tried though, and I gave it a few days after I wrote it before posting it to make sure I was happy with it. I hope it isn't a flop. **


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